Does Your Thai Wife Do This...

[Sing_Sling]

Hearing stories like this make me say a silent thanks that wifey dislikes songkran as much as I do.

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

You do realise that this isn't really about Songkran?

[KIWIBATCH]

I have had a Thai GF or two.....LHD's I call them (long haired dictionarys).... any advice given by the GF (or wife in your case) is 100% sound....99% sound..... 1% advice....so "you no play water me" is a as I see it a call from her to you advising you that this songkran "you play water with me" or else.

Funnily and coincidentally I used to absolutely enjoy the days of silence imposed on me by the GF's...I never minded in the slightest

[lovelaos]

Even if Songkran itself were not the issue- and it might well be, considering its importance in families- the reaction to a moment of frustration or insecurity (I'm getting old, I don't have many Songkran's left, I feel bad, it must be someone's fault- it's my husband's fault! (because it's easier to blame it on him dysfunctionally than to accept I am angry about my family, or afraid of getting old)) leading to an old, formerly important but now inadequate response to conflict (I'll sulk because that's safe!)

When her indoors does the 'Lao sulk' it always boils down to family problems. I find it funny and usually appreciate the silence.

[connda]

About 25 years ago my sister convince me to attend a support group of adults who had shitty childhoods. I attended a few sessions with her; 2 hours of crying and moaning and finger-pointing and complaining about how their parents had wronged them.

I really did appreciate my sister taking me to those groups; I quit going after I decided that, "No, my emotional conditions are NOT my parents FAULT." I am who I am. Many factors produced the person I was 25 years ago, and the person I am today. The ONLY person responsible for my emotional state is -- Me!

My wife had a shitty childhood, and the only person responsible for her emotional state is -- Her.

Buck up and develop thicker skins gents. And by the way -- wife is back to normal today! Hurrah!!!

[culicine]

So how do you get them to be quiet for so long again?

Find a way to piss her off without knowing you pissed her off.

I sent mine to work in another province:)

[theblether]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

That being said, your personality then kicks in and it is up to you how you react or deal with the influences. Some people who have had difficult upbringings then play the part of the victim for the rest of their lives. Others use it as motivation and get on with life, and do fantastically well.

So the people that say buck up your ideas and get on with life......I'm on your side, but we are not all the same personality types.....so make space for other opinions too.

[canuckamuck]

How can anyone complain of silence in this country???

[connda]

How can anyone complain of silence in this country???

Unfortunately when mine goes into "Silent Mode", the TV usually go on, channel changed to a good, sappy Thai soap, and the volume goes up. Ha ha ha!

[connda]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

That being said, your personality then kicks in and it is up to you how you react or deal with the influences. Some people who have had difficult upbringings then play the part of the victim for the rest of their lives. Others use it as motivation and get on with life, and do fantastically well.

So the people that say buck up your ideas and get on with life......I'm on your side, but we are not all the same personality types.....so make space for other opinions too.

Agreed!

[IanForbes]

Blether: Exactly- the tough thing about emotional neglect and abuse is that it is harder to identify (even for the victim) as the problem, because it wasn't about fists & canes which are easily recognised as abusive in physical terms. It is more about ignoring and/or abusing the self. Unfortunately, I have the feeling that even in those bygone days, women's selves were not exactly encouraged by many men. One advantage some people in Thailand (and more people in other countries in the past) have had is access to a bigger extended family to seek help when the direct family were basket cases. As Thailand industrialises and this unrecognised resource vanishes with smaller family sizes (already happening) I have the feeling that overt emotional/mental illness will become more of a widespread, recognised problem here.

I agree with that, I got into a severe argument on a thread in regards to the effect that urbanization and industrialization would have on the family dynamic here in Thailand.

Some people refuse to accept that Thailand will eventually suffer the same calumnies that befell the West. The West was up until 200 years ago an agrarian society, even after urbanization started to take root poverty demanded families living in close proximity. It was wealth that broke families in the end. Money brings choices, and some people choose their own lifestyle wants in front of family.

Please indulge me this story......it says a lot.

I witnessed a thing four months ago that told me a lot about emotional neglect. I was in a bar in my home town, it was very quiet, I was waiting for a train. I was chatting to a couple of old pals when this guy walked in, and bought a fair amount of drink to take home.

When he was at the bar he asked a friend of mine, do you know a guy called Jimmy X ( made up name I won't name him ). The guy said yes, he's a w*nker, he's blah, blah, blah. I also knew the guy that he was talking about and I know the guy divided opinions in my home town.

