Girlfriend Doesn'T Ask For Money

[Wallaby]

Yeah but mine also squeezes my zits and blackheads. She's special.

[473geo]

And then there's those who will continue to traverse the high wire Mark, who develop new tricks to escalate the excitement, to hold the interest of those who matter, who having experienced the thrill will continually climb back and walk without fear, make a constant effort to be right there.........because they can......because they will not settle for anything less than the ecstatic highs they know can be reached.........those that will not be relegated to taking tickets at the circus door........

[Wallaby]

Then there are those that don't want to. Can't be bothered, don't want to spend the time. Are happy with what they have. I'm in a relationship but I don't begrudge others that just would rather not. Who cares, it has no impact on me how one choses to live. What is right for me may not be right for others.

I'm 47, never been married and have no kids. That was my choice and I am happy I have lived that way. I have a nice gf now, I am happy, it is likely we will marry but I'm not rushing, for me, marriage is something for the girl, I don't need it to show my comitment.

If someone is happy being married, good for them. If someone is happy playing the field, good for them. Both could argue the good and bad of both but in the end, up to you.

[TAWP]

<br />Usually those that use 'tirak' DID meet their girls in a less proper setting. Not because there is a cause and effect, but because less educated girls might not be fluent in English and use the word themselves to their 'man' etc.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

Me and my wife use 'honey' or 'darling' when we speak English, 'älskling' when we speak Swedish and 'tii rak' when we speak Thai.

I would say a better class marker is whether people say 'same-same' or not.

But you don't speak Swedish and then end the sentence with Tirak, or English and end in Tirak etc etc - that was the point.

If the full sentence is in Thai ofcourse the word used will most likely be tirak at the end too, but that goes without saying...

[StreetCowboy]

Good post, Mark. I agree.

As an old guy I ain't in it for love any longer. I WANT to pay the gals a fair price for their time. That way when the attraction (whatever it is) wears off then they or I can leave with no regrets.

They young-ns who believe that all love lasts forever are living in Dreamland. Occasionally, it actually happens, but not very often. I LISTEN to my "so called" happily married friends complaining. That goes for both the wives and the husbands.

You are a hypocrite Ian

You constantly play the self righteous one by claiming that you just let others to live their lives as they want, yet you claim that people in genuine relationships are living in a dreamland just because they don't share your sleazy values. What a great way to insult so many here, male and female, whom are happily married.

Just because it may be your experience it doesn't mean it is the same for everybody else. Although I think you know that already and you are just trying to justify your actions.

Read what I said, Moonrakers, not what you THINK I said. I've been around a lot longer than you and I've seen all the so called "good" marriages go sour... including both my own. And, I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. It just happens. Many people don't do anything wrong, it's just that very often they don't do some things right.

You don't know the meaning of hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does the opposite. Many Catholic and Anglican priests are an example of that. I've always stood by my values and I don't lie. Unfortunately, some people can't handle the truth.

What you are obviously saying is that by telling the truth and living by high standards is being sleazy. If that is the case then I'll keep being sleazy. In my world everyone gets paid for their services, they all go home happy and no harm is done to anyone. I don't need to lie to get someone into bed.

I've always had admiration for couples who stick together in a loving relationship for many years. But that is not the norm in today's world. There are lots of unhappy couples living in long term relationships. If they are doing it for their children's sake then more power to them. And, it you've ever READ my posts instead of making false assumptions, then you would know I'm basically an old fashioned family man with high standards. If a couple is truly happy for even 5 years then they are lucky people. Anything after that is a bonus.

So: one of your precepts is that because your two marriages failed, then everyone else's marriages are not particularly happy or that the happiness is not eternal?

I put it to you that because you and Mark cannot hold a marriage together, you are not well-qualifed to comment on the subject.

SC

Happiness is a funny thing, and vice versa.

[StreetCowboy]

Setting aside the pointless bickering and point-scoring for a moment (are we allowed to do that?)

and getting back to the Original Topic:

Would you give your girlfriend any less because she did not ask for money?

