How Do You Cope/Plan To Cope In Thailand When 70+

[Old Croc]

In another thread someone suggested 70 was just middleaged, and It made me wonder how many older expats are living in Thailand and how they cope with life here when the body no longer does what the mind wants (or even perhaps when the mind goes missing!) There is no nursing home option readily available without going through the whole emigration process again.

Are you completely reliant on your partner to provide care, now, and onto the inevitable decrepitation and death? Do you have another plan? How will you cope towards the end? What steps are you taking preparing for this inevitability?

I know we have a number of members on Thaivisa aged 70+ who enjoy life and still sample all the delights Thailand has to offer as if they were in their 20s. (Ian!) How many of you are out there? I have noticed many expats here don't seem to make it out of their 60s. More than I would expect in my own country. Death comes through illness, misadventure, and at times, by their own hand. But how many are still forging on in their 70s, 80s, 90,s or more?

I'd like to hear from the oldies (beyond middleage) about how life is for you and how you think it will be as the years unfold.

(Incidentily I'm 63, have a number of medical issues which restricts my mobility, but plan to live here for many years yet. )

It would be nice to have a discussion without all the silly answers and tired ageist jokes, but I'm sure SC won't be able to help himself.

[Kwasaki]

What will be will be, do I have a plan about dying, no not really, I have made necessary arrangements for my wife when or if I peg it and that's it, it's a depressing thought I don't do.

To cut a long story my wife has said in the past she would look after me when I'm old but I don't really think about it like that, your as young as you feel for me, retiring early was something I planned to do for a long time, and Thailand made that possible.

I'm looking forward to my pension now due in June and will continue to get on doing the things I like and enjoy, on the list this year includes buying a another motorbike.

When I am 70+ or even 80+ will still try to keep myself fit as I can and I'll still take life as it comes as I have always done all my life, if I can remember how.

[thaiIand]

good business idea.. retirement home for farangs.

[jamescollister]

Think people should have a rough idea of how and when they are likily to peg it. It's all in the genes, if you have family history of long slow illnesses or mental degradation, then some sort of plan to spare the family from years of care may be a good idea.

Fortunately for me, barring accidents and wars, both sides of the family seem to just not wake up or drop dead, no planing required. Smoking and alcohol don't appear to have made much difference. Fathers side die in their late 60s, mothers side 90s. Which side I will follow, who knows and I will probably not know. One day here next day gone. Jim

[Mobi]

Maybe Thai Visa should open a new 'Oldies' sub forum, where we can discuss issue such as our own methods of warding off Altzheimer's...

I think you will find that there are many farangs here in their 70's 80's and even 90's... I personally have across quite a few when I have been out and about.

Surely, at the end of the day it is all down to money. If you have sufficient funds then however sick or infirm you become, you can afford to have the necessary medical attention and care. If your funds are limited, then as you start to become infirm and sickly, you should seriously consider re-repatriating to you home country before it is too late to do so.

As for retirement homes for farangs, I believe there are already such establishments in Thailand. Indeed I know for a fact that there are, as ten years ago I was considering investing in such a project and did some research on this subject.

[chiangmaibruce]

A very important topic & one which I recently wrote a paper about (see web site of the Australian Chamber of Commerce in Thailand). In that paper I mentioned a rather good facility I inspected here in Chiang Mai - Dok Kaew Gardens. I think this may be the first of the western style nursing homes here in Thailand. It only offers two levels of care at the moment (low & medium). Although it's small there are still places available ... it does very little marketing. They plan to enlarge it if the demand is there.

[samran]

good business idea.. retirement home for farangs.

Home? They have a city. It is called Pattaya.

[Ulysses G.]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

[Semper]

good business idea.. retirement home for farangs.

Home? They have a city. It is called Pattaya.

I thought it was CM.

On a serious note. One should plan ahead and save money for the inevitable old age. That's what I do (I'm 55)

Edited January 23, 2012 by Semper

[meom]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

How about a bottle of sleeping pills and a box of matches?

I can't really imagine myself withering away in a nursing home.

[Old Croc]

A very important topic & one which I recently wrote a paper about (see web site of the Australian Chamber of Commerce in Thailand). In that paper I mentioned a rather good facility I inspected here in Chiang Mai - Dok Kaew Gardens. I think this may be the first of the western style nursing homes here in Thailand. It only offers two levels of care at the moment (low & medium). Although it's small there are still places available ... it does very little marketing. They plan to enlarge it if the demand is there.

Interesting. I hadn't heard of it nor would I think have many others.

Would have to be better than a traditional western facility I would guess.

Another option to consider.

[Old Croc]

good business idea.. retirement home for farangs.

Home? They have a city. It is called Pattaya.

I thought it was CM.

On a serious note. One should plan ahead and save money for the inevitable old age. That's what I do (I'm 55)

Sometimes it doesn't matter about the money if there is no place to go.

If you are alone when the time comes, do you hire a family/carer to nurse you through? Will they care?

There was a thread on another forum (I won't plagerise it too much) about a guy in Issan dying of lung problems. He called it something like "Dead Man Walking". He found himself crammed into a crappy district hospital without an english speaker or competent doctor to be found. He had a lady with him whom he described as a carer and she helped as much as possible.

