The Old Guys Are Funny

[KeyserSoze01]

Ah, youth is wasted on the young.

[theblether]

Ah, youth is wasted on the young.

If you had your time again you would do some damage huh Keyser?

That musical interlude I stuck in earlier is a bit comical, but at the end it boils down to a lifetime of love, I think some young people think that love is exclusive to them, obviously not so. Until your a father you can't know what it is to be a father, but all of us that were lucky to know our fathers know there is an indescribable magnetism and love there. If we are lucky we have good dads, I'm lucky, I have a cracking relationship with my Dad, but to be honest with I clashed with him from the age of 2 months till the age of 20.

I'm not exaggerating when I say about 2 months, my Dad worked away and my Mum said that when he came home I treated him like a stranger from an early age. He's no stranger now, and he will be going to Chiang Mai with me later in the year. A two week holiday with your Dad? I'm a lucky boy, anyway I digress.......that magnetism in a child / father relationship doesn't depend on age, it's nature's work. Older fathers can bring a gentleness and wisdom with them that younger fathers don't have.

Back to the love subject, almost all of us have loved and lost, the way we lost is different in many cases but the old saying about "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" is true. However sometime's love is below your nose and you can't see it.

I own a shop, and you know I blether a lot ( talk a lot ), but not only do I blether, I listen and remember too. I was talking to an elderly lady in my shop one day and the subject came round to the best time of your life........here's what she said.

" The best time of my life was when I was bringing up my kids, I loved every day, every minute of it. I had 4 kids under the age of 10 and never a minute to myself, but every day brought a new drama, a new laugh, a new smile.............

The worst day of my life was when my youngest daughter left to go to university, I knew it was coming and I feared it, an empty nest after 28 years, I was devastated at the idea of it, it was all I could do not to cry every day before she left, but on the day she left there was no consoling me, I cried buckets for losing her and losing that last link with my families childhood................

My husband tried his best to comfort me, and was getting nowhere, he eventually talked me into going for lunch at the bowling club. I sat there quietly and as quick as I could I got home to continue my blubbing....................

We got into the house, my husband hung my jacket up and asked if I wanted a cup of tea, he went through to the kitchen and rattled about for a while, and came back with the best china and a plate of biscuits, he sat it on the table in front of me and settled himself down too.........he looked at me and said..........

""Oh well, it looks like its only me and you darling""

The lady went on to say.........

You know, I've got a good man, I;ve always had a good man, but in the rush after the kids I forgot how good a man he was. I won't deny that was the worst day of my life, my kids were my life, but you know that was the day I got my husband back........

Now my kids come in with the grandkids and I'm happy to see them arrive, and delighted to see them leave, and after they go I close the door and my man is still there, still looking after me, just being there for me..........

So that day was a bad day, but I got my husband back so it was a great day too........no wonder you men can't figure us out" she said with her beautiful smile cracking across her 75 year old face.

There is no time limit on love, to try to second guess other people is a waste of your time and effort, live your life to your standards and take your chances, it's as simple as that.

[David48]

Ah, youth is wasted on the young.

<snip>

There is no time limit on love, to try to second guess other people is a waste of your time and effort, live your life to your standards and take your chances, it's as simple as that.

It's been said that theblether (sometimes) lacks empathy.

Might end up as light snack for a Soi Dog.

But I don't think it could ever be said that he lacks emotion and the ability, through his musings, to let us walk a mile in other peoples shoes.

That ability is an uncommon and welcome trait.

.

[macksview]

another superb one blether

[theblether]

another superb one blether

Thanks very much..........may I say that there is a Well of stories like this throughout Thaivisa, in as much as we can go to war with each other, more commonly people will rally round and help.

The amount of experience of life amongst members here is quite phenomenal.

The Well of Goodwill never runs dry..........that is the greatest strength of Thaivisa.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

some re-born teenager, who feels that it is just wrong to reproduce with someone 30 years their junior simply to prove an imaginary point either to themselves or the world at large.

I think you are describing yourself, or need to be more careful with your grammar.

