Age Gap - Younger Thai Wife And Older Aussie.

happydaze · June 3, 2011

... I found out her true age before we got married. I was a pissed off. What I ment by poor Isaan girl was I got a flogging once before on this forum because people just asummed I dragged a poor isaan girl from a bar to out back australia and made her a slave.. when it was not the case at all...I try to be spacific but no one wants to here your life story. Yes and I have read that some isaan girls do end up making more monry then doctors.. 
 If your life story is as limited, dull and tedious as mine, you're absolutely right there. And what's worse, it keeps getting longer... Like most of the posters here, I invent lifestories for the other posters, that I have to continuously adjust as they add still more unlikely twists... I had Ian Forbes down as an evil genius intent on taking over the world, until he posted photos of his flat in Chiang Mai; now I see him as an impoverished evil genius, fallen on hard times, but trying his best to pull himself up by his bootstraps back to world domination, never defeated and struggling cheerfully on. Like a cross between Attila the Hun and the Queen Mother. SC EDIT 'photos of' added 
 I'm no genius, and I don't believe I'm evil, other than trying to get a rise out of stuffy people (trolling) occasionally. But, I do like to show that people of modest means can enjoy life to the fullest. We all make choices in life and weigh one thing against another. Everyone wants something slightly different out of life. And, that changes as you get older. I see thousands of people who tie themselves to their possessions and don't see that they've actually put themselves in a sort of jail that limits their freedom. I've broken out of that jail, as have many expats I've met in Thailand. Very wealthy people are often too busy trying to maintain their wealth. They've actually put restrictions on their freedom. I have a lovely home on a hill in Canada. It is a home that I have sole title to and is paid for. All I need to do is maintain paying property taxes and maintenence. But, I don't even think of the home as mine. To me it is just my children's inheritance and I see it as no more than some place to store my toys. By toys I mean boats, a camper, a trailer, cameras, computers, fishing tackle, hunting and outdoor equipment and all sorts of material things like my big library of books, nice furniture and my paintings. It's all just stuff that my kids will have to get rid of when I die. I can travel where I want, when I want and most often with who I want. I have enough money to do that providing I don't go crazy. I can only sleep in one bed at a time and sit on one chair at a time. Anything more is extraneous and wasteful. I hate waste and always have. That is why a simple room in a clean hotel in Chiang Mai is all I need for 5 months of the year. It is the people I spend my time with that enrich my life. I can have a life in Thailand that would be impossible in Canada. But, there are things I have in Canada that I could not duplicate in Thailand. So for 5 months of the year I give up living here... <img src="http://gallery.fishbc.com/albums/album561/Back_of_home_1_Em.sized.jpg" /> To living in one room in a Thai hotel... <img src="http://gallery.flybc.ca/albums/album435/My_room.jpg" /> And, by surrounding myself with young people it keeps me young. So far I've been lucky enough to keep up with all the action. <img src="http://gallery.fishbc.com/albums/album215/Tex_1.jpg" />

nice life mate, I actualy love the look of your place in Canada. I have not traveled around that part of the world yet but have always had abig interest in doing so. I even had an Alaskan Malumute (not that that is canadian) its just that I like everything in north america, Indian culture wild life and wildernass.

happydaze · June 3, 2011

I took our neighbors 21yr old daughter and her 1 yr old son to the doctors when she thought he was sick as her husband was at work, I'm 51, watching farang shaking their heads as I walk with her was so funny... there really are some self-righteous dicks around and not just on TV

haha, you sound like my Old man. He loves taking my wife and child to the shopping centre. People always think the worst. Not one could evey walk up and say what a cute boy your grandson is. They just dirty old man.. be both my wife and dad think is so funny.. But actualy when people see me with my wife they can't wait to get a look at a mixed baby.