The guy first guy seemed to take a succulent pleasure from hearing this highly negative opinion. I sat transfixed, trying to work out where this look of pleasure was coming from, then the penny dropped. I said " Excuse me, I know you, Jimmy X is your father ".

The guy looked at me and after a moment a shocked look came across his face, he recognized me from 30 years ago and realized that he had walked into a Lions Den. So I said to the guy, " I think you should apologize for embarrassing my friend here, why are you asking that question about your Dad, you know he divides opinion? ".

Answer?

" My Dad is on his death bed, he won't survive the night ".

I knew this guy when we were boys, he always fought for his wealthy fathers attention and was always slapped down. Now 30 years later he is spending the Eve of his death savouring the bitterness of his existence.

That's what emotional neglect does, you can drive a big flash car but you better cuddle your son.

That sad story "bites deeply", Blether. I can identify with it on a personal level. I know how the lack of my father's attention affected me. When I couldn't get his attention with something positive I turned to doing negative things... just for any sort of attention. It happens with dogs in exactly the same manner.

[chrisinth]

Blether: Exactly- the tough thing about emotional neglect and abuse is that it is harder to identify (even for the victim) as the problem, because it wasn't about fists & canes which are easily recognised as abusive in physical terms. It is more about ignoring and/or abusing the self. Unfortunately, I have the feeling that even in those bygone days, women's selves were not exactly encouraged by many men. One advantage some people in Thailand (and more people in other countries in the past) have had is access to a bigger extended family to seek help when the direct family were basket cases. As Thailand industrialises and this unrecognised resource vanishes with smaller family sizes (already happening) I have the feeling that overt emotional/mental illness will become more of a widespread, recognised problem here.

I agree with that, I got into a severe argument on a thread in regards to the effect that urbanization and industrialization would have on the family dynamic here in Thailand.

Some people refuse to accept that Thailand will eventually suffer the same calumnies that befell the West. The West was up until 200 years ago an agrarian society, even after urbanization started to take root poverty demanded families living in close proximity. It was wealth that broke families in the end. Money brings choices, and some people choose their own lifestyle wants in front of family.

Please indulge me this story......it says a lot.

I witnessed a thing four months ago that told me a lot about emotional neglect. I was in a bar in my home town, it was very quiet, I was waiting for a train. I was chatting to a couple of old pals when this guy walked in, and bought a fair amount of drink to take home.

When he was at the bar he asked a friend of mine, do you know a guy called Jimmy X ( made up name I won't name him ). The guy said yes, he's a w*nker, he's blah, blah, blah. I also knew the guy that he was talking about and I know the guy divided opinions in my home town.

The guy first guy seemed to take a succulent pleasure from hearing this highly negative opinion. I sat transfixed, trying to work out where this look of pleasure was coming from, then the penny dropped. I said " Excuse me, I know you, Jimmy X is your father ".

The guy looked at me and after a moment a shocked look came across his face, he recognized me from 30 years ago and realized that he had walked into a Lions Den. So I said to the guy, " I think you should apologize for embarrassing my friend here, why are you asking that question about your Dad, you know he divides opinion? ".

Answer?

" My Dad is on his death bed, he won't survive the night ".

I knew this guy when we were boys, he always fought for his wealthy fathers attention and was always slapped down. Now 30 years later he is spending the Eve of his death savouring the bitterness of his existence.

That's what emotional neglect does, you can drive a big flash car but you better cuddle your son.

That sad story "bites deeply", Blether. I can identify with it on a personal level. I know how the lack of my father's attention affected me. When I couldn't get his attention with something positive I turned to doing negative things... just for any sort of attention. It happens with dogs in exactly the same manner.

Mine can't use the keyboard that well, but I sort of understand them

[MediumPaceBowler]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say that most of the people you know are delighted to tell you about the "positive influences that they're parents have upon them". Do you mean "their" instead of "they're"? And did mean to say "had" instead of "have"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents." Do you mean "lucky"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact." Wrong. You are confusing environmental factors with simple genetics.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

Take my advice. Post less. Focus more on quality. Like it or not, you come across as a fool. And no, this has nothing to do with your parents.

[theblether]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say that most of the people you know are delighted to tell you about the "positive influences that they're parents have upon them". Do you mean "their" instead of "they're"? And did mean to say "had" instead of "have"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents." Do you mean "lucky"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact." Wrong. You are confusing environmental factors with simple genetics.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

Take my advice. Post less. Focus more on quality. Like it or not, you come across as a fool. And no, this has nothing to do with your parents.

