Is Life Living In Thailand A Never Ending Holiday

[Forethat]

When someone asks me what living in Thailand is like, I am always honest and tell them "It's a mental challenge".

[kerryk]

Foreigners always keep make the same mistake. Think there girl different!

Only never are.

One of the best posts I've ever read here on Thaivisa.

I've written about this a few times, but I'll say it again.

I lived with my son's mother for more than ten years. She's a restaurant manager at one of the top tourist hotels here in BKK. Good salary. Nice car. She manages 30+ staff.

She's late thirties; I'm early forties.

She was the ONLY woman in the whole of Thailand who would never cheat.

Last year a Belgian guy walked into the hotel. At that time, he was the manager of Thailand's top football team, Muang Thong United. You can Google him, if you want. He was probably the highest paid foreigner in the country.

You can work out by yourself what happened next.

Now ......... my son (aged 6) is the only boy in his class at school who doesn't have a proper family.

I lost a lot of money, and I lost my son.

As Olaf says "my girl was different".

It's to bad Andrew. It has effected all your posts. You are obsessed by it. It is understandable. But get over it. Join the club. Mine did the same thing but it wasn't in Thailand. I'd bet it has happened to 50% of the men on this forum outside of Thailand and the other 50% inside Thailand.

I've got two kids who don't like me very much and think I left their mother for another woman. I never told them about mom. Mom told them I was a jerk so many times I think they may still believe it.

But as many times as I have been tempted to write the kids an email and tell them the truth I always stop. I am better than that.

[kerryk]

I love this place, it has its faults but sitting back all day complaining about it only makes you a miserable git....

Life is WAY to short on worrying about stupid sheet. The world is a screwed up place.

I always hear about people in the pubs having a go at Thai's for putting tomato sauce on their steaks, I MEAN WHO REALLY GIVES A SHEET lol

I LOVE ketchup on my steak, the more the better. In fact I only eat steak so I can have LOTS AND LOTS of ketchup. If you don't like it- TOUGH!

I always find it amusing that so many people are sooooo concerned about my dietary habits, like when I visted home last and put 2 teaspoons of sugar in my cup of tea, just as I have all my life, and everyone was horrified. Surely people have more interesting things to worry about.

I have seen a lot of bad things in Thailand specifically and South East Asia in general but ketchup on a steak! That's really bad. Kind of makes caning in Singapore seem normal.

Now I know I will have nightmares tonight.

[andrewbkk]

Foreigners always keep make the same mistake. Think there girl different!

Only never are.

One of the best posts I've ever read here on Thaivisa.

I've written about this a few times, but I'll say it again.

I lived with my son's mother for more than ten years. She's a restaurant manager at one of the top tourist hotels here in BKK. Good salary. Nice car. She manages 30+ staff.

She's late thirties; I'm early forties.

She was the ONLY woman in the whole of Thailand who would never cheat.

Last year a Belgian guy walked into the hotel. At that time, he was the manager of Thailand's top football team, Muang Thong United. You can Google him, if you want. He was probably the highest paid foreigner in the country.

You can work out by yourself what happened next.

Now ......... my son (aged 6) is the only boy in his class at school who doesn't have a proper family.

I lost a lot of money, and I lost my son.

As Olaf says "my girl was different".

It's to bad Andrew. It has effected all your posts. You are obsessed by it. It is understandable. But get over it. Join the club. Mine did the same thing but it wasn't in Thailand. I'd bet it has happened to 50% of the men on this forum outside of Thailand and the other 50% inside Thailand.

I've got two kids who don't like me very much and think I left their mother for another woman. I never told them about mom. Mom told them I was a jerk so many times I think they may still believe it.

But as many times as I have been tempted to write the kids an email and tell them the truth I always stop. I am better than that.

Thanks dude -- but it's hard. It's VERY hard.

And she really was the ONLY woman here in Thailand would never cheat.

I used to read about the football manager in the newspapers; I used to see him on the television.

I'm starting to get good (nearly one year on), but it's still hard.

But how do you deal with the fact that your son's life is ruined?

