After The Big Break Up

[loong]

Credit cards are joint - I dont think you have legal recourse since accounts are jointly owned legally she can max out and you are both responsible.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In that case, is he legally entitled to only pay off his half?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

CC companies will go after who's most likely to pay even the wife's half....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

so if she is earning 25,000 per month, surely the bank can go after her?

[LoveDaBlues]

My Laywer is an a**hole, a prick and a jerk.

In other words, a great lawyer.

He is in Bangkok though. PM if you need a number.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds like my brother. And he's a dam_n good lawyer too.

Edited August 14, 2005 by LoveDaBlues

[Morden]

I am certainly not the best husband in the world: I work very long hours, I come home late and drunk sometimes after a night out with friends or colleagues, and I take after my father in being rather remote and aloof. If that's not bad enough I have had dalliances with a demimondaine on occasion, although *very* infrequently in comparison to most other married guys I have met, and I have never admitted to anything (and yes I feel sh!tty about that).

She asked to come back, I said give me all the stuff and we'll talk, she said no way because if she gives it back we've nothing to talk about. It's all a bit Catch 22, that's why I am looking at the legal options and asking advice now

Could it be that she is hurt or hacked off by your behaviour and is either trying to teach you a lesson or get to you to listen to her and change your ways? If you want the relationship to end, then do it decently and recognise that she has been your partner for several years. If you would prefer to give it another chance, allow her the bargaining chips, stop feeling hard done by and listen to what she has to say. Get a lawyer on the job now and you can say goodbye to her, your money, to either her or the lawyer, and the friends that you have made around her. You're in a life changing mood so think carefully.

[slackula]

Sounds like a pretty volatile relationship you 've got there. Are you certain that it's over. Doesn't sound like your wife is leaving you for a better situation.

Maybe try to u'stand wot she is wanting or missing.

In my experience, once you appoint lawyers, there is no going back, be sure that is what you want. My advice would be to wait a bit and calm down.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for the wise words, I did wait a bit (well over a month all in all before asking for ideas on a public forum actually), I know a month may not sound long, but the situation is not getting any better.

About the volatility issue, I am a fairly boring person, but we have now gone too far and there is too much "water under the bridge" to realistically have any hope of resurecting the marriage imho.

I agree totally regarding involving lawyers, that's why I have tried to suggest just about everything else: if I am going to lose money I'd prefer it to go to something useful rather than parasitical legal types.

FWIW (and this is personal) I asked her today how much it would cost if I wanted to buy my bike back from her (it's in her name), a cbr400 rr that I paid ~50K for. The answer was 75K or (and i quote) "the best sex I have ever had".

Neither are going to happen. I am through with this BS.

Thanks to all the people who responded here, I expected to get flamed with "sux to be you" type posts but there hasn't really been one. If any readers come to Patong then please PM or e-mail me; I'll buy you a beer!

[LoveDaBlues]

I think (possibly) you have neglected her, taken her for granted, and this is her (strange) way of reflecting that. I think she wants you back as crazy as it sounds......but she expects more of your time. Just my opinion I could be way off base.

[sriracha john]

I was waiting to hear about the "why" in her behavior and the detioration of the marriage... and it sounds easily traceable to your behavior.

What with "golf clubs", "focusing on work and staying late", "coming home drunk", and "butterflying" with other women, we can all hopefully get a clearer picture.

Any court settlement is going to be tough. When you have your lawyer, ask him about the rules on adultery in Thailand. Archaic rules perhaps, but still in everyday use. I doubt if you'll be able to win much if anything with so much stacked up against you.

Sorry to sound cruel or harsh, but as always there's always 2 sides in a divorce story. I do appreciate and respect your honesty and frankness.

Knowing your weaknesses and shortcomings at least shows you have the potential for change as I don't think most women would tolerate that type of behavior.

Best of luck to you...

[loong]

I was waiting to hear about the "why" in her behavior and the detioration of the marriage... and it sounds easily traceable to your behavior.

What with "golf clubs", "focusing on work and staying late", "coming home drunk", and "butterflying" with other women, we can all hopefully get a clearer picture.

Any court settlement is going to be tough. When you have your lawyer, ask him about the rules on adultery in Thailand. Archaic rules perhaps, but still in everyday use. I doubt if you'll be able to win much if anything with so much stacked up against you.