You know what, it was a typo, and I missed it. I also regretfully missed a couple of grammatical points too.

I made a point of not answering to anyone directly, so why are you getting so upset? Have I touched a nerve?

Anyway, you think I am a fool for believing that your parents influence your life.

I think that is a moronic statement you have made there, and this time it is directed at you

Edited March 6, 2012 by theblether

[MediumPaceBowler]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say that most of the people you know are delighted to tell you about the "positive influences that they're parents have upon them". Do you mean "their" instead of "they're"? And did mean to say "had" instead of "have"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents." Do you mean "lucky"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact." Wrong. You are confusing environmental factors with simple genetics.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

Take my advice. Post less. Focus more on quality. Like it or not, you come across as a fool. And no, this has nothing to do with your parents.

You know what, it was a typo, and I missed it. I also regretfully missed a couple of grammatical points too.

I made a point of not answering to anyone directly, so why are you getting so upset? Have I touched a nerve?

Anyway, you think I am a fool for believing that your parents influence your life.

I think that is a moronic statement you have made there, and this time it is directed at you

Time for bed, little Blether.

Tomorrow, a new days awaits. Maybe you can make 10 more posts; maybe you can make 20.

My father used to laugh at uneducated pricks. He would have found you very amusing.

I personally choose not to laugh. I'm more philosophical.

[theblether]

.

[smokie36]

Time for bed, little Blether.

Tomorrow, a new days awaits. Maybe you can make 10 more posts; maybe you can make 20.

My father used to laugh at uneducated pricks. He would have found you very amusing.

I personally choose not to laugh. I'm more philosophical.

I have to wonder at your motivation for attacking theblether over this. The points he has made are astute.

I've seen plenty of my friends situations back in my teens and winced...hardly a fair start in life but there is plenty of time to move on as well. Sadly a few fell by the wayside for one reason or another already.

Sad really.

[theblether]

Blether: Exactly- the tough thing about emotional neglect and abuse is that it is harder to identify (even for the victim) as the problem, because it wasn't about fists & canes which are easily recognised as abusive in physical terms. It is more about ignoring and/or abusing the self. Unfortunately, I have the feeling that even in those bygone days, women's selves were not exactly encouraged by many men. One advantage some people in Thailand (and more people in other countries in the past) have had is access to a bigger extended family to seek help when the direct family were basket cases. As Thailand industrialises and this unrecognised resource vanishes with smaller family sizes (already happening) I have the feeling that overt emotional/mental illness will become more of a widespread, recognised problem here.

I agree with that, I got into a severe argument on a thread in regards to the effect that urbanization and industrialization would have on the family dynamic here in Thailand.

Some people refuse to accept that Thailand will eventually suffer the same calumnies that befell the West. The West was up until 200 years ago an agrarian society, even after urbanization started to take root poverty demanded families living in close proximity. It was wealth that broke families in the end. Money brings choices, and some people choose their own lifestyle wants in front of family.

Please indulge me this story......it says a lot.

I witnessed a thing four months ago that told me a lot about emotional neglect. I was in a bar in my home town, it was very quiet, I was waiting for a train. I was chatting to a couple of old pals when this guy walked in, and bought a fair amount of drink to take home.

When he was at the bar he asked a friend of mine, do you know a guy called Jimmy X ( made up name I won't name him ). The guy said yes, he's a w*nker, he's blah, blah, blah. I also knew the guy that he was talking about and I know the guy divided opinions in my home town.

The guy first guy seemed to take a succulent pleasure from hearing this highly negative opinion. I sat transfixed, trying to work out where this look of pleasure was coming from, then the penny dropped. I said " Excuse me, I know you, Jimmy X is your father ".

The guy looked at me and after a moment a shocked look came across his face, he recognized me from 30 years ago and realized that he had walked into a Lions Den. So I said to the guy, " I think you should apologize for embarrassing my friend here, why are you asking that question about your Dad, you know he divides opinion? ".

Answer?

" My Dad is on his death bed, he won't survive the night ".

I knew this guy when we were boys, he always fought for his wealthy fathers attention and was always slapped down. Now 30 years later he is spending the Eve of his death savouring the bitterness of his existence.

That's what emotional neglect does, you can drive a big flash car but you better cuddle your son.

That sad story "bites deeply", Blether. I can identify with it on a personal level. I know how the lack of my father's attention affected me. When I couldn't get his attention with something positive I turned to doing negative things... just for any sort of attention. It happens with dogs in exactly the same manner.

