transam Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Blethered if l can fathom it out. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Now if I can get her t stop watching the TV soaps it will be great. You need another tv in the bedroom or somewhere so you can watch a different program. My wife just bought a second tv and it's great. No more sulking because she can't watch Thai tv. Apologies if I misunderstand your reply. Could be that Thai soaps reduce you to apoplexy ( quite understandable ). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (edited) Double post Edited March 8, 2012 by thaibeachlovers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I got a note from one of the posters asking me for an epilog. So here we go... Wife is up and wife is down. The "Silent Treatment" lasted less than one day and by the following evening she was her old, happy self. Well, until she woke up the next day, and suddenly I have a quiet, unhappy wife on the verge of tears and quite uncommunicative. And again, by the evening she started to settle out and talk again. This morning she is fine. As probably is apparent, my wife has her demons to deal with, as do we all. I'll share this much: A mother who told my wife (as a child) that she didn't love her and then kicked her out of the house at 15 year old to go live with her father; her first son died at 7 years old on my wife's birthday. The son lived with an Aunt while my wife worked in Bangkok (not a bargirl guys so don't go there). 24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful. Yeah, she has her demons, but she's a fighter and has worked very hard to support her surviving son. To answer another poster, we've been together for 5 years. It's been good and bad, smooth and rocky. My wife is very un-Thai in that she thinks and plans. Yes! A Thai person who actually thinks into the future -- hard to believe. But there is a curse associated with that trait -- worry. So I have a wife who is ripped apart by the past, who has a love/hate relationship with a mother who is a nasty, hateful women (even folks in the village dislike her because she treats everyone bad), who is torn apart by grief and regret for her dead son, and who thinks too much. Yep, that's the gal I married. And she has developed a thick skin while outwardly (public side of her) she is a friendly, smiling, and one of the most service oriented Thais (at her business) that I have ever met. She's like one of those hard lemon drop candies (hard but sweet and sour on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside). But she can get her Thai Sulk on with the best of them. So we take one day at a time. I care for her, and she loves me like any Thai women does her man (no comment needed on this -- you know what I mean). We'll work our way though these little struggles and will both come out the other end stronger. And there you have it! I'd like to thank all the posters who replied. I re-read the entire thread this morning -- A lot of thoughtful, intelligent people out there for the most part. I appreciate it -- Cheers! <24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful.> Speaking from experience, some women never get "over" it. Something that is not understood by most that have never had to deal with that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 I got a note from one of the posters asking me for an epilog. So here we go... Wife is up and wife is down. The "Silent Treatment" lasted less than one day and by the following evening she was her old, happy self. Well, until she woke up the next day, and suddenly I have a quiet, unhappy wife on the verge of tears and quite uncommunicative. And again, by the evening she started to settle out and talk again. This morning she is fine. As probably is apparent, my wife has her demons to deal with, as do we all. I'll share this much: A mother who told my wife (as a child) that she didn't love her and then kicked her out of the house at 15 year old to go live with her father; her first son died at 7 years old on my wife's birthday. The son lived with an Aunt while my wife worked in Bangkok (not a bargirl guys so don't go there). 24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful. Yeah, she has her demons, but she's a fighter and has worked very hard to support her surviving son. To answer another poster, we've been together for 5 years. It's been good and bad, smooth and rocky. My wife is very un-Thai in that she thinks and plans. Yes! A Thai person who actually thinks into the future -- hard to believe. But there is a curse associated with that trait -- worry. So I have a wife who is ripped apart by the past, who has a love/hate relationship with a mother who is a nasty, hateful women (even folks in the village dislike her because she treats everyone bad), who is torn apart by grief and regret for her dead son, and who thinks too much. Yep, that's the gal I married. And she has developed a thick skin while outwardly (public side of her) she is a friendly, smiling, and one of the most service oriented Thais (at her business) that I have ever met. She's like one of those hard lemon drop candies (hard but sweet and sour on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside). But she can get her Thai Sulk on with the best of them. So we take one day at a time. I care for her, and she loves me like any Thai women does her man (no comment needed on this -- you know what I mean). We'll work our way though these little struggles and will both come out the other end stronger. And there you have it! I'd like to thank all the posters who replied. I re-read the entire thread this morning -- A lot of thoughtful, intelligent people out there for the most part. I appreciate it -- Cheers! <24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful.