Sin-Sot, With A Twist.

[KRS1]

Youre in Thailand, pay the sinsod.

Give her 100k, which is the going rate.

Edited May 28, 2011 by KRS1

[Latindancer]

If the bride has not been married before, has no children, is well-educated, has a good career and stable family life, then this will be reflected in the amount of sinsod asked for.

Many Thais do not pay it, and given the particular lady's circumstances, I think none should be paid. She's mid-thirties, been married, has a child, and the mother has driven her into hospital from some kind of stress-related illness.

I think the idea in Thailand is that as you are taking over the child's upbringing, you are exempt from Sin Sot.

Besides, where is the cut-off point ? Would anyone be expected to pay S.S. for a 45 year old bride ?

I don't think she fulfils any of the criteria, except being Thai.

Edited May 28, 2011 by Latindancer

[EirikJohannesen]

Sin sod is a Thai custom - not a farang one.

Why should the farang do things the Thai way.? If the daughter wants to marry a farang, and enjoy all the financial benefits that usually go with it, then she must do it the farang way. Now if he were to be the beneficiary of the marriage then things might be different.

NO SIN SOD!

Are you from Pakistan? You sound just like all Pakistanis who immigrate to the West.

[cardholder]

Sin sod is a Thai custom - not a farang one.

Why should the farang do things the Thai way.? If the daughter wants to marry a farang, and enjoy all the financial benefits that usually go with it, then she must do it the farang way. Now if he were to be the beneficiary of the marriage then things might be different.

NO SIN SOD!

Are you from Pakistan? You sound just like all Pakistanis who immigrate to the West.

That could be construed as racist - he is probably a very good tailor.

[PattayaParent]

Sin sod is a Thai custom - not a farang one.

Why should the farang do things the Thai way.? If the daughter wants to marry a farang, and enjoy all the financial benefits that usually go with it, then she must do it the farang way. Now if he were to be the beneficiary of the marriage then things might be different.

NO SIN SOD!

Are you from Pakistan? You sound just like all Pakistanis who immigrate to the West.

Sounds the opposite actually, I guess you don't get many Pakistani immigrants in Norway.

[Wallaby]

OOPs..I am guilty of using that term but I certainly didnt mean any disrespect, so sorry if it ofended.

Calling someone 'second hand goods' and you didn't mean any disrespect, did you mean it as a compliment? And you didn't offend me, but you probably offended the more intelligent of the antipodean folks on this forum.

Do you realise you've used antipodean and intelligent in the same sentence? Nope, no disrespect and quite a common term down under. It is neither a compliment nor disrepectful, it's just a common term used. I don't think you would find many of us would bat an eyelid at it.

But then again, we are a weird mob.

Edited May 28, 2011 by Wallaby

[Mossfinn]

OOPs..I am guilty of using that term but I certainly didnt mean any disrespect, so sorry if it ofended.

Calling someone 'second hand goods' and you didn't mean any disrespect, did you mean it as a compliment? And you didn't offend me, but you probably offended the more intelligent of the antipodean folks on this forum.

Do you realise you've used antipodean and intelligent in the same sentence? Nope, no disrespect and quite a common term down under. It is neither a compliment nor disrepectful, it's just a common term used. I don't think you would find many of us would bat an eyelid at it.

But then again, we are a weird mob.

Yes I did, do you ever listen to Samran, although some might argue his Thai roots are more prevalent and Burnsie in the immigration forum, always on the button with his responses, although I believe he may no longer be responding in there.

However there are other common terms used through out the world, that are highly disrespectful, but hey they are just common words, like queer, nigger, whore, but hey why should we bat an eye lid regarding them?

[wandrinstar]

Wonder it hasnt been moved to Number Plates in the Motoring Forum.

[wandrinstar]

By the way, Sin Sod was introduced here by Immigrants, who now own te place.

[gburns57au]

By the way, Sin Sod was introduced here by Immigrants, who now own te place.

Wrong

[gburns57au]

Yes I did, do you ever listen to Samran, although some might argue his Thai roots are more prevalent and Burnsie in the immigration forum, always on the button with his responses, although I believe he may no longer be responding in there.

However there are other common terms used through out the world, that are highly disrespectful, but hey they are just common words, like queer, nigger, whore, but hey why should we bat an eye lid regarding them?

Heard my name mentioned

The term "second hand goods" is quite common in Oz to describe a woman who has been previously married or is an unmarried mum.

While not entirely respectful in a politically correct world, it is not really considered offensive in Oz. Most Aussies (women included) wouldnt bat an eyelid at its use.

Mind you.....this is a country where we call our friends "C***s" and our enemies "Mate" and all our women "Sheilas"

[blazes]

Pran is 36, has a 15 year old son and is a widow of 8 or so years. From a good family with land, business, condos and generally good jobs. For the record, I am 55 years old.

How much sin sod did the MIL get from the first marriage?

Why do so many farangs buy second hand ladies, can't you guys just find unspoiled ones?

Yes, I found a 36 year old virgin (certified by me), and she was earning 20k bt per month in a government job. By asking round and round the question of sin sot, she finally said that 700k would be ok, but her mother thought she should have 800k. Plus of course the cost of the wedding and gold.

