How Do I Stand?

[lordsux]

Three nights ago I was seriously attacked by my "falang" nieghbor.

A quick run down of what brought about this situation.

About 3 months ago I had a flaming row with my girlfriend (non physical, I dont do that shit), when she goes, she goes! as do most Thai women.

This row resulted in her sleeping alone on his porch that night. (yes, on the porch) He told her that she should leave me, that she could get more money elsewhere and was generally slagging me off to her, he gave her 1000 baht and told her to leave in the morning which she did.

She calmed down and returned the next day after again realizing once again that it was her unjustified jealousy that had started the row.

This obviously caused a rift between my neighbor and myself, we stopped talking.

After about 2 weeks I thought that it best to repay the 1000.- baht that he had given her.

I told my girlfriend to take the money from my wallet and go pay him. Which she did, but came back in a state and everything was wrong with our relationship. He once again had slagged me off telling my girlfriend that I treat her as a slave, not giving enough money blah, blah, blah. Of she goes again but returns a few days later.

I must say that my girlfriend doesnt get 'big money' from me as we are trying to create a business together. (restaurant/bar/inet) I send 5000.- sometimes more upcountry each month. I pay for everything else and she doesnt go without. She as everyone else here apart from my nieghbor knows that im trying to give her something for the future. Yes, it is all in her name.

After a months or so without speaking to each other I decide to try and put a stop to the bad feelings and invite him and some friends over for dinner that evening. He accepted the offer and said that he would bring a pasta dish. Food is all ready, we wait to eat until he arrives...but he doesnt turn up.....ok <deleted> him then I think and leave it at that.

The next day I go to my mates bar and he turns up, I ask politely ask why he didnt turn up and he goes into a verbal spasm having a go at me so I tell him what I think of him (sad, lonely, jealous, impotent, tight old c**t that has wasted his life and doesnt contribute anything to the society that he exists in) we agree after this not to speak again!.

So, back to three nights ago.

Im pissed off with the whole situation and want to sort things out. Its dark so as usual when I go anywhere I take a bamboo cane with me becuase of the temple dogs and evt. snakes.

I get to his porch and try to ask him what his problem is and why he wants to make problems with my girlfriend and I. Before I can finish the sentence he has taken the thing that people make som tam with, jumped off the porch and whacked me on the head with it, my head split open and I felt myself falling, I grab hold of him and he hits again...this time I go down and he proceeds smashing my head with this club. I cant see becuase of the blood in my eyes, only feel what is happening, blow after blow and I think my time is up.

I manage to tell him to stop and that he will kill me if he doesnt. He's reply was "I want to kill you" and hit me full force on the forehead splitting that open. Now im out, but can still feel blow after blow crashing into my head, neck, spine in fact over the whole of my body.

I dont know what happened after this but apparently he was still clubbing me until my girlfriend arrived at the scene, this is when he finally stopped. I come round and manage to get back to my home and my girlfriend has no choice to leave me and heads for the village to get help.

He tries to stop her while holding the blood dripping club but she manages to get past him and gets help. Im taken to the clinic and get stitched up. The police arrive and say that we talk in the morning.

So we talk seperatly in the morning, I give my version, he gives his. The police believe him when he says that I went to his home in the dark and attacked him. And tell me that I cant do anything at all about this.

1. Becuase I went to his home.

2. Becuase there were no witnesses.

My girfriend was told by the police to shut up when describing what she saw and heard.

The man is crazy, he pops pills, throws snakes at people, pours gasoline in the pond to kill the frogs that drive him mad, this was after he had given up collecting them and throwing them over to the temple.

Even after the events of the other night he is still trying to speak to my girlfriend and stops and stares point blank at her when he sees her, this is making my girlfriend very nervous and scared, she doesnt want to leave the home and when in the home she locks all doors and windows.

I know that I shouldnt have gone to his house, but I didnt go there to fight and didnt expect him to half kill me. Counting the cuts and bruises he has hit me at least 30 times while I was on the deck. Im lucky to be alive for sure!

