One Foot In The Grave At Midlife?

[Stubby]

Hello all

I've been lurking in these forums for about 5 months now but feel I should post because I want some advice from other guys who are over 45.

I have been lucky because I can retire early (I am 53 yrs), but now that I have a nice life I worry about it going wrong with my health. Right now I am fit or I as far as I know I am.

I know 2 people personally, and of 1 other who died in 2011. They youngest was 45 and the other 2 early 50s. One heart attack (first one ever), another had 2 severe strokes which killed him, and last guy died just 7 weeks after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. The last guy was a very fit and good looking man for his age.

In my ignorance I thought people had to get a lot older that that before such things happened. The first guy has always been overweight which I think doesn't help any when someone gets older but I don't know what happened with the other 2.

It was suggested that I should go for a prostrate cancer check once a year, but I just can't bear the thought of a stranger sticking his finger up my back passage.

If anyone reading this and you are middle age man, pls can you post what health issues worry you most, and what you do, if anything, to stay in good shape and take care of yourself.

Today I spoke to a friend of mine and he seems to think that every day over 55 for a man is a bonus. Do so many middle aged men really get a lot of health issues?

Thank you very much

Stubby

Edited January 6, 2012 by Stubby

[Fookhaht]

I notice a lot of health issues seem to stem more from being overweight, sedentary life-styles, smoking and drinking than even age.

I'm 62 and in excellent health, but I exercise daily (cardio-vascular, muscle tone, etc.), and avoid or am moderate regarding the other "vices." My Thai friends in their early to mid-50's who disregard the dangers of the above "vices" appear much older than I and have a multitude more health issues as well. Most of my younger friends (ages 45-55) are popping pills left and right for blood pressure problems, high cholesterol, sleeping disorders, back pain, and a host more.

I vote for life style over age as setting the benchmarks for good health.

[KarenBravo]

It's all in the genes. Don't worry about it. Stress is the big killer.

[Fookhaht]

It's all in the genes. Don't worry about it. Stress is the big killer.

"All in the genes." Too much fatalism in that recipe for me. That's what my granddad said as he smoked himself into an early grave at age 52 after suffering pain-racking emphysema for 6 years previous to his death.

However, I certainly agree with you about stress! Killer #1!

[Stubby]

Thanks for the replies sofar. I think so much is in the genes, but surely an active and healthy lifestyle must help ward away some potential health complications. The guy that died of prostate cancer was in excellent shape. He looked younger than his years, and was very lean. A keen cyclist he was.

I forgot to say that my dad died before he reached 60. His major organs failed. i've got 6 years to beat his date with death. I am fit and healthy right now (or at least that i know of), but i can't ever remember hearing about so many sick people in middle age when i was younger but perhaps i just wasn't taking much notice of stuff.

I think Fookhaht raises some good points. There does seem to be more obesity around today than at any time ever. Even kids are getting fat these days but there were only one or 2 really podgy kids when i went to school many years ago.

Even the Thais seem to be piling on the weight and that wasn't the case just a generation ago. Excess weight seems to be associated to just about every illness if you listen to the medical experts, yet it seems that most people put their food before their health. Maybe the obesity thing is exaggerated, who really knows.

Stubby

[Lefty]

If I was very concerned about my health, the first thing I would do is get a through health screening at a hospital. Screening packages seem to run from bt3,000 to 15,000; it's worth that to know your current health status.

Then do annual checkup.

Lefty

[endure]

The best way to die an early death (many times) is to worry about your health. You will die. You have no idea when. Make the most of every day. It will stop you fretting about the inevitable.

[Fookhaht]

The best way to die an early death (many times) is to worry about your health. You will die. You have no idea when. Make the most of every day. It will stop you fretting about the inevitable.

May I point out the difference between "worrying" about your health, and adopting a fulfilling, satisfying, healthy lifestyle which helps melt away many stress factors, of which worry is a part?

[Mike45]

You can have your prostate checked with a PSA blood test now.

Edited January 7, 2012 by Mike45

[Sheryl]

Definitely there are things you can do which will improve your chances both of living longer and having a good quality of life. These include both lifestyle things (diet, exercise, stress reduction, don't smoke, don't drink in excess etc) and preventive health care (regular check-ups that screen for key things which, detected early, can avert unnecessary death or disability).