Sorry to sound cruel or harsh, but as always there's always 2 sides in a divorce story. I do appreciate and respect your honesty and frankness.

Knowing your weaknesses and shortcomings at least shows you have the potential for change as I don't think most women would tolerate that type of behavior.

Best of luck to you... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mind you , the judge, being in the higher echelon of society is almost certainl to have a 'Mia Noi' of his own!

[loong]

Anyway

It is really best that you go see a lawyer and discuss the best thing regarding your own personal situation.

Get what you can and get out. Don't let it drag on too long. Life's too short.

I had a legal problem in UK, dragged on and left the lawyers very happy, but more than a year of my life full of unneeded stress.

If the money doesn't mean too much to you and you are thinking of your principles, my advice is forget the money, forget your principles, get everything sorted as quickly as possible. Move on in your life and treat the experience for what it is, experience.

When things go wrong we can learn and we can grow, and then move on.

Don't dwell on things. A little bit of 'Mai Bpen Rai'

Stay happy mate

[mbkudu]

FWIW She is not a BG.

Yes, this makes all the difference in a woman. Maybe you should have married a BG instead.

[penelope]

golf clubs (I miss them the most )

As a fellow golfer I can empathise and feel your pain.

Might I suggest Blackwater for getting your babies back.

[qwertyuiop]

Credit cards are joint - I dont think you have legal recourse since accounts are jointly owned legally she can max out and you are both responsible.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In that case, is he legally entitled to only pay off his half?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No. They are jointly and severally liable for the debt. The CC company has the right to go after either party to recover the debt and it will have nothing to do with either ones financial situation or how much each one is earning. They can just take the easiest approach.

[spog]

FWIW (and this is personal)  I asked her today how much it would cost if I wanted to buy my bike back from her (it's in her name), a cbr400 rr that I paid ~50K for. The answer was 75K or (and i quote) "the best sex I have ever had".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If it's any consolation, you should be flattered that she thinks you are a 75,000 baht &lt;deleted&gt;.

That's impressive by anyone's standards

(seriously, keep your spirits up and you will eventually get through this just fine)

[OlRedEyes]

Sounds like she is doing everything as a shock tactic, to save the marraige.

Maybe its the only way she could find to get you to sit up and take notice?

Also sounds like you dont care too much....

[slackula]

I was waiting to hear about the "why" in her behavior and the detioration of the marriage... and it sounds easily traceable to your behavior.

What with "golf clubs", "focusing on work and staying late", "coming home drunk", and "butterflying" with other women, we can all hopefully get a clearer picture.

Any court settlement is going to be tough. When you have your lawyer, ask him about the rules on adultery in Thailand. Archaic rules perhaps, but still in everyday use. I doubt if you'll be able to win much if anything with so much stacked up against you.

Sorry to sound cruel or harsh, but as always there's always 2 sides in a divorce story. I do appreciate and respect your honesty and frankness.

Knowing your weaknesses and shortcomings at least shows you have the potential for change as I don't think most women would tolerate that type of behavior.

Best of luck to you... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There is always 2 sides, that is true. I posted about my shortcomings because I don't want to give a false impression. But, I go out with friends at most once in a month, it is really not a regular occurence. As far as the "butterflying" goes, my lapses over the years can be counted on one hand and I have always been discreet, and I haven't played golf since we moved to Phuket last November. I know that doesn't exonerate my sins, but hopefully it gives some perspective.

I think LoveDaBlues is probably close to the truth, and sadly now I think it may be time to pull the feeding tube on the marriage.

On a side note I'd like to thank all of you for your comments. The critical ones were well stated, polite and give much food for thought; some more navel gazing is definitely in order. The supportive ones were much appreciated, this is a traumatic and painful episode and the kind words helped a lot.

I was *extremely* hesitant about posting my very personal woes to an internet forum and thereby opening myself up to flames and trolls but you TV'ers have shown yourselves to be a cut above the rest. I salute and thank you all!

PS LMFAO at Spog I wish, ohhhhh how I wish

Edited August 15, 2005 by slackula

[impossible_me]

sorry to hear i dont have idea wiht your wife but she is shame girl ..

[mrbojangles]

Sounds like she is doing everything as a shock tactic, to save the marraige.