What can I do about this situation??....the only thing I know at the moment is that he is not going to get away with what he did.

[loong]

I would move house if I were you.

Why live where you are having constant hassles.

How serious are you about the girl?

I assume that you mean you are sending at least 5000 Baht per month to her family in the village? If so, and you are investing your money into a business (in her name). Then you are being more than fair. A lot of families survive on less than that.

If you Gf is arguing that you don't provide well enough and if she is so easily influenced by someone else, you should be deafened by the ringing alarm bells.

You may not want to hear it, but your relationship is probably doomed.

[MyNameIsFarang]

Have his legs broken.

[lordsux]

We are making the business at our home, so moving is out of the question.

Ive been with my girlfriend for 18 months and she knows that I do everything I can for her and she understands there is a lot of money being indirectly put over to her.

Apart from the occasional jealousy flip we have a good strong relationship. But when the flips happen they are explosive. Unfortunatly she was that out of it she listened to the neighbor that evening, had she gone to anyone else they would have told her to chill out and sort it out in the morning.

[The_Moog]

I tell him what I think of him (sad, lonely, jealous, impotent, tight old c**t that has wasted his life and doesnt contribute anything to the society that he exists in)

Send him a nice hand-written letter, explaining that you were talking about someone else. Then invite him around for more pasta.

[thaiflyer1]

The next day I go to my mates bar and he turns up, I ask politely ask why he didnt turn up and he goes into a verbal spasm having a go at me so I tell him what I think of him (sad, lonely, jealous, impotent, tight old c**t that has wasted his life and doesnt contribute anything to the society that he exists in) we agree after this not to speak again!.

Im pissed off with the whole situation and want to sort things out. Its dark so as usual when I go anywhere I take a bamboo cane with me becuase of the temple dogs and evt. snakes.

What did you expect to happen?............you had words in the bar agree not to speak then you turn up at his house after dark and with a bamboo cane.................maybe he was thinking about his own safety .

If he had come to your home after dark essentially armed what would you of done in his shoes?

I would consider selling up and moving elsewhere.

Also why would your GF sleep on his porch..........if your not violent with her then surely she would simply sleep in a spare room at your house?

Maybe your neighbour has designs on your GF himself?............certainly sounds like it.....JMO

Edited September 18, 2005 by thaiflyer1

[thaiflyer1]

I tell him what I think of him (sad, lonely, jealous, impotent, tight old c**t that has wasted his life and doesnt contribute anything to the society that he exists in)

Send him a nice hand-written letter, explaining that you were talking about someone else. Then invite him around for more pasta.

[Thaipwriter]

Three nights ago I was seriously attacked by my "falang" nieghbor.

A quick run down of what brought about this situation.

About 3 months ago I had a flaming row with my girlfriend (non physical, I dont do that shit), when she goes, she goes! as do most Thai women.

This row resulted in her sleeping alone on his porch that night. (yes, on the porch) He told her that she should leave me, that she could get more money elsewhere and was generally slagging me off to her, he gave her 1000 baht and told her to leave in the morning which she did.

She calmed down and returned the next day after again realizing once again that it was her unjustified jealousy that had started the row.

This obviously caused a rift between my neighbor and myself, we stopped talking.

After about 2 weeks I thought that it best to repay the 1000.- baht that he had given her.

I told my girlfriend to take the money from my wallet and go pay him. Which she did, but came back in a state and everything was wrong with our relationship. He once again had slagged me off telling my girlfriend that I treat her as a slave, not giving enough money blah, blah, blah. Of she goes again but returns a few days later.

I must say that my girlfriend doesnt get 'big money' from me as we are trying to create a business together. (restaurant/bar/inet) I send 5000.- sometimes more upcountry each month. I pay for everything else and she doesnt go without. She as everyone else here apart from my nieghbor knows that im trying to give her something for the future. Yes, it is all in her name.