And it is possible to do these things without obsessing about your health or getting overly stressed about it.

Everyone differs in their psychology. for me, the easiest way not to stress out or worry about my health is to know that I have done those things which are reasonably within my power to do . Knowing that, I have no problem then shrugging and leaving the rest to fate and/or genetics. I personally would have a hard time doing so if I knew that there were, in fact, things well within my control I hadn't done that I should. That fact would nag at me.

Sooner or later we all die and some us will have to face some degree of disability first. When my time comes, I don't want to know I could have done something to prevent it, that would have an adverse effect on my peace of mind at a time when I would want to compose myself and be peaceful and accepting.

I mention "living longer and having a good quality of life" because I find people often make the mistake of thinking it is just a matter of dying sooner if you don't take reasonable care of yourself. Sometimes it is, but most often it is not. The quality of your older years, however much you have of them, will be much affected by these factors.

[mommysboy]

It's a good posting.

This past 12 months the realities of middle age have dawned on me too and I am slowly making necessary changes.

I thought about it greatly, but in the end it comes down to just doing the things that Sheryl has already mentioned.

It certainly eases my anxiety to know that I am doing the best I can for myself, beyond that you just have to shut off.

It's a bit of a trick isn't it, on the one hand we have to give in gracefully to gravity, on the other we must fight like mad to stay young.

The big psychological concern for me is anxiety, but I think it goes with the age, as we are in limbo, and we have to deal with it as best we can, in my case that means lots of exercise.

I don't think it is possible for a 50 year old to just lie on a beach, if you are fit you will have way too much energy and need to work in some form or another.

Since cancer is a consideration I think taking a small aspirin once a day is a good idea, and I intend to do more health screening too.

[Stubby]

Thanks everbody there have been some very useful responses here

We die if we worry and we die if we don't, so why worry? as the saying goes. There is a differnce between worrying and having a healthy concern for the health though.

I often read about how peole eat and smoke themselves to death, but this doesn't get as much attention as it ought because no death certificate will say; 'died from smoking/eating', but will just name the disease or condition caused by it.

Thank you all for contributing though. Sometimes, even when we know that a more healthy lifestyle and attitude towards it is necessary, it can still be benefical to hear the same message loud and clear from others.

Stubby

[IMA_FARANG]

Depends on the person...and their genetics.

My mother, and yes she was very obese, died at age 44.

Her father (my grandfather) however lived to be 96 years old. My own father made it to 80.

Although weight and physical activity/exercise can make a difference...your genetics is still the key factor.

I just turned 65....so we shall see whose genes I have, won't we?

Either way, it won't bother me (because I'll be dead).

No matter what you try, you ain't getting out of here alive.

[expatdreamer]

Stubby

Nice post. I am a man in my 40s and from time to time I do think about such things as ones longevity on this earth. I have seen three men literally drop dead with no warning in their early 50s - one was overweight, one had a stressful job, but the other was very fit and in my mind is still unexplainable.

You are indeed fortunate to retire at 53 and I have no doubt your father passing away at 60 was a significant motivator in you achieving this.

Both my mother and father are still alive and indeed well & active in their 70s, but of course this does not provide me with any guarantee that I will achieve this. In addition, I have a much more stressful job as a professional than they ever had as essentially blue collar workers. Both my mother and father retired around 55.

I think all the suggestions here are good (dont smoke, dont drink to excess, watch your weight) and I do all of these things. However a month wont go by when I dont think about what age I should retire. I have no doubt my parents retiring at mid 50s has helped them achieve another 20 years already in retirement, and probably another 10 to 20 more still to go based on their current health. Interestingly enough, in my country they have set the old age pension retirement age to 67 now (good luck to people lasting that long in stressful jobs !)

Can I ask you how long ago you decided you were going to retire early, what you put in place to achieve it, and what you now plan to do in your retirement. For me I would like to retire in Thailand, and could probably do so at a similar age to when you retired, but would be interested in your input.

[tutsiwarrior]

I can relate to the topic as I've seen my health gradually decline over the past 10-12 years...one foot in the grave and the other onna banana peel...

