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What Are The 'Golden Rules' Of Advice For Tourists?

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  1. Have a good time--- you're on holiday

At least someone gets it.

The rest of this thread is the usual superiority complex, chip on the shoulder, anti Thai, stereo typical drivel.

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  1. Have a good time--- you're on holiday

At least someone gets it.

The rest of this thread is the usual superiority complex, chip on the shoulder, anti Thai, stereo typical drivel.

Perhaps you could ad something a little more positive :rolleyes:

  1. Have a good time--- you're on holiday

At least someone gets it.

The rest of this thread is the usual superiority complex, chip on the shoulder, anti Thai, stereo typical drivel.

Perhaps you could ad something a little more positive :rolleyes:

+1

There we go.

1. Beware the huffing and puffing of farang Thai defenders – humour them and trust your own judgement.

2. Thai television soaps are mind numbingly dreadful, but they will inform/educate you as what it will be like should you choose to have a TGF and associate with her family.

3. Patong to the airport is possible in 18 minutes.

4. Never steal another man's rhubarb.

5. Cover up on the beach – flabby sunburnt tits, ones that look like old witches leather purses or rotten apples will offend the locals and make the soi dogs howl for hours on end.

6. Understanding Thai phrases:

"I no work bar – I only hab work cashier" - I work bar.

(insert your own here...)

"6. Understanding Thai phrases:

"I no work bar – I only hab work cashier" - I work bar."

LOL very true

Never trust Thais we are an unwelcome necessity

That's it...

If you want to buy something from the street vendors. Negotiate... Ask their price and then halve it.

If you want to buy something from the street vendors. Negotiate... Ask their price and then halve it.

Vendors got wise to that years ago. They already built that 'half price discount' into their original asking price.

If you want to buy something from the street vendors. Negotiate... Ask their price and then halve it.

Vendors got wise to that years ago. They already built that 'half price discount' into their original asking price.

Halve it again then.

  1. Have a good time--- you're on holiday

At least someone gets it.

The rest of this thread is the usual superiority complex, chip on the shoulder, anti Thai, stereo typical drivel.

I agree. When on holiday here there is absolutely no need to see the 'down side'.

As long as tourists avoid jet skis and dodgy car/bike rental places, they should enjoy themselves. They have budgeted for taxis etc. prices that we find outrageous.

Having come here (mainly Phi Phi, but always around a week on Phuket) on holidays every year, for several years, before retiring here - I only saw the good things and took everything at face-value. And that is exactly how it should be when on holiday.

1. Beware the huffing and puffing of farang Thai defenders – humour them and trust your own judgement.

2. Thai television soaps are mind numbingly dreadful, but they will inform/educate you as what it will be like should you choose to have a TGF and associate with her family.

3. Patong to the airport is possible in 18 minutes.

4. Never steal another man's rhubarb.

5. Cover up on the beach – flabby sunburnt tits, ones that look like old witches leather purses or rotten apples will offend the locals and make the soi dogs howl for hours on end.

6. Understanding Thai phrases:

"I no work bar – I only hab work cashier" - I work bar.

(insert your own here...)

"6. Understanding Thai phrases:

"I no work bar – I only hab work cashier" - I work bar."

LOL very true

No V's in Thailand.

No hab.

I lup you darlink.

Anything with a V is desecrated by Thais.

"6. Understanding Thai phrases:

"I no work bar – I only hab work cashier" - I work bar."

LOL very true

7. Discerning what may or may not be entirely factual:

"Professional driver with limousine for hire" – Yaba fuelled sociopath with clapped out Datsun for hire. Caution advised.

"Room with Balcony " – The term 'Balcony' is acceptable should you be 6 inches high and 4 foot wide, otherwise select a ground floor room.

  • Author

I thought this thread could be like a bit of a 'Dangers and Annoyances' Mixed with a bit of humour and cool advice. Also the usual negative input...but what any traveler has to understand that its best to be aware of all problems big or small...and you aint always looking through rose coloured glasses. I appreciated all the advice that was given to me before i ventured out on my first overseas holiday

  • Author

Another rule is..... rent a car and not a motorbike...yes it takes you longer to get to your destination...and there is probably no parking when you get there....but its better to get there in one piece.

  1. Have a good time--- you're on holiday

At least someone gets it.

The rest of this thread is the usual superiority complex, chip on the shoulder, anti Thai, stereo typical drivel.

Perhaps you could ad something a little more positive

Fair comment.

Before coming on holiday never ever consult an expat forum for advice. Go with the flow, do what you think is right, use your common sense and enjoy yourself.

  • Author

Fair comment.

Before coming on holiday never ever consult an expat forum for advice. Go with the flow, do what you think is right, use your common sense and enjoy yourself.

A couple of free tips...common sense aint that common, also only a fool gives another fool the time of day...so <deleted> are you doing on Thaivisa if you feel it has nothing valuable to offer? What advice would you give your average mom and pop? "relax...chill out...just leave your wallet and credit cards with Somchai at the hot dog stand..its all good, pass the joint while your at it'

1. Beware the huffing and puffing of farang Thai defenders – humour them and trust your own judgement.

2. Thai television soaps are mind numbingly dreadful, but they will inform/educate you as what it will be like should you choose to have a TGF and associate with her family.