After a months or so without speaking to each other I decide to try and put a stop to the bad feelings and invite him and some friends over for dinner that evening. He accepted the offer and said that he would bring a pasta dish. Food is all ready, we wait to eat until he arrives...but he doesnt turn up.....ok <deleted> him then I think and leave it at that.

The next day I go to my mates bar and he turns up, I ask politely ask why he didnt turn up and he goes into a verbal spasm having a go at me so I tell him what I think of him (sad, lonely, jealous, impotent, tight old c**t that has wasted his life and doesnt contribute anything to the society that he exists in) we agree after this not to speak again!.

So, back to three nights ago.

Im pissed off with the whole situation and want to sort things out. Its dark so as usual when I go anywhere I take a bamboo cane with me becuase of the temple dogs and evt. snakes.

I get to his porch and try to ask him what his problem is and why he wants to make problems with my girlfriend and I. Before I can finish the sentence he has taken the thing that people make som tam with, jumped off the porch and whacked me on the head with it, my head split open and I felt myself falling, I grab hold of him and he hits again...this time I go down and he proceeds smashing my head with this club. I cant see becuase of the blood in my eyes, only feel what is happening, blow after blow and I think my time is up.

I manage to tell him to stop and that he will kill me if he doesnt. He's reply was "I want to kill you" and hit me full force on the forehead splitting that open. Now im out, but can still feel blow after blow crashing into my head, neck, spine in fact over the whole of my body.

I dont know what happened after this but apparently he was still clubbing me until my girlfriend arrived at the scene, this is when he finally stopped. I come round and manage to get back to my home and my girlfriend has no choice to leave me and heads for the village to get help.

He tries to stop her while holding the blood dripping club but she manages to get past him and gets help. Im taken to the clinic and get stitched up. The police arrive and say that we talk in the morning.

So we talk seperatly in the morning, I give my version, he gives his. The police believe him when he says that I went to his home in the dark and attacked him. And tell me that I cant do anything at all about this.

1. Becuase I went to his home.

2. Becuase there were no witnesses.

My girfriend was told by the police to shut up when describing what she saw and heard.

The man is crazy, he pops pills, throws snakes at people, pours gasoline in the pond to kill the frogs that drive him mad, this was after he had given up collecting them and throwing them over to the temple.

Even after the events of the other night he is still trying to speak to my girlfriend and    stops and stares point blank at her when he sees her, this is making my girlfriend very nervous and scared, she doesnt want to leave the home and when in the home she locks all doors and windows.

I know that I shouldnt have gone to his house, but I didnt go there to fight and didnt expect  him to half kill me. Counting the cuts and bruises he has hit me at least 30 times while I was on the deck. Im lucky to be alive for sure!

What can I do about this situation??....the only thing I know at the moment is that he is not going to get away with what he did.

well we have your side of the story and i would love to hear his version of events also!

If i was the neighbour and you showed up at my house with a stick at night asking questions "looking pissed off" as you put it, then i may well be inclined to feel threatened.

I wont condone what has happened to you though, it sound's like this man is very dangerous. If you want to fight fire with fire then you can arrange some revenge for him. whatever you do would have to be pretty conclusive though...if you know what i mean .

If your bigger and better than that sort of thing though, you have to move. do it while your girl is out shopping.

Sounds like your girl is plain ungrateful, you support her and her family and this is not enough. I was in the same position recenlty until i took a good smell of the coffee. When it seems as though you do everythig you can to help.....they just want more, just greedy, needy beggars. they talk about face....they have no shame!

Find a better place to live and get your self a better class of girl.

All you need to do is rid yourself of the flotsum around you.

You sound like a decent chap, good luck with the recovery and your business and for fcuks sake get everything out of her name ASAP.

[bartender100]

Maybe he's not to happy about you opening a bar and restaurant next door,what do others in the village think of him,the Thai's I mean?He sound like a nasty piece of work.

