Relationship With Thai Lady (Long)

[Kevin1908]

Hi. Could some Thai ladies comment on the following relationship problem that I have. A long post but you will need to know the history.

I was married to a Thai lady for 13 years. She left me 2007 and we were divorced in 2009. We have 2 kids live with me. Shortly after my ex wife left I went onto a Thai internet dating site and was contacted by many Thai ladies. One in particular I liked and I thought she liked me. Because she asked me I closed my profile. In Dec 2007 we met and got on very well and got engaged. I couldn't get married as the final divorce didn't come through until 2009. My ex wife dragged it out.

My g/f came to the UK for 4 months in 2008. I went to Thailand again in Dec 2008 and Oct 2009. After the final divorce in Nov 2009 my g/f seemed strange. I went to see her in Dec 2009 and the atmosphere at her parent's house was very strange. Something was wrong but I was unclear what it was.

I had been sending her cash as I am sure most farang b/fs do. She had asked for 2 million baht sin sod which was a problem, way too much and always a source of disagreement.

The last time I saw the g/f she started an argument about cash, as well as 2 million baht sin sod she wanted 3 million baht to help me sell the joint business although I had been very generous with the cash I sent. She also wanted a new Toyota Fortuna. You are probably beginning to think scam here, well I did many times I can tell you but at the same time she was great when we were together.

When I returned to the UK in Jan 2010 my ex almost stopped all contact with me. We never chatted on msn again just the occasional phone call. She never said that we were finished but I had guessed that we were. When I had been at her house I used the family computer. In the history I had seen an Asian internet dating site but shut it out of my mind. Now I looked and sure enough found her profile and it was active but stopped after I viewed it.

We had spasmodic contact for another 2 months but in April I finally gave up phoning her or sending emails as she never answered me. I was gutted that we should finish like this.

I reopened my profile and started chatting again but missed my ex g/f. One Thai lady did seem nice and we chatted often but I still missed my g/f.

In June I got an email from the g/f. My accountant had contacted her about my business. I emailed her back asked how she was but never got a response. In Nov 2010 she looked at my profile on the dating site. I sent a message but got no response.

In Dec 2010 I went to Thailand to meet the lady I hade been chatting too but when I arrived in Thailand I realised how much I still missed my g/f. I met the lady but I couldn't love her while my ex g/f was still in my mind so I told her how I felt. She was upset but understands and we are still friends.

I got a Thai phone and called the ex g/f and she answered because she didn't know it was me. She said that she was working in Viet Nam. My Thai solicitor phoned her trying to contact me not knowing we had finished. The g/f was asking my solicitor how I was. Seemed odd as she had broken all contact with me. I sent many emails to my g/f but I now know she read them. We did talk 2 more times on the phone before I returned to the UK and I was hopeful. When I returned I couldn't make contact for 2 weeks but then we had a long phone call. She seemed very distressed, almost like a good bye call.

I didn't talk to her again until today. After the call a few weeks back I realised I had to move on. I chatted to a Thai lady and liked her and she liked me. I never the less still missed the g/f and the new lady knew how I felt.

Last week the new Thai lady wanted to talk to the ex g/f. I was reluctant but gave her the g/f's email address. I said don't contact her she will be angry but this morning she saw the ex g/f on line and chatted to her.

I was woken up this morning by a phone call from my ex g/f and we chatted for a long time. I have been calling every day and sending hundreds of sms messages and she never responded. Now she was angry that I was chatting to another Thai lady. She said that she loved me and was upset that I was finishing with her. This after a year of virtually no contact. I have tried phoning her back but she want answer. The new g/f is now upset but understands how I feel. I miss my g/f but know that she doesn't want me despite what she says.

I have spoken to many Thai people and they are equally confused or say that this is normal Thai behaviour for a Thai lady. How can my ex g/f break off all contact but now say she loves me and blames me.

Having spent a year getting over my ex g/f I am back missing her again. Help me understand this? I am feeling as guilty as hell but my ex g/f broke off all contact. A lot of this smells of a scam so what was today's phone call all about.

I am very confused.

[transam]

I am not a lady but reading your story it seems you are the problem. READ between the lines. You were dumped cos no big wind fall, she is working and no other mug has come along yet so you chasing gives her hope of a lottery win. She doesn't love you, but could easily if her bank balance is propped up. Move on.

[GizmoBKK]

Kevin,

Take a step back. Re-read your post as if you had not written it yourself. Let's say you hear this story from a friend, and he asks you for advice.

