Another Black Eye

[britmaveric]

I agree it would be wise to leave an aggressive husband but it's difficult not to listen to your heart. Her husband beats her up once in a while so what? She told that her husband is a very nice loving man at other times. I would rather ask women leave their dull and boring non-beating husbands.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So you think that an exciting husband who beats you up occasionally is preferable to a boring husband who treats you with respect?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bizzare thinking I agree!!! Let's spice up the relationship and box you a bit!!!

[Thaipwriter]

my house has 2 big bags of procelain pellets for my semi-automatic laser-guided BB gun.

Bet you feel safe as houses with that tucked under your bed!

Can you lend it to the OP for a few weeks?

[jrincon17]

I am a falang girl, he is a Thai guy (of course!) we have been together 3 years, but he has only been like this for the last 6 months.  Thats really about it - oh and I love him very much - when he is not like this, he is an absolute angel, very funny, very attractive, takes good care etc etc....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LIsten to yourself , he's an angel ? i never got women who always stayed with men like this . Hideous , get away from him , go on your own . move and dont tell him where you live .

[jrincon17]

Im not really looking for any advise, as I know what I have to do.  Im really just looking for some more persuasion hopefully to give me the power to be strong and say no.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well ..how can i say more

please take care yourself ..and hope your BF realize he did wrong and dont do it again

hugs you

BB

ps.. i have never had the experience like this b4 ..and i cant stand with guy who beat girl up, if i had BF who beat me, i 'd leave him asap

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Realize he wont do it it again , thats a joke bambi ! He's done it 4 times in the last 6 months . Hmmm beatin almost once a month . Dont be a statistic get away from him , dont make excuses for him and dont let us read about you in the paper

[jrincon17]

I agree it would be wise to leave an aggressive husband but it's difficult not to listen to your heart. Her husband beats her up once in a while so what? She told that her husband is a very nice loving man at other times. I would rather ask women leave their dull and boring non-beating husbands. I think Soph should consider carefully gains and losses but she can't count on he'll give up beating. They rarely do!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dude i think you beat women or you are just stupid for beliving what you just wrote

[chonabot]

Her husband beats her up once in a while so what?  !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Spoken like a wife-beating piece of garbage.

Lets meet up for a lesson you will not forget ......

Edited October 24, 2005 by chonabot

[Kringle]

I'm going to play this one really hard and say that the OP is either a TROLL or just down right STUPID!!!!!...... There are way too many GOOD guys and gals around to suffer through the bad ones. I've never hit a woman in my life and think that any MAN could not either. I say, if the woman is bad, LEAVE her but you don't have to hit her. So what is the next story about you having a good job, are you giving him ALL your money? Grow up and smell the roses, dump the fvckwit or live with it. Doesn't take rocket science.

Put it to you this way: If I EVER hit my wife, she would be gone and I don't wanna know what would happen after that. Granted you don't have the last part oif that but loose the dipsh1t.

[Fast Eddie]

I agree it would be wise to leave an aggressive husband but it's difficult not to listen to your heart. Her husband beats her up once in a while so what? She told that her husband is a very nice loving man at other times. I would rather ask women leave their dull and boring non-beating husbands. I think Soph should consider carefully gains and losses but she can't count on he'll give up beating. They rarely do!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that if it gets to a stage where your heart is telling you that it's a good idea to stay with someone who is beating you, and who could potentially kill you, then that's probably the time to seek some sort of support network or counselling. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, but the OP has to be the person to change her acceptance of it.

[bino]

I'll start by saying that I think what your BF did (and continues to do) is really wrong. There is absolutely no justifiable reason for a man to hit a woman. I've never done it, and I think that men who do are a$$holes and ultimately cowards.

But... what I'm wondering is what causes it? I'm guessing that he didn't just look up from his plate at the dinner table and snap- come across the table and tear into you. There must me something that makes him behave this way.

Some causes can be alcohol, the man's job or family pressures, or even an argument / verbal fight with a woman that goes too far and push his hot button to name just a few. None of these are acceptable. Once the line of violence has been crossed, there is usually no turning back. It will continue to happen.