I developed type 2 diabetes when I was 50 and I had a huge weight problem...really didn't eat in excess and I've always had a healthy diet with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, chicken and fish steamed or stir fried, etc...which I can control myself as I like to cook...both my granma and my dad had type 2...granma died at 84 and dad died at around 73 and he drank and smoked a lot and had bowel cancer...I had a colonoscopy done about 4 years ago and OK...

then, a few months ago I keeled over with a high blood pressure episode (in combo with uncontrolled diabetes said the doc: I had been traveling when it's hard to keep a med routine) and that scared the shit outta me...now taking it easy and on medication...the job I was in was stressful and I remember that I was in particularly stressful situation the afternoon when the incident happened...trying to control a meeting with a lot of shouting unruly asians and I didn't wanna be there...

I still gotta work and the next time out I'm gonna choose the assignment carefully...maybe I'll haveta come home again after a couple of months, who knows...but I see stress as the real killer...stressful employment is for young men...I'm 61, btw...

Edited January 8, 2012 by tutsiwarrior

[london]

Great post.

I am lucky in that I take no medications at all !

However, I did have "high" cholesterol and was placed on statin drugs around 17 years ago. I took them for about 2 weks and then many unwanted side effects started that my doctor (at the time) refused to believe was due to the medication.

Luckily, I mentioned this to my brother-in-law, a professor of medicine at a major teaching hospital, who said I should stop taking them immediately.....as I really didn't need them !!

His attitude was "you don't die from high cholesterol".

I stopped taking them that day and my doctor said "you cant! You are on them for life!" I told him where to go.

Since then, I have had no issues BUT the side effects have still not completely gone. Yes, after 17 years.

Also, its important to get checked for skin cancers. Any change in mole colour or size, or a strange looking one, or sore that doesn't heal, PLEASE get it checked. EVEN if its small. Early detection will save your life !

[Naam]

However, I did have "high" cholesterol and was placed on statin drugs around 17 years ago. I took them for about 2 weks and then many unwanted side effects started that my doctor (at the time) refused to believe was due to the medication.

Luckily, I mentioned this to my brother-in-law, a professor of medicine at a major teaching hospital, who said I should stop taking them immediately.....as I really didn't need them !!

i was diagnosed with high cholesterol in 1990 (22 years ago) and put on statins; felt uncomfortable and stopped taking the medicine after a couple of weeks. developed 15 years later shortage of breath and for more than 3 years daily intermittently chest pain. luckily went in 2008 for a scan and was told "it's 5 minutes to 12!"

three weeks later open heart surgery, four coronary and one aorta bypass. now on betablockers and statins for the rest of my life. DUH!

[Stubby]

Can I ask you how long ago you decided you were going to retire early, what you put in place to achieve it, and what you now plan to do in your retirement. For me I would like to retire in Thailand, and could probably do so at a similar age to when you retired, but would be interested in your input.

Hi expatdreamer

I think retirement is a very personal thing and means different things to different people. You need to ask yourself what budget you would be happy to live on, and also make sure you have enough put by for emergenices as well. Some people in Thailand might be happily living on 30,000 B a month but others wouldn't dream of living here on anything less than 150,000 B month, with variations in between.

The retirement lifestyle also has different meanings for different people. Some people are so active in their retirement they don't have enough hours in the day to pursue their hobbies and interests. For others, retirement might mean putting their feet up and getting away with doing as little as possible. Like i say, it's a very diverse concept and very personal to each individual.

Stubby

[tutsiwarrior]

someone said back in the early 80s that my 'bad' cholesterol was off the scale and that I needed to do something about it...I said shit as I was feeling alright, vigorous and could still be out in the water surfin' for 3 hours...

I'd hate to see what they would tell me now after a blood test...I probably should have died 10 years ago...

and I ain't got no thousands of dollars to handle treatment for the worst shit that would come down...just don't want to make a mess in my bed at home when it does...

but, I'm doin' OK; my little niece comes to visit me with great concern when I'm under the covers to ask: 'uncle tutsi mai sabai?' and I say: " I can be better if you say that you love me...' and then joy and good health reign supreme...

[KarenBravo]

If you like to eat healthy food for it's own sake. If you like to exercise because you enjoy it, then that's fine.

If you are doing it just because you want to live longer and are denying yourself things you enjoy, then, I think that is stupid.