[LivinLOS]

The issue is beyong being about your GF.. The issue is you now have a fued with a neighbour that has taken a physical turn..

I am rarely one to advocate violence but personally.. I would simply wait until no one is able to witness the situation and hospitalize him.. Take care not to hit him in the head where you can kill him but make sure at least a leg / arm or shoulder (collar bones go easy) are broken.. Make some friends with the MIB prior to this event if you havent already, if you can engineer him to your property all the better.. Have your clear 'you being attacked again' story worked out.. Make him be the one to think about moving once his leg bones knit..

Its that or simply b1tch up and move away.. This kind of situation will not improve..

Does have have any connections.. Thais that are liekly to up the anti or MIB that will take care of him ?? If he is as you describe an unliked farang the chances are nothing further will come..

Before I get branded as some kind of knuckle dragging thug, let me just say that I dont like or enjoy violence, have ionly been ain a few limited fights, will go out of my way to avoid conflict even if it is conflict I can win.. But this sounds very much like alpha male issues with possible female implications (what was she doing on his porch and do you really believe the 'porch' and 1000 baht 'gift' ???)..

[TRIPxCORE]

What an absolute nightmare for you. This guy sounds like he needs mental help. He was not justified in doing that to you unless you attacked him first which you say you didn't. His pre-emptive strike against you was totally uncalled for. Of course, as usual, the police sound like they are being their normal, helpful-selves. Perhaps he bribed them? It seems they are being awfully obtuse about it. It surely sounds like he has a thing for your girl too. You can't go back and try to hurt him because then you will cause trouble for yourself, possibly legal trouble. As much as you don't want to, you should move away.

How is this "farang" able to live in a house anyway? Foreign people can't own homes. Is he there with a Thai woman?

[loong]

The man is crazy, he pops pills, throws snakes at people, pours gasoline in the pond to kill the frogs that drive him mad, this was after he had given up collecting them and throwing them over to the temple.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We are making the business at our home, so moving is out of the question.

Ive been with my girlfriend for 18 months and she knows that I do everything I can for her and she understands there is a lot of money being indirectly put over to her.

Apart from the occasional jealousy flip we have a good strong relationship. But when the flips happen they are explosive. Unfortunatly she was that out of it she listened to the neighbor that evening, had she gone to anyone else they would have told her to chill out and sort it out in the morning.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

First of all - You want to run a Bar / Restaurant with this guy living next door?

I'm sure I'm gonna frequent a place where someone throws snakes at me

You say you have a strong relationship - You don't. I repeat, If she is so easily influenced by other people and allows another person to turn her against you, you have and will have BIG problems.

The business etc is in her name. Maybe one day the business will do well - bringing in lots of money. Someone WILL point out to her that as it is her business (no matter who put up the money), she should have a larger slice, if not all of the rewards. This is not a maybe - it is a definite. She has already proven that she will take on board anything that is anti you!

It will be Bye Bye Lordsux

You have been warned

[lovejoy]

is he any good at putting out fires

i think my pride would prevent me from moving

but if you dont its going to be very uncomfortable for you to remain living there unless you do something about it

if you stay you will have to stand up for yourself

if you dont want to do that move somewhere else

[taxexile]

But this sounds very much like alpha male issues with possible female implications (what was she doing on his porch and do you really believe the 'porch' and 1000 baht 'gift' ???)..

now we are getting somewhere .

[meemiathai]

Are these normal farang behaviors? The whole story sounds insane.

I would have thought this was a troll but, so many replies...?

And if this is true, I now know why!

[mpdkorat]

But this sounds very much like alpha male issues with possible female implications (what was she doing on his porch and do you really believe the 'porch' and 1000 baht 'gift' ???)..

now we are getting somewhere .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You might be right there?

The other thing that has been hinted at here is that he assaulted you on his property, after you had arrived after dark. He is on a winning wicket already. Thai's can do just about anything, justs so long as they are on thier property. Police will nearly always side with the resident of the property where the incident took place. For instance if you had got the upper hand in the fight you could quite easily have been in very hot water.