The unfortunate postscript to that story was that the father died at 4.00am on a Thursday morning, and was buried on the Friday morning. He was a prominent Catholic in our area, the Scottish tradition is the burial takes place 4 days after the death. I had called my father and told him of the imminent death, and my father and a few other his friends were prepped up to attend the funeral.

I made a call to find out the arrangements on the Sunday, only to be told he had buried already. The son denied many people a chance to doff their caps in his bitter rush to bury his father.

Instead of being an even paced calm event ( the funeral ) , it has left a ripple that will stay in people's minds forever. No one can believe the actions of the son. Put it this way, enough of a ripple for me to be telling you the story, and no doubt several people shaking their heads at what they are reading.

Anyway, this Saturday I'm taking my Dad to see Ricky Burns fight in a world title boxing match. Happy days!! Build the good memories while you can.

Edited March 6, 2012 by theblether

[smokie36]

Denying his father a proper wake is an awful thing really. Sad to hear and a hint of cowardice in there as well I would reckon.

[theblether]

Denying his father a proper wake is an awful thing really. Sad to hear and a hint of cowardice in there as well I would reckon.

That's my thoughts too Smokie............cowardly and malicious. Vindictive??

The thing is though, poverty wasn't at the root of it, the father was a successful publican all his life. That was what caused a lot of the enmity towards him in my town. Some people were jealous, some had been barred out, blah, blah,

Anyway if I could write a book explaining the dynamics of human relationships I would be a billionaire!!

[David48]

Time for bed, little Blether.

Tomorrow, a new days awaits. Maybe you can make 10 more posts; maybe you can make 20.

My father used to laugh at uneducated pricks. He would have found you very amusing.

I personally choose not to laugh. I'm more philosophical.

I have to wonder at your motivation for attacking theblether over this. The points he has made are astute.

I've seen plenty of my friends situations back in my teens and winced...hardly a fair start in life but there is plenty of time to move on as well. Sadly a few fell by the wayside for one reason or another already.

Sad really.

Clicking the like this box on Smokies’ comment wouldn't cut for me this time and have to agree with him why would you attack theblether over this?

Plus agreeing with Smokie that the points he (theblether) made are astute.

In addition not only was he (theblether) able to identify the flaws in his parentage by his father (direction, not guiding), he was man enough to admit to those same parenting flaws and possibly overcompensating by not directing enough.

No-one is perfect as a parent, we all muddle through the best we can.

For me, one of the test of manhood is not the amount of beer Scottish single malt whisky to can down and still stand up, but to have the smarts to identify your own faults, have the emotional intelligence to correct them and have the balls to admit them.

Ole blether manned up there.

[theblether]

Time for bed, little Blether.

Tomorrow, a new days awaits. Maybe you can make 10 more posts; maybe you can make 20.

My father used to laugh at uneducated pricks. He would have found you very amusing.

I personally choose not to laugh. I'm more philosophical.

I have to wonder at your motivation for attacking theblether over this. The points he has made are astute.

I've seen plenty of my friends situations back in my teens and winced...hardly a fair start in life but there is plenty of time to move on as well. Sadly a few fell by the wayside for one reason or another already.

Sad really.

Clicking the like this box on Smokies’ comment wouldn't cut for me this time and have to agree with him why would you attack theblether over this?

Plus agreeing with Smokie that the points he (theblether) made are astute.

In addition not only was he (theblether) able to identify the flaws in his parentage by his father (direction, not guiding), he was man enough to admit to those same parenting flaws and possibly overcompensating by not directing enough.

No-one is perfect as a parent, we all muddle through the best we can.

For me, one of the test of manhood is not the amount of beer Scottish single malt whisky to can down and still stand up, but to have the smarts to identify your own faults, have the emotional intelligence to correct them and have the balls to admit them.

Ole blether manned up there.

Your too nice......the best of it is too that I have a cracking relationship with my Dad, managed to talk my mother into allowing me to take him on holiday to Thailand last year.

Gentlemen, as you know, the 1000 mile rule applies, and what a holiday that was!!

OP, is your wife still sulking??

[David48]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

(just removing the moronic quotes)<snip>

You say "Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact." Wrong. You are confusing environmental factors with simple genetics.

<snip> (just removing more moronic quotes)

Actually no, I agree with thebether on this as well.

Take the case of an adopted child who was adopted out at birth, or at an age before they could remember their parents.

