The wife and i have decided the time is right to start to try for children. My wife is 32 and i am 29, so the question doesnt really relate to me, but it doesnt stop me thinking about it. What if something happens to myself or my wife and our children have to grow up without us.

For the older members of the forum (say 50+) that have young children, did you think about what it will be like for your children growing up with quite a senior father?

This isnt a dig at anyone or their choice to have children at a later stage in life. I am just intrested to know if this was considered before having children.

The second question i have to ask is a bit more personal to my own situation. My wife has a daughter from a previous relationship to a Thai man. She is now 11 years old, and a truly wonderful little girl. I got the biggest lump in my throat when she called me dad. Even though she isnt my daughter through blood, i still consider her to be my daughter. She lives in Thailand with my wifes mother and father, and is very settled,and doesnt want to come to the U.K, even though she has been asked many times.

I am worried about how she will feel if we have children, i dont want her to feel left out but if she doesnt want to come to the U.K i am not sure what else i can do.

So the question is, are there any members out there that have been in a similar situation, and what have you done?

I have posted this in bedlam and not the general forum as i am hoping it will get more serious answers from some sincere people instead of some of the idiots that are in the public section

The wife and i have decided the time is right to start to try for children. My wife is 32 and i am 29, so the question doesnt really relate to me, but it doesnt stop me thinking about it. What if something happens to myself or my wife and our children have to grow up without us.

For the older members of the forum (say 50+) that have young children, did you think about what it will be like for your children growing up with quite a senior father?

Ok, I have no kids at all, so not sure what I am qualified to answer here but I suppose a senior dad is better than no dad at all, and on top of that I know lots of people with no dads that have done just fine with the Mum. Kids like adults have to take whats thrown at them in life and deal with it too.

BTW, I dont see how you having kids at 32 relates to the senior dad question? I kinda figure I will probably not have kids until later and it'll probably be around 35 yrs old before I really panic about it.

Regarding the other bit about your daughter calling you Dad, thats really cool. I remember another post from here ages ago that always stuck in mind when a guy was saying his step daughter one day took his hand for the first time whilst walking through the park and it brought a tear to his eye.

I'll have kids one day, when I grow up myself.

I miss my Kitty

She is sooooo cool, she was staying with me a while agao, we would walk (she in a pram) to the shops together everyday after work and I would say "Myyyyy Kit" she woyuld answer with "it" it ws like we were talking to each other. She is two in December.

But she asks for "bung" as she loves eating bred.

She askes for Naam mai?

Joke mai?(coke)

Nom mai?, meaning Kanom.

I miss her so much mate.

I miss my Kitty 

She is sooooo cool, she was staying with me a while agao, we would walk (she in a pram) to the shops together everyday after work and I would say "Myyyyy Kit" she woyuld answer with "it" it ws like we were talking to each other. She is two in December.

But she asks for "bung" as she loves eating bred.

She askes for Naam mai?

Joke mai?(coke)

Nom mai?, meaning Kanom.

I miss her so much mate.

Your not the only one that is missing someone special

My wife has a daughter from a previous relationship to a Thai man.

She is now 11 years old, and a truly wonderful little girl. I got the biggest lump in my throat when she called me dad.

You've got a lot more lumps to come Daley.

I've been taking care of my step-daughter for almost 16 years now. A few weeks ago I had to use her mobile to phone to my wife. While searching for my wife's number in her directory that were all in Thai, I came across the only English entry listed which was mine. I was simply listed down as "My Dad".

It probably wouldn't mean squat to some, but to me, I was brimming.

My scenario was different to yours. My step-daughter didn't want to go to England which then made my wife reluctant to want to go back with me. So I decided to live in Thailand.

Bought a house when an unfortunate situation arose and was then happy knowing that whatever happened to me, then my wife and kids would have somewhere to stay without worrying about finding money to pay rent every month. Also, it was one of the reasons behind having my Ma and Pa in-law stay with us.

Btw, both me and the wife were 31 when we married and now have another two kids of our own.

Regarding the other bit about your daughter calling you Dad, thats really cool. I remember another post from here ages ago that always stuck in mind when a guy was saying his step daughter one day took his hand for the first time whilst walking through the park and it brought a tear to his eye.

That guy still remembers very well to this day, that ocassion almost 16 years ago.

You guys are giving me a lump in my throat and I don't even have kids. I'll have to live vicariously through your experiences here for the time being. Great thread

Actually, I have a close friend from London who's married to a terrific lady, living in the NE part of the year (they just spent a couple weeks in Bkk enroute). She has 3 kids from her previous marriage and they just had a brand spanking new baby boy together-

Despite the fact he's treated like royalty in their village, his Thai sibs aren't feeling left out at all and love him to bits as well. Much credit going to his Mom and Dad for seeing to it all the kids feel loved.

Actually gets me thinking I'm missing out on the greatest life experience at times, despite the obvious challenges that must come with it. Kudos to Tuky, Daley, Gaz and families (and the many others out there) I'm truly envious

Don't worry baht&sold about no kids, you can always keep fish, reliable, easy to look after and cheap, and thats what I'm sticking to for the time being.

Daley , I was in a similar situation a while back that has now changed.

We got married about 8 years back , my wife had a son with her 1st husband , he died before his son was born.

Instead of bringing him to the UK when she first came over , we decided to wait until things were settled , job / house etc.

Then she became pregnant , we had a lovely boy , Tom. We visited Thailand each year , and Andy ( 1st son ) was being looked after by her other 3 sisters , didn't appear to keen to come to the UK , he was about 6 when we married. Things dragged on and about 3 years ago we brough Andy over to the UK for good. The 2 brothers get on great , he is doing brilliantly at school , expected to get 8 GCSE's , after hardly speaking English when he got here. I only wish we had brought him over sooner. But , as they say , life is what happens to you when you're busy making plans.

Some very touching stories. I am glad to see i am not the only one in this prediciment(spelling) keep the stories/comments coming.

Btw nice to see ya back on tucky where have you been hiding?