What I do know is that in a demographic of highly fragile relationships, to suggest that it's perfectly fine to have a child which will live the majority of it's life fatherless is just wrong.

...

I can understand the "Company" angle, but company is one thing, bringing a new life into the world when the father could well be dead by the time the life reaches puberty is just plain wrong.

Why is that "wrong"? For thousands of years most kids have lost both their parents before they ever hit full adulthood. Only in the past hundred years in developed countries has otherwise become the norm. And just because something is "normal" (= conforming to expectations, averages) doesn't align it with some definition of morality.

> I for one can't understand it for the life of me.

No one cares if you understand or not. Seems to me you're not really trying to, too quick to judge.

It would be much more accurate and helpful to productive communication if you could differentiate between your subjective opinion and objective facts backed up by evidence.

You are very judgmental and over-generalize about "responsibility", to the point where it is obvious you see yourself as superior to most other people from a "moral" POV. You thereby cut yourself off from many genuine relationships, as much as those that try to purchase the same.

Nothing worse than kids being picked up from school by a parent who looks like their grandparent, i remember a few kids at my old school that used to cringe with embarrassment. They were always over the top parents, ridiculous fashion sense for the kid, over the top strict, basically made the kid an outcast from the rest, which in turn made them withdrawn and a little "odd".

Nothing worse eh?

What a bunch of hyper-judgmental tripe.

Fashion sense? That's important huh? Not being the same as everyone else? I sure do wish that for my kids, god forbid they fit in with what I see of today's mainstream society.

From this I'd say I'd be ashamed as a parent if I produced kids that you approved of.

Love and accept others more. Judge less. Live and let live.

[anterian]

At the age of 76 I would not mind more kids, but on one condition, they should be born able to talk, feed and dress themselves, and use the toilet. The ability to make a good cup of coffee would be a bonus.

[theoldgit]

At the age of 76 I would not mind more kids, but on one condition, they should be born able to talk, feed and dress themselves, and use the toilet. The ability to make a good cup of coffee would be a bonus.

I hope that when I reach the ripe age of 76, I will still be able to do all of those things.

[boggle]

^{Heh Heavey Drinker.}

^{Remeber saying this. "At times it can be worth putting yourself in other people's shoes no matter how bad a day you may have had."}

[anterian]

At the age of 76 I would not mind more kids, but on one condition, they should be born able to talk, feed and dress themselves, and use the toilet. The ability to make a good cup of coffee would be a bonus.

I hope that when I reach the ripe age of 76, I will still be able to do all of those things.

I don't know your age but remember feeling old is 80% mental and 20% physical. Stay young in mind and you'll stay young longer in body.

[theoldgit]

With my mental age I will probably live to be about 150 then, just hope all me bits keep going that long.

[IanForbes]

I can only contribute some ancillary info to this topic but it's about children being embarrassed by an older parent. So ridiculous and so wrong.

I (67) cannot have more children nor can my lady (35). She has two beautiful girls aged 5 and 7 from a failed marriage to a Thai man who never visits, calls or pays any support. These girls call me Daddy - I love them and I know they love me. I support them. They are the happiest two little girls I know and are always clinging to me, holding my hand and when I have picked them up at school, come running to me with big hugs. I don't think they are one bit embarrassed. Why? Well it's the oldest of reasons - they know I love them dearly and at the end of the day, that's the only thing that matters to children.

Good post, Headgame. I agree with you. Children have to be TAUGHT to be judgemental. Most children want to be shown love and respect. I've helped out a Thai family for almost 10 years. I changed the two younger children's diapers when they were babies. Now they are teenagers and we still have a close relationship, even if their mother drives me crazy if I stay with them any more than a few days a year. I take them on holidays and try to make each day fun doing things that THEY want to do. They've both been water babies since I've known them, so I always try to take them some place they can swim or play in the water. It gives me a lot of pleasure helping them and seeing them progress.

[IanForbes]

At the age of 76 I would not mind more kids, but on one condition, they should be born able to talk, feed and dress themselves, and use the toilet. The ability to make a good cup of coffee would be a bonus.

