Thai Versus Hilltribes - Especially Shan

[Chiang2000]

Not sure if this is the right forum. If not, could it please be moved as necessary?

We read a lot about the mentality of Thai girlfriends/wives regarding money matters in particular. We also read of how bad most bar girls are when it comes to truth - saying anything to extract more for longer. But does anyone have any real knowledge of any differences between Thai and Shan girls? I ask because I am involved with a Shan girl at the moment and, on the surface at least, she seems to have a different outlook on money/family support etc. Any information on any aspect of Shan life would be appreciated as there is very little factual info on the net.

[BlueSmurf]

All peoples have good and bad in them....Not sure if bar girls thais are any different from gitls from the UK other than have better bodies...If prople vome over here and show girls money then yes they will want it.But what girl from thr UK will want to.marry you unless they could have a good future with you...Most men are older than the girls so the girls know you have lets say a expirey date...The test is to live with them for a year to find the faults.Most people cannot hide their true self for longer than that..Also she or you must be able to speak and understand the others laungage...As for one race or person being better than another get real people are people...

[Chiang2000]

Thanks for reply David. I fully realize that no two people are the same, and maybe I should have been more explicit in the original post. I am looking for general cultural differences between, in particular, Thai and Shan. My gf is telling me that she (and family) do not have a sin sod system and that I am not expected to look after an extended family. Help for her mother would be 'appreciated' (her mother is on her own) but is, I am told, minimal. If we do get even more serious she has stated that she would like some gold - this seems to be common throughout Asia. But as for full dowry and family support, have I just found a rare bird (sorry!) or are there general differences between Thai and Shan. That is, is this purely a one-off personal thing or are Shan less money-grabbing? Sounds awful put that way, doesn't it, but I think we must call a spade a spade! I am well aware that it is not my youthful vibrant personality that has attracted her!

All peoples have good and bad in them....Not sure if bar girls thais are any different from gitls from the UK other than have better bodies...If prople vome over here and show girls money then yes they will want it.But what girl from thr UK will want to.marry you unless they could have a good future with you...Most men are older than the girls so the girls know you have lets say a expirey date...The test is to live with them for a year to find the faults.Most people cannot hide their true self for longer than that..Also she or you must be able to speak and understand the others laungage...As for one race or person being better than another get real people are people...

[BlueSmurf]

Thanks for reply David. I fully realize that no two people are the same, and maybe I should have been more explicit in the original post. I am looking for general cultural differences between, in particular, Thai and Shan. My gf is telling me that she (and family) do not have a sin sod system and that I am not expected to look after an extended family. Help for her mother would be 'appreciated' (her mother is on her own) but is, I am told, minimal. If we do get even more serious she has stated that she would like some gold - this seems to be common throughout Asia. But as for full dowry and family support, have I just found a rare bird (sorry!) or are there general differences between Thai and Shan. That is, is this purely a one-off personal thing or are Shan less money-grabbing? Sounds awful put that way, doesn't it, but I think we must call a spade a spade! I am well aware that it is not my youthful vibrant personality that has attracted her!

All peoples have good and bad in them....Not sure if bar girls thais are any different from gitls from the UK other than have better bodies...If prople vome over here and show girls money then yes they will want it.But what girl from thr UK will want to.marry you unless they could have a good future with you...Most men are older than the girls so the girls know you have lets say a expirey date...The test is to live with them for a year to find the faults.Most people cannot hide their true self for longer than that..Also she or you must be able to speak and understand the others laungage...As for one race or person being better than another get real people are people...