[The_Moog]

whatever you do would have to be pretty conclusive though...if you know what i mean whistling.gif

You know, you really should be careful of saying things like this on Thai Visa, you could get George into seriously hot water, especially if OP does now go round and brain the next door neighbour with a big stick.

Killing people is illegal in Thailand, even if done as a joke.

[thaiflyer1]

Thai's can do just about anything, justs so long as they are on thier property.

Except the neighbour is a Farang...

[thaiflyer1]

I would have thought this was a troll but, so many replies...?

No this guys no troll..........member since August 2003............all previous posts are "normal".

Moving may present a problem as he seems to live on a small island (Koh Phayam) off the Andaman coast.

I definately think there is more than meets the eye with the GF and the neighbour though.

[loong]

Koh Phayam

Isn't that where all the electricity goes off at 6 pm?

[Thaipwriter]

Killing people is illegal in Thailand, even if done as a joke.

[lordsux]

Just to let you know that this post is by no means a troll and that I have not replied the last few days becuase my internet connection is solar powered and its been raining the last few days.

I have not hidden any facts, what would be the point of posting here if I only post half the truth?

I feel physically better now than I did a few days ago and do not think there will be any complications. I also feel better due to the fact that my assailant has admitted the fact that he attacked me to a close friend of mine.

Im not so happy that he also told another friend that if my girlfriend had not have turned up he would not have killed me straight out becuase it would be too quick and that he would first smash every bone in my body and then finish me off. Nice bloke!! (btw he is 85 kilo, swims 5km a day, cycles at least 15km and fit. Im 65 kilo, cant swim, ride a moped and for sure not fit.

To the verbal I gave him in my mates bar, I am a person that if I have something to say to someone I say it to their face, unlike he who prefered to talk bad about me to my girlfriend with every chance he got.

I knew that some people would write that my girlfriend might have got the 1000.- baht for services rendered but that is not the case for sure. I can see his porch from my home and she slept there until about 5am and then came home to get some of her possesions, besides that, the man is in forced celibacy due to potency problems and although my girlfriend is sometimes crazy she is not unfaithful.

Certainly all this would not have happened if not for my girlfriends crazy jealousy but I do not blame her for what happened, I thank her instead for the fact that im still alive. Now I and others know for sure that his intention was to kill me.

Maybe TV is not the place to post stuff like this, (post moved?) but living on a very small island (4 falangs in the rainy season) it is hard to get some external views on this matter. The Thais here are a little split over the whole situation, some believe the story that he gave to the police is true, those that know me have a slight degree of uncertainty and then there are the gossip mongers that try and blow the whole thing out of proportion. This morning I heard that I caught my girlfriend in bed with him and started beating him in the bed ??? hmm!!!

I have a Thai "Shake hands and make up" meeting with the police tomorrow, I know that the smartest thing would be to follow the etiquette and do exactly that, but tonight as I write this I feel that I will not be able to do that.

The police do not know that he lied in the statement he gave them, and im not even sure I will tell them, despite the fact that my friend would stand forward and tell the police what he had been told by my neighbor...i.e. the truth! What could i gain?

I continue with my way of thought even though its been very hard the last few days, and that is: "Today is the best day of my life, but tomorrow is only going to be better" and a recent appendix to that is: "Time is the healer of all wounds, but can also be the creator of many more!"

Good or bad, I have read and thought about all the replies and appreciate the responses.

I wrote the above last night, today ive been blessed with sunshine which means an internet connection.

At 0930 today we had the meeting with the police, all parties were willing to drop the whole thing and thats what happpened, and I was even the one that said we should do the gentlemanly thing and shake hands.

The police now know the true story and hopefully no more incidents like this will happen on the island.

Sorry for boring you all with this, but I had to get it out.