I hope that when I reach the ripe age of 76, I will still be able to do all of those things.

I don't know your age but remember feeling old is 80% mental and 20% physical. Stay young in mind and you'll stay young longer in body.

Too true. The other day I finally asked a young girl friend I've known for 5 years how old she thought I was. Her answer was 52. She was astounded when I told her that I was 20 years older than that. But, I've kept physically fit and our love making has never been an issue. However, I am realistic and KNOW that I'm going to slow down some time soon. But, I'll worry about that when the time comes. I'm still able to keep three young women happy and that is all that counts to them.

[transam]

At the age of 76 I would not mind more kids, but on one condition, they should be born able to talk, feed and dress themselves, and use the toilet. The ability to make a good cup of coffee would be a bonus.

I hope that when I reach the ripe age of 76, I will still be able to do all of those things.

I don't know your age but remember feeling old is 80% mental and 20% physical. Stay young in mind and you'll stay young longer in body.

Too true. The other day I finally asked a young girl friend I've known for 5 years how old she thought I was. Her answer was 52. She was astounded when I told her that I was 20 years older than that. But, I've kept physically fit and our love making has never been an issue. However, I am realistic and KNOW that I'm going to slow down some time soon. But, I'll worry about that when the time comes. I'm still able to keep three young women happy and that is all that counts to them.

Lucky sod.

[IanForbes]

Lucky sod.

It's a combination of luck, good genes, good food, lots of exercise, good planning, not smoking and never drinking to excess. I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually been drunk. it also helps when you actually DO feel young and act it. Being always happy is also part of it.

[TommoPhysicist]

Lucky sod.

It's a combination of luck, good genes, good food, lots of exercise, good planning, not smoking and never drinking to excess. I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually been drunk. it also helps when you actually DO feel young and act it. Being always happy is also part of it.

Or alternatively she could have been lying to secure her contract.

[IanForbes]

Lucky sod.

It's a combination of luck, good genes, good food, lots of exercise, good planning, not smoking and never drinking to excess. I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually been drunk. it also helps when you actually DO feel young and act it. Being always happy is also part of it.

Or alternatively she could have been lying to secure her contract.

That is also true... just like the 80% of women everywhere who tell their husbands that they love them. I can tell the difference between a woman who fakes love making and one who enjoys the real thing. Even the good fakers can't fool me. When a woman is faking it I give them a free pass and say goodbye. But then, many men are not observant when it comes to women, and some guys can't even tell a ladyboy from the real thing.

[TommoPhysicist]

That is also true... just like the 80% of women everywhere who tell their husbands that they love them. I can tell the difference between a woman who fakes love making and one who enjoys the real thing. Even the good fakers can't fool me. When a woman is faking it I give them a free pass and say goodbye. But then, many men are not observant when it comes to women, and some guys can't even tell a ladyboy from the real thing.

I will agree with you there, and even admit that I can't tell when a woman is faking with me or not.

(I suspect my problem is not experiencing as many women as you have Ian)

I do find men who can't spot a ladyboy hard to fathom though.

[anterian]

That is also true... just like the 80% of women everywhere who tell their husbands that they love them. I can tell the difference between a woman who fakes love making and one who enjoys the real thing. Even the good fakers can't fool me. When a woman is faking it I give them a free pass and say goodbye. But then, many men are not observant when it comes to women, and some guys can't even tell a ladyboy from the real thing.

I will agree with you there, and even admit that I can't tell when a woman is faking with me or not.

(I suspect my problem is not experiencing as many women as you have Ian)

I do find men who can't spot a ladyboy hard to fathom though.

If you know what to look for you can never be fooled. She can fake the passion, the fast breathing, but she cannot control her pupil dilation, skin flush, pulse rate, and a few other factors best unmentioned.

Incidentally I go cycling every day, play an hour of badminton, smoke about 20 small cigars a day, but don't drink more than a bottle of beer a week.

