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A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and

never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and

comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never

thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will

enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most

intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the

most beautiful man in the room and will enable him to be the most

confident, sexy, seductive, invincible ...

.... No wait... I'm thinking of alcohol.

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