Your girlfriend may ask for what she needs; or what she deserves; or what she wants.

Or she may not.

In all six cases, why would you not give it to her?

SC

[mark45y]

Setting aside the pointless bickering and point-scoring for a moment (are we allowed to do that?)

and getting back to the Original Topic:

Would you give your girlfriend any less because she did not ask for money?

Your girlfriend may ask for what she needs; or what she deserves; or what she wants.

Or she may not.

In all six cases, why would you not give it to her?

SC

You must be reading a different post than me.

The OP said and I quote, “Should I be harsh and always expect the girl to pay for her parents?”

The answer is of course in Thailand, “yes.”

[StreetCowboy]

Setting aside the pointless bickering and point-scoring for a moment (are we allowed to do that?)

and getting back to the Original Topic:

Would you give your girlfriend any less because she did not ask for money?

Your girlfriend may ask for what she needs; or what she deserves; or what she wants.

Or she may not.

In all six cases, why would you not give it to her?

SC

You must be reading a different post than me.

The OP said and I quote, "Should I be harsh and always expect the girl to pay for her parents?"

The answer is of course in Thailand, "yes."

As you said in another thread, I think, you wouldn't pay for her mother, and I am sure you would not pay for her father, but I would expect her to pay for her parents with your money in accordance with one of the six precepts above....

Let's face it, when she puts her hands in your pockets, only one hand is there to play billiards...

SC

[RAZZELL]

no. not another one of these guys who thinks getting laid costs nothing..

I've been around and I have never known a woman who didn't expect some kind of compensation for sleeping with me. even if it was just a few hundred baht. sooner or later, they ask for money or they get their "cut" of your estate.

Amen!!!

Sigh.. What does your experience as an old guy with a young girl from a bar has to do with real life?

if i move to las vegas when im 60 and marry a 28 yo stripper. im not gonna expect anything but being used.

Everyone who moves to thailand for love has issues, if you cant find love back home it's because you're not lovable or you are looking for people out of your league.

Listen Fellaor MZ, I am one handsome man and NEVER had to look for a lady, they came to me!! I went to thailand because my wife died of cancer and I wanted a change in everything AND my wife was not a bar girl, she was a college educated woman and not as you say 28...she is in her mid 40's and someone who would not look twice at you, ok?(I'm sure)....send your picture and I'll send mine and let the people say...I have never ever gone to the bar side of towns in any place in Thailand and i avoided that crap. obviously you are one of themor the other L, the ones that make Falang a bad word in Thailand. What an idiot to assume something like that!...now we know why they say "stupid falang".....I am an educated and attractive man and you are stuck with that stupid stigma of every man that comes to thailand can't get a woman in his own country....well, I left because I had too many wanting what I had and who I am, and wanted more than I was willing to give there!........I wanted something different.....if you ever had a good wife and good everything, would not you be here making judgments on someone you know nothing about>????..........talk about stupid falang!!!..........

you are one of those that judge before knowing anything!!.....I can afford to live in both countrys if I please....can you?...or are you stuck in a hole in khao sahn road with your p-3 judging people.....no, obviously not....you';ve never even been to thailand because that is the attitude of many ignorant people that are just plain jealous of the fact that some can afford to do those things...sorry, bud or mz....probably a mz because I have heard that same sound from some women in the USA too....wow...jealous!!!....you definitly are a woman!!!!!!!....whatza matter? can't find a guy in your country because they are tired of your kind of talk??.and looks?..yep!!!

Wow...this guy believe's his own BS

RAZZ

Edited January 2, 2011 by RAZZELL

[StreetCowboy]

no. not another one of these guys who thinks getting laid costs nothing..

I've been around and I have never known a woman who didn't expect some kind of compensation for sleeping with me. even if it was just a few hundred baht. sooner or later, they ask for money or they get their "cut" of your estate.

Amen!!!

Sigh.. What does your experience as an old guy with a young girl from a bar has to do with real life?

if i move to las vegas when im 60 and marry a 28 yo stripper. im not gonna expect anything but being used.