> Speaking from experience, some women never get "over" it. Something that is not understood by most that have never had to deal with that situation. Yeah, well we're in a unique club. She lost her first son 24 years ago, and I lost my 18 year old daughter (and my only child) in a one car accident 15 years ago this May 21st. That's not a club you want to belong too. And trust me, I understand exactly where she is coming from on that issue. There is no miscommunication with us on children we have outlived. And it's not a "women" thing. I'll never be over it either, but...I've come to terms with it better than she has. It would make it easier on me if the young man that was driving the car she died in would have the decency to talk with me, but it seems he has no spine to speak of. I don't know what to think of him: coward, craven, chicken-shit, pussy, nancy-boy! I can only imagine what will be going through his head the first time one of his children get in a car with another testosterone infused teenager who likes to drive fast. But not my problem. Now you probably understand why I have a bit of a thick skin. You don't go down that path and come back unscathed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jangot Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english Well, aren't you just the smarty pants, big congratulations. As far as I am aware, pidgeons make a sort of coo..coo noise, they do not converse in any form of English. Pidgin English, however, is a useful medium for people to use when they are not conversant with each other's language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english Well, aren't you just the smarty pants, big congratulations. As far as I am aware, pidgeons make a sort of coo..coo noise, they do not converse in any form of English. Pidgin English, however, is a useful medium for people to use when they are not conversant with each other's language. , nice one, must admit l have only met one Thai person who can speak real English, the rest are coo coo's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Mate, thanks for drawing the curtain on that one. Nice how you told us her story and believe me ... everyone has their demons. Maybe might encourage a few more folks to open up a little in the company of fellow posters. Bugger me blether ... look what you have started. Theblether can confirm that he has no intention of buggering you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeBlob Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I got a note from one of the posters asking me for an epilog. So here we go... Wife is up and wife is down. The "Silent Treatment" lasted less than one day and by the following evening she was her old, happy self. Well, until she woke up the next day, and suddenly I have a quiet, unhappy wife on the verge of tears and quite uncommunicative. And again, by the evening she started to settle out and talk again. This morning she is fine. As probably is apparent, my wife has her demons to deal with, as do we all. I'll share this much: A mother who told my wife (as a child) that she didn't love her and then kicked her out of the house at 15 year old to go live with her father; her first son died at 7 years old on my wife's birthday. The son lived with an Aunt while my wife worked in Bangkok (not a bargirl guys so don't go there). 24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful. Yeah, she has her demons, but she's a fighter and has worked very hard to support her surviving son. To answer another poster, we've been together for 5 years. It's been good and bad, smooth and rocky. My wife is very un-Thai in that she thinks and plans. Yes! A Thai person who actually thinks into the future -- hard to believe. But there is a curse associated with that trait -- worry. So I have a wife who is ripped apart by the past, who has a love/hate relationship with a mother who is a nasty, hateful women (even folks in the village dislike her because she treats everyone bad), who is torn apart by grief and regret for her dead son, and who thinks too much. Yep, that's the gal I married. And she has developed a thick skin while outwardly (public side of her) she is a friendly, smiling, and one of the most service oriented Thais (at her business) that I have ever met. She's like one of those hard lemon drop candies (hard but sweet and sour on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside). But she can get her Thai Sulk on with the best of them. So we take one day at a time. I care for her, and she loves me like any Thai women does her man (no comment needed on this -- you know what I mean). We'll work our way though these little struggles and will both come out the other end stronger. And there you have it! I'd like to thank all the posters who replied. I re-read the entire thread this morning -- A lot of thoughtful, intelligent people out there for the most part. I appreciate it -- Cheers! Speaking from experience, some women never get "over" it. Something that is not understood by most that have never had to deal with that situation. Yeah, well we're in a unique club. She lost her first son 24 years ago, and I lost my 18 year old daughter (and my only child) in a one car accident 15 years ago this May 21st. That's not a club you want to belong too. And trust me, I understand exactly where she is coming from on that issue. There is no miscommunication with us on children we have outlived. And it's not a "women" thing. I'll never be over it either, but...I've come to terms with it better than she has. It would make it easier on me if the young man that was driving the car she died in would have the decency to talk with me, but it seems he has no spine to speak of. I don't know what to think of him: coward, craven, chicken-shit, pussy, nancy-boy! I can only imagine what will be going through his head the first time one of his children get in a car with another testosterone infused teenager who likes to drive fast. But not my problem. Now you probably understand why I have a bit of a thick skin. You don't go down that path and come back unscathed. Connda, that's deep man. I've got an 18yr old and a 16yr old daughter. You got me thinking how I'd react if I were in your situation. Am not really sure, 'cos you sound strong. Good on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I got a note from one of the posters asking me for an epilog. So here we go... Wife is up and wife is down. The "Silent Treatment" lasted less than one day and by the following evening she was her old, happy self. Well, until she woke up the next day, and suddenly I have a quiet, unhappy wife on the verge of tears and quite uncommunicative. And again, by the evening she started to settle out and talk again. This morning she is fine. As probably is apparent, my wife has her demons to deal with, as do we all. I'll share this much: A mother who told my wife (as a child) that she didn't love her and then kicked her out of the house at 15 year old to go live with her father; her first son died at 7 years old on my wife's birthday. The son lived with an Aunt while my wife worked in Bangkok (not a bargirl guys so don't go there). 