What advice would you give your friend?

All the best,

G.

[Boo]

umm, what he said. sorry but you need to trust your instinct. the family & this woman see you as a cash cow. move on

[TheyCallmeScooter]

I read the entire 'story'. Just bored, I guess.

I could give advice. What would be the point. If this is a genuine story and not a trolling attempt, the OP is clearly not capable of heeding it. No one who is capable of doing something this ridiculous, could possibly be expected to be capable of understanding the Obvious....

Last week the new Thai lady wanted to talk to the ex g/f. I was reluctant but gave her the g/f's email address. I said don't contact her she will be angry

You give out emails for no reason? That's...unreasonably ridiculous. This has to be a troll.

If this is a genuine story OP, take a good look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are a man - you appear to have forgotten, at some point.

And at what point, did you forfeit your rationality?

[krading]

I pulled out when the 2 mil came up.

[MiG16]

lots have come on thaivisa to ask relationship advice. usually i havent got much to say on the matter.

but for the first time I will be telling someone what to do in their so called 'relationship':

move on.

there really is nothing in this for you.

all the best

[sbk]

And another piece of advice, don't give out people's emails to total strangers. Its extremely rude.

[Kevin1908]

I read the entire 'story'. Just bored, I guess.

I could give advice. What would be the point. If this is a genuine story and not a trolling attempt, the OP is clearly not capable of heeding it. No one who is capable of doing something this ridiculous, could possibly be expected to be capable of understanding the Obvious....

Last week the new Thai lady wanted to talk to the ex g/f. I was reluctant but gave her the g/f's email address. I said don't contact her she will be angry

You give out emails for no reason? That's...unreasonably ridiculous. This has to be a troll.

If this is a genuine story OP, take a good look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are a man - you appear to have forgotten, at some point.

And at what point, did you forfeit your rationality?

Firstly I am not a troll. Yes this smells of scam. thirdly if this is a scam what is it now it is apparantly finished. I didn't give her email to a total stranger. I have personal possessions at her house. The latest g/f offered top talk to ex g/f to arrange collecting them I gave the g/f the ex g/f''s email address then thought better of it. Couldnt agree more I need to move on. I would have liked some sort of logical explanation from the ex g/f. If that was fuc_k off you bore me then fair enough, if is was it was all a scam you idiot that is fair enough.

My view is that the ex g/f is a total fruit cake. She spoke for 2 hours on msn with the current g/f. Then 1.5 hours with me on the phone, 2 hours on the phone to the girl that I met in December then 1.5 hours again to me this afternoon.

Given up rationality. Well may be. I think that is was worth a second shot but I wasn't expecting this behaviour from the ex g/f. What I foolishly expected was fuc_k off and stop bothering me, that I did x y or z to piss her off, she found another b.f/mug. Given the crankiness of most women this seems very odd by their normal crankiness.

If anybody does have any valid comments fine. It seems that everybody on Thai Visa follow empty shallow lives, well may be, bar girls are cheap. But some of us are serious if stupid.

[Kevin1908]

I am not a lady but reading your story it seems you are the problem. READ between the lines. You were dumped cos no big wind fall, she is working and no other mug has come along yet so you chasing gives her hope of a lottery win. She doesn't love you, but could easily if her bank balance is propped up. Move on.

well lets think about this. I was sending her cash. She could have stayed at home with her family and kids but is now suck in Viet Nam for 3 years and not seeing her kids and family. Why spend the best part of 5 hours on the phone and 2 hours on msn discusiing this with me and two other Thai ladies. Doesn't vseem worth the effort og her behalf.

[Kevin1908]

And another piece of advice, don't give out people's emails to total strangers. Its extremely rude.

Did I miss something, who was the total stranger that I gave an email address to?

[473geo]

Kevin this is difficult for you, so ask yourself if you wish to be kept hanging around as an option, just in case you are prepared to come up with the wads of cash requested, because until such a time she will simply get on with her life. So if you have no way, or no intentions of meeting the demands, or negotiating, you must move on with your life too.

Sometimes in these situations a person will not ever know the real truth as to why the relationship did not work out, you may never know for sure, you must accept that is the way it can be.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Firstly I am not a troll. Yes this smells of scam. thirdly if this is a scam what is it now it is apparantly finished.

Couldnt agree more I need to move on. I would have liked some sort of logical explanation from the ex g/f. If that was fuc_k off you bore me then fair enough, if is was it was all a scam you idiot that is fair enough.