Coincidentally Ian and I share the same first name:)

Edited April 1, 2012 by anterian

[473geo]

That is also true... just like the 80% of women everywhere who tell their husbands that they love them. I can tell the difference between a woman who fakes love making and one who enjoys the real thing. Even the good fakers can't fool me. When a woman is faking it I give them a free pass and say goodbye. But then, many men are not observant when it comes to women, and some guys can't even tell a ladyboy from the real thing.

I will agree with you there, and even admit that I can't tell when a woman is faking with me or not.

(I suspect my problem is not experiencing as many women as you have Ian)

I do find men who can't spot a ladyboy hard to fathom though.

If you know what to look for you can never be fooled. She can fake the passion, the fast breathing, but she cannot control her pupil dilation, skin flush, pulse rate, and a few other factors best unmentioned.

Incidentally I go cycling every day, play an hour of badminton, smoke about 20 small cigars a day, but don't drink more than a bottle of beer a week.

Coincidentally Ian and I share the same first name:)

Well that's the answer then, thanks

I'll get my name changed to Ian

[IanForbes]

Well that's the answer then, thanks

I'll get my name changed to Ian

Where is the laughter button when I need it.

[waza]

That is also true... just like the 80% of women everywhere who tell their husbands that they love them. I can tell the difference between a woman who fakes love making and one who enjoys the real thing. Even the good fakers can't fool me. When a woman is faking it I give them a free pass and say goodbye. But then, many men are not observant when it comes to women, and some guys can't even tell a ladyboy from the real thing.

I will agree with you there, and even admit that I can't tell when a woman is faking with me or not.

(I suspect my problem is not experiencing as many women as you have Ian)

I do find men who can't spot a ladyboy hard to fathom though.

I can tell when a woman is faking but they never seem to tell when I am, lol

[billd766]

The point is that people young, older or old should be allowed to decide for themselves what they want to do. If they want to get married to a Thai and have children, that is their right and not for me or for others to judge. Some will fail and others will succeed. some will be happy and others not. Yet that is their choice. Their decision. Who are we to tell them what to do?

Who are we to tell them...?

Responsible members of the human race perhaps?

Responsible people who are able to think above the waist and not like some re-born teenager, who feels that it is just wrong to reproduce with someone 30 years their junior simply to prove an imaginary point either to themselves or the world at large.

Yes, you scratched a nerve in me as you have no idea who people are but you spout out this bumptuous crap as though only you know the meaning of life and everything else.

Why does someone need to "know" someone to see they are making a terrible life choice, and frankly behaving irresponsibly?

What I do know is that in a demographic of highly fragile relationships, to suggest that it's perfectly fine to have a child which will live the majority of it's life fatherless is just wrong.

Without wishing to get personal but who the hell do you think you are telling people who are older and wiser than you how to run their lives.

Older certainly, but wiser...don't make me laugh.

Well in my experience, 67 years of life, 50 years of working including living and working in 38 countries around the world, helping to build mobile phone networks in more than 20 of them, plus 4 careers including 25 years in the military I am certainly a lot wiser than I was at 20, 30 40, 50 and even 60 years old.

I figured out a long time ago that if you didn't get wiser and smarter then you really didn't get anywhere in life so I built on my experiences over the years and changed myself where necessary, stopped thinking that I knew everything that matters in the world and kept quiet unless I knew someone had a problem when I quietly offered to help if it was needed.

I stopped judging people and commenting on them years ago as I found it pointless and self defeating with a good chance of losing friends and making enemies.

Now I am retired whilst I still judge people I rarely comment on them, whether locally in Thailand, on TVForum or other forums unless I get really wound up by crass comments, generalisations and outright plonkers which is when I have my say and get on with life.

I know what I have achieved in my life so far.

What have you achieved so far?

Edited April 3, 2012 by billd766

[IanForbes]

Well in my experience, 67 years of life, 50 years of working including living and working in 38 countries around the world, helping to build mobile phone networks in more than 20 of them, plus 4 careers including 25 years in the military I am certainly a lot wiser than I was at 20, 30 40, 50 and even 60 years old.