It would seem that he / your relationship has bigger problems and issues that you can not do anything to resolve, and should take into consideration- strengthening your motivation to get far away from him as quickly and easily as possible.

I would advise you not to wait until January when your friends / family are arriving. They will still be your friends / family regardless of your situation, and will probably be supportive when they know the facts. This will definitely be better (not to mention safer) for you in the end than "maintaining an illusion" of happiness.

It will take a lot of courage on your part, but put yourself on the path to real peace and happiness as soon as possible. There are lots of men in the world who will cherish you and treat you with respect.

There have been several other threads from women in abusive relationships. They disturb me and my heart goes out to you and all of them every time I read them. Good luck to you, and I hope that it all works out. Everyone here cares and wants the best for you. I hope that someday we can all read about a happy ending / good situation for you.

[Nam Kao]

This is the Thai culture, the Thai way

Your lucky your not upcountry, police here would never help the woman

[britmaveric]

This is the Thai culture, the Thai way

  Your lucky your not upcountry, police here would never help the woman

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

True - so a quick exit is in order!

[lappami1]

Dude i think you beat women or you are just stupid for beliving what you just wrote

I'm not specialized in beating GFs but I'm not hypocrite too. Violence in relationships is very common and not something exceptional. I don't know how seriously beaten Soph has been but four times in six months is too much. Now I think someone asks my opinion how much is enough

Many men like to emphasize that they never hit women but I think real statistics are finally not so good.

[britmaveric]

Let's make it clear not one beating is acceptable behaviour.

[lappami1]

Spoken like a wife-beating piece of garbage. 

Lets meet up for a lesson you will not forget

In Finland there is an old saying that you should keep your wife between the fist and the stove

[Nam Kao]

What if she doesnt keep me beers cold?

[lappami1]

Let's make it clear not one beating is acceptable behaviour. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think no one has challenged that.

[chonabot]

Spoken like a wife-beating piece of garbage. 

Lets meet up for a lesson you will not forget

In Finland there is an old saying that you should keep your wife between the fist and the stove

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That would account for the high suicide rate.

[Boo]

There is a big difference IMO between having a phyisical argument (pushing, throwing something etc) & being beaten. I think most people have wanted to wack their partner sometimes in the heat of an argument & may even have pushed them or hit them on the body. This is very different to being beaten as the physical argument is usually restrained & not intended to intimidate but to express frustration or a point.

Having a partner beat you or give you a black eye is unacceptable & regardless of how sweet he is the rest of the time this in itself is a form of control as you will never know when he may loose it again so you spend you life walking on egg shells & trying to appease them to prevent a blow up.

It sounds to me like sophs confidence is at rock bottom & that he has taken all of her intependence & self worth away. Get out now & remember who you are before she dissapears completly.

[kayo]

Hi Soph, My heart goes out to you in your current predicament.

Question for other members:

Is there not somebody who is relatively near to Sophie who could not take her in for a month or so, while she tries to get out of the situation (obviously re safety, not somebody on the same island/province)?

[Guest endure]

Spoken like a wife-beating piece of garbage. 

Lets meet up for a lesson you will not forget

In Finland there is an old saying that you should keep your wife between the fist and the stove

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In England there is an old saying that a husband who beats his wife deserves a good kick in the nadgers

[Fast Eddie]

In Finland there is an old saying that you should keep your wife between the fist and the stove

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a charming nation of people. Do many Fins live by this idiom then?

[WhiteShiva]

I'm going to play this one really hard and say that the OP is either a TROLL or just down right STUPID!!!!!...... There are way too many GOOD guys and gals around to suffer through the bad ones. I've never hit a woman in my life and think that any MAN could not either. I say, if the woman is bad, LEAVE her but you don't have to hit her. So what is the next story about you having a good job, are you giving him ALL your money? Grow up and smell the roses, dump the fvckwit or live with it. Doesn't take rocket science.