Given the crankiness of most women this seems very odd by their normal crankiness.

If anybody does have any valid comments fine.

If you're legit Kevin, then please forgive my fairly justified assumption otherwise. 'Scam' is an awkward word, because the world is full of manipulation always, endlessly, in every direction. You don't realise it but of course, you're manipulating her as well (or you'd like to). You might actually have scored a little gameplay 'win' without realising it, by bringing another girl into the mix.

Is she a no-good recipe for disaster that will ruin your life if you get what you want? My gut feeling strongly believes that would be the case. Scamming? Well, these things are more complex than that, especially when childish emotions are involved (on both sides, and I'm not having a go at you - anyone honest will admit to some childish sentiments of their own, expressed or felt on occasion).

A few comments:

• What she says and what is actually the case have no direct correlation to each other. There are many who would argue an inverse correlation exists - i.e. she said she's in Vietnam but that has no real relevance to her actually being there. And if she is there, for all you know she's with a new, 'better' prospect. To be honest, the most surprising thing about your story is that she wouldn't keep you 'live' all through 2010 - but I'm sure there's something you missed disclosing which explains her failure to do that.
• In fact, there's clearly a lot of missing information which would be required to make a more accurate assessment, but it doesn't matter really - the result is the result, and the specifics aren't that relevant.
• You're trying to place a very round peg into a very square hole when you're attempted to 'analyse' her behaviour. For example, you seem surprised that she would be disinterested for a year and then be nibbling again - why is this surprising? I can think of multiple reasons off the top of my head, and you should be able to as well. No matter the reason, they are all irrelevant. Don't lose sight of the fact that she - for reasons I'm sure would be evident with complete disclosure but which are irrelevant - was disinterested in you for a year. The fact that she's suddenly nibbling again could mean she's been dumped by her other prospects, or it could be as trivial as her not liking the fact that you're not still one of her prospects - or as pathetic as simply becoming interested again because another woman is. Which I'm quite sure, if you were being honest with yourself, you'd admit was the reason you gave the other woman the email address, with the instruction not to use it (lol).
• You should be completely shutting this down asap, before she gets to take a good old bite out of you.
• This is very normal behaviour for a girl / lady (regardless of nationality) - yes, it's a lot more prevalent in SE Asia, but this is literally childish games of selfishness being played here. You should be running as fast as you can in the other direction.
• You should be doing this for dozens of individually valid reasons; but the most valid of all to avoid her like the plague is the fact that she would attempt to manipulate your emotions by 'blaming' you for her year of disinterest. That's also not unique to Thailand, but very much a hallmark of the culture.
• It's unlikely that you'll ever fully 'understand' it but I hope I have given you a small insight into the realities of her mind. You're looking for logic and sense in a wind tunnel of impulse and frivolity and selfishness. There's no true logic or sense there, and yet...there is completely logical and sensical (if a bit dark and twisted) elements clearly present in her behaviour as well. Don't try to understand what she will never tell you - just assume the worst and you're likely not even close to the reality (i.e. the reality will likely be far worse than what you believe is the worst).
• It is natural to feel confused and tortured. This is because that's exactly what she's hoping for. If she can keep you in the angst of confusion and pain, she will have opportunities to nibble away at you. If she cannot, and you're not in pain because you understand everything (even if it's terrible - you'd get over it), you'd move on - no good for her. She will NEVER tell you the truth, not because she is or isn't hiding anything, but because your torture at not knowing is what she can exploit. You gotta make some big emotional plays here to get out of this one. It's not in our nature for something like this to end without closure - but if you think you'll ever get it, you'll keep trying to get that closure, and you will be...screwed!

I am not a lady but reading your story it seems you are the problem. READ between the lines. You were dumped cos no big wind fall, she is working and no other mug has come along yet so you chasing gives her hope of a lottery win. She doesn't love you, but could easily if her bank balance is propped up. Move on.

well lets think about this. I was sending her cash. She could have stayed at home with her family and kids but is now suck in Viet Nam for 3 years and not seeing her kids and family. Why spend the best part of 5 hours on the phone and 2 hours on msn discusiing this with me and two other Thai ladies. Doesn't vseem worth the effort og her behalf.

Neither of the above quotes suggest any understanding whatsoever about the realities of what's going on here. You'd be best off - and I swear on my life I believe this - simply not trying to make 'sense' of a child's emotional 'logic' and her motivations for the decisions she has made in the past, the present or will make in the future.