Edited July 16, 2011 by andrewbkk

[lovelomsak]

All but 4 months of livimg here has been a holiday. The 4 months was when I was married. I too bought a house and walked away. If a guy cannot afford to walk away from a thai house he shouldnot buy one. So if you are thinking of buying one look at it as money spent with no quarantee of ever seeing it again. Keep it a holiday and remember there are many other places to holiday if Thailand doesnot work out.

[OlafStapleton]

But how do you deal with the fact that your son's life is ruined?

As KerryK already post.

Forget old son, then make new child with new woman.

Hard at first but new child soon replace other child in heart.

Repeat until one child learn to love you. Very easy in Thailand

[kerryk]

It's hard not to be bitter. But it doesn't help to be bitter or vindictive. When kids are involved it always makes it harder. I try and imagine my mind as a room with two doors. When I get a thought that is destructive I imagine it coming in one door and out the other. This probably sounds stupid. But it works for me.

[Geekfreaklover]

But how do you deal with the fact that your son's life is ruined?

As KerryK already post.

Forget old son, then make new child with new woman.

Hard at first but new child soon replace other child in heart.

Repeat until one child learn to love you. Very easy in Thailand

Forget your child and then make a new one with a new woman?

Are you for real?

You have to keep contact with that child. Not replace him or her. They will always know who their real father is.

I had the same, or similar experience, Was married to a Thai women. Children.

Things got nasty. Divorce was the only option, Took her to court. Won custody of my kids, gave her all the money, the houses, the cars etc.

Was I lucky, no? I loved my kids and the court could see that.

I stood up to the plate. Didn't walk away and recreate with another woman,

Move on, but don't forget. - It'll come back to bite you.

[OlafStapleton]

Are you for real?

You have to keep contact with that child. Not replace him or her. They will always know who their real father is.

Not in Thailand.

Adding 1 more same same as Thai man, no problem.

But only talk about child care for by poison mouth mother (of any nationality).

[StreetCowboy]

But how do you deal with the fact that your son's life is ruined?

As KerryK already post.

Forget old son, then make new child with new woman.

Hard at first but new child soon replace other child in heart.

Repeat until one child learn to love you. Very easy in Thailand

Forget your child and then make a new one with a new woman?

Are you for real?

You have to keep contact with that child. Not replace him or her. They will always know who their real father is.

I had the same, or similar experience, Was married to a Thai women. Children.

Things got nasty. Divorce was the only option, Took her to court. Won custody of my kids, gave her all the money, the houses, the cars etc.

Was I lucky, no? I loved my kids and the court could see that.

I stood up to the plate. Didn't walk away and recreate with another woman,

Move on, but don't forget. - It'll come back to bite you.

Some posters are like mosquito bites. If you scratch, they just get worse.

For Andrew: Your son will cope, one way or another. Its - saddening - to know we may not be indispensable, but you still have to be ready, to be there, when you are needed.

Like the fire brigade.

Or a full-back.

SC

[smokie36]

If you bring Coal to Newcastle, it aint much fun anywhere.

I'm always happy to stoke the fire.

[Geekfreaklover]

Are you for real?

You have to keep contact with that child. Not replace him or her. They will always know who their real father is.

Not in Thailand.

Adding 1 more same same as Thai man, no problem.

But only talk about child care for by poison mouth mother (of any nationality).

I repeat. Are you for real?

That post makes no sense to me whatsoever.

[clausewitz]

I live in sukumvit bangkok and yes living in thailand is one long holiday.

[farang000999]

Thailand was a permanent holiday for me before I had a child and then all of it's faults became a bit overbearing. It really is a wonderful place to live though if you are childless.

[blazes]

I have been here for 6 years now ,with the wife and son and life is just one long holiday ,but living in a village up north ,would be like a living death. usually after about 3 days i am climbing the walls when we visit her Mum and she lives just outside a big town .

I strongly identify with what is written here. I was on the point of getting married to a sweetheart from a village near Khon Kaen, but couldn't bear the idea of living in or near so isolated a dump (even though it is a really big town).

Love is not just about what you feel for the loved one...it is also about things like "where you live" and "how you live" and whether the geography is suitable to your psyche. Issan is flat as far as the eye can see....if you come from a flat landscape in your own country, maybe you won't mind it....