He narrated his difficulties (how to have a crap when he didn't have the strength to get out of bed) and the enormous communication problems. He died couragously, but alone in poor circumstances. No one should have to repeat it.

Edited January 23, 2012 by Old Croc

[Ulysses G.]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

How about a bottle of sleeping pills and a box of matches?

I can't really imagine myself withering away in a nursing home.

China White sounds like a more pleasant way to go than anything to do with matches.

[chris2004]

I am 58 and hope to live for many years yet (my father died at 89). I intend to care for myself as long as possible. When the time comes i can not, or it gets too painful, a tank of nitrogen is your best friend.

[nong38]

What will be will be, do I have a plan about dying, no not really, I have made necessary arrangements for my wife when or if I peg it and that's it, it's a depressing thought I don't do.

To cut a long story my wife has said in the past she would look after me when I'm old but I don't really think about it like that, your as young as you feel for me, retiring early was something I planned to do for a long time, and Thailand made that possible.

I'm looking forward to my pension now due in June and will continue to get on doing the things I like and enjoy, on the list this year includes buying a another motorbike.

When I am 70+ or even 80+ will still try to keep myself fit as I can and I'll still take life as it comes as I have always done all my life, if I can remember how.

I am with you on this one apart from the motor bike bit! Retirement homes in the UK take all your money, take away your choices and vices, thinks drinks and if you are still up to it a bit of hows your father KNow what I mean, nudge nudge, wink wink. I have the same as you by the look of it, my pension is May claim start in June. Happy days.

[nong38]

Maybe Thai Visa should open a new 'Oldies' sub forum, where we can discuss issue such as our own methods of warding off Altzheimer's...

I think you will find that there are many farangs here in their 70's 80's and even 90's... I personally have across quite a few when I have been out and about.

Surely, at the end of the day it is all down to money. If you have sufficient funds then however sick or infirm you become, you can afford to have the necessary medical attention and care. If your funds are limited, then as you start to become infirm and sickly, you should seriously consider re-repatriating to you home country before it is too late to do so.

As for retirement homes for farangs, I believe there are already such establishments in Thailand. Indeed I know for a fact that there are, as ten years ago I was considering investing in such a project and did some research on this subject.

If they are based on what I have seen in the west, I would give them a wide berth, once you are in the only way you come out is in a box.

[meom]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

How about a bottle of sleeping pills and a box of matches?

I can't really imagine myself withering away in a nursing home.

China White sounds like a more pleasant way to go than anything to do with matches.

They'll need something to light the funeral pyre with.

[travelmann]

Maybe Thai Visa should open a new 'Oldies' sub forum, where we can discuss issue such as our own methods of warding off Altzheimer's...

I think you will find that there are many farangs here in their 70's 80's and even 90's... I personally have across quite a few when I have been out and about.

Surely, at the end of the day it is all down to money. If you have sufficient funds then however sick or infirm you become, you can afford to have the necessary medical attention and care. If your funds are limited, then as you start to become infirm and sickly, you should seriously consider re-repatriating to you home country before it is too late to do so.

As for retirement homes for farangs, I believe there are already such establishments in Thailand. Indeed I know for a fact that there are, as ten years ago I was considering investing in such a project and did some research on this subject.

Golden Years home in BKK for example

[nong38]

A very important topic & one which I recently wrote a paper about (see web site of the Australian Chamber of Commerce in Thailand). In that paper I mentioned a rather good facility I inspected here in Chiang Mai - Dok Kaew Gardens. I think this may be the first of the western style nursing homes here in Thailand. It only offers two levels of care at the moment (low & medium). Although it's small there are still places available ... it does very little marketing. They plan to enlarge it if the demand is there.

If they're based on the western style, from what I have seen of the UK ones I would give them a wide berth, once inside the only way you come out is in a box, after all your money has been relocated. That is one of the reasons I am here, I want to retain my choices for as long as possible and when systems start to fail, I have my carer with me now, with all the extra benefits that brings. Edited January 23, 2012 by nong38

[zzaa09]

good business idea.. retirement home for farangs.

Bit of a racket, innit?

And a truer reflection of some societies vacancy from social and familial extensions.

Edited January 23, 2012 by zzaa09

[zzaa09]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

Sounds depressing and lonely....

[Ulysses G.]

From what I hear, it is neither one, but I would imagine it depends on the person.

[chiangmaibruce]

Interesting. I hadn't heard of it nor would I think have many others.

Would have to be better than a traditional western facility I would guess.

Yes indeed. When I used the term "western style" I just meant it was an alternative to previous options available in Thailand ... those mainly being a bed in a normal hospital ward or at home with a carer. Dok Kaew has a web site that tells you a little about the place. It is both similar and different to facilities in (for example) Australia. There is no enormous bond that has to be lodged when you move in, and you can bail out at one month's notice. Fees are obviously much lower than for a western facility. Similar in that they have (for example) minibus trips to different shopping centres once a week. They have very extensive grounds for walking or cycling ... it is based in a huge estate that was formerly a lepers colony

[attrayant]

The thought of shuffling off to a retirement home has always depressed me. For as long as I can remember I have liked the multi-generational household model that is traditional in many Asian countries, and that was one of the reasons I came to Thailand in the first place. I'm currently living in a house with somewhere between 8-12 inlaws (depends on what day it is and which relatives are passing through) and there are presently two older generations ahead of me in this house. I help take care of them now just as (I hope) the younger generations that are growing up in this house will care for me when I become elderly and infirm.