happydaze · June 4, 2011

I see many advantages to marry a young girl, it's much easier to influence her Western ways. A young girl is easier to learn new things and change her way of thinking. White lies, you have to get used to in Thailand, my wife has stopped completely with white lies because she is young enough to change. OP, wrote that it was ok with 13 years difference, but 17 was too much, but it's the same girl is it! Was she more childish after she told you she was younger than she is? <img src='http://static.thaivisa.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> I'm really happy with my 22 years younger wife. <img src='http://static.thaivisa.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

Yep your right, she is still the beautiful girl I first met. Your right the white lies are not to bad there so small, like when she drove through the garage wall and put a box in front of it then tried to deny she new anything about it.. She is not to childish really she is just young, its actualy me, maybe being a dad at 40 had made me grow up from the 39 year old going on 29 when i first met her..

Also it was only two weeks ago I was sure we where going to break up, but in that time she has adapted more westurn thinking. She has told me that she is tired of the guilt her family is putting on her about there poor lives, when she knows there just lazy. She has even gone so far to say thailand is backward land. So Hope fully in time she can learn more start a business and live happly here.

Thanks for the input..

happydaze · June 4, 2011

Almost 20 years older than mine. make me feel younger and keep me active. My worries are the little white lie and the met on line. Be smart and enjoy I never worry what others think, I live for me

Thanks Jeff.

Berkshire · June 4, 2011

17 years....that's nothing. Not a huge deal. 30+ years difference, then we need to talk.

kerryk · June 4, 2011

17 years....that's nothing. Not a huge deal. 30+ years difference, then we need to talk.

There is a magic age for women that transcends the boundaries of propriety. Once a woman reaches this magic age no one says anything one way or the other about the age of her partner.

Before that age people tut tut about age differences but afterwards people refer to the pair as a lovely couple.

Lets face it everyone has a sell by date if what they are bringing to the relationship is appearance and not cash, brains or celebrity.

In Thailand that magic age is 35.

The ladies know, after 35 it's any port in a storm and be glad to have safe harbor.

The truth of the matter in Thailand is (and almost everyone knows this) a 30 year age difference is perfectly acceptable if the woman is 35 and the man is 65. Or a 40 year age difference if the lady is 35 and the man is 75.

trisailer · June 4, 2011

Age has absolutely nothing to do with maintaining a healthy relationship. Character and compatibility are the only things that matter.

The problem for most men who marry younger women here is they do not properly evaluate the CHARACTER of the person they are deciding to have a relationship with. They also give little thought to compatibility factors like sharing a sense of humor, ambition levels, intelligence, and lifestyle. I'm not saying that couples have to be exactly alike, but there has to be a appreciation for the differences and the confidence to manage those differences with love and compassion.

My wife and I have a significant age difference. We both agree that we exceed each others expectations and the satisfaction that comes from that is empowering. It gives each of us the determination to stay happy and balanced.

Inf actuation is the thing that brings us together, but it cannot sustain a relationship. The factors that allow couples to maintain healthy, happy relationships haven't changed for millions of years. Interestingly, arranged marriages have a better record of success than those we chose for ourselves because the emotions are not driving it.

A drowning man will grab for anything he THINKS will save himself. The trouble is that if he grabs onto someone else who is drowning they both die. I see so many men who haven't learned how to swim well enough to save themselves and they drag someone else down with them. A drowning man will suck the life out of their partner. It is happening everyday here. Learn how to swim!

Edited June 4, 2011 by trisailer

happyrobert · June 4, 2011

... The factors that allow couples to maintain healthy, happy relationships haven't changed for millions of years....

Millions?

Sometimes I wish I could toss out statistics as carefreely as you.

But I guess I'm just a stickler for facts and integrity.

trisailer · June 5, 2011

... The factors that allow couples to maintain healthy, happy relationships haven't changed for millions of years....

Millions?

Sometimes I wish I could toss out statistics as carefreely as you.

But I guess I'm just a stickler for facts and integrity.

I made the statement, if you disagree do your own research and prove me wrong.