Maybe its the only way she could find to get you to sit up and take notice?

Also sounds like you dont care too much....

I was thinking the same, about it being a shock tactic on her behalf to try to save the marriage. Good luck anyway slackula.

[bakachan]

I dont know about the law in thailand but here in usa if the wife max's out the cards

you are both liable to pay it back. its worth a try saying the cards were stolen but if your

wife calls the cc company to check on why she cant charge any more or tries to

raise the limit, your screwed.

[Joey Boy]

Sounds like she is doing everything as a shock tactic, to save the marraige.

Maybe its the only way she could find to get you to sit up and take notice?

Also sounds like you dont care too much....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was thinking the same, about it being a shock tactic on her behalf to try to save the marriage. Good luck anyway slackula.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You two are comedians

[mrbojangles]

Sounds like she is doing everything as a shock tactic, to save the marraige.

Maybe its the only way she could find to get you to sit up and take notice?

Also sounds like you dont care too much....

I was thinking the same, about it being a shock tactic on her behalf to try to save the marriage. Good luck anyway slackula.

You two are comedians

Come on then Joey Boy, give us your valued summation, knob head. I have seen this type of behaviour before and it has turned out to be exactly that. It's when someone has done everything else that they can think of and out of desperation use it as a last resort. Have you never heard of suicide attempts as a cry for help. If you carefully read all the posts, in particular what the Op has owned upto doing and behaving, you might see a different picture. I'm not saying i'm right, as i don't know all the facts on both sides, i was just offering up a valid viewpoint. But pricks like you who throw in one liners, without anything valid to say, get up my &lt;deleted&gt; nose and i just want to blow you into a rather large handkerchief and flush you down the bog. Have a nice day.

[Joey Boy]

haha, so botched suicide attempts and robbing someone out of house and home indicate the same personal problems?? Don't make me laugh u looser..

I'll quickly quote an example of one of your informative posts below...

Bangkok, on sukh just past soi5.Its got about half a dozen dollybird stylists, costs 150bht and I tip 50. Had a couple of great hot dates out of it.Great place, great girls,and a fairly good cut.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And no bar fine

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I wouldnt have expected there to be a barfine either mrbojangles, but then again, I dont think hes talkin about your wife

[mrbojangles]

haha, so botched suicide attempts and robbing someone out of house and home indicate the same personal problems??  Don't make me laugh u looser..

I'll quickly quote an example of one of your informative posts below...

Bangkok, on sukh just past soi5.Its got about half a dozen dollybird stylists, costs 150bht and I tip 50. Had a couple of great hot dates out of it.Great place, great girls,and a fairly good cut.

And no bar fine

I wouldnt have expected there to be a barfine either mrbojangles, but then again, I dont think hes talkin about your wife

The quote you used from a previous post was in a totally different context to this topic and was a "joke comment made about a joke post". But that probably went way over your "no brain head".

As for your other comments, there's only one loser here mate and that's you. What's up, can't you string together a reasonable argument as to why you think the comments are &lt;deleted&gt;. I've also looked at some of your previous posts and can't find many that are longer than 10 words and those that are, you probably had help with. So, go on, give us all the benefit of your undoubted wisdom because upto now you've been about as useful as a one armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse.

Unlike you, i will refrain from commenting on members of your family, as they have nothing to do with it. However, in making comments about my wife, let's just say, i hope we never meet

[Tokker]

If it wasn't for the fact that Joey Boy is senior member, I would think ol' Harmonica, who got thrown out of the forum last week, is back undercover.

[siamsam]

Surely some forum rule breaking going on here?

[Boo]

play nicely kids, otherwise Auntie Boo will have to spank you.

[Morden]

play nicely kids, otherwise Auntie Boo will have to spank you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You're just encouraging some of them with threats like that!

[mrbojangles]

play nicely kids, otherwise Auntie Boo will have to spank you.

Oki Doki Aunty. All calm and relaxed now

[Joey Boy]

in making comments about my wife, let's just say, i hope we never meet 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

me 2.. but to be quite honest u'd have to be something your not to scare me, and I have better things to do anyway..

hasta la, u know the rest

[Boo]

enough now joey boy & mr bojangles, I can kick both your asses so there (pokes tongue out & chants; ner ner ner ner ner)