You need to trigger your exit strategy here mate, this shit could wreck you if you persist with the above (trying to logically analyse it all, and/or theorize).

Kevin this is difficult for you, so ask yourself if you wish to be kept hanging around as an option, just in case you are prepared to come up with the wads of cash requested, because until such a time she will simply get on with her life. So if you have no way, or no intentions of meeting the demands, or negotiating, you must move on with your life too.

Sometimes in these situations a person will not ever know the real truth as to why the relationship did not work out, you may never know for sure, you must accept that is the way it can be.

As hard as the above is to accept, it's the god-honest truth.

What may make it easier to come to terms with is the acceptance that even if you did come up with the ridiculous amounts of cash, that's not a 'solution' (lol). That's the beginning of a world of pain and hurt. You cannot understand the way their mind works - you come up with the cash, and another guy comes up with the cash, and another guy - all 3 of you at once - I'd bet something very dear to me (of which I only have a couple presently dangling) that....if she believed she could juggle it, she would accept all 3 and juggle it until she gets inevitably busted. But she'll have done quite well out of the charade until then.

Kevin, there is no more sympathetic person in the world than I am when it comes to knowing how utterly ridiculous the words "just let it go" can sound, in your situation. But if you fail to bite down on that stick and grimace through the pain of "letting go" (i.e. NO MORE CONTACT - 100%, not one single breach of this rule)...you're just flaying yourself onto a bed of sharpened coral.

And not to be too melodramatic, but you need to understand people die over crap exactly like this situation. I'll not insult you by pretending I could possibly have a clue regarding your thoughts on that, but just to point out that it's something that happens, and it's really that serious.

Good luck, with the shut-out...I'd wish you good luck, if you weren't about to shut her out, but that would be a wasted sentiment...because you'd need a lot more than luck to extricate yourself if you couldn't or won't listen to the Truth. RUN!! Fast.

[Kevin1908]

Kevin this is difficult for you, so ask yourself if you wish to be kept hanging around as an option, just in case you are prepared to come up with the wads of cash requested, because until such a time she will simply get on with her life. So if you have no way, or no intentions of meeting the demands, or negotiating, you must move on with your life too.

Sometimes in these situations a person will not ever know the real truth as to why the relationship did not work out, you may never know for sure, you must accept that is the way it can be.

I take the point that you raise. I have spoken to a few expats who themselves have been thought bizarre Thai behaviour and can't understand this one. Hanging around isn't an option but neither is spending the rest of my life say if only. I understand from talking to a few Thais that not giving reasons is a Thai trait.

This Thai lady has today spent the best part of 5 hours on the phone today talking to me and the lady I met in December and 2 hours on msn with the other Thai lady. Now come on. Would you invest that much of your time on somebody you dumped and didn't care for.

Personally I now think being a fruit cake is the most likely explanation so either way I am better off out of it.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

I understand from talking to a few Thais that not giving reasons is a Thai trait.

This Thai lady has today spent the best part of 5 hours on the phone today talking to me and the lady I met in December and 2 hours on msn with the other Thai lady. Now come on. Would you invest that much of your time on somebody you dumped and didn't care for.

Personally I now think being a fruit cake is the most likely explanation so either way I am better off out of it.

The whole refusal to even hint at a reason is a horrifically brilliant emotional trick; don't be fooled or listen to anyone who would suggest otherwise. On what level she herself realises the brilliance of that trick, it's hard to say but she is definitely playing that card consciously or subconsciously for one very brilliant reason: to keep you in an emotional, tortured angst...which traps you.

Thais play emotional cards better than any culture I've yet come across. They are brilliant at it. You need to ignore the words coming out of her mouth, and remain coldly logical. Her silence in the face of your demands for an explanation and her attempts to convince you that she left you because of....you = both the same strategy. She's gonna play you like a fiddle if you hang around. But it sounds like you've thought better of it.

Why would she spend all that invested time? Jesus Kevin, you state the reason in your assertion.

This Thai lady has today spent the best part of 5 hours on the phone... Would you invest that much of your time on somebody you dumped and didn't care for.

Apparently it looks like a no-brainer. 5 hours and you were already thinking she was genuine, half-ready to forgive her year of indiscretions (ones she'll never tell you about, of course). Hell, she might think she's genuine, but that will just be if she's brilliant at lying to herself in order to sell lies to others.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

**double post**

Edited February 6, 2011 by TheyCallmeScooter

[Kevin1908]

I understand from talking to a few Thais that not giving reasons is a Thai trait.

