Typical Thai Buddhist Funeral

[TiTLOS]

Hello Everybody

Thai GF's father passed away at the weekend. RIP.

She is the only child, and is now consumed in trying to organize everything.

She has begun her 3 nights coffin vigil at the local wat. Obviously I don't want to press her too much at this terrible time, so can any readers advise what to expect in a typical Thai Buddhist funeral ceremony out in the sticks.

Thanks.

Edited May 16, 2011 by TiTLOS

[kunash]

hi, here is a link to a similar post in the Isaan forum. Hope it helps (though the post is more to do with cost)

http://www.thaivisa....illage-funeral/

Edited May 16, 2011 by kunash

[TiTLOS]

Thanks for the link Kunash,

there were some interesting bits there. Gambling! Dancing girls!

Of course at the back of my mind there was the thought of how much its going to cost me.

I will have to keep my eye on the card sharks!

[kunash]

found another link ( if you search for funeral, it will come up with quite a few results )

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/275280-thailand-funeral/page__hl__funeral

[PoorSucker]

This site is excellent.

thaiworldview

[TiTLOS]

found another link ( if you search for funeral, it will come up with quite a few results )

http://www.thaivisa....ge__hl__funeral

Thanks again Kunash, exactly what I was after -

I still cant get my head around the gambling thing !

[TiTLOS]

This site is excellent.

thaiworldview

Thanks PoorSucker

Good stuff, and photos!

But no mention of gambling?!?

[electrozebra]

I am a bit rusty on this but I'll try to remember.

There will be all the relatives coming round.

Flowers to organise. The food to be bought and cooked and dished out to all.

All the utensils will be gotten together, often from the local temple. Chairs and tables are often collected from the temple too.

Beer and whiskey will abound.

Yes, there will often be some gambling.

The monks usually do their vigil in the room with the deceased.

There is more of a party atmosphere too with many people staying until the early hours. Music is often played.

Dependin if the deceased is at home or already at the temple he will be transported often in an open coffin to the temple after the time at the house.

At the Temple itself, both times have been different for me.

Everyone sits and the monks do their chanting. They are given a small parcel of items (I forget what exactly - but they are available in most local shops in a yellow? string bag).

A large framed photo of the deceased will be evident and often many smaller ones too.

The coffin was carried on a carriage and taken round the actual crematorium several times with everyone following behind before being taken up to the fire room.

Photos of every stage are generally allowed and often welcomed by the family later.

I have no doubt missed a few point but that is a general idea of the two I have attended, though it was a while ago.

[zzaa09]

This site is excellent.

thaiworldview

Yes. All a bit glamourous and traditional - even if a greater percentage wouldn't be obligated to follow such demanding structures. There are alternative variables that cut down on time and cost.

[fabianfred]

As far as villages in the North of Thailand go, the villagers all pay into a fund, every time someone dies, then when it is their turn for a funeral the expenses are covered.

Edited May 16, 2011 by fabianfred

[sbk]

You don't say where you are located but the ten gazillion funerals I have attended over the years has seen no dancing girls at our local wat. Some of those customs will vary from wat to wat, the old Abbot allowed gambling at funerals but the new one doesn't. The theory behind it, I was told, was because the family wouldn't be all alone with the body at the temple -- they would have lots of people around.

Funerals can last from 3-10 days, usually around 5-7. The entire extended family pitches in to help, with food being cooked up during the day by the women and the men, (men typically doing the hard stuff like scraping and making milk from hundreds of coconuts) then the monks come in the evening when family and friends attend. After the monks finish sweets are served. Then, after this would be when the gambling begins if allowed.

The last day is when the final ceremonies take place usually late morning, everyone attends this one if they can, people iwll come and light incense and candles for the deceased and after the monks finish the body is moved to the nearby crematorium (people stopped having funerals at home when the crematorium was built although the Chinese Thai on the island will often have it at home) where everyone lays a match with a piece of paper on the body of the deceased (now out of the usually refrigerated coffin).

The family will toss out one baht coins wrapped in translucent foil, marked coins will receive a present (beleive this is a form of merit making and presents vary from very small such as a bar of soap to a blanket).

Once everyone is finished, the body is put into the crematorium, everyone cleans up and prepares for the final ceremony at the home, usually on the 7th day in the evening, when the monks come to purify (bless?) the house and family,.

The closest male relative will do all the merit making with the monks (IME)

Islanders don't have a funeral fund, instead, on the last day when the cremation takes place, money in an envelope is handed to the closest living relative, either wife, husband, child, mother, father and they usually give some small token, like soap or something. If its a close family relative or close freind we give a minimum of 500 baht (depends on how close) and if its someone further from 200-200 baht.

[PoorSucker]

This site is excellent.

thaiworldview

Thanks PoorSucker

Good stuff, and photos!

But no mention of gambling?!?

Last line on Page 2.

[TiTLOS]

This site is excellent.

thaiworldview

Thanks PoorSucker

Good stuff, and photos!

But no mention of gambling?!?

Last line on Page 2.

Oops! My mistake.

Have just gone back and checked.

I thought page 2 (and onwards) were the readers comments pages.

More good stuff there.

[lungmi]

There is no typical Thai Buddhist funeral . The rituals are different depending on the rural and ethnic traditions..

Animistic background, Chinese influence (firework and rockets), different interpretations of the Teaching of the Buddha by the local Wat.

Follow what is common use and don't think to much. Support your wife from heart and you will have no problems.

[lopburi3]

As said it varies but basically evening monk prayers where family and friends will try to attend at least one time and the cremation. There can be coin tossing to children of village at that time when everyone who can attends and normally there is some token given by family to those who attend and the gift blankets and such are divided among family and/or the poor. There can be live music. There can be gambling. Have not seen any dancing girls here in Central Thailand. Police take a blind eye to the normal gambling laws but Wat or family may not allow.

[lungmi]

As said it varies but basically evening monk prayers where family and friends will try to attend at least one time and the cremation. There can be coin tossing to children of village at that time when everyone who can attends and normally there is some token given by family to those who attend and the gift blankets and such are divided among family and/or the poor. There can be live music. There can be gambling. Have not seen any dancing girls here in Central Thailand. Police take a blind eye to the normal gambling laws but Wat or family may not allow.

I agree. It's not your business to understand all. Number one is to take care of your wife. You are an innocent baby in this melting pot of cultures. The only thing you can do is metta for your beloved one. Everyone will understand, never mind, but your wife is the Number One.

[ballbreaker]

I was wondering if there is a set number of monks that participate in the funeral ceremony or is the number set by the family?

Also concerning the prayer ceremony that takes place 100 days after cremation. Is it only a one day ceremony and how many monks participate?

[PoorSucker]

I was wondering if there is a set number of monks that participate in the funeral ceremony or is the number set by the family?

Also concerning the prayer ceremony that takes place 100 days after cremation. Is it only a one day ceremony and how many monks participate?

Depends on the wealth of the family.

How much money you can donate to the Wat.

[lungmi]

The jail of superstion, of money making wats.

I assisted to about 50 funerals the last 5 yaears (traditional doctor in a Buddhist wat, Tan Buddhadasa lineage). Most passing away people were my patients. (No bad doctor, only very old to want to die happily)

Rich family - bargain with monks for a good next good life.

Poor Family - short honest Cremation in the way the Buddha taught.

Poor Family - Luang Pho Kumjon and me gave money that a boy and a daughter could go for their studies in Chiang Mai after crematio0n