I asked my gf if she would come and live with me in Chiang Mai after we were married... she wouldn't leave her village ....so, our relationship had to end, cos I am old enough to know that I would be miserable in such a town....love does not conquer all, no matter what the poets say...

[metisdead]

A post containing an offensive derogatory comment directed toward western women has been removed.

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

[billd766]

I still live the dream here in Pattaya, everything you could ever want is HERE. Why would you live in a jungle with people you have zero in common with. 3 days is fine then its a boring, sticky, mossy infested slum dwelling. GET REAL. Buy in a place that YOU will have a great retirement, you have earned it, so why end up in misery,cos thats what it will be after the first few weeks. Plus if you complain you are history and back to dear old greylands without a pot. Read the book you chump.

Oddly enough there are many people who live out in the sticks in much nicer places than Pattaya.

I have far more in common with most of the local people out here than anyone in Pattaya.

I don't think that I live in a sticky mossy infested slum building so I built a reasonable 3 bedroom house out in the countryside where I have no need for security guards, barbed wire farang ghettos and I love it.

In my 18 years coming to, working in and living in Thailand I have visited many places including most of Issan over a 4 year period. I have also spent time in Pattaya and to be honest, for me, if it were cut out of Thailand, pushed out into the Gulf and sank I would probably cheer assuming that I noticed.

I spent a few days there last year and I couldn't wait to get away.

I am not sure where you get the idea that if I complain I am history. Perhaps it may be so with the people that you associate with.

By the way please don't refer to me as a chump. It is not polite and fortunately I still have enough manners not to write my thoughts about you.

There are very few things in Pattaya that I want that I cannot get in any civilised part of Thailand and Pattaya is certainly not civilised.

[peleid]

I have lived here 6 years now and it is certainly no never ending holiday. I would not want to live in a village up north because you will be in total isolation.

I love it here but life is what you make of it but it all boils down to yourself. You can be happy or miserable anywhere. I just think its easier here, but no not a holiday because things will become normal not like on a Holiday.

I do not know why everybody prefers the south to the north I for one cannot stand the south, if you want to see the true thailand head north my man. That is the real test about living in thailand, ask your self is it he birds and the booze you like or is it the thai people, culture, the food. Only you can answer this question. I am going to my thai wifes village tomorrow, (loei) cannot wait the most beautiful part of thailand for sure.

Malcolm

[BlueSmurf]

Next month i am planning on getting married to my GF who i have been dating now for well over 3 years and she is here on a Visitors Visa.

We are planning on a Spouce visa, But maybe better to sell up and move to LOS.

Marry in Thailand, not western world. Less easy for her to get 'entitlements' in west

More easy for you in Thailand, less paperwork for VISA, easier divorce, etc.

Life in Thailand one big holiday if plenty of money, not so fun if no money.

DO NOT sell up in UK, no UK address lose entitlement to everything in UK, rent house in UK, rent house in Thailand.

Rent from house in UK count towards VISA, buy house in Thailand in name wife get you nothing.

LIve near big town fun (CM or BKK), live in prison in village near her family not fun.

This morning school learn Thai, this afternoon swimming in lake, then read book by lake.

Excellent Post!!!! keep your house in the UK and rent it out.You will always then have a income...Rent here ..It makes no sense to buy..Do not live in a village where the only person you can speak to is your wife!!! You will go crazy..It can seem like a long holiday here but you must be occupied in the daytime rather than waiting for your hangover to clear! Good Luck..Dave

[scorpio]

i once had a dream like you malc. consider this very very seriously, life in isaan is good if you have something to occupy your mind, do you excercise ? do you speak thai /isaan ? do you have the money to stay there say 10 years ?

it turned me into an alco in a couple of years, im not complaining as i enjoy life in isaan to a certain extent but please please do not jump into it with your eyes closed , m any a good man has returned to the uk or europe broken and out of pocket !!!

think twice

think long

think hard

[scorpio]

I have been here for 6 years now ,with the wife and son and life is just one long holiday ,but living in a village up north ,would be like a living death. usually after about 3 days i am climbing the walls when we visit her Mum and she lives just outside a big town .