I took my leave. But it was pleasant while it lasted. Some other guy, coming after me, is right now pondering whether to pay (how much?) for a no-longer virgin.....

[wandrinstar]

By the way, Sin Sod was introduced here by Immigrants, who now own te place.

Wrong

Prove it, who changed the Name from Siam to Thailand, not Etnic Thai.

[mikecwm]

I read out your story to my Thai wife this morning while we enjoyed our Saturday lie-in. Similar age difference between us as you have there. Here's her advice. Probably a lot more use than any you will get from grumpy old Farang guys.

She can see the MIL's position. She is losing face to her relations and neighbours - this is very important, and not to be underestimated if you don't want a very powerful enemy in your camp.

On the other hand, your girlfriend needs to stand up for herself against the (future?) MIL. It sounds as if she is having a very hard time doing that - which is extremely important if this scenario is to have a successful outcome.

Sinsod. Someone else pointed out that in Issan, it would be normal for a previously married woman to only receive around 30,000B. Any more is purely because the MIL thinks she has you over a barrel. (And because your a Farang).

So there you have it - your girlfriend is the key to this. She needs to stand up to MIL, tell her 30,000 is it, and then you can get married and all live happily ever after.

My wifes mother still thinks she has little girls as daughters (not the 47, 40 and 36 that they are now), so some reducation is obviously needed.

This takes time, but both you and your girlfriend need to help her reducate herself.

We're now at the point of asking MIL if she wants to build a house on our land (we have 30 rai, so she doesn't need to be too close).

She will have to pay for it to be built. The land she gets free, and we get to use her house in BKK when we visit there.

Life is full of give and take.

Good luck.

Edited May 29, 2011 by mikecwm

[frenchcaptainbob]

Double sin -sot?

Sounds similar to a case double pneumonia, both bring you down to your knees and both are something you want to be rid of.

My advice is; ask your future ever loving, ever caring mother in law if you may pay by how well this ever loving, ever caring widow with a child in tow performs, as this does appear to be a realationship based strictly as a business venture for this prize catch.

All I can say is; that if you decide to go though with this farce, then you must be absolutely desperate.

Good luck with your widow and all who sail in her.Dear Sir,

You are to marry a girl who is certainly not a Baby, a widow, dragging a son from her former marriage. The whole family, including herself are NOT in need of money.

Ti-Sod or whatsoever can be the rule here. They are not the LAW.

You pay or you don't pay. Your choice.

Would you come to pay, be ready you'll have to pay always more, til you go bankrupt or you pass away.

Despite what your blurred eyes may show you, this relationship is standing on money ONLY.

If the girl were 16, I would understand you should pay for her education. How old is she you tell me ?

There is a LOT of money in Thailand. That it's being dispatched a strange way IS NOT your problem.

You think you are in a LOVE affair ? You are in a scam, the National sport.

It's not only your file to deal here. If paying you make not only yourself a FOOL, you make all of us , Farangs, fools to them !!!

Suggestion: You take a return ticket to not far away in China, say Guangzhou. About 300 USD $. 5 star hotels at 30-60 USD $ per night. You drop and list your name at any WEDDING AGENCY, for free. You post a few adds in the main paper. You tout with girls at coffee shop, or other meeting places for University. You wear a board that you want to MARRY.

In one week , your eyes are going to open on a bright new future. Beautiful, respectable, educated, humorous wonderful ladies.

In one week you forget your MESS. Or is Thailand the only country in the world ?

When the ship is sinking the rats run away, to SURVIVE.

"There are no stronger chains that the ones you tie up yourself in ". Confucius

Capt. Robert A. Bertrand-Righi

[prakhonchai nick]

Youre in Thailand, pay the sinsod.

Give her 100k, which is the going rate.

It's not the going rate where I live.

Normal village price for a Thai man marrying a Thai girl, (16-22) is 40,000bt

Why should dual pricing apply with regards to weddings?

Sin sot is strictly a Thai thing.

Don't pay!

[anterian]

In my case mother was dead, the problem was a worthless older brother and family. I simply said chose him or me, she severed contact with him.

If your gf is so much under your mother's thumb that she cannot lead her own life, then you would be marrying a lifetime of problems. Stop thinking with your gonads and put your brain in gear. You are being blackmailed and the simple rule with blackmail is the more you pay the more you get asked to pay again.

[Sydebolle]

Get real. No sinsot in the first place.

If GF moves out, so be it; in her age she's no springbock either; the child an additional burden. And as far as the MiL is concerned, tell her to bugger off.

She has the experience and you the money. Over time during your relationship this will change, i.e. you have the experience and ..... oh well!

[Cuban]

What steps should you take? Bloody big ones in the opposite direction.

If you have to ask the question you are weak and will be put in place by your would-be future in-laws. Grow a pair and do the right thing.

[exbelg]

hahah, salon + crops, will she take out her fake nails before she goes into the fields

she has previous experience, but still need 6 months to learn her job ?

sounds like a troll

double sin-sod? marrying the <deleted> also ?

so funny 5555

[EirikJohannesen]

One thing is for sure, when your wife and MIL are talking together, they talk about something completely different than you think. I think your wife is just as interested in the sin sod. as the mother. Her problem is to get you to pay at least painful way to save the marriage. If you do not pay she will sure choose her mother over you. The only thing you can do is to agree on a price or travel to China as another mentioned.