Life is short and it's best to enjoy it.

There are just too many ways to die to prevent even 1% of them.

is there anything more sad than someone who has denied themselves the thing they like for better health dying in a road accident?

[london]

i was diagnosed with high cholesterol in 1990 (22 years ago) and put on statins; felt uncomfortable and stopped taking the medicine after a couple of weeks. developed 15 years later shortage of breath and for more than 3 years daily intermittently chest pain. luckily went in 2008 for a scan and was told "it's 5 minutes to 12!"

three weeks later open heart surgery, four coronary and one aorta bypass. now on betablockers and statins for the rest of my life. DUH!

Oh Naam.....the good thing is that you are here and (hopefully) living a life full of good times.

[london]

someone said back in the early 80s that my 'bad' cholesterol was off the scale and that I needed to do something about it...I said shit as I was feeling alright, vigorous and could still be out in the water surfin' for 3 hours...

but, I'm doin' OK; my little niece comes to visit me with great concern when I'm under the covers to ask: 'uncle tutsi mai sabai?' and I say: " I can be better if you say that you love me...' and then joy and good health reign supreme...

Life could be MUCH worse..... Good on you !! Go for it !!!

[puck2]

.......If anyone reading this and you are middle age man, pls can you post what health issues worry you most, and what you do, if anything, to stay in good shape and take care of yourself. .......

I don't go to bed because my father told me once:

"Most of people fade away in their bed"

........ but the people don't stop going there

[transam]

What ever age you are tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life, do what you want that makes you happy. There is no time scale for longevity unless you want to sit in a chair until your 100. My mum and dad were 85 and 88 when they called it a day.. Yearly check ups are a good idea for those things we don't think about though.

[jingjoe8]

Im 44 retired to thailand 2 years ago,play sport regularly such as squash at a high intensity,have no stress,but smoke drink and am a few kilos overweight.I paid 9900bht at the bph for an intensive 5hour examination,which included psa for prostate,liver,kidney functions,ekg, chest xray eye and hearing test,plus more.

My family has a history of heart troubles,any way the interesting thing that turned up was i was healthy for my age and reasonably fit,except for a small benign cyst on my eye and when i did the est which measures how your heart is affected at 85% capacity during sport,they found a small murmour,so what this means is i can play sport,but not at full on capacity,most of my family members are very fit and makes me wonder if this is the reason for the heart attacks..

[FBN]

The specific diagnosis of the murmer is needed before you can establish the implications of it. At this age, a lot of murmers are due to "mitral valve regurgitation" and is due to some calcification of the valve or just an overly enlarged left lower heart chamber which may be due to years of intensive excercise such as marathon running etc which leads to some leakage. This has no or very little consequence or impact on excercise or risk of heart attack. If, however, the murmer arises from the aorta valve, consequences may be different as underlying issues and causes are different. Get an echocardiogram done if not done already. Get a firm diagnosis and take it from there.

[lumply]

Interesting topic. I was put on one pill a day several years ago to stabalize my blood pressure which was at the higher end of the limit. My Doctor who was also my Aeromedical Doctor who issued me with renewals for my pilot license was perfectly happy about my overall health otherwise. High BP is the killer and it's normally familial. First question on the medical renewal form is about stroke and coronary problems within your immediate family. Followed by smoking and alcohol intake. My wife in the UK, and daughter are both nurses, one lecturer, the other research. Neither think it necessary for me to be on a daily light dose for elevation of BP. My aeromedic (USA)however told me about the millions of USA citizens who eventually die of heart because they have no basic knowledge of how their body works. Both my parents died, admittedly from a stroke at a reasonably advanced age, that was enough to trigger a warning bell. For many years later I passed my medicals and carried on flying (and still do). I am 62. Of course there are many things that can get you that have been mentioned, but start with your BP! A mate of mine, now retired was a doctor (Consultant)in the UK. He hated talking about work in the pub but occasionally did. He always used to take my pulse under the table and feel my thighs(?) 'You're fine, you won't die of a heart attack but maybe cancer, or shagging too many Thai girls' What a thing to say in a country pub!' Get an Omron Blood Pressure kit and check your BP regularly.

Edited January 12, 2012 by lumply