What we do know from written history is that it romantic love is a relatively recent thing. If you go back a thousand years most marriages were arranged. The study of native cultures shows that it is still the norm. Current research clearly shows that the factors that produce long term successful relationships are commitment to the marriage and compatibility. Arranged marriages were used to consolidate relationships in the community and they were arranged by the community elders who took the emotional factors out of the equation. Matchmakers still look at compatibility as a prerequisite for a successful relationship. The fools who come here and fall in lust and then marry someone that they know nothing about are as good of an example as you could find. I have 3 friends who fell in lust, married and now are very unhappy. They are stuck with women who they have very little in common with and no clue how to balance the relationship

The second most popular computer dating site asks members to complete what is essentially a personality profile which they then analyze for compatibility factors. I have done some analysis of my own to determine what personality characteristics I would be compatible with. I found that I respect integrity, ambition, intelligence, good humor, confidence and then beauty. Falling in lust and infatuation is a wonderful thing and I did it weekly during my first year and a half in Pattaya, but it is not sustainable. Most of the beautiful women that I was attracted to then were lazy and not very bright or curious about the world or happy. Great for a week or two, but they quickly wore out their welcome.

My wife of 5 years has the characteristics that I am attracted to and thus we have a excellent relationship. I am delighted with her and my choice to commit to her each and every day.

Feel free to prove me wrong.

brewsterbudgen · June 5, 2011

29 years difference (I'm 50, she's 21) for me and seems to be working well as we've been together nearly 2 years. And yes, she's poor, Lao and I met her in Pattaya. I'm amazed this is still an issue with some.

Edited June 5, 2011 by brewsterbudgen

Ianatlarge · June 5, 2011

Get yourself an older gf.

kerryk · June 5, 2011

... The factors that allow couples to maintain healthy, happy relationships haven't changed for millions of years....

Millions?

Sometimes I wish I could toss out statistics as carefreely as you.

But I guess I'm just a stickler for facts and integrity.

I made the statement, if you disagree do your own research and prove me wrong.

What we do know from written history is that it romantic love is a relatively recent thing. If you go back a thousand years most marriages were arranged. The study of native cultures shows that it is still the norm. Current research clearly shows that the factors that produce long term successful relationships are commitment to the marriage and compatibility. Arranged marriages were used to consolidate relationships in the community and they were arranged by the community elders who took the emotional factors out of the equation. Matchmakers still look at compatibility as a prerequisite for a successful relationship. The fools who come here and fall in lust and then marry someone that they know nothing about are as good of an example as you could find. I have 3 friends who fell in lust, married and now are very unhappy. They are stuck with women who they have very little in common with and no clue how to balance the relationship

The second most popular computer dating site asks members to complete what is essentially a personality profile which they then analyze for compatibility factors. I have done some analysis of my own to determine what personality characteristics I would be compatible with. I found that I respect integrity, ambition, intelligence, good humor, confidence and then beauty. Falling in lust and infatuation is a wonderful thing and I did it weekly during my first year and a half in Pattaya, but it is not sustainable. Most of the beautiful women that I was attracted to then were lazy and not very bright or curious about the world or happy. Great for a week or two, but they quickly wore out their welcome.

My wife of 5 years has the characteristics that I am attracted to and thus we have a excellent relationship. I am delighted with her and my choice to commit to her each and every day.

Feel free to prove me wrong.

I thought he meant that man had only been around for a couple of hundred thousand years as opposed to millions.

Wallaby · June 5, 2011

29 years difference (I'm 50, she's 21) for me and seems to be working well as we've been together nearly 2 years. And yes, she's poor, Lao and I met her in Pattaya. I'm amazed this is still an issue with some.

As long as it isn't an issue for you and your better half then nothing else matters.

kerryk · June 5, 2011

Get yourself an older gf.

Get yourself a taller gf.

JPPR2 · June 5, 2011

I always find these threads quite entertaining.

In the end it is very sad in a way. In your home country, threads like this do not exist. There is a reason why.