This Thai lady has today spent the best part of 5 hours on the phone today talking to me and the lady I met in December and 2 hours on msn with the other Thai lady. Now come on. Would you invest that much of your time on somebody you dumped and didn't care for.

Personally I now think being a fruit cake is the most likely explanation so either way I am better off out of it.

The whole refusal to even hint at a reason is a horrifically brilliant emotional trick; don't be fooled or listen to anyone who would suggest otherwise. On what level she herself realises the brilliance of that trick, it's hard to say but she is definitely playing that card consciously or subconsciously for one very brilliant reason: to keep you in an emotional, tortured angst...which traps you.

Thais play emotional cards better than any culture I've yet come across. They are brilliant at it. You need to ignore the words coming out of her mouth, and remain coldly logical. Her silence in the face of your demands for an explanation and her attempts to convince you that she left you because of....you = both the same strategy. She's gonna play you like a fiddle if you hang around. But it sounds like you've thought better of it.

Why would she spend all that invested time? Jesus Kevin, you state the reason in your assertion.

This Thai lady has today spent the best part of 5 hours on the phone... Would you invest that much of your time on somebody you dumped and didn't care for.

Apparently it looks like a no-brainer. 5 hours and you were already thinking she was genuine, half-ready to forgive her year of indiscretions (ones she'll never tell you about, of course). Hell, she might think she's genuine, but that will just be if she's brilliant at lying to herself in order to sell lies to others.

I don't she is genuine, I think she is a fruit cake. I would like to know how common this is in Thai culture.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

I don't she is genuine, I think she is a fruit cake. I would like to know how common this is in Thai culture.

Not a fruitcake.

Merely stunningly immature, a brilliant / silly child-lady. Likely unaware of her own power. Definitely couldn't care less about the impact of her decisions on those she deceives on a whim (or impulse).

How common is the above 'phenomenon'? Hilariously common, in Thai girls who flit about farang/s. Very common, in most girls across the globe (and a whole stack of guys as well, of course).

[TheWalkingMan]

"She had asked for 2 million baht sin sod which was a problem, way too much and always a source of disagreement.

The last time I saw the g/f she started an argument about cash, as well as 2 million baht sin sod she wanted 3 million baht to help me sell the joint business although I had been very generous with the cash I sent. She also wanted a new Toyota Fortuna."

Walk away, just walk away.

TheWalkingMan

[Naam]

I don't she is genuine, I think she is a fruit cake. I would like to know how common this is in Thai culture.

Not a fruitcake.

it's very clear who the fruit cake is!

[lannarebirth]

lots have come on thaivisa to ask relationship advice. usually i havent got much to say on the matter.

but for the first time I will be telling someone what to do in their so called 'relationship':

move on.

there really is nothing in this for you.

all the best

And that's putting it mildly. Futhermore it is my opinion that the OP should initiate a moratorium from these Thai based dating sites. He seems to not have the life experience or psychological makeup to protect himself from those who would cheat him.

The monetary and material requests are so huge in the OP, I can't help but believe the OP made his wealth a key talking point in his online exchanges. Thailand will not be for him.

[lannarebirth]

I am not a lady but reading your story it seems you are the problem. READ between the lines. You were dumped cos no big wind fall, she is working and no other mug has come along yet so you chasing gives her hope of a lottery win. She doesn't love you, but could easily if her bank balance is propped up. Move on.

well lets think about this. I was sending her cash. She could have stayed at home with her family and kids but is now suck in Viet Nam for 3 years and not seeing her kids and family. Why spend the best part of 5 hours on the phone and 2 hours on msn discusiing this with me and two other Thai ladies. Doesn't vseem worth the effort og her behalf.

I'll give you the same advice I give my children. Never try to put yourself inside the head of another person. Especially of a different gender, nationality and culture. It will drive you crazy and more often than not you will draw the wrong conclusions.

[lannarebirth]

I don't she is genuine, I think she is a fruit cake. I would like to know how common this is in Thai culture.

Not a fruitcake.

Merely stunningly immature, a brilliant / silly child-lady. Likely unaware of her own power. Definitely couldn't care less about the impact of her decisions on those she deceives on a whim (or impulse).

How common is the above 'phenomenon'? Hilariously common, in Thai girls who flit about farang/s. Very common, in most girls across the globe (and a whole stack of guys as well, of course).