[Pseudolus]

Very interesting topic. Now, I am only 35, but my only desire to return to the UK is to see regularly my grandmother who is in a home there. She has developed basically the same condition Tom Hanks had in Castaway with the volley ball, in that she talks to and treats a picture of me when I was 10 as if it were alive "I must go home now, little Ad will be scared of the dark" kind of thing. She is 91. In the UK in that state it must be made bearable due to the family around you. Here I wonder if the lady you married 40 years younger than you, now pushing around a 85 yr old for a decade; could the care level get any worse? Yes. I guess it is the time when you find out if she really did love you or the cash and family security.

I see regularly one old boy in my local Big C; his missus leaves him in KFC as she does the shopping and he must be 85-90. The look on his face as he tries to reach the plastic straw on his coke is of pure malevolence. There is about 10 years of ingrained hatred in his face and each time I see him I am tempted to ask him if he wants me to pop to the Pharmacy for him for a bottle of something to ease his passing. He is beyond being able to of himself, and maybe he stays alive just to piss his missus off. He should be in a home though. For me? I will off myself long before that stage if nature does not do it first. It will take a pretty special girl for me not to do that.

[lungbing]

Hopefully I'll be like my dad. Up to age 89 he visited us here in Khon Kaen every year. He even climbed the 9-levels of Wat Nong Waen on his last visit. Then he said he didn't like the long flight so didn't come. Still active in the UK though. He had a massive stroke 10 days ago and died at 5am our time today aged 92 and a half. So from active to dead in ten days. I could cope with that. We fly back to UK on Thursday.

[jamescollister]

The thought of shuffling off to a retirement home has always depressed me. For as long as I can remember I have liked the multi-generational household model that is traditional in many Asian countries, and that was one of the reasons I came to Thailand in the first place. I'm currently living in a house with somewhere between 8-12 inlaws (depends on what day it is and which relatives are passing through) and there are presently two older generations ahead of me in this house. I help take care of them now just as (I hope) the younger generations that are growing up in this house will care for me when I become elderly and infirm.

Good point about the Thai way of doing things. Wife goes off most days to give Granddad and Grandmother some food. They live 4 huts away, have 7 sons still alive and are in their late 80s. People here don't seem to get sick, they just die in their own homes. Perhaps they are ill, but never really know what's wrong and pass away in their own time. Jim

[maxme]

What a depressing thread... I would say for all Thailand is worth when it comes to living... most old people either die alone or without proper care. You would need a developed country to make the politicians even think about elderly care. For me I would take my missus with me when we come of age and return to my home country.

It's maybe not the best and it's certainly less energetic than Thailand is sometimes but atleast there we won´t have to worry to be buried in unmarked graves.

People here do want to care but the simply don´t because for many it's survival for the fittest ... in other words , think about yourself. The malls, the shopping centers, the hi-so restaurants and cafes are all part of the shroud that is hiding Thailands real infrastructure and social problems. In one way it's not far from what is happening in the US but to be honest , how many here would care about farangs when we are not part of their country? If you have money and want to spend the remaining time here before you pass away, go ahead but for me I rather play it safe with my family than take risks like that. I don't see myslef as an 89 year old playboy, it just doesnt fit the picture.

[Old Croc]

Hopefully I'll be like my dad. Up to age 89 he visited us here in Khon Kaen every year. He even climbed the 9-levels of Wat Nong Waen on his last visit. Then he said he didn't like the long flight so didn't come. Still active in the UK though. He had a massive stroke 10 days ago and died at 5am our time today aged 92 and a half. So from active to dead in ten days. I could cope with that. We fly back to UK on Thursday.

Sorry about your loss, but as you say, active until near the end is the way to be.

[hellodolly]

A very important topic & one which I recently wrote a paper about (see web site of the Australian Chamber of Commerce in Thailand). In that paper I mentioned a rather good facility I inspected here in Chiang Mai - Dok Kaew Gardens. I think this may be the first of the western style nursing homes here in Thailand. It only offers two levels of care at the moment (low & medium). Although it's small there are still places available ... it does very little marketing. They plan to enlarge it if the demand is there.

Interesting. I hadn't heard of it nor would I think have many others.

Would have to be better than a traditional western facility I would guess.

Another option to consider.

I visited a friend who was staying there while he recuperated from a operation. Was impressed it is on about 50 acres and has lots of walking trails. A shuttle goes into the city for those who wish to go. A friend moved there and he needs no care. It was about 23,000 baht all in. When I was there they had not decided on what kind of TV they were going to get. They also had a section where they could keep the althimers in case they wandered off. All in All it looked like a good place for those in need. I don't know what the cost would be for those in need. I imagine it would be on a escalating scale.

They do have medical services on the property.