Yes you are right give it time......They all want security one way or another.....Yes still its individual whether they or you think one tribe will want more from you than another.....time is the way forward and if you have found your life partner then good...also you will only hear mostly the bad luck stories not so many of the good ones.....Be careful do not show you have too much. do not buy property too quick if at all.A promise of a good life if not enough in other words a roof over the head food and you not beating them should be enough and yes one day a bit more....Sorry I do not know you but culture is one thing but the sub culture reality of what really happens is a better way to look at things.Lots of fish in the sea so try not to be too full on too quick....Good luck but forget about what they would want for a dowry you dont have to give much.after all a Thai probely would give nothing ..i'am assuming she has worked in a bar or the hostest industry if not then now she has been with you a Thai man would not normally want her.....Sorry but true...Give yourself time and learn to speak her laungage so you can understand her better.....have fun and be yourself but true to yourself unrequiented love is no fun..PS I'am happy married with 2 kids.Happy as larry...sorry if this answer was rushed...

[Chiang2000]

Thanks for that David. You have eased my mind somewhat - especially the fact that you state that you are happily married. All we seem to hear are the bad stories, yet my heart tells me that this girl is true. Softly, softly I guess. FYI, yes, she has been in a bar for a few months, says she hates it ( and I do believe her), but with her limited education she has few choices. I just hope that my heart is right because she is a very sweet girl. Thanks again for your time, I appreciate it.

Thanks for reply David. I fully realize that no two people are the same, and maybe I should have been more explicit in the original post. I am looking for general cultural differences between, in particular, Thai and Shan. My gf is telling me that she (and family) do not have a sin sod system and that I am not expected to look after an extended family. Help for her mother would be 'appreciated' (her mother is on her own) but is, I am told, minimal. If we do get even more serious she has stated that she would like some gold - this seems to be common throughout Asia. But as for full dowry and family support, have I just found a rare bird (sorry!) or are there general differences between Thai and Shan. That is, is this purely a one-off personal thing or are Shan less money-grabbing? Sounds awful put that way, doesn't it, but I think we must call a spade a spade! I am well aware that it is not my youthful vibrant personality that has attracted her!

All peoples have good and bad in them....Not sure if bar girls thais are any different from gitls from the UK other than have better bodies...If prople vome over here and show girls money then yes they will want it.But what girl from thr UK will want to.marry you unless they could have a good future with you...Most men are older than the girls so the girls know you have lets say a expirey date...The test is to live with them for a year to find the faults.Most people cannot hide their true self for longer than that..Also she or you must be able to speak and understand the others laungage...As for one race or person being better than another get real people are people...

Yes you are right give it time......They all want security one way or another.....Yes still its individual whether they or you think one tribe will want more from you than another.....time is the way forward and if you have found your life partner then good...also you will only hear mostly the bad luck stories not so many of the good ones.....Be careful do not show you have too much. do not buy property too quick if at all.A promise of a good life if not enough in other words a roof over the head food and you not beating them should be enough and yes one day a bit more....Sorry I do not know you but culture is one thing but the sub culture reality of what really happens is a better way to look at things.Lots of fish in the sea so try not to be too full on too quick....Good luck but forget about what they would want for a dowry you dont have to give much.after all a Thai probely would give nothing ..i'am assuming she has worked in a bar or the hostest industry if not then now she has been with you a Thai man would not normally want her.....Sorry but true...Give yourself time and learn to speak her laungage so you can understand her better.....have fun and be yourself but true to yourself unrequiented love is no fun..PS I'am happy married with 2 kids.Happy as larry...sorry if this answer was rushed...

[bangkokcitylimits]

Hill tribes are (more or less the only) interesting people in Thailand. They have culture, are used to hard working and surviving by themselves, they love nature and simple life and they are proud of their colorful traditions and independence, I really like them. Don't know much about Shan, my housekeepers are always Christian Kachin People from Burma and usually very good and helpful. If I'd ever choose a new partner it would probably be a Christian/ Laotian/ hill tribe or combination, as usually more developed, less hidden complexities/ mental twists then Thais in general, more self esteem/ self consciousness/ responsibility/ pride/ and logic sense etc. all that things. But it depends on the person, where did you met her (in a bar or in a church or library etc.) education and environment, her family and social circle. Get to know the person and the traditions first, what does the family expect from you etc. Some general information about Shan People http://www.surehope.net/

[DP25]

Shan aren't Hill Tribes, they're the same ethnic/cultural/language group as Thai and Lao. All three are very similar. Shan is their Burmese name, they call themselves Tai and Thai call them Thai Yai.