Everyone who moves to thailand for love has issues, if you cant find love back home it's because you're not lovable or you are looking for people out of your league.

Listen Fellaor MZ, I am one handsome man and NEVER had to look for a lady, they came to me!! I went to thailand because my wife died of cancer and I wanted a change in everything AND my wife was not a bar girl, she was a college educated woman and not as you say 28...she is in her mid 40's and someone who would not look twice at you, ok?(I'm sure)....send your picture and I'll send mine and let the people say...I have never ever gone to the bar side of towns in any place in Thailand and i avoided that crap. obviously you are one of themor the other L, the ones that make Falang a bad word in Thailand. What an idiot to assume something like that!...now we know why they say "stupid falang".....I am an educated and attractive man and you are stuck with that stupid stigma of every man that comes to thailand can't get a woman in his own country....well, I left because I had too many wanting what I had and who I am, and wanted more than I was willing to give there!........I wanted something different.....if you ever had a good wife and good everything, would not you be here making judgments on someone you know nothing about>????..........talk about stupid falang!!!..........

you are one of those that judge before knowing anything!!.....I can afford to live in both countrys if I please....can you?...or are you stuck in a hole in khao sahn road with your p-3 judging people.....no, obviously not....you';ve never even been to thailand because that is the attitude of many ignorant people that are just plain jealous of the fact that some can afford to do those things...sorry, bud or mz....probably a mz because I have heard that same sound from some women in the USA too....wow...jealous!!!....you definitly are a woman!!!!!!!....whatza matter? can't find a guy in your country because they are tired of your kind of talk??.and looks?..yep!!!

I think mis-posted from the "Oh the lies" forum. So many of us are able to convince ourselves of our own bullshit.

It was only when a colleague asked me straight out, that I realised that the word I was looking for for so long was 'alcoholic'. I'm sure the word that XX is looking for is longer than four letters, but in that case, I can;t imagine what it is.

SC

[mark45y]

Setting aside the pointless bickering and point-scoring for a moment (are we allowed to do that?)

and getting back to the Original Topic:

Would you give your girlfriend any less because she did not ask for money?

Your girlfriend may ask for what she needs; or what she deserves; or what she wants.

Or she may not.

In all six cases, why would you not give it to her?

SC

You must be reading a different post than me.

The OP said and I quote, "Should I be harsh and always expect the girl to pay for her parents?"

The answer is of course in Thailand, "yes."

As you said in another thread, I think, you wouldn't pay for her mother, and I am sure you would not pay for her father, but I would expect her to pay for her parents with your money in accordance with one of the six precepts above....

Let's face it, when she puts her hands in your pockets, only one hand is there to play billiards...

SC

I think we area agreeing with each other. In Thailand the girl will pay for her parents. If she works she may pay for them herself or if she has a Falang husband he will pay for them.

Do I pay for my GF's parents is hardly the question but if you want to know, no. I pay for sex only. Have I ever paid a woman anything I wasn't having sex with? No. What they do with the money is up to them.

I pay them more money for good sex and less for bad sex. My wives seemed to think they got paid more for less sex but that was not true as far as I was concerned.

I realize you think I should not talk about marriage because I have had three failed ones but I really think if I had married a Thai woman the first time I might still be married. My Western wives could not wrap their heads around the mia noi concept. Perhaps in Thailand I would have only been married once.

[StreetCowboy]

8>< SNIP NESTED Q uotes Deleted ><8

QUOTE MARKY45 (apologies fabricatesd quote..)

I think we area agreeing with each other. In Thailand the girl will pay for her parents. If she works she may pay for them herself or if she has a Falang husband he will pay for them.

Do I pay for my GF's parents is hardly the question but if you want to know, no. I pay for sex only. Have I ever paid a woman anything I wasn't having sex with? No. What they do with the money is up to them.

I pay them more money for good sex and less for bad sex. My wives seemed to think they got paid more for less sex but that was not true as far as I was concerned.

