Sin sod exists a little here and there and since Thailand still is a developing country you would expect such feudal concepts are still in motion. Since the family obviously can´t understand what´s really going on and his decision comes first since he pays the most I would give up the attempt to please them. That they would say something I could take but that the other farang opens his mouth about how much I would pay? No sir... that I won´t take and since they are on his side, avoid the place... no matter how much your wife screams and begs but you have to go over this with your wife and tell her that enough is enough. You can´t stop her from visiting her own parents but that doesn´t mean you need to participate. I wouldnt under those conditions.

Walk away. Let your wife visit her mum. You? Enjoy your vacation on the beach or wherever. You don't owe anyone anything other than your wife. Work directly with your wife to determine support for your extended family if you chose to give any, then give it to her to dispense it. Your brother-in-law? Sounds like a wanke_r. Avoid him.

Ultimately your only real obligation is to your wife. Your a farang, which means no matter what you do, you won't be respected by the extended family who are expecting a "free lunch". So why bother. If you're treated like an foreigner and outsider, act like an foreigner and an outsider. Live your life by Western cultural standards.

Good luck!

Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought the Going rate" was 20,000 baht a year when you marry a Thai Lady?

^ Good post Canberra-Man.

I find all this paying relatives thing quite pathetic, really - and people believing it is the norm . . . how do all these men find women from Isaan . . . a faraway province . . .

Finding women from Isaan of any other part of Thailand isn't the problem and they do not have to be poor. Deciding to choose a girl with a poor family is up to them, their choice and their bed, they have to lie on it. There are limitless numbers of 'middle class' Thai ladies to choose from. What amazes me is I can't see the vast majority of them choosing someone from a comparably poor background in their own country!

Water seeks its own level.

^ Good post Canberra-Man.

I find all this paying relatives thing quite pathetic, really - and people believing it is the norm . . . how do all these men find women from Isaan . . . a faraway province . . .

Finding women from Isaan of any other part of Thailand isn't the problem and they do not have to be poor. Deciding to choose a girl with a poor family is up to them, their choice and their bed, they have to lie on it. There are limitless numbers of 'middle class' Thai ladies to choose from. What amazes me is I can't see the vast majority of them choosing someone from a comparably poor background in their own country!

Right, that was my point - the disproportionally high number of westerners with Isaan women. Not that many westerners decide to go to Isaan on their holidays when they first come to Thailand . . .

A post containing inappropriate comments has been removed.

Right, that was my point - the disproportionally high number of westerners with Isaan women. Not that many westerners decide to go to Isaan on their holidays when they first come to Thailand . . .

As 40% of the Thai population comes from Issan, it seems likely that 40% of foreigners will find an Issan wife.

Also to be considered in a developing country rural workers (Issan) tend to migrate to the bigger cities where foreigners will live.

Right, that was my point - the disproportionally high number of westerners with Isaan women. Not that many westerners decide to go to Isaan on their holidays when they first come to Thailand . . .

As 40% of the Thai population comes from Issan, it seems likely that 40% of foreigners will find an Issan wife.

Also to be considered in a developing country rural workers (Issan) tend to migrate to the bigger cities where foreigners will live.

The numbers vary between 25 and 40% - are you saying that 40% of foreigners have wives/partners from Isaan? I'd suggest the number is quite a bit higher, judging by what one reads here. Perhaps a poll would be interesting.

A post with inflammatory comments has been removed.

You're a busy chappy today, it seems!

Right, that was my point - the disproportionally high number of westerners with Isaan women. Not that many westerners decide to go to Isaan on their holidays when they first come to Thailand . . .

As 40% of the Thai population comes from Issan, it seems likely that 40% of foreigners will find an Issan wife.

Also to be considered in a developing country rural workers (Issan) tend to migrate to the bigger cities where foreigners will live.

The numbers vary between 25 and 40% - are you saying that 40% of foreigners have wives/partners from Isaan? I'd suggest the number is quite a bit higher, judging by what one reads here. Perhaps a poll would be interesting.

Poll done:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/536682-what-region-of-thailand-is-your-partner-from-poll/

(Hmm, many views, no votes)

What if she is borderline....comes from right on the border of isaan and thailand ??

What if she is borderline....comes from right on the border of isaan and thailand ??

Well, for argument's sake . . . we shall presume that Isaan is a part of Thailand . . . so she would either be from Isaan or the area adjacent.

Yea, yea . . . you're taking the piss

You have the perfect excuse not to linger at your in-laws place. Go for a day then stay away - if possible - not toooo far away. Or use the time to go around the country.