  Put it to you this way: If I EVER hit my wife, she would be gone and I don't wanna know what would happen after that. Granted you don't have the last part oif that but loose the dipsh1t.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree, any man who beats a woman is a coward and a loser. The OP needs to use her head, not her heart. I have never been able to understand women (or men, for that matter) who take this kind of abuse from their partner, and somehow manage to fool themselves into beliveing it will somehow be better in the future. The guy is sick, is manipulative and does not care about the OP.

Get out - now. You have nothing - yes, nothing! to lose!

[TizMe]

I don't know how seriously beaten Soph has been but four times in six months is too much.

What cave did you crawl out of?

[Eric Davis]

Hi Soph, My heart goes out to you in your current predicament.

Question for other members:

Is there not somebody who is relatively near to Sophie who could not take her in for a month or so, while she tries to get out of the situation (obviously re safety,  not somebody on the same island/province)?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think Scampy is back in town.

[BambinA]

Im not really looking for any advise, as I know what I have to do.  Im really just looking for some more persuasion hopefully to give me the power to be strong and say no.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well ..how can i say more

please take care yourself ..and hope your BF realize he did wrong and dont do it again

hugs you

BB

ps.. i have never had the experience like this b4 ..and i cant stand with guy who beat girl up, if i had BF who beat me, i 'd leave him asap

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Realize he wont do it it again , thats a joke bambi ! He's done it 4 times in the last 6 months . Hmmm beatin almost once a month . Dont be a statistic get away from him , dont make excuses for him and dont let us read about you in the paper

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well , how can i say more than that , that time, coz the op does not want any advise..i did not try to make any axcuse for him

and if u read till my "ps" you will know what is my final answer

[lappami1]

Spoken like a wife-beating piece of garbage. 

Lets meet up for a lesson you will not forget

In Finland there is an old saying that you should keep your wife between the fist and the stove

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That would account for the high suicide rate.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In fact we have world's highest suicide rate Maybe it has something to do with our climate. Our only hope is in greenhouse effect.

[billd766]

I feel so sorry that you are in this situation.

I am 61 and I have NEVER hit a woman in my life no matter how mad I ever got.

I talked about it to my wife and she said that if I ever did hit her one of two things would happen.

1 She would walk away instantly and come back with friends to take her stuff or

2 I would never be able to sleep at all for the rest of my life because of what she would do to me at some point in time.

What I suggest to you is that when your friend is relaxed and happy explain both scenarios to him. Also invest in what used to be caled a Louisville Slugger or more commonly known as a baseball bat. If he should be so foolish as to hit you again smash one of his kneecaps and he will NEVER do it again to anyone.

I know what I have suggested is wrong but believe me it is effective. After all you are only defending yourself against his violence.

[Fast Eddie]

I feel so sorry that you are in this situation.

I am 61 and I have NEVER hit a woman in my life no matter how mad I ever got.

I talked about it to my wife and she said that if I ever did hit her one of two things would happen.

1 She would walk away instantly and come back with friends to take her stuff or

2 I would never be able to sleep at all for the rest of my life because of what she would do to me at some point in time.

What I suggest to you is that when your friend is relaxed and happy explain both scenarios to him. Also invest in what used to be caled a Louisville Slugger or more commonly known as a baseball bat. If he should be so foolish as to hit you again smash one of his kneecaps and he will NEVER do it again to anyone.

I know what I have suggested is wrong but believe me it is effective. After all you are only defending yourself against his violence.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Pulling a weapon on him and having him rip it out of your hands and beat you to a pulp, is not such a great idea.

[zata_in_bangkok]

A couple of weeks ago I was walking down my street and saw a woman that looked absolutely terrible. Her face was blueish-blackish and swollen on one side. The worst thing: she was obviously embarassed that I saw it.

How would you react in such a situation? I mean, back home I might try starting a conversation with such a woman and ask if she is all right... I feel bad of not having reacted but then again, I guess, I couldn't have done anything, I might just have 'embarassed' her more....

[lappami1]

Many women try to hide the fact that their husbands beat them. They are too embarassed to tell the truth even to their best friends. My friend (man) had once both eyes black. He told me that someone attacked him on the way home and he had to fight. That someone was his very jealous GF.