Burma can be a pretty bad place though, and they can have trouble here too, lack of education, immigration issues, exploited at work, etc, so she could have a very different outlook

Edited March 12, 2011 by DP25

[Chiang2000]

Thank you bangkokcitylimits for your reply, especially the link. There seems very little factual information on the net regarding the Shan compared to, for instance, Karen and Hmong.

I will take time to get to know her better. As far as family goes there appears to be far less required or expected of me than I understand is true with Thais in general. This is not intended as a criticism of the Thais, purely an observation. The biggest truism that you mention, as far as my understanding of her at the moment, is that she has far fewer hidden complexities. Maybe I am wrong but I guess time will tell!

Hill tribes are (more or less the only) interesting people in Thailand. They have culture, are used to hard working and surviving by themselves, they love nature and simple life and they are proud of their colorful traditions and independence, I really like them. Don't know much about Shan, my housekeepers are always Christian Kachin People from Burma and usually very good and helpful. If I'd ever choose a new partner it would probably be a Christian/ Laotian/ hill tribe or combination, as usually more developed, less hidden complexities/ mental twists then Thais in general, more self esteem/ self consciousness/ responsibility/ pride/ and logic sense etc. all that things. But it depends on the person, where did you met her (in a bar or in a church or library etc.) education and environment, her family and social circle. Get to know the person and the traditions first, what does the family expect from you etc. Some general information about Shan People http://www.surehope.net/

[Chiang2000]

My mistake DP25, I was only aware that most of the Tai Yai live in the same areas as the hill tribes... My apologies to both Tai Yai and hill tribes if I have offended anyone!

Yes, Burma has been a major factor in her life as the entire family has sought refuge in Thailand. Unfortunately, of course, they are not actually given refugee status. I am forming the opinion that it is simply her background that has given her a different outlook on life compared to most mainstream Thais, and that maybe I should just thank my lucky stars that she is how she is!~

Shan aren't Hill Tribes, they're the same ethnic/cultural/language group as Thai and Lao. All three are very similar. Shan is their Burmese name, they call themselves Tai and Thai call them Thai Yai.

Burma can be a pretty bad place though, and they can have trouble here too, lack of education, immigration issues, exploited at work, etc, so she could have a very different outlook

[bangkokcitylimits]

Shan aren't Hill Tribes, they're the same ethnic/cultural/language group as Thai and Lao. All three are very similar. Shan is their Burmese name, they call themselves Tai and Thai call them Thai Yai.

Burma can be a pretty bad place though, and they can have trouble here too, lack of education, immigration issues, exploited at work, etc, so she could have a very different outlook

Yeah that's right, the Shan or Tai Yai or “Great Tai” are not a hill tribe but a subgroup. They are as different from Thais as hill tribes are.

If you want to meet more Tai Yai people, in Chiang Mai at the north moat you can visit Wat Papau, one of the few historic temples in the city, next to the temple is a Tai Yai school.

Tai Yai girls are the most beautiful of Thailand !

[Chiang2000]

Thanks again bangkokcitylimits.

Tai Yai girls are the most beautiful.... I would have to agree with that one if my gf is any indication!!!

Shan aren't Hill Tribes, they're the same ethnic/cultural/language group as Thai and Lao. All three are very similar. Shan is their Burmese name, they call themselves Tai and Thai call them Thai Yai.

Burma can be a pretty bad place though, and they can have trouble here too, lack of education, immigration issues, exploited at work, etc, so she could have a very different outlook

Yeah that's right, the Shan or Tai Yai or "Great Tai" are not a hill tribe but a subgroup. They are as different from Thais as hill tribes are.

If you want to meet more Tai Yai people, in Chiang Mai at the north moat you can visit Wat Papau, one of the few historic temples in the city, next to the temple is a Tai Yai school.

Tai Yai girls are the most beautiful of Thailand !