I figured out a long time ago that if you didn't get wiser and smarter then you really didn't get anywhere in life so I built on my experiences over the years and changed myself where necessary, stopped thinking that I knew everything that matters in the world and kept quiet unless I knew someone had a problem when I quietly offered to help if it was needed.

I stopped judging people and commenting on them years ago as I found it pointless and self defeating with a good chance of losing friends and making enemies.

Now I am retired whilst I still judge people I rarely comment on them, whether locally in Thailand, on TVForum or other forums unless I get really wound up by crass comments, generalisations and outright plonkers which is when I have my say and get on with life.

Good post, Bill. I agree entirely. Who am I to say how someone else should lead their life? If it makes THEM happy for as long as it lasts then that is all that counts. I've had two marriages that both ended, and I wouldn't trade the time I spent with either woman for anything. But, they actually did me a favour by leaving. I have no intention of ever getting into a serious relationship again, but I'll live an honest enjoyable life for as long as I can. By the way, I'm 72. If someone actually asks for my opinion I will try to answer as best as I know how, but I won't be held responsible if the other person can't live with it. Some people ask, but they don't really want an honest answer. What they DO want is positive confirmation on what they've ALREADY decided to do.

[billd766]

Well in my experience, 67 years of life, 50 years of working including living and working in 38 countries around the world, helping to build mobile phone networks in more than 20 of them, plus 4 careers including 25 years in the military I am certainly a lot wiser than I was at 20, 30 40, 50 and even 60 years old.

I figured out a long time ago that if you didn't get wiser and smarter then you really didn't get anywhere in life so I built on my experiences over the years and changed myself where necessary, stopped thinking that I knew everything that matters in the world and kept quiet unless I knew someone had a problem when I quietly offered to help if it was needed.

I stopped judging people and commenting on them years ago as I found it pointless and self defeating with a good chance of losing friends and making enemies.

Now I am retired whilst I still judge people I rarely comment on them, whether locally in Thailand, on TVForum or other forums unless I get really wound up by crass comments, generalisations and outright plonkers which is when I have my say and get on with life.

Good post, Bill. I agree entirely. Who am I to say how someone else should lead their life? If it makes THEM happy for as long as it lasts then that is all that counts. I've had two marriages that both ended, and I wouldn't trade the time I spent with either woman for anything. But, they actually did me a favour by leaving. I have no intention of ever getting into a serious relationship again, but I'll live an honest enjoyable life for as long as I can. By the way, I'm 72. If someone actually asks for my opinion I will try to answer as best as I know how, but I won't be held responsible if the other person can't live with it. Some people ask, but they don't really want an honest answer. What they DO want is positive confirmation on what they've ALREADY decided to do.

Thanks Ian

It was me that ended the first marriage and I had known my wife less than a year before we married and that lasted 21 years.

I knew my Thai wife for 7 years before we married 12 years ago so the amout of time I knew them is not that much different.

If my Thai wife really wanted to divorce me I wouldn't be vindictive but give up gracefully.

I would be sad if that ever happens but nowhere near as sad as the thought of losing our son would be.

I could perhaps make another start with another woman but it wouldn't be the same but I am sure I would never want to start another family again.

Our son was born late in our lives, me at 60 and my wife at 39 but then again when I was born my Dad was 55 and my Mum was 40 so it wasn't anything new or unsurprising to me.

[true blue]

At the age of 76 I would not mind more kids, but on one condition, they should be born able to talk, feed and dress themselves, and use the toilet. The ability to make a good cup of coffee would be a bonus.

I hope that when I reach the ripe age of 76, I will still be able to do all of those things.

I don't know your age but remember feeling old is 80% mental and 20% physical. Stay young in mind and you'll stay young longer in body.