Many go on to search (sometimes life long) for their biological patent/s.

Some might feel abandoned and hence more insecure then otherwise they might have developed.

This search for your biological lineage extends to sperm donors because now those children produced from the donation seek out their biological father.

Your parents, both biological and parental (environmental), which are most time one and the same, have a huge influence on who we are and how we react.

[tutsiwarrior]

This is getting back more to the question of 'why' - though perhaps I am thinking too seriously here. What one sees in the education system here, at the best of times- is frightening, in terms of what kinds of childhoods people are having. Remember that it has only been in the last few generations that any real notion of 'child abuse' has even existed in more 'advanced' countries. It has been even more recent that awareness of the effects of emotional neglect and abuse have begun to be understood. And Thailand is essentially at the beginning of that process at best- if the country is lucky they will at least eliminate routine child trafficking and prostitution within a generation or two; preventing routine poverty will probably be next, and only then (3 or 4 generations ahead) will we see a good start on eliminating abuse in the home. They've only just stopped corporal punishment in the schools, and that hasn't received widespread support everywhere.

Why do I bring this up? A lot of you will be dating women who grew up in situations that were generations less enlightened with respect to how children are raised, than you were in your childhoods, even if they got lucky and received the best opportunities that that generation could give them. For better or for worse, what happens in a long term intimate relationship is that often we recreate important relationships in our past, especially our childhoods. As a result, you (and they) may often be reacting to each other the way you did towards other family members from your past. In their cases, it may be likely that it was not particularly safe to speak out directly or discuss things openly (especially feelings). In some cases, the only safe option for protest was silence and withdrawal. Even though it may not be warranted in your case and as a result of your behaviour, it is how people from some kinds of backgrounds learn to deal with any conflict in a dangerous or intolerant family environment. Since that's the way they dealt with it in the past, that's how they'll deal with it now.

Apart from therapy which may not really be otherwise necessary or helpful, the best advice I can give is to make it repeatedly clear that you are NOT intolerant to their concerns, that you WANT communication, and that it IS safe for them to talk about their feelings directly. That still doesn't guarantee that they will want to or be able to change, but if there is any chance of it that is what I think will probably work.

One of my early partners here was from an abusive past situation that has emotionally scarred him. He would get incredibly angry at me at times for what seemed to me no reason; at first, being confused, I would apologise and try to reason with him- until I realised that it really wasn't about me. Finally I told him that was how I felt: he was punishing me for anger he felt towards other people and though I was willing to be supportive, I wasn't willing to accept abuse, and it was up to him to figure out what was going on. To his credit, he did wind up (on his own initiative, not at my suggestion) seeing a counsellor for a while. Now, he was relatively younger than the women most posters are talking about here, and also not a woman in a society that has been more oppressive in some ways to women, so I don't suggest being as direct as I was. But I hope that my comments have some relevance and will help some posters here, all kidding aside.

great post, IJWT...I've been with my wife's family for 10 years and have had the opportunity to observe the kids and their upbringing...sorta like pre-tutsi and post-tutsi...with the pre-prosperity era the kids are sullen and unresponsive and have taken the first opportunity to run off to 'better pastures' with limited degrees of success...my young niece whose been living in our house all of her life, post tutsi, gets right in yer face when she's pissed off as she reckons she's entitled and I have high hopes for her as well as for her 15 y.o. cousin who has been with us since she was 6 y.o., doing well in school and with high expectations...

in the past the parents in our large and close knit extended family just didn't have the resources and the time to look after the children properly as they were too busy working in the rice paddies for thb100 per day...can't really blame them for that...my wife is from the old school and is hard edged in more ways than I want to acknowledge.. but, she's smart and resourceful and recognizes the opportunity for the younger ones to develop differently...

yeah...and I useta get THE SILENT TREATMENT when we first started out but that was before we got our footings with each other...for us it'll be 12 years of marriage in July...I wonder what the OP has got...

there was an amusing thread on the same subject on this forum back in 2003...too bad it's been lost...'it ain't what they say...it's what they don't say: THE SILENT TREATMENT...'

[chrisinth]

Most of the people I know are delighted to tell you about the positive influences that they're parents have upon them. I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents.

I did point out that my fathers only real flaw was that he was too Directional, he wanted to run my life for me. As a result of that I was too easy on my kids.

Anyone pretending that their parents had no influence on them is a moron.

Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say that most of the people you know are delighted to tell you about the "positive influences that they're parents have upon them". Do you mean "their" instead of "they're"? And did mean to say "had" instead of "have"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "I was very lucky, very very laucky with parents." Do you mean "lucky"?