I realize you think I should not talk about marriage because I have had three failed ones but I really think if I had married a Thai woman the first time I might still be married. My Western wives could not wrap their heads around the mia noi concept. Perhaps in Thailand I would have only been married once.

/ENDQUOTE

I am surprised that it took you three marriages to learn whatever you learnt, and since many people seem happy without learning that from their first marriage, then I will continue to discount your views on marriage.

To be honest, I don't think (in my happily limited experience) that marriage is about sex, though the converse may not be true.

sc

Edited January 2, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[mark45y]

8>< SNIP NESTED Q uotes Deleted ><8

QUOTE MARKY45 (apologies fabricatesd quote..)

I think we area agreeing with each other. In Thailand the girl will pay for her parents. If she works she may pay for them herself or if she has a Falang husband he will pay for them.

Do I pay for my GF's parents is hardly the question but if you want to know, no. I pay for sex only. Have I ever paid a woman anything I wasn't having sex with? No. What they do with the money is up to them.

I pay them more money for good sex and less for bad sex. My wives seemed to think they got paid more for less sex but that was not true as far as I was concerned.

I realize you think I should not talk about marriage because I have had three failed ones but I really think if I had married a Thai woman the first time I might still be married. My Western wives could not wrap their heads around the mia noi concept. Perhaps in Thailand I would have only been married once.

/ENDQUOTE

I am surprised that it took you three marriages to learn whatever you learnt, and since many people seem happy without learning that from their first marriage, then I will continue to discount your views on marriage.

To be honest, I don't think (in my happily limited experience) that marriage is about sex, though the converse may not be true.

sc

We agree 100% about that. Marriage is not about sex. Even Hugh Hefner says he has a lot less sex when he is married.

[Loz]

maybe i'm ready for marriage then, as i hardly ever have sex. and even then, mostly with my right hand.

[mark45y]

maybe i'm ready for marriage then, as i hardly ever have sex. and even then, mostly with my right hand.

You might already be married and just forgot. That used to happen to me all the time. Check your credit card statements.

[Chunky1]

It's always funny how the sex tourists have to clarify that they are "handsome" and how they don't have to pay for it, they just "choose" to do so, before blabbering on about the details of their experience paying impoverished women for sex.

[Wallaby]

Some of them aint so impoverished.

Funny the people that 'say' they don't pay for sex find it necessary to comment on how others live their lives.

I like hearing their stories, always good to listen about how others live.

Edited January 3, 2011 by Wallaby

[Chunky1]

It depends how many other handsome men she has in her Rolodex. But I disagree, these girls might see a lot of cash, but they blow it all on drugs, alcohol the occasional tattoo and their parents/relatives very fast. Rinse and repeat.

[IanForbes]

We agree 100% about that. Marriage is not about sex. Even Hugh Hefner says he has a lot less sex when he is married.

Not TOTALLY true, Mark, but certainly mainly true. For most males, sex is a big part of marriage, but other factors are more important. I miss certain aspects of being married, but it's a trade-off for loss in freedom. And, I DON'T mean freedom to have sex with other women. I mean the freedom to go anywhere I want at any time I want and stay for as long as I wish. I can go off in the wilderness to sleep in a tent beside a river and eat nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and apples. Being in love with the partner you are having sex with is usually better than having sex with some stranger who really isn't into it for anything more than the money. But, sex for money is certainly better than abstinence.

And, there is another factor not mentioned in this topic... the difference in outlooks between older people at the tag end of life as compared to young people starting out in a permanent relationship. We all want different things from a relationship and very few people have the same wants. When I was in my thirties I wanted a wife and family. Those would not be my goals as a man of 60 or 70. When I'm 80 my goals will change again... if I survive the Thai traffic.

[mark45y]

It's always funny how the sex tourists have to clarify that they are "handsome" and how they don't have to pay for it, they just "choose" to do so, before blabbering on about the details of their experience paying impoverished women for sex.

I am sure you are not referring to me because I never said I was handsome except for the first time I came here 40 years ago.

And I always pay for it. Not as much as you probably but neverthless there is an exchange of currency for services.

[Roadman]

Back on topic to the OP.