The simple fact is that people come on here to justify their decision to be with a girl half(or more) their age and look for moral support from the others doing the same. If you were HONESTLY HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with your decision you would not be posting this question on any website looking for validation. Time to look in the mirror.

kerryk · June 5, 2011

I always find these threads quite entertaining.

In the end it is very sad in a way. In your home country, threads like this do not exist. There is a reason why.

The simple fact is that people come on here to justify their decision to be with a girl half(or more) their age and look for moral support from the others doing the same. If you were HONESTLY HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with your decision you would not be posting this question on any website looking for validation. Time to look in the mirror.

I guess you didn't read all the posts. I came to Thailand to get away from a 25 year old woman in the States and found a lovely older woman, 35 in Thailand.

I think topics like this would be a topic of Western forums but I don't know of any forums that are 95% male and straight in the West. Do you know of any forums in the West that discuss marital or dating problems with a bunch of guys both single and married of all ages? I think Thai Visa is a one of a kind. Tell me if I am wrong.

EirikJohannesen · June 5, 2011

I always find these threads quite entertaining.

In the end it is very sad in a way. In your home country, threads like this do not exist. There is a reason why.

The simple fact is that people come on here to justify their decision to be with a girl half(or more) their age and look for moral support from the others doing the same. If you were HONESTLY HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with your decision you would not be posting this question on any website looking for validation. Time to look in the mirror.

That was pathetically written, post like this are all over the world. Large Age Differences exist in all countries.

This post to OP can actually save a relationship, here he gets support and see that he is not alone in a difficult situation.

maoro · June 5, 2011

I am an Aussie 58 and my thai wife 31.

She is very mature and was really head of the family (everyone in the family including aunties etc asks her for advice) as her father died 7 years ago.

I am very happy after three years and I don't care what anyone else says. I suggest you do the same.

StreetCowboy · June 5, 2011

I am an Aussie 58 and my thai wife 31.

She is very mature and was really head of the family (everyone in the family including aunties etc asks her for advice) as her father died 7 years ago.

I am very happy after three years and I don't care what anyone else says. I suggest you do the same.

Send the contact details and I'll ask her for advice.

SC

Edit: Just joking - as if I'd ever listen to advice...

David006 · June 5, 2011

17 years....that's nothing. Not a huge deal. 30+ years difference, then we need to talk.

There is a magic age for women that transcends the boundaries of propriety. Once a woman reaches this magic age no one says anything one way or the other about the age of her partner.

Before that age people tut tut about age differences but afterwards people refer to the pair as a lovely couple.

Lets face it everyone has a sell by date if what they are bringing to the relationship is appearance and not cash, brains or celebrity.

In Thailand that magic age is 35.

The ladies know, after 35 it's any port in a storm and be glad to have safe harbor.

The truth of the matter in Thailand is (and almost everyone knows this) a 30 year age difference is perfectly acceptable if the woman is 35 and the man is 65. Or a 40 year age difference if the lady is 35 and the man is 75.

5555 yes my wife told me once that she thought she was left on the platform after the 'farang" train had gone once she got to 35...

... Then along comes this old steam train saying "I think I can...."..lol ( my words)

JPPR2 · June 5, 2011

I always find these threads quite entertaining.

In the end it is very sad in a way. In your home country, threads like this do not exist. There is a reason why.

The simple fact is that people come on here to justify their decision to be with a girl half(or more) their age and look for moral support from the others doing the same. If you were HONESTLY HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with your decision you would not be posting this question on any website looking for validation. Time to look in the mirror.

I guess you didn't read all the posts. I came to Thailand to get away from a 25 year old woman in the States and found a lovely older woman, 35 in Thailand.

I think topics like this would be a topic of Western forums but I don't know of any forums that are 95% male and straight in the West. Do you know of any forums in the West that discuss marital or dating problems with a bunch of guys both single and married of all ages? I think Thai Visa is a one of a kind. Tell me if I am wrong.

JPPR2 · June 5, 2011

I suppose there are sites if you Google. There are forums for everything in every country.