I strongly identify with what is written here. I was on the point of getting married to a sweetheart from a village near Khon Kaen, but couldn't bear the idea of living in or near so isolated a dump (even though it is a really big town).

Love is not just about what you feel for the loved one...it is also about things like "where you live" and "how you live" and whether the geography is suitable to your psyche. Issan is flat as far as the eye can see....if you come from a flat landscape in your own country, maybe you won't mind it....

I asked my gf if she would come and live with me in Chiang Mai after we were married... she wouldn't leave her village ....so, our relationship had to end, cos I am old enough to know that I would be miserable in such a town....love does not conquer all, no matter what the poets say...

i agree with you to a certain extent m8, even my thai wife gets very pi***ed off in isaan , though only last year we found a lovely big group of lakes near kalasin ( about 30 mins drive from our villiage ) last time i was over i used to drive down there and have a swim or a beer and relax, its beautifull. life is slow for sure but go out and help the family do some fishing or work the fields etc. if i want to party then an hour takes me to either khon kaen or udon thani or kalasin , im stuck between the 3 of them. or i can take myself over into laos . life in isaan does have its good points, we all complain about pattaya and bkk, its good to get away from the nightlife for a change

[lounger]

I do understand her reasons for moving near family but their needs to be more going on than what their is in village life.

Do you really know why she wants to be near her family? You will probably work out that its cheaper to build or buy a house rather t than rent over the long term. Of course the house will belong to your wife. If you fall out she is ok in her own house near her family. If you dont fall out there is no way she will sell the house near family so if you want to move you start again. It sounds a dream buying a house and if bored then selling up and moving on. Wrong. everytime you move you add to her housing portfolio.

plenty more to write but mrs lounger is being bossy............

[lounger]

I have lived here 6 years now and it is certainly no never ending holiday. I would not want to live in a village up north because you will be in total isolation.

I love it here but life is what you make of it but it all boils down to yourself. You can be happy or miserable anywhere. I just think its easier here, but no not a holiday because things will become normal not like on a Holiday.

I do not know why everybody prefers the south to the north I for one cannot stand the south, if you want to see the true thailand head north my man. That is the real test about living in thailand, ask your self is it he birds and the booze you like or is it the thai people, culture, the food. Only you can answer this question. I am going to my thai wifes village tomorrow, (loei) cannot wait the most beautiful part of thailand for sure.

Malcolm

Sounds to me as though you dont actually live in Loei but only visit.

I lived in Patong for a year and grew to hate the Muay Thai loudspeaker van. In my village (!) in rural Thailand the sound pollution makes Patong seem a desert island. The villagers have no conception of considerate neighbour. On one side the farmer has a few cows and burns green grass 24/7 to keep the mosquitoes off. The other side varies his entrepreneurial instincts by breeding/growing pigs/fish/chickens/geese then maize/sugar cane eachone stinking with chemical or sh1t. Then his son comes home and turns on the equivalent of a nightclub sound system. 300 metres away the wat/temple does everything amplified through rock concert volume speakers. Currently its Cowpensar so an idiot with a gong beats time from 4:00am until its light. Regularly there is a party for a wedding/boy going into temple/house warming/ burning with, yes you guessed it sports stadium volumes amplification, each lasting about 3 days all day and most of the night. Now funerals, there is a joke: coconuts filled with gunpowder fired into the air exploding with a racket that I swear causes my heart to miss a beat, and this goes on and on........ Now I go to Bangkok everytime I get fed up or if the speakers happen to set up a resonance in my house.............

Basicly I fluctuate from anger to boredom........ Now if I had rented a house not built one then I would nt be so tied........ Oh yes the locals seem pleasant enough but they really dont care and I would hate to speak Thai well enough to understand what they are saying about us.......

Moral: stay among people you understand.

[astanhope]

If life is like a holiday, then i should scrap thinking about the Visa's etc and just move to LOS.