24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful. Yeah, she has her demons, but she's a fighter and has worked very hard to support her surviving son. To answer another poster, we've been together for 5 years. It's been good and bad, smooth and rocky. My wife is very un-Thai in that she thinks and plans. Yes! A Thai person who actually thinks into the future -- hard to believe. But there is a curse associated with that trait -- worry. So I have a wife who is ripped apart by the past, who has a love/hate relationship with a mother who is a nasty, hateful women (even folks in the village dislike her because she treats everyone bad), who is torn apart by grief and regret for her dead son, and who thinks too much. Yep, that's the gal I married. And she has developed a thick skin while outwardly (public side of her) she is a friendly, smiling, and one of the most service oriented Thais (at her business) that I have ever met. She's like one of those hard lemon drop candies (hard but sweet and sour on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside). But she can get her Thai Sulk on with the best of them. So we take one day at a time. I care for her, and she loves me like any Thai women does her man (no comment needed on this -- you know what I mean). We'll work our way though these little struggles and will both come out the other end stronger. And there you have it! I'd like to thank all the posters who replied. I re-read the entire thread this morning -- A lot of thoughtful, intelligent people out there for the most part. I appreciate it -- Cheers! Thank you for the sequel. It is touching to read. I won't go as far as theblether and say that someone is a moron if they think parents don't have any influence on their children, but I will say that all parents, good or bad, have a profound effect on their children when they are young and a little less so when the children reach puberty. When your kids are teenagers then their peers seem to have a greater affect on them. But, parents who have had a close relationship with their children, and keep their eyes open, can still influence the children greatly. One of the greatest things a parent can teach their children is there are consequences for all actions and you must accept responsibility for your actions. And, that you always have a choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Theblether can confirm that he has no intention of buggering you But I'm quite sure that theblether knows someone who will... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeraLynn Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Living in Thailand one can be grateful of a wife that only goes quiet every now and then. It is far better then having a wife that secretly shaves in the morning. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Living in Thailand one can be grateful of a wife that only goes quiet every now and then. It is far better then having a wife that secretly shaves in the morning. A half a dozen of my lady friends shave. And a few more just give it a little trim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Theblether can confirm that he has no intention of buggering you But I'm quite sure that theblether knows someone who will... Well there is a certain gang of ladyboys I know in Chiang Mai........... http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/536998-attack-by-ladyboys-in-chiang-mai/ Would you like to borrow a kilt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Living in Thailand one can be grateful of a wife that only goes quiet every now and then. It is far better then having a wife that secretly shaves in the morning. Depends where the hair is.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeyserSoze01 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Living in Thailand one can be grateful of a wife that only goes quiet every now and then. It is far better then having a wife that secretly shaves in the morning. Depends where the hair is.......... As long as it's not on their backs, I'm good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Glad to hear things are restored to semi-normal, Connda.... I would guess that you're going to get a lot of this up-and-down. If you can get her to identify the feelings as her own, and not caused by you- tell her to stick with them, even if it takes her a long time to process them. It will be better off for both of you long term and you'll grow together in the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I understand how it seems like the story is out of the blue, Connda- but as a suggestion, considering her age and what she said- perhaps she is feeling insecure about getting older? I mean, I don't know either of you so it may be that this is completely unhelpful advice, but perhaps you could do/say something to reassure here about the 'real' topic, which is her getting older, while ignoring the trivial thing that set her off. Maybe buy her some flowers and remind her of how much longer you both have, etc., etc..... just a thought. Good advice. She actually is dealing with (drum roll)...menopause! Hormone roller-coaster~~~~~ She actually called me up and asked me to buy her an Ice Coffee. Maybe she just "broke the ice" on the silent treatment. I'll toss a rose in and see what happens. I didn't read the rest of the thread, I confess. I saw this and thought oh god poor woman. You men can have no idea what menopause is like, much less the emotional fear it engenders. I am sure she has her demons to deal with, don't we all? BUT menopause will make everthing worse. Its hard enough dealing with the hot flashes and the emotional swings but add in the feelings of loss and of growing old and unattractive and its every woman's worst nightmare. I am not menopausal but I watched my mother suffer from a horrific one due to being taken off estrogen when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She would literally turn beet red and start sweating from hot flashes and a normally calm woman have mood swings that she never had before being taken off the estrogen. Take her to a doctor, if she doesn't have a history of breast cancer in her family she may want to consider a low dose HRT. She should up her soy intake, soy milk is a good one if she doesn't like tofu etc. And try to be understanding, this is very difficult time for every woman and a loving, thoughtful and considerate attitude from you will go very far in helping her deal with it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english Well, aren't you just the smarty pants, big congratulations. As far as I am aware, pidgeons make a sort of coo..coo noise, they do not converse in any form of English. Pidgin English, however, is a useful medium for people to use when they are not conversant with each other's language. , nice one, must admit l have only met one Thai person who can speak real English, the rest are coo coo's. You need to get out more. I can recall half a dozen who are perfectly conversant in English. Far better than my command of Thai. