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Confession Time.

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At Christmas midnight mass in 1980 at St Vincent's RC Church, Rochdale, Lancashire, the Alterboy whos fart ripped through the church reducing the congregation to a roaring comedy audience belonged to me and not Aaron Russell whom I blamed it on to Father Stanley during the post fart inquest.

I apologise for the shame and embarrasment bought on the Russell family that Christmas and for the fact that Aaron got no presents; but seeing as I was due for a spanking new shiny BMX, I was f*cked it I was going to take the ride for that one!

:o Just hope Aaron Russell isn't reading this now

I was an angelic child and really have no confessions to make at all :D

:o Just hope Aaron Russell isn't reading this now

I was an angelic child and really have no confessions to make at all :D

I love It! :D

:D Just hope Aaron Russell isn't reading this now

I was an angelic child and really have no confessions to make at all :D

I love It! :D

I was very naughty...my sister was part of all my misdeed...

She kept a diary...that my mother used to read from time to time...

My father never allowed us to lie so I used to confess everything I was blame for ( I was always guilty, so I spend most of my childhood in my bedroom... who needs a Junior sister with a diary? :o)

I once smashed one of my Mum's best plates and blammed it on my brother.

My mother went crazy and gave him such a whack! She didn't buy him any sweets from the shop for three weekends either (we were only allowed sweets on weekends back then) :o

When i was about 10, I threw a Table Tennis bat at my brother, i missed and it went through the window of my bedroom. So my elder sister (she didn't want to get in trouble as she was looking after us :D ) my brother and I went outside and got all of the glass and placed it on the bedroom floor, along with a stone. We all then went school as if nothing happened. :o

My mother was always first home and she went livid, wondering why someone would want to throw a stone through our window and she cleaned the mess up. Good job my father wasn't the first home, he would have studied the trajectory of the stone and broken glass and sussed us out very quickly :D

I might tell my mum about it, this year.........nah i won't :D

When i was about 10, I threw a Table Tennis bat at my brother, i missed and it went through the window of my bedroom. So my elder sister (she didn't want to get in trouble as she was looking after us  :D ) my brother and I went outside and got all of the glass and placed it on the bedroom floor, along with a stone. We all then went school as if nothing happened. :o

My mother was always first home and she went livid, wondering why someone would want to throw a stone through our window and she cleaned the mess up. Good job my father wasn't the first home, he would have studied the trajectory of the stone and broken glass and sussed us out very quickly  :D

I might tell my mum about it, this year.........nah i won't  :D

I smashed the window once! Oopsie.

But I was actually caught out! Oooh the pain !

Yeah right, you want me to go to jail?

I don't need Kayo knowing I am just as bad as he is. :o

At Christmas midnight mass in 1980 at St Vincent's RC Church, Rochdale, Lancashire

My brothers and I used to tell everyone we were going to Christmas Eve midnight mass and then go out boozing all night instead!

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My mother who, like all mums everywhere, just knew it was me and since then I have never been allowed to set foot inside a Church.

Oddly enough my brother drinks with Aaron Russell and to this day he can't fathom out why he got booted off the alter and took the rap for it.

Mr B, confess all mate. You'll feel better for it all!!

I was nearly going to confess about that time I took one of those long classroom light bulb tube thingies that my dad had in the garage and pretended to be a jedi knight with it, whereupon it promptly splintered into a thousand pieces on my first strike against my mates bicycle. I had blamed it on my mate, but unfortunately my dad saw it happen, and promptly beat the living shit out of me, so i guess I did my time. Ah.... 1986.

Nearly confess.......

Until I read ....

Yeah right, you want me to go to jail?

I don't need Kayo knowing I am just as bad as he is. :D

So instead I shall say nothing. :o

I was nearly going to confess about that time I took one of those long classroom light bulb tube thingies that my dad had in the garage and pretended to be a jedi knight with it, whereupon it promptly splintered into a thousand pieces on my first strike against my mates bicycle. I had blamed it on my mate, but unfortunately my dad saw it happen, and promptly beat the living shit out of me, so i guess I did my time. Ah.... 1986.

Nearly confess.......

Until I read ....

Yeah right, you want me to go to jail?

I don't need Kayo knowing I am just as bad as he is. :D

So instead I shall say nothing. :o

I was nearly going to confess about that time I took one of those long classroom light bulb tube thingies that my dad had in the garage and pretended to be a jedi knight with it, whereupon it promptly splintered into a thousand pieces on my first strike against my mates bicycle. I had blamed it on my mate, but unfortunately my dad saw it happen, and promptly beat the living shit out of me, so i guess I did my time. Ah.... 1986.

Nearly confess.......

I will if you will. :o

Until I read ....

Yeah right, you want me to go to jail?

I don't need Kayo knowing I am just as bad as he is. :D

So instead I shall say nothing. :D

My sins are too numerous to tell :o

I'm saying nuffink!!!

image3.gif

Taoism: shit happens

Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit

Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it

Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us?

Atheism: I don't believe this shit

why did both Dr PP and Bebop quote my answer but neither cared to give me as little as a smilie.

_____??????????????

I spilt a pint once when I was little.

:D

Strewth, give yourself a couple of uppercuts Yorky. :D

It's a good job you didn't live in California and have Arnold Schwarzenegger as your Governor, when you committed such an idious crime :o:D

why did both Dr PP and Bebop quote my answer but neither cared to give me as little as a smilie.

_____??????????????

:o

I'm smiling, really I am!

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