Shopping At Asda!

[A. BOOZER]

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind

him, "My elbow hurts like ######. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine

sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it,

quicker and better than a doctor".

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda

He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for

the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid

heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, he decided to see if he could outsmart this machine. So he mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen.

He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the

results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never

get better...........thank you for shopping at Asda!

[mnoorsapl]

lol..