Why do you use the word "moron"?

You say "Even people that never knew their parents would have been influenced by that fact." Wrong. You are confusing environmental factors with simple genetics.

Why do you use the word "moron"?

Take my advice. Post less. Focus more on quality. Like it or not, you come across as a fool. And no, this has nothing to do with your parents.

Oh, oh, spelling police alert! Looks like another academic on the prowl.

I think what theblether means is A person of subnormal intelligence and not a person from the city in Argentina, to the west of Buenos Aires.

I can see where your confusion comes from.

[apetley]

Hearing stories like this make me say a silent thanks that wifey dislikes songkran as much as I do.

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

You do realise that this isn't really about Songkran?

As songkran was mentioned it's a great excuse to vent on one of wifeys and mine pet peeves. I'll also add that I'm infinitely grateful my Thai wife doesn't 'think too much'.:-)

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

Edited March 7, 2012 by apetley

[chrisinth]

@theblether and all positive responders

Thanks for sharing your views, some very valid observations in this piece of the thread and worthy of sharing. (I'm serious about that).

However, back to the OP. I think we have all been in Thailand for at least a few years now, and have recognised some (certainly not all) of the traits of the female Thai both defensive and offensive. Personally, I love both sides, and as in this thread like the challenge of figuring it out.

There are times however that you recognise that just because they walk like us, talk like us and generally act like us, doesn't neccessarily mean they are the same species.

One of those tricks of nature, but as long as you are enjoying figuring it out, it is a pleasant experience.

For any of the other species reading this, I am only joking, we couldn't do without you.

[Litlos]

On the original problem I have a solution that works and nationality is not a problem She gives you 2 days of the silent treatment, no problem, when she decides to start talking agian give her the same time of silent. Pee's them off something chronic, but is effective.

Cheers

[connda]

I got a note from one of the posters asking me for an epilog. So here we go...

Wife is up and wife is down. The "Silent Treatment" lasted less than one day and by the following evening she was her old, happy self. Well, until she woke up the next day, and suddenly I have a quiet, unhappy wife on the verge of tears and quite uncommunicative. And again, by the evening she started to settle out and talk again. This morning she is fine.

As probably is apparent, my wife has her demons to deal with, as do we all. I'll share this much: A mother who told my wife (as a child) that she didn't love her and then kicked her out of the house at 15 year old to go live with her father; her first son died at 7 years old on my wife's birthday. The son lived with an Aunt while my wife worked in Bangkok (not a bargirl guys so don't go there). 24 years later and the grief and regret she experiences is truly sorrowful. Yeah, she has her demons, but she's a fighter and has worked very hard to support her surviving son.

To answer another poster, we've been together for 5 years. It's been good and bad, smooth and rocky. My wife is very un-Thai in that she thinks and plans. Yes! A Thai person who actually thinks into the future -- hard to believe. But there is a curse associated with that trait -- worry. So I have a wife who is ripped apart by the past, who has a love/hate relationship with a mother who is a nasty, hateful women (even folks in the village dislike her because she treats everyone bad), who is torn apart by grief and regret for her dead son, and who thinks too much. Yep, that's the gal I married. And she has developed a thick skin while outwardly (public side of her) she is a friendly, smiling, and one of the most service oriented Thais (at her business) that I have ever met. She's like one of those hard lemon drop candies (hard but sweet and sour on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside). But she can get her Thai Sulk on with the best of them. So we take one day at a time. I care for her, and she loves me like any Thai women does her man (no comment needed on this -- you know what I mean). We'll work our way though these little struggles and will both come out the other end stronger. And there you have it!

I'd like to thank all the posters who replied. I re-read the entire thread this morning -- A lot of thoughtful, intelligent people out there for the most part. I appreciate it -- Cheers!

Edited March 8, 2012 by connda

[David48]

Mate, thanks for drawing the curtain on that one.

Nice how you told us her story and believe me ... everyone has their demons.

Maybe might encourage a few more folks to open up a little in the company of fellow posters.

Bugger me blether ... look what you have started.

[chrisinth]

Mate, thanks for drawing the curtain on that one.

Nice how you told us her story and believe me ... everyone has their demons.

Maybe might encourage a few more folks to open up a little in the company of fellow posters.

Bugger me blether ... look what you have started.

Careful what you say there David, "Bugger me blether"; I have seen a new side of our Scottish brethren in this post, but don't want to go further than that