I am just saying, looking for validation on an internet forum is odd. You have a bunch of posters using alias names who at the end of the day are going to make you feel like you are on a roller coaster ride. Most threads end up 50/50 on a question like this. So what do you then, believe the 50% that supported you or take into consideration the 50% that did not.? In the end you accomplished very little but air your insecurities or try to find reassurance on your decision.

The answer is with you. If you have to ask this question about age then you must be living with a level of guilt and insecurity, am I right? This was not about helping a relationship going bad, this was about age...PERIOD.

Why sugar coat it and be PC?. The fact of the matter, this is and always will be a huge social debate. No one wins. Is there a perfect age gap? NOPE....Is there a responsible age gap? You tell me.

Thailand, along with a few other SE Asian countries, are viewed by the world where old men who are lost souls come and eventually date or marry a women 20, 30, 40 years younger them. Heck there are even books about it. Internet marriage sites galore. "Buy a bride". Some even go off grid and "Buy" teenagers. Is it right? Is it wrong? I do not know. what do you compare it to? How many really work? How many end in disaster? I can say I know of 2 personally right now that are an utter disaster. Age gaps, 24 and 28 years. They both got addicted to "crackgina" on a visit here some time back. Better judgment out the window. Both are deep in family issues, Sin sot issues, Support issues. Ones expecting a child, the other thinks she is pregnant. I am simply stunned by the men that will send money to a woman they barely know, 25 years younger then them. Put them up in a nice condo, visit 2, 3 times a year. It happens a lot. Anyway in speaking with both of them they are living in terrible regret and are both confused. One is 53, the other 46. Both appear to be looking at someone to blame for this terrible predicament they are in.

Anyway I just say keep your laundry in your own basket. The answer is never going to be on a public web forum on a social issue. This is not a MAN only website. There is no "Bonding". Some good laughs indeed, good place to find things to do, where to buy a car, where to go fishing etc.

Maybe there should be a forum where to avoid the riff raff you pay to join. Have login sections where this can be discussed. Maybe there is a value. I just know that you cannot realistically post on TV openly. You will certainly get flamed on over and over as I will from this post.

transam · June 5, 2011

I suppose there are sites if you Google. There are forums for everything in every country.

I am just saying, looking for validation on an internet forum is odd. You have a bunch of posters using alias names who at the end of the day are going to make you feel like you are on a roller coaster ride. Most threads end up 50/50 on a question like this. So what do you then, believe the 50% that supported you or take into consideration the 50% that did not.? In the end you accomplished very little but air your insecurities or try to find reassurance on your decision.

The answer is with you. If you have to ask this question about age then you must be living with a level of guilt and insecurity, am I right? This was not about helping a relationship going bad, this was about age...PERIOD.

Why sugar coat it and be PC?. The fact of the matter, this is and always will be a huge social debate. No one wins. Is there a perfect age gap? NOPE....Is there a responsible age gap? You tell me.

Thailand, along with a few other SE Asian countries, are viewed by the world where old men who are lost souls come and eventually date or marry a women 20, 30, 40 years younger them. Heck there are even books about it. Internet marriage sites galore. "Buy a bride". Some even go off grid and "Buy" teenagers. Is it right? Is it wrong? I do not know. what do you compare it to? How many really work? How many end in disaster? I can say I know of 2 personally right now that are an utter disaster. Age gaps, 24 and 28 years. They both got addicted to "crackgina" on a visit here some time back. Better judgment out the window. Both are deep in family issues, Sin sot issues, Support issues. Ones expecting a child, the other thinks she is pregnant. I am simply stunned by the men that will send money to a woman they barely know, 25 years younger then them. Put them up in a nice condo, visit 2, 3 times a year. It happens a lot. Anyway in speaking with both of them they are living in terrible regret and are both confused. One is 53, the other 46. Both appear to be looking at someone to blame for this terrible predicament they are in.