I would imagine that living up north is very different to living in a resort, so need to think about that one plus a little night life is a plus with a few bars.

maybe a little house, sitting in a rocking chair with my chang and watching the world go by

Bring some good books.

[thaibeachlovers]

I have lived here 6 years now and it is certainly no never ending holiday. I would not want to live in a village up north because you will be in total isolation.

I love it here but life is what you make of it but it all boils down to yourself. You can be happy or miserable anywhere. I just think its easier here, but no not a holiday because things will become normal not like on a Holiday.

I do not know why everybody prefers the south to the north I for one cannot stand the south, if you want to see the true thailand head north my man. That is the real test about living in thailand, ask your self is it he birds and the booze you like or is it the thai people, culture, the food. Only you can answer this question. I am going to my thai wifes village tomorrow, (loei) cannot wait the most beautiful part of thailand for sure.

Malcolm

Sounds to me as though you dont actually live in Loei but only visit.

I lived in Patong for a year and grew to hate the Muay Thai loudspeaker van. In my village (!) in rural Thailand the sound pollution makes Patong seem a desert island. The villagers have no conception of considerate neighbour. On one side the farmer has a few cows and burns green grass 24/7 to keep the mosquitoes off. The other side varies his entrepreneurial instincts by breeding/growing pigs/fish/chickens/geese then maize/sugar cane eachone stinking with chemical or sh1t. Then his son comes home and turns on the equivalent of a nightclub sound system. 300 metres away the wat/temple does everything amplified through rock concert volume speakers. Currently its Cowpensar so an idiot with a gong beats time from 4:00am until its light. Regularly there is a party for a wedding/boy going into temple/house warming/ burning with, yes you guessed it sports stadium volumes amplification, each lasting about 3 days all day and most of the night. Now funerals, there is a joke: coconuts filled with gunpowder fired into the air exploding with a racket that I swear causes my heart to miss a beat, and this goes on and on........ Now I go to Bangkok everytime I get fed up or if the speakers happen to set up a resonance in my house.............

Basicly I fluctuate from anger to boredom........ Now if I had rented a house not built one then I would nt be so tied........ Oh yes the locals seem pleasant enough but they really dont care and I would hate to speak Thai well enough to understand what they are saying about us.......

Moral: stay among people you understand.

"300 metres away the wat/temple does everything amplified through rock concert volume speakers. Currently its Cowpensar so an idiot with a gong beats time from 4:00am until its light."

Oh, I can identify with that, as that is the same where I live. Luckily don't have the burning man next door.

Only been here a fortnight, and miss Pattaya. It was quieter there.

I never knew how my Thai GFs could sleep through any noise, but as they came from the village, I now know!

[blazes]

If life is like a holiday, then i should scrap thinking about the Visa's etc and just move to LOS.

I would imagine that living up north is very different to living in a resort, so need to think about that one plus a little night life is a plus with a few bars.

maybe a little house, sitting in a rocking chair with my chang and watching the world go by

Bring some good books.

One other little problem, to do with Visas.

Whereas if you marry your Thai sweetheart and take her to wherever, she can be a citizen of "your" country in 3 to 5 years depending on country.

In Thailand however, if you are really wanting to take on Thai citizenship, you can expect to wait up to 10 years and go through all sorts of hoops to get to this dubious destination.

So, most farangs who marry their Thai princesses will have to constantly renew visas for as long as they live....a real pain in the derriere.

Yes, as others have said, NEVER sell up "back home"....you MUST have something to return to, even if your wife is absolutely honest and faithful for ever and a day. The moment the pressure to open your wallet (to pay for the uncle's buffalo that died) becomes too stressful, LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE and do not, like Lot's wife, look back.

[hotandhumid]

I have been here for 6 years now ,with the wife and son and life is just one long holiday ,but living in a village up north ,would be like a living death. usually after about 3 days i am climbing the walls when we visit her Mum and she lives just outside a big town .

I strongly identify with what is written here. I was on the point of getting married to a sweetheart from a village near Khon Kaen, but couldn't bear the idea of living in or near so isolated a dump (even though it is a really big town).