Edited September 21, 2005 by lordsux

[sriracha john]

Thanks for the update, lordsux... and am hopeful that things will resolve.

As the last person to visit the island before the resorts all closed last season, I can attest to the fact that things can get quite screwy there... from the farang side AND the thai side. Lots of really strange stories regarding violent threats and beatings on both sides. It's a very beautiful and nice location, but just wonder if they inhabitants are up to the challenge of maintaining harmony.

[Mighty Mouse]

Now that peace and quiet has returned to your life, I advise you to sit down and re-assess your situation.

First, your girlfriend is so jealous of you, (maybe for good reason?) that she starts a "blazing row" that ends with her sleeping outside.

Jealous women never change, no matter how well you treat them. If her temperament is such that she engages in a screaming match with you, you can look forward to many more such confrontations in the future if you stay with her. You will put your business in her name, she will fly into another jealous rage and kick you out with nothing more than your toothbrush.

Any couple who have arguments should be strong enough to at least sleep together in the same bed that night. Usually by morning, all is forgiven and forgotten.

Second, your neighbour was protecting his property and himself. You were on his land with a weapon in your hand and you were uninvited. In this situation he had a right to defend himself. His mistake was that he took the 'defense' a tad too far and turned defense into assault. Perhaps he only shook hands with you because the police were present. He probably still hates your guts.

If you are the innocent victim in all of this, then I suggest you make some very important decisions about your future.

There are plenty of women out there, many of whom I'm sure you would be compatible with. There are also plenty of houses out there with nice surroundings and nice neighbours, and there will always be other opportunities to start a business.

Think about it.

[Thaipwriter]

aha!

I have just read the whole thread again!

first you called him a "impotent tight fisted &lt;deleted&gt;"

now you tell us he "is in forced celibacy due to potency problems"

I am very much surprised that he did not kill you!

I cant think of a better way to make somebody homicidal that to taunt them like that

You deserve what you got i think

[SiamOne]

aha!

I have just read the whole thread again!

first you called him a "impotent tight fisted &lt;deleted&gt;"

now you tell us he "is in forced celibacy due to potency problems"

I am very much surprised that he did not kill you!

I cant think of a better way to make somebody homicidal that to taunt them like that

You deserve what you got i think    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oh come on!! nobody deserves violence, although, as you say, it seems he did incite it.

It would be nice to hear the other guys side of things....very different, I bet

neighbours, dee dee dee di dee dum

[lordsux]

aha!

I have just read the whole thread again!

first you called him a "impotent tight fisted &lt;deleted&gt;"

now you tell us he "is in forced celibacy due to potency problems"

I am very much surprised that he did not kill you!

I cant think of a better way to make somebody homicidal that to taunt them like that

You deserve what you got i think    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Like I said in my previous post "I am a person that if I have something to say to someone I say it to their face" sure it was a bit strong but when someone is trying to ruin everything that you are trying to do it provokes very strong feelings.

Nobody deserves what I got, I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation. But i'll save up smileys in the event that you do.

[Kan Win]

[Thaipwriter]

"I am a person that if I have something to say to someone I say it to their face"

Nobody deserves what I got, I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation. But i'll save up smileys in the event that you do.

No need, I am not likely to be opening my mouth before engaging my brain in the same way you appear to.

**Hot tip: dont try this approach with too many people, being hospitalised

can be boring and is also expensive**

[TRIPxCORE]

aha!

I have just read the whole thread again!

first you called him a "impotent tight fisted &lt;deleted&gt;"

now you tell us he "is in forced celibacy due to potency problems"

I am very much surprised that he did not kill you!

I cant think of a better way to make somebody homicidal that to taunt them like that

You deserve what you got i think    

Thaipwriter, come on, that was just plain cruel man. It was totally uncalled for what his neighbor did to him. One should not attack unless they are actually attacked first. People just can't go out on a pre-emptive strike against everyone they think is going to attack them. That is a terrible assumption. You know what they say about people assuming things.