Bittersweet Memories

[kerryk]

Four years ago, maybe a bit more I was feeling off and I hired a maid to help around the house. She had only worked in the bar for a week. I paid her 300 baht a day. The pain did not go away and I required an operation that put me in the hospital for a couple of weeks. She could have ripped me off big time when I was ill but she didn't and I guess my pain and her loyalty created a bond. The bond lasted three years and during that time she saved her 300 a day and bought a small store, car and motorcycle upcountry. A year ago she went home but stayed in touch to make sure I was OK.

I moved on and got a Thai Visa type lady.

Last week I got a call and this week she came back to the bar from her quiet existence upcountry.

She didn't need the money. Her store was doing OK; not big bucks but enough to live decently in Issan. House, car and business (paid for) is enough for most people and better than average for a 35 year old unmarried woman.

There is a coffee shop across the street from the bar where I sometimes have afternoon tea. It is fun to drink tea and watch the ladies arrive for work.

My ex maid was not the only new person that I noticed at the bar. The other was an AB** grad that I had known four years ago. When I met her she was a student working a couple of days a week to pay her tuition. She has the nicest smile. I paid her tuition for a year. Alas I thought her to young at 20 to be a good life choice for me. We had a good year and laughed a lot. She went to school and got out of the bar.

Now they are both back. They both don't really need the money as they have other career choices.

Why I wonder. I think they just got bored and missed the party party atmosphere.

Is there a lesson to be learned? Take what they may give you and give back what you can.

[meatboy]

stop going to the bar,what you dont see cant hurt,i was in the same position 25years ago i had to let go and moved on,i often wondered how she got on never done a thing to hurt me but she was too young.

[cardholder]

I think it proves that not all girls who work in a bar do so because they HAVE to for money.

Watching rice grow from a house that is often little more than a wooden shack might not always be as appealing as the bright lights of Pattaya or Bangkok.

[kerryk]

stop going to the bar,what you dont see cant hurt,i was in the same position 25years ago i had to let go and moved on,i often wondered how she got on never done a thing to hurt me but she was too young.

You are of course right. However the temptation is also great. When you see a woman that you had a relationship with for a long time all of a sudden for sale it does bring up some interesting thoughts.

In a relationship things are decided by give and take and emotional feelings. In a bar everything is decided by cash.

At home I felt uncomfortable suggesting, “honey how about a threesome with your friend Sa tonight.” At the bar that would be simple.

At home certain things were taboo. At the bar every action has a price.

I find this duality of their nature fascinating.

[kerryk]

I think it proves that not all girls who work in a bar do so because they HAVE to for money.

Watching rice grow from a house that is often little more than a wooden shack might not always be as appealing as the bright lights of Pattaya or Bangkok.

Correct. I suspect as many reasons as there are people who work in bars.

[zzaa09]

No lessons. As some will never gain a learned way.:jap:

[challenger99]

I learned and it seem more then true: TO TAKE A LADY AWAY FROM A BAR IS EASY, BUT TO BRING AWAY THE BAR OUT FROM HER IS IMPOSSIBLE. :jap:

[kerryk]

It has been a long time ago but I seem to remember bringing my first stripper home when I was a sophomore in college. I remember her because it was the first time I got whisker burns on my ears. She shaved her legs all the way up instead of only from the knee down as was the style then.

Times change and in the equal atmosphere of the West today it is not acceptable for the man to still be a philanderer while the wife sits at home.

Thailand provides an alternative for us old guys who don't want to change.

So I guess the door swings both ways. Can't take the bar out of the boys either.

[meom]

^

Then why is it that a lot of (old) guys here seem to be as pussy whipped as in the West once they shack up with a local girl?

[kerryk]

^

Then why is it that a lot of (old) guys here seem to be as pussy whipped as in the West once they shack up with a local girl?

I of course could be wrong but I think it is because they didn't have girls in the West.

Women are not distributed equally based on population. They are distributed based on money, good looks, charm and other variables almost too numerous to mention.

Seems to me 30% of the Western male population gets 60% of the women (multiple exposures) and 30% of the male population gets none. So the PW phase I went through 5 or 6 times till I got conditioned out of it has not happened to a lot of guys who move to Thailand and this is the first or second woman (perhaps the first good looking) they have ever had.

My daughter talked me into getting a face book page. As a result a lot of old friends got in touch with me from my childhood. Only two men posted photos of their wives on their page. Beautiful woman, great educations. The guys were two geek guys that never had date in high school or college.

They had both done well in life married much later than most and though both in their 60's had infant children and trophy wives.

I was happy to see they had beautiful women and children to keep them company in their old age but think it is a lot like what I see Thailand.

Edited September 22, 2011 by kerryk

[meom]

^

Then why is it that a lot of (old) guys here seem to be as pussy whipped as in the West once they shack up with a local girl?

I of course could be wrong but I think it is because they didn't have girls in the West.

I think you’re right actually.

At least among the older TV populace there seem to be many guys who got married young and somewhere between 50-60 they felt an itch that needed scratching, get divorced and move to Thailand to play around.

What surprises me is that these same guys then settle down with the first girl they meet basically.