[Gary A]

This is my second post regarding this Thread. An older woman, especially one previously married with children would not get sin sot. Sin sot is regarded as the practice of paying the parents reimbursement for raising their daughter. previously married women should have received sin sot the first time around thus there is no good reason to think they are entitled to receive payment again.

More importantly, an older woman demanding the payment will likely ALWAYS be under the thumb of her family. If the woman is not independent and mature enough to live her own life, she should stay at home and NOT get married.

[transam]

This is my second post regarding this Thread. An older woman, especially one previously married with children would not get sin sot. Sin sot is regarded as the practice of paying the parents reimbursement for raising their daughter. previously married women should have received sin sot the first time around thus there is no good reason to think they are entitled to receive payment again.

More importantly, an older woman demanding the payment will likely ALWAYS be under the thumb of her family. If the woman is not independent and mature enough to live her own life, she should stay at home and NOT get married.

Yep, I said this earlier.

The mum should be very happy the OP is taking the daughter AND baggage out of her way.

[Metapod]

married before, 30+ years old, and dragging a kid? Ain't no sin sot there son

Be a man and lay down the rules or continue to get fked in the ass by the entire family.

[SabaiBKK]

"Pran is 36, has a 15 year old son" = no sinsot whatsoever !! .... rich familly or not she is "used goods " sad to say, but if she doesn't get married to you she will never find a Thai willing to marry her and even less paying a baht of sinsot.

[electrozebra]

I am back. Back from the hospital and I have changed my mind. Now I want nothing to do with the mother for the forseeable future..

When Pran had the latest discussions with mother, I knew Pran had been taken to the hospital but I thought it was only stress related to the problems with mother and I expected her to be out soon.

When Pran phoned and told me she was in a 6 bed ward and had no visitors whatsoever while all those around her had family, I got in the car and went there. And that is where I have been for a few days.

It appears mother did not like the proposals Pran was offering one little bit. The discussion got heated and when Pran said she would not stop seeing me, this enraged her mother and mother physically assaulted her daughter, dragged her from the sofa and threw her out of the house. Mother told her to never come back either. I knew nothing of this until I went to the hospital and saw the bruise on Pran's face and the scratch marks on her arms where the fingernails had dug in as mother dragged Pran off the sofa and threw her out of the house. A neighbour took Pran to the hospital. She was treated for her injuries and also for stress. My understanding now is that the stress caused a flare up of an ailment related to her stomach - something to do with ulcer treatment and excess acid. Cameras were put down her throat. She was given 6 doses of morphine and is on medication for ulcers and excess stomach acid and is on meds to help her sleep. Also on a diet for the next few weeks with no alcohol, no pepsi / coke, nothing spicy and a range of other foods and drinks until the stomach problem settles down.

Not one member of the family, apart from her son, has been in touch with her since the incident. Not even a phone call.

This is crazy. It is all about 'face' for the mother. With one Aunty and one neighbour especially, continuously stirring the sh*t. The neighbour brags about her house and land her Farang husband has bought her and all manner of other comments. The Aunty stirring it all the time with comments about free sex with Pran and why I rent a house. Why I will not pay a large sum of money to marry Pran, buy her a house and land too. Yet that is not what Pran wants. She is happy.

I refuse to be forced into that situation of giving money over. The money I give, I give willingly and it is put to good use. There is now 12 Rai of land that is productive whereas it was doing nothing before. That and the fact Pran is now working has cut my expenditure right down. It is called making for the future. If the family are not happy with that, stuff them.

[Penkoprod]

While YOU may not want anything more to do with her mother, can you be sure your TG doesn't???

Blood is thicker than water, and all that.

I dont envy you one bit, but good luck. Hope you don't need it

Penkoprod

[sarahsbloke]

All Thai prostitutes brag to each other about how much their men give them and dis the others that don't get as much.

(often they just lie about being given money and they aren't getting any at all)

You need to get her away from the other pros.

She and you will be better off is the bloodsuckers never contact her again.

I don't know her mother or aunt, but seems they may have a history in the P4P business.

.... talk about free sex clearly indicates a history in prostitution.

Edited May 29, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[gburns57au]

By the way, Sin Sod was introduced here by Immigrants, who now own te place.

Wrong

Prove it, who changed the Name from Siam to Thailand, not Etnic Thai.

Actually I dont have to prove it.....you do Sin Sod traditions have been around for centuries

Siam became Thailand on June 24th 1939 by "cultural mandate" according to the Government at the time. What that means is that the Government believed that as most Thais were referring to the country as Prathet Thai, then that is what the country should be called.

[wandrinstar]

Its quite common for those who have been Had Over regarding Sin Sod to become Sycophantic to Thai Traditions that were never forced on a Ferang 35 years ago..The spread of Bar Girls {perhaps Spread is a bit non P.C.} has made it a Sign of Stupidity, that round some Ferangs neck.So now they defend it.