Nightmarch

[PattayaOneTeam]

Nightmarch

Lucky Seven? I have the best/ worst occupation in the world: wearing the hat of a nightlife journalist (as well as the rainbow coloured one that looks like a helicopter). Under the pseudonym ‘Nightmarch’ I’ve been writing a regular column about the night bar scene in newspapers and magazines in Pattaya since June 2000, and still have a functioning liver (probably because, contrary to popular belief, I’m merely a social drinker).

In a peripatetic writing career the Nightmarch column has appeared in practically every fish and chips wrapper worthy of the name, eventually moving on for a variety of reasons, some personal, others financial. The column is also translated into German for Hallo Magazin. Other than this I have no further night editorial ambitions.

This will be the seventh English-language publication to take Nightmarch and even before this issue hit the newsstands I feel as though Pattaya One is its natural home.

Given the people and the writers involved in this product - not quite a newspaper and not really a magazine - I feel it will slot neatly into a gap in the marketplace and I look forward to a long association.

The deckchairs have been neatly re-arranged: The moveable feast that is the nightlife scene in Fun Town is always in a state of flux, and recent openings and closings show just how much.

The following is hardly a comprehensive list of the changes that have taken place in the last couple of months, but they should serve to give an idea of just how fluid the nightlife scene happens to be, and not just between the sheets.

Two of the longest established go-go’s on Walking Street, Paris and Carousel, both on Soi Diamond, closed their doors between June and July. Due to their perfect ground floor locations it wasn’t long before there was interest from various quarters in taking over the leases on these dens. Paris reopened in early September, under new management and ownership while Carousel is set to kick back into life as well in the near future after having apparently been taken on by the people who have Happy, Peppermint, Beach Club and, well, the list is getting too long to mention.

Not sure if anyone is taking much interest in other closed down places such as Mirage (Soi Diamond), the strangely tagged K Wonder Girls in Soho Square, at the southern end of Walking Street or the former Coyotee’s go-go site in Soi Marina Plaza. Certainly no one with a modicum of cranial matter is bothered with the former Wet n Wild go-go inside Center Condo, off South Pattaya Road.

On the main drag itself, the never-opened but incredibly hyped Pleasure Dome sits like a dinosaur looking for a master. It may prove to be a concrete reminder of what can happen when you try to swallow a T-bone steak while your jaw is only wired for baby food.

In time for the high season the Moulin Rouge go-go on Walking Street re-opened. Considering this only employs East European wallet emptiers it’s no great addition to the market. Just why anyone would bother with these over-priced, hard-faced women (although many do have very fit bodies) is beyond me, unless you are of Arab or Indian extraction and the thought of getting close to a white-skinned hooker gets the testosterone juices flowing.

Another joint not worth both­ering with, unless katoeys are your preferred bed partner, is Cat’s Place. Located in the lane between Soi Day-Night 1 and 2 (off South Pattaya Road) near the highly praised Bordeaux munching house, is Cat’s Place, which used to be a hideaway about a decade ago for the dancing damsels of the old Soi Diamond Gletcherkuss go-go. I wandered past recently and there was one forlorn looking customer sitting outside nursing a bottle of amber nectar, no music, and a crotch-itch of quite unattractive ladyboys sitting outside.

Pattayaland Soi 1 is now com­pletely bereft of lady go-go bars after the wrecking crews started demolishing the site of the closed Betty Boum (formerly Spicy Girls and Papillon) dancing den as well as the old Montana Hotel and the building on the corner with Beach Road. This has now become a 7-11 franchise while I must admit it does look as though some kind of new bar operation will open on the Betty Boum site, especially since the neon sign out front has yet to be taken down.

Further afield, the Blue lagoon coyote dance den didn’t survive at the back of the Best Friend beer boozer complex on Beach Road. It struggled as a go-go by that name and didn’t make any impact as a coyote dance club. The entire joint is now in complete darkness.

Down on Soi LK Metro in central Pattaya yet another attempt has been made to turn one of the city’s ‘black holes’ into a viable nightlife business. The Office go-go opened with a private party in mid-August. Formerly operating as a go-go under the name Memories, then by the strange cognomen Gorkle and lately as a coyote dance bar called Ice, The Office is operated under new management who no doubt believe they can succeed in a location where others have failed.

There are still 73 go-go bars across Pattaya, although 51 of these are in or around Walking Street.

So what changed? As mentioned above, the Paris go-go bar in Soi Diamond closed and then was taken over by new owners and re-opened in early September.

Apart from the dancing damsel line-up nothing seems to have changed. I wandered in early on a Saturday night and there were about 16 dancers in various stages of draped apparel, none of whom were much above average. The music was standard car alarm. Lolly water is 90 baht and lady drinks 120 baht. Paris will really need to lift its game to Eiffel Tower heights if it expects to again draw the punters in numbers.

Partners in crime: Stories about the short-term avariciousness of many Thai-run businesses in Fun Town are legion. Don’t worry about nurturing repeat business and regular customers, get as much as you can while you can and then move on to the next victim. OK, this attitude is not confined to just the Thais, there are plenty of foreigners who operate under the same business model, but thankfully many of them seem to eventually go broke or come a cropper in some other way.

A friend of mine who spends the majority of his nocturnal emission trading in Soi 6 recently was somewhat shocked when he discovered he had been ripped off the previous week to the tune of 300 baht. In fact, he is now of the opinion the rip-off has been taking place quite regularly at this same bar for some time.

Rising to the occasion: Just to change tackle from the above item, another disconcerting factor that has crept into the Soi 6 pot over the last few years are the number of places where the majority of knob fondlers are female but a ladyboy or two has managed to sneak into the frame. In the darkness of some of the joints it can be akin to finding a trapdoor spider in the beer esky if you haven’t taken careful note of the size, shape, and unusual bulges prior to inviting a damsel to your side.

Email: [email protected]

-- Pattaya One 2010-10-01

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a bit out of date (Cats), but its a big area to cover, so never mind...