At where you are now the answer is not being harsh but being fair and have your "girlfriend" pay for her parents. Key word is girlfriend. She is not your wife.

At the point that marriage is intended then re negotiation of her parents needs (if indeed they are needy) is open. Again be fair and part of that fairness is what you can afford to commit to and afford to lose and walk away from with a smile on your dial. By then you have been allowed to play out your friend in planned long term committments - time to do recon, gather info and access.

[cardholder]

Back on topic to the OP.

At where you are now the answer is not being harsh but being fair and have your "girlfriend" pay for her parents. Key word is girlfriend. She is not your wife.

At the point that marriage is intended then re negotiation of her parents needs (if indeed they are needy) is open. Again be fair and part of that fairness is what you can afford to commit to and afford to lose and walk away from with a smile on your dial. By then you have been allowed to play out your friend in planned long term committments - time to do recon, gather info and access.

Surely it's a love affair - not a military exercise ?

[IanForbes]

Back on topic to the OP.

At where you are now the answer is not being harsh but being fair and have your "girlfriend" pay for her parents. Key word is girlfriend. She is not your wife.

At the point that marriage is intended then re negotiation of her parents needs (if indeed they are needy) is open. Again be fair and part of that fairness is what you can afford to commit to and afford to lose and walk away from with a smile on your dial. By then you have been allowed to play out your friend in planned long term committments - time to do recon, gather info and access.

Surely it's a love affair - not a military exercise ?

Roadman is right. It IS a military exercise where good strategy pays dividends in the long term basis. Know what you are getting into BEFORE the war... not after. That doesn't mean you can't be happy with the arrangement, because you can.

[globalhopkinations]

After 5 pages of reading this has been interesting and amusing. I suppose I'll add my 2 cents now,

My fiance after 2 years of dating does not ask for bht for her parents(parent dad passed bout a year ago) she has her own shop and makes her own money. Although I figure most of my money is hers and vise versus. When we went to visit her mother just after her dad passed the neighbor had asked for 5,000bht to help plant rice and after the crop would return the money and give mother some rice in return for the borrowed money. My gf said we would think about it, I figured why not it's 5,000bht and mom gets the money and some rice in return. First time meeting mom and had worried thoughts because she mentioned earlier about how can we be together because I'm 10 months younger(29), sense then mom seems to approve.

I trust my fiance so if she said she needed to help mom I'd see what we could do, as I'd do the same for mine. But this has yet to come up yet.

As for the old timers post's I've read I agree if I try and do not succeed in love/marriage I would and probably will have the same attitude feelings(have fun and live to the fullest of whats left, rent at least then you can tell them when to shut up and leave) just hope that day doesn't come.

great reading guys thanks for filling a boring afternoon

[mystwoodcol]

So many people think that all thai ladies only want farangs money

If a man is prepared to put in the time and avoid bar areas and low income earners who have demanding families that require money he will find ladies who have good jobs and support themselves well and don't ever ask for money.

If you find one of these ladies and stay faithful to her the chances of having a long relationship without being ripped off are good.

Quite right. I helped my wife improve her business and she now pays for all our bills, I'm a house husband! The in-laws work their modest rubber plantation and help us with money if we need it. There are exceptions to the money grabbing Thai wife if you choose carefully.

Hear hear I can only second that comment -so far down the track.

Good to hear a good Thai marriage story for a change.

I know there is more good people than bad ones

and follow the simple rules as you have stated

and you will have a happy life.

[4.real]

In 14 years of living in Thailand i'm still waiting for the first farang friend or acquaintance that tells me his lady isn’t after his money or is happy to go to work and contribute to paying the incoming bills.

It’s a fact that unless you buy them a business which many idiots do (mostly bars) 99% per cent of our tilacs wouldn’t bring shame on themselves with having to work for a living and put some money into the bill paying pot.

Are there any exceptions to that?

Let’s say i’ve yet to meet one.

M

My wife is [still] a factory worker.She works 11 hours a day for app 20 baht an hour and goes to school on Sundays.As you can imagine we see very little of each other.