3. Patong to the airport is possible in 18 minutes.

4. Never steal another man's rhubarb.

5. Cover up on the beach – flabby sunburnt tits, ones that look like old witches leather purses or rotten apples will offend the locals and make the soi dogs howl for hours on end.

6. Understanding Thai phrases:

"I no work bar – I only hab work cashier" - I work bar.

(insert your own here...)

About right, not sure about No3 mind :rolleyes:

Fair comment.

Before coming on holiday never ever consult an expat forum for advice. Go with the flow, do what you think is right, use your common sense and enjoy yourself.

Giving advice on an expat forum to ignore advice on an expat forum seems somewhat incongruous! :blink:

A couple of free tips...common sense aint that common,

But the people without common sense wouldn't think to come on here to check for advice any way would they? You're chasing your tail with that arguement I'm afraid.

...so <deleted> are you doing on Thaivisa if you feel it has nothing valuable to offer?

Where exactly did you pluck that deduction from??

I said nothing about ThaiVisa, I commented on this thread. You may have started it with good intentions and there has been a couple of genuine pieces of advice, but on the whole just the usual drivel, but I think I said that already.

I'm fairly sure any grown up who is allowed a passport will be more than capable of working out if they don't already know, that some Asian people can't pronounce V's and R's, some Thai woman are prostitutes, and some people will smile at you when they don't really mean it. I'm also fairly sure the quality of Thai TV soaps isn't on the average holiday makers 'need to know' list.

That just leaves the wonderful advice such as 'Never Trust Thais' and if a Thai woman is talking she's lying, which anyone over the mental age of 6 will dismiss without a second thought.

Like I said, tourists who need advice from this thread should probably not be travelling unsupervised, or probably better if they just stop at home.

Giving advice on an expat forum to ignore advice on an expat forum seems somewhat incongruous!

Not in the slightest.

Any holiday maker that has made it this far through the thread, (which we have already established is unlikely) will read my post and see the error of their ways. They will then go on to enjoy their holiday without the burden of having read and believed the ramblings of a bunch of disenchanted old expats with chips on their shoulders, delusions of grandeur, and a sickening sense of superiority over the people of the country in which they have found themselves living.

Instead they'll probably just drink loads of beer, eat great food and party. Strange folk these holiday makers.

Golden rule for first timers to Phuket would be... don't go to Phuket !!!!

Why ??

Golden rule for first timers to Phuket would be... don't go to Phuket !!!!

Why ??

Just another one of the moaners who lives here and has probably realized it isn't for them but they have invested too heavily here to leave.

1000's of them here so just ignore it.

Rule #175. This is not your home. If you want everything to be just like home; stay there.

Rule #176. Try to act in Thailand as respectful as you would want a group of Thai tourists to act in your home town.

2 yes have a good time

3 do some research about Phuket area or Thailand and its history.

4 Don't stand out, blend in as much as you can

5 Yelling and screaming Swear words get you nothing but Trouble

6 All bar girls are single ? Wrong

7 Enjoy the Thai people LOS

8 Never ever rent a jet ski, that's trouble. and will cost you 30,000 bht min.

  1. Have a good time--- you're on holiday

  • Author

Giving advice on an expat forum to ignore advice on an expat forum seems somewhat incongruous!

Not in the slightest.

Any holiday maker that has made it this far through the thread, (which we have already established is unlikely) will read my post and see the error of their ways. They will then go on to enjoy their holiday without the burden of having read and believed the ramblings of a bunch of disenchanted old expats with chips on their shoulders, delusions of grandeur, and a sickening sense of superiority over the people of the country in which they have found themselves living.

Instead they'll probably just drink loads of beer, eat great food and party. Strange folk these holiday makers.

Im hardly a disenchanted and old...Im 34 and I love the place...and i do just that on my holidays here....drink loads of beer, eat great food and party....cheers anyway BTB

1) If you do not ride a motorcycle at home DON'T rent one here.

  • Author

Always pack toilet paper in the vehicle

Just another one of the moaners who lives here and has probably realized it isn't for them but they have invested too heavily here to leave.

1000's of them here so just ignore it.

I know more people here who don't invest in business but enjoy the lifestyle

I know a couple of people who have successful businesses here

Then you get the types who buy a bar and think they can make a good living out of it

They should just stand in the street and give there money away

Personally i would never invest in a business here, i keep my money where its safe

and i control and own all my investments

We have our own home here and everything else we want and i know other people the same

These 1000S of people are they the ones still doing visa runs?

Just another one of the moaners who lives here and has probably realized it isn't for them but they have invested too heavily here to leave.

1000's of them here so just ignore it.

I know more people here who don't invest in business but enjoy the lifestyle

I fall into this category but we are far and few between.

I'm talking about the guys who came for a holiday and never left and with minimal means of income.

They sell up back home only to become disillusioned with their poor choices in business (bars for example) and women (bars again), hence the posters with that 'don't come to phuket' attitude.

I guess its easier to live day to day and blame the island for poor choices rather than themselves but if that's the way people deal with their misery, all the power to them.

You can't tell me that a new victim doesn't arrive everyday.

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