Too true. The other day I finally asked a young girl friend I've known for 5 years how old she thought I was. Her answer was 52. She was astounded when I told her that I was 20 years older than that. But, I've kept physically fit and our love making has never been an issue. However, I am realistic and KNOW that I'm going to slow down some time soon. But, I'll worry about that when the time comes. I'm still able to keep three young women happy and that is all that counts to them.

come on ian ive seen you out and about in cnx,and you dont look a day over 80,lol

[HeavyDrinker]

If I've been responsible for a rise in hypertension and overflowing colostomy bags, I apologise but it really looks like I've got you old boys really on the defensive here hence the huge amounts of long scrolling posts trying to convince yourselves that you're somehow in a better place now than you were when you were 30 or even 40, where contrary to the tired old cliche, life does not begin. If anything it begins to end.

The fact that due to your financial position you can attract a woman many years younger only feeds this illusion I'm afraid fellas. Fathering children younger than your grandchildren in the vain hopes that it will somehow normalize a relationship built primarily on financial gain in return for home help is doing nothing except bringing people in the world who will never be old enough to really get to know their father.

I've been asked over and over "Who am I to preach to those older than myself?"

Well lads, I'm someone who in his 21 years in Thailand has seem more than his share of old fools think they are 21 again and it isnt a pretty sight. The planet is already overcrowded. Dont make it worse by bringing more crew cut headed nightmares with cheap plastic toys that terrorize Big Cs up and down the North East every weekend.

[mackes]

I'm 60 and I feel that my life is not over yet, I have at least 20 more years to go before I'm finished. And I do not believe I am 20 or 30.

Now and in the future I want a descent life that I control myself. I'm sure that also you younger people will end up with the same wishes. The only thing that part us is a couple of years.

Do you remember your wiev of 30 year olds when you were 15? Have your perspective and meaning changed over the years?

So stop telling older people that their lifes are finished, every individ decide himself when it's time! And who are you moralizing over others peoples decisions in life? Just because you feel a little bit uncomfortable that people as old as your parents can have a life.

Edited April 10, 2012 by mackes

[Berkshire]

I wouldn't say my post was "Venomous"; just truthful.

Sadly the truth really hurts when it comes to speaking the truth about the "Great Thai/ Older Westerner Relationship" illusion, and nowhere more so than in the minds of the older gent who really thinks his girl is "different" or that this is "the real thing".

If anything I'd say the venom has been aimed at me for speaking my mind....wouldn't you?

The really funny thing is you actually believe your Thai gf (your age) likes you more than an old guys gf (30 years younger) likes him. In reality, the age of the buffalo just doesn't matter, only the amount of milk it produces.

This is rather sage comment, Tommo, and much more accurate than Mr. HD is willing to concede.

[Berkshire]

If I've been responsible for a rise in hypertension and overflowing colostomy bags, I apologise but it really looks like I've got you old boys really on the defensive here hence the huge amounts of long scrolling posts trying to convince yourselves that you're somehow in a better place now than you were when you were 30 or even 40, where contrary to the tired old cliche, life does not begin. If anything it begins to end.

The fact that due to your financial position you can attract a woman many years younger only feeds this illusion I'm afraid fellas. Fathering children younger than your grandchildren in the vain hopes that it will somehow normalize a relationship built primarily on financial gain in return for home help is doing nothing except bringing people in the world who will never be old enough to really get to know their father.

I've been asked over and over "Who am I to preach to those older than myself?"

Well lads, I'm someone who in his 21 years in Thailand has seem more than his share of old fools think they are 21 again and it isnt a pretty sight. The planet is already overcrowded. Dont make it worse by bringing more crew cut headed nightmares with cheap plastic toys that terrorize Big Cs up and down the North East every weekend.

So that's really your only qualm, the spitting out kids at an old age? You don't have a problem with older guys/younger women otherwise? Older men shouldn't have kids because...it violates your personal sensibilities? Or are you actually concerned about these guys, or the kids' future? Hmmmm. Perhaps military men and police officers shouldn't have kids because they may die prematurely? And celebrities because they're prone to divorce? Or fat people, because their kids will be fat? Or mixed race couples because the kids may grow up confused? Or poor people because they can't afford it? And so on. Boy, being judgemental sure is easy!