I have a small pension and cannot afford to give her everything she NEEDS [not wants].

I have paid for repairs to her small workers house in Sri Racha.

She has 2 sons by her first marriage to a thai engineer who ran off with an 18 yo.bar girl.

I have nothing to do with their upkeep but give my wife a small allowance every month .

I will be very happy to see this good girl get my pension and house when I am gone.

[mark45y]

In 14 years of living in Thailand i'm still waiting for the first farang friend or acquaintance that tells me his lady isn’t after his money or is happy to go to work and contribute to paying the incoming bills.

It’s a fact that unless you buy them a business which many idiots do (mostly bars) 99% per cent of our tilacs wouldn’t bring shame on themselves with having to work for a living and put some money into the bill paying pot.

Are there any exceptions to that?

Let’s say i’ve yet to meet one.

M

My wife is [still] a factory worker.She works 11 hours a day for app 20 baht an hour and goes to school on Sundays.As you can imagine we see very little of each other.

I have a small pension and cannot afford to give her everything she NEEDS [not wants].

I have paid for repairs to her small workers house in Sri Racha.

She has 2 sons by her first marriage to a thai engineer who ran off with an 18 yo.bar girl.

I have nothing to do with their upkeep but give my wife a small allowance every month .

I will be very happy to see this good girl get my pension and house when I am gone.

If you don't mind me asking. How long have you been married? What is a small allowance?

[robblok]

So many people think that all thai ladies only want farangs money

If a man is prepared to put in the time and avoid bar areas and low income earners who have demanding families that require money he will find ladies who have good jobs and support themselves well and don't ever ask for money.

If you find one of these ladies and stay faithful to her the chances of having a long relationship without being ripped off are good.

Quite right. I helped my wife improve her business and she now pays for all our bills, I'm a house husband! The in-laws work their modest rubber plantation and help us with money if we need it. There are exceptions to the money grabbing Thai wife if you choose carefully.

Hear hear I can only second that comment -so far down the track.

Good to hear a good Thai marriage story for a change.

I know there is more good people than bad ones

and follow the simple rules as you have stated

and you will have a happy life.

My wive also pays her share of the bills i see it with other friends too. But these are girls who have at least had an education and are in the same age bracket as their partner. They also have their own job and freedom, its more or less like a western relation.

I pay a bit more because i earn more but that is only fair.

Just look for a girl in your own age bracket and look a while dont think with your small head. This way there is never a problem about money. She has her money i have mine we split the cost of the household. This way you know your gf / wife is not here just for the money.

[mark45y]

So many people think that all thai ladies only want farangs money

If a man is prepared to put in the time and avoid bar areas and low income earners who have demanding families that require money he will find ladies who have good jobs and support themselves well and don't ever ask for money.

If you find one of these ladies and stay faithful to her the chances of having a long relationship without being ripped off are good.

Quite right. I helped my wife improve her business and she now pays for all our bills, I'm a house husband! The in-laws work their modest rubber plantation and help us with money if we need it. There are exceptions to the money grabbing Thai wife if you choose carefully.

Hear hear I can only second that comment -so far down the track.

Good to hear a good Thai marriage story for a change.

I know there is more good people than bad ones

and follow the simple rules as you have stated

and you will have a happy life.

My wive also pays her share of the bills i see it with other friends too. But these are girls who have at least had an education and are in the same age bracket as their partner. They also have their own job and freedom, its more or less like a western relation.

I pay a bit more because i earn more but that is only fair.

Just look for a girl in your own age bracket and look a while dont think with your small head. This way there is never a problem about money. She has her money i have mine we split the cost of the household. This way you know your gf / wife is not here just for the money.

Robblok I am 65 what is my age bracket?

[robblok]

Robblok I am 65 what is my age bracket?

Your smart enough to figure that one out you just wont accept it. You like your life the way you have it and you don't call it love. You just pay for it and your happy so no harm done.

I don't preach to realists like you who know what they are doing but to the blind who think its all love an shove out loads of money on a monthly base.