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyd Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 If you dated adults instead of grown children then childish situations like this would be less likely to happen. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english Well, aren't you just the smarty pants, big congratulations. As far as I am aware, pidgeons make a sort of coo..coo noise, they do not converse in any form of English. Pidgin English, however, is a useful medium for people to use when they are not conversant with each other's language. , nice one, must admit l have only met one Thai person who can speak real English, the rest are coo coo's. You need to get out more. I can recall half a dozen who are perfectly conversant in English. Far better than my command of Thai. She won't let me out, blethered if l know what to do about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) @ Transam She won't let me out, blethered if l know what to do about it. Just anagramed the above and got "belted her", blether woud be "belt her", whats all that about then? (Probably the wrong thread to be doing this on)...................... Edited March 9, 2012 by chrisinth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 @ Transam She won't let me out, blethered if l know what to do about it. Just anagramed the above and got "belted her", blether woud be "belt her", whats all that about then? (Probably the wrong thread to be doing this on)...................... Sorry Mr. Faulty, I'm from Barcelona. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 The wife and I have been together for more than fourteen years now. Communication has never been a problem as I spoke Thai long before I met my wife. There were times early on where she needed help in understanding her own feelings and reactions to things. I would delicately point out that one day I am the best husband in the world (her words) and the next day I might be indistinguishable from the worst husband in the world (her words were perhaps not so kind). I asked her to think about what had changed from one day to the next. Eventually she was able to determine that she was the one who had changed not me. Perhaps she was hungry, sleep deprived or hormonally impaired but I was still there by her side and steady as a rock. Sometimes my steadiness even bothered her as she felt unable to maintain the same level of control that I could. I reassured her that I have not always been the person I am today and I certainly wasn’t this way when I was her age. If anything she is growing faster than I did at her age and can now read the signs of impending moods without any help from me. Not sure I want her to become too much like me but we are both in agreement that her growth in this area has made life together more enjoyable. She has also brought out the best in me so we are an example of synergy at work. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egdirb Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Connda, If you were to replace "does your thai wife do this", with "does your 5 year old daughter do this", then it would be funny. However it is really quite pathetic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 If you dated adults instead of grown children then childish situations like this would be less likely to happen. Yah, but children are much more fun. They aren't devious and manipulating and they wear their heart on their sleeve. Of course, you DO have to wait in the school yard until they get out of class. And, making them snacks every day gets to be a bit of a pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 ^ a post in bad taste Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 ^ a post in bad taste True, but so many of these topics are in bad taste and it's more interesting to make fun of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I once had a girlfriend that gave me silence, if she was quiet for four days I would keep quiet for eight. This only happened once because she didn't realize how stubborn I could be and she didn't like it. Plus I enjoyed the peace and quiet. They soon snap out of it if you give them the same treatment, I wouldn't mind but she was an extreamly intelligent lady but a very common trait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
softgeorge Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I understand how it seems like the story is out of the blue, Connda- but as a suggestion, considering her age and what she said- perhaps she is feeling insecure about getting older? I mean, I don't know either of you so it may be that this is completely unhelpful advice, but perhaps you could do/say something to reassure here about the 'real' topic, which is her getting older, while ignoring the trivial thing that set her off. Maybe buy her some flowers and remind her of how much longer you both have, etc., etc..... just a thought. Umm if I said to my wife when she is moody, "I understand darling you are getting old, your breasts and rear end are drooping, you need to do something about those lines and grey hairs." I think I would be bolting down the road with every knife in the kitchen close behind. I think I will just enjoy the silence whilst it lasts enjoy a beer and watch the footy on the tely without the nagging. Just kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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