Anyway I just say keep your laundry in your own basket. The answer is never going to be on a public web forum on a social issue. This is not a MAN only website. There is no "Bonding". Some good laughs indeed, good place to find things to do, where to buy a car, where to go fishing etc.

Maybe there should be a forum where to avoid the riff raff you pay to join. Have login sections where this can be discussed. Maybe there is a value. I just know that you cannot realistically post on TV openly. You will certainly get flamed on over and over as I will from this post.

, Amazing post from one who PM'd me a while back that l shouldn't post on anything cos l haven't the intelligence to do so.

Here you are attacking a forum discussion which is what a forum is for. A guy asked about third world on another thread and knocked him for asking a question on a forum.

Really think forum discussion is not for you, perhaps you feel above the riff raff here.

PS. Any reply here please, not PM eh.

rotary · June 5, 2011

Very well put! I would say thats about right!

I did a poll back in 2008.

The average age difference between man and woman was 15½ years.

It's just your upbringing that makes you fell old.

F1fanatic · June 5, 2011

I always find these threads quite entertaining.

In the end it is very sad in a way. In your home country, threads like this do not exist. There is a reason why.

The simple fact is that people come on here to justify their decision to be with a girl half(or more) their age and look for moral support from the others doing the same. If you were HONESTLY HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with your decision you would not be posting this question on any website looking for validation. Time to look in the mirror.

I guess you didn't read all the posts. I came to Thailand to get away from a 25 year old woman in the States and found a lovely older woman, 35 in Thailand.

I think topics like this would be a topic of Western forums but I don't know of any forums that are 95% male and straight in the West. Do you know of any forums in the West that discuss marital or dating problems with a bunch of guys both single and married of all ages? I think Thai Visa is a one of a kind. Tell me if I am wrong.

Quite. Everybody knows that young women (around the world) find old men (without money) incredibly attractive....

Kwasaki · June 5, 2011

Well I have never given it any thought other than to think is nice to have a young wife.

Young women still find me very attractive, I thinks it's my devastating charm and charisma, my cool manner and when I make complimentary remarks they just squeal with delight, they smile and wave at me wherever I go. I am so loved.

My wife loves to call me papa too.

F1fanatic · June 5, 2011

Well I have never given it any thought other than to think is nice to have a young wife.

Young women still find me very attractive, I thinks it's my devastating charm and charisma, my cool manner and when I make complimentary remarks they just squeal with delight, they smile and wave at me wherever I go. I am so loved.

My wife loves to call me papa too.

Precisely. Money doesn't come into it at all - its all about 'charisma'.

A wife calling you "papa" proves how she finds you sexually attractive....

Kwasaki · June 5, 2011

The advantages are many. A young person will have the strength to work in the fields or in your home and still have time to iron your bloomers and have dinner on the table when you want. She'll still be in top shape when you are in need of a nappie change. Best of all, she'll have the strength to shove you off of a balcony or put a bag over your head when you are a doddering old fellow and need a hand to send you on your way to Nirvana. Odin will greet with a strong embrace as you earned it by banging a babe.

IanForbes · June 5, 2011

Quite. Everybody knows that young women (around the world) find old men (without money) incredibly attractive....

Your sarcasm doesn't become you, F1fanatic. Who really knows what any one person finds attractive. I've known men who find fat women very attractive... the fatter the better. I know men who find much older women attractive. I know women who only stay with men who beat them. There is no getting inside the head of anyone... although psychologists do try... and most often fail. But, money DOES enhance the appeal of just about anyone... including women.

JPPR2 · June 5, 2011

1) Here you are attacking a forum discussion which is what a forum is for. A guy asked about third world on another thread and knocked him for asking a question on a forum.

^ I merely informed him to use the search engine. That very discussion was beat to death about 2 months ago. I did not say anything derogatory. Problem with that?

2) Really think forum discussion is not for you, perhaps you feel above the riff raff here.

^ and just maybe I do..........

3) PS. Any reply here please, not PM eh.

^ As requested.

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