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Chinese Wedding Night

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A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin.

Truth be told, he is none too experienced either.

On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses.

He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring:

"My darring" he says, "I know dis you fus tyne and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan. I do anyting you say you wan. Whatchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently, for her request.

She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan ..... numba 69".

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries:

"You want .. Shrimp wif Broccori?"

Taoism: shit happens

Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit

Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it

Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us?

Atheism: I don't believe this shit

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