I'd say Scooter should has got everything just about right.

[sbk]

And another piece of advice, don't give out people's emails to total strangers. Its extremely rude.

Did I miss something, who was the total stranger that I gave an email address to?

So your ex girlfriend was friends with the lady you gave her email address to? That was not clear in your post, in fact it rather sounded like the new woman didn't know the ex at all. If it were me and some guy I had dated gave my email address to a girl he was dating I would be most annoyed.

As for the rest, so you've decided she's nuts and that you are going to give up on her so why the need for advice? Or do you just want some kind of verification that you made a bad choice?

[Kevin1908]

And another piece of advice, don't give out people's emails to total strangers. Its extremely rude.

Did I miss something, who was the total stranger that I gave an email address to?

So your ex girlfriend was friends with the lady you gave her email address to? That was not clear in your post, in fact it rather sounded like the new woman didn't know the ex at all. If it were me and some guy I had dated gave my email address to a girl he was dating I would be most annoyed.

As for the rest, so you've decided she's nuts and that you are going to give up on her so why the need for advice? Or do you just want some kind of verification that you made a bad choice?

You said why did I give the email address of the ex g/f to total stranger. Who is the total stranger that I gave the email address to? When did email addresses become confidential data. If the ex has a problem with that then if she gives me some sort of rational answer I will not bother her. I am not after verification of making a bad choice, I am trying to understand Thai reasoning and if this kind of problem is coming. If it isn't and she is simply crazy then fine. If the insanely jealous Thai women are like this all the the time then fine.

I just wonder why you have such a downer on people trying to make sense of Thai behaviour.

[Boo]

why do these women need to speak with each other at all? Is it an ego boost to think they are all "fighting" over you? Very very odd behaviour on your & the new thai womans part indeed. Or is the new thai gf some sort of clinical psycologist who may be able to help your ex gf to decide whether or not she wants you?

[little_muppet]

ok here is a Thai view from me. its all about "losing face" ( as she talks to ur current gf)

that why ur ex try to blame u again after she didint contact u for awhile.

and please WAKE UP ! stop trusting those internet bride website. for me is hilarious, why somebody so desperate to have a foreign lover if there is no other intentions behind it. relationship it will come ,when it comes. if u chasing after or run after it, it will just look like wat u want it but actually lying to urself.

honestly ur kind of story i have heard alot. those who is not waking up yet always say " my gf is special, she is different , she isnt like the other girls " lol

peace:) :jap:

[kanapha]

As a Thai girl, I think: 1 she doesnt love you for sure but your money. 2 it is not because she doenst want to loose you but she just wanted you to feel guilty that you have new girlfriend.3 there is Thai proverb says " Ma huang kang" means dog doenst want to give the over-left bone that it ate, to anybody even the dog will not eat it any more.think and decide what to do by yourself. it is not the end of the world...

[TheyCallmeScooter]

And another piece of advice, don't give out people's emails to total strangers. Its extremely rude.

You said why did I give the email address of the ex g/f to total stranger. Who is the total stranger that I gave the email address to? When did email addresses become confidential data. If the ex has a problem with that then if she gives me some sort of rational answer I will not bother her. I am not after verification of making a bad choice, I am trying to understand Thai reasoning and if this kind of problem is coming.

I just wonder why you have such a downer on people trying to make sense of Thai behaviour.

Kevin, the reference to "total stranger" is not a reference to your acquaintances. You gave the new girl the email of a total stranger (the old girl), asked her not to use it.

I'd diplomatically suggest you first understand your own reasoning before attempting to understand Thai reasoning. I'd less diplomatically suggest that you not bother trying to understand the latter - I fear it will be beyond your capacity.

As a Thai girl, I think:

3 there is Thai proverb says " Ma huang kang" means dog doenst want to give the over-left bone that it ate, to anybody even the dog will not eat it any more.

It is likely that much of her behaviour can be explained by this proverb above. Hence my reference to "childish games of selfishness being played out".

It is also highly likely that your (conscious or subconscious) understanding of this human trait...was the reason for your giving the new girl the email of a total stranger, and then asking her not to use it.

[taiwangirl]

Not much to add to what others have said. This is a no-win situation for you. Your ex-girlfriend probably broke up with someone else, and knows she can always come back to you and you will welcome her.

The relationship with her is a cycle that will never end - you need to break it off completely or understand that her behavior (says she loves you, breaks up, says she loves you, breaks up, etc.) will continue to the future.