Love is not just about what you feel for the loved one...it is also about things like "where you live" and "how you live" and whether the geography is suitable to your psyche. Issan is flat as far as the eye can see....if you come from a flat landscape in your own country, maybe you won't mind it....

I asked my gf if she would come and live with me in Chiang Mai after we were married... she wouldn't leave her village ....so, our relationship had to end, cos I am old enough to know that I would be miserable in such a town....love does not conquer all, no matter what the poets say...

So why do you go with her to visit her Mum then? Grow a pair and tell her you aint going, or are you chained to each other? I never go to the sticks when my missus goes home, and she doesn't expect me too either.

[cdnski12]

Suggest you check out Thai ripoffs on the Internet, before marrying & moving to Thailand. Best to live for 2-6 months in Issan, before deciding to move there. Check out her extended family; becuase they will be checking out your finances. Good advice from my Danish Pal in Nong Khai, "Expect to loose everything you invest in Thailand". Remember you are a Farang ATM to your Thai family. The fastest way for the family to come up with the inevitable $25,000 to fix grandma's health problem or a serious legal problem, is to hit you up for the cash. Your Thai Visa can be cancelled with $500 USD Bribe to the local village Chief or Police Captain. You are served witha Visa Cancellation Notice and have 48 hrs to clear the country. I have met several older farangs in Bars in Vientiane, Laos & Poipet, Cambodia with a sad tale of being ripped off for $100,000 of Thai investment. Check out the Internet for many of these stories, Cha, Cha my man. There is always another Thai GF to be had. Much safer to buy a Condo or Strata titled residence; but even those are subject to various ripoffs. Farangs can not privately own land in Thailand.

[blazes]

I have been here for 6 years now ,with the wife and son and life is just one long holiday ,but living in a village up north ,would be like a living death. usually after about 3 days i am climbing the walls when we visit her Mum and she lives just outside a big town .

I strongly identify with what is written here. I was on the point of getting married to a sweetheart from a village near Khon Kaen, but couldn't bear the idea of living in or near so isolated a dump (even though it is a really big town).

Love is not just about what you feel for the loved one...it is also about things like "where you live" and "how you live" and whether the geography is suitable to your psyche. Issan is flat as far as the eye can see....if you come from a flat landscape in your own country, maybe you won't mind it....

I asked my gf if she would come and live with me in Chiang Mai after we were married... she wouldn't leave her village ....so, our relationship had to end, cos I am old enough to know that I would be miserable in such a town....love does not conquer all, no matter what the poets say...

So why do you go with her to visit her Mum then? Grow a pair and tell her you aint going, or are you chained to each other? I never go to the sticks when my missus goes home, and she doesn't expect me too either.

I see English is not your first language. My post clearly states that I left my sweetheart. So, please don't resort to talk of "growing a pair" (or are you a woman and referring to mammaries?)

[hotandhumid]

I have been here for 6 years now ,with the wife and son and life is just one long holiday ,but living in a village up north ,would be like a living death. usually after about 3 days i am climbing the walls when we visit her Mum and she lives just outside a big town .

I strongly identify with what is written here. I was on the point of getting married to a sweetheart from a village near Khon Kaen, but couldn't bear the idea of living in or near so isolated a dump (even though it is a really big town).

Love is not just about what you feel for the loved one...it is also about things like "where you live" and "how you live" and whether the geography is suitable to your psyche. Issan is flat as far as the eye can see....if you come from a flat landscape in your own country, maybe you won't mind it....

I asked my gf if she would come and live with me in Chiang Mai after we were married... she wouldn't leave her village ....so, our relationship had to end, cos I am old enough to know that I would be miserable in such a town....love does not conquer all, no matter what the poets say...

So why do you go with her to visit her Mum then? Grow a pair and tell her you aint going, or are you chained to each other? I never go to the sticks when my missus goes home, and she doesn't expect me too either.

I see English is not your first language. My post clearly states that I left my sweetheart. So, please don't resort to talk of "growing a pair" (or are you a woman and referring to mammaries?)

So your own wife wouldn't move herself to be with you, her husband? I find that almost unbelievable. You clearly made a major ricket marrying her and i've seen it many times in the LOS. Sorry things never worked out for you.