Popular Post Livinginexile Posted June 3, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 3, 2012 (edited) When my wife, as she does, frequently slips her hand into mine, I am surely not going to let go and inform her hand holding in public is to be avoided in Thailand. Likewise my children.....so onlookers better get used to it......or turn away in disgust if they feel affronted Not long ago I was in a restaurant in Kanchanaburi. There in front of me was a Farang with his Thai gf/wife. He looked about mid 50's...she late 20/early 30's. He looked quite sad, that look of a man that's been through a hard life. She went off to the toilet or something and he sat there looking like a shattered man. She walked up behind him and stroked his head then sat beside him and held his hand. The way his face lit up you could see she meant everything to him. It's one of those moments that stuck in my mind. I don't judge anymore. I don't know their lives, never walked a mile in their shoes. He's happy, she's happy and probably her family is happy, everyones happy so what's the problem? The only ones that are not happy are the people that judge them! Live and let live I say, one day we could be the ones being judged. Edited June 3, 2012 by Livinginexile 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiangMai101 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 My wife likes to hold her mums hand - sort of arm in arm whilst out together. The first time I saw them at it I was shocked I have noticed this a lot. It's very sweet and makes me smile. When I first saw it I was a bit taken aback but decided that they had to be mother/daughter or in cases of girls/women of similar ages, sisters. We would never do this in the Western world because we would be too worried about what others may be thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 My wife likes to hold her mums hand - sort of arm in arm whilst out together. The first time I saw them at it I was shocked I have noticed this a lot. It's very sweet and makes me smile. When I first saw it I was a bit taken aback but decided that they had to be mother/daughter or in cases of girls/women of similar ages, sisters. We would never do this in the Western world because we would be too worried about what others may be thinking. Oh..dunno which part of the west you are from but in Scotland i held arm and arm with my grandmother and my aunt most of the time we went out (my mother isnt in the equation for me, if she was i would also have). Hand holding with kids, and partners, the norm all my life, and here of course with Thai female friends at times. (As i mentioned in an earlier post, my ex was Thai, and he instigated hand-holding. Thai never gave us bad looks, but the occasional farang did). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I have read all your post on this topic..............God it must suck to be you.....you hate affection, you hate bars, you hate soccer, you hate girls talking to you................. I don't usually go Alto but just for you..."These are a few of my favourite things..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnniey Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I asked earlier but got no reply so I'll ask again - at what age is it innapropriate to hold your kids's hand when out in the mall for example. Boys I'd say about 6, and girls about 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 When my wife, as she does, frequently slips her hand into mine, I am surely not going to let go and inform her hand holding in public is to be avoided in Thailand. Likewise my children.....so onlookers better get used to it......or turn away in disgust if they feel affronted Not long ago I was in a restaurant in Kanchanaburi. There in front of me was a Farang with his Thai gf/wife. He looked about mid 50's...she late 20/early 30's. He looked quite sad, that look of a man that's been through a hard life. She went off to the toilet or something and he sat there looking like a shattered man. She walked up behind him and stroked his head then sat beside him and held his hand. The way his face lit up you could see she meant everything to him. It's one of those moments that stuck in my mind. I don't judge anymore. I don't know their lives, never walked a mile in their shoes. He's happy, she's happy and probably her family is happy, everyones happy so what's the problem? The only ones that are not happy are the people that judge them! Live and let live I say, one day we could be the ones being judged. That's great if it is genuine on her part. If not he's likely gonna end up balcony diving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I asked earlier but got no reply so I'll ask again - at what age is it innapropriate to hold your kids's hand when out in the mall for example. Boys I'd say about 6, and girls about 10. WRT myself my answer is never. If either child feel uncomfortable about it then I'll let it go. But never "inappropriate" based on what others might think. But same with walking around the house naked, bathing together etc, perhaps different from most. To me nothing sadder than when I read about single dads having their kids taken away under suspicion because of such puritanical sick ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pastitche Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 When my wife, as she does, frequently slips her hand into mine, I am surely not going to let go and inform her hand holding in public is to be avoided in Thailand. Likewise my children.....so onlookers better get used to it......or turn away in disgust if they feel affronted Not long ago I was in a restaurant in Kanchanaburi. There in front of me was a Farang with his Thai gf/wife. He looked about mid 50's...she late 20/early 30's. He looked quite sad, that look of a man that's been through a hard life. She went off to the toilet or something and he sat there looking like a shattered man. She walked up behind him and stroked his head then sat beside him and held his hand. The way his face lit up you could see she meant everything to him. It's one of those moments that stuck in my mind. I don't judge anymore. I don't know their lives, never walked a mile in their shoes. He's happy, she's happy and probably her family is happy, everyones happy so what's the problem? The only ones that are not happy are the people that judge them! Live and let live I say, one day we could be the ones being judged. That's great if it is genuine on her part. If not he's likely gonna end up balcony diving. Yours is a seriously sad and cynical post, and very unlikely to be accurate in the future of the couple mentioned. I take it that you have had a bad experience but have not yet dived from a balcony 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 When my wife, as she does, frequently slips her hand into mine, I am surely not going to let go and inform her hand holding in public is to be avoided in Thailand. Likewise my children.....so onlookers better get used to it......or turn away in disgust if they feel affronted Not long ago I was in a restaurant in Kanchanaburi. There in front of me was a Farang with his Thai gf/wife. He looked about mid 50's...she late 20/early 30's. He looked quite sad, that look of a man that's been through a hard life. She went off to the toilet or something and he sat there looking like a shattered man. She walked up behind him and stroked his head then sat beside him and held his hand. The way his face lit up you could see she meant everything to him. It's one of those moments that stuck in my mind. I don't judge anymore. I don't know their lives, never walked a mile in their shoes. He's happy, she's happy and probably her family is happy, everyones happy so what's the problem? The only ones that are not happy are the people that judge them! Live and let live I say, one day we could be the ones being judged. That's great if it is genuine on her part. If not he's likely gonna end up balcony diving. Yours is a seriously sad and cynical post, and very unlikely to be accurate in the future of the couple mentioned. I take it that you have had a bad experience but have not yet dived from a balcony He's still thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsiam Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I asked earlier but got no reply so I'll ask again - at what age is it innapropriate to hold your kids's hand when out in the mall for example. Boys I'd say about 6, and girls about 10. inappropriate for who ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Not long ago I was in a restaurant in Kanchanaburi. There in front of me was a Farang with his Thai gf/wife. He looked about mid 50's...she late 20/early 30's. He looked quite sad, that look of a man that's been through a hard life. She went off to the toilet or something and he sat there looking like a shattered man. She walked up behind him and stroked his head then sat beside him and held his hand. The way his face lit up you could see she meant everything to him. It's one of those moments that stuck in my mind. I don't judge anymore. I don't know their lives, never walked a mile in their shoes. He's happy, she's happy and probably her family is happy, everyones happy so what's the problem? The only ones that are not happy are the people that judge them! Live and let live I say, one day we could be the ones being judged. That's great if it is genuine on her part. If not he's likely gonna end up balcony diving. Yours is a seriously sad and cynical post, and very unlikely to be accurate in the future of the couple mentioned. I take it that you have had a bad experience but have not yet dived from a balcony Nope, no bad experience personally and been with the same woman for years. I certainly don't look sad or shattered when she's gone however. Just have open eyes to see what happens to a huge number of farang men in Thailand, especially to ones that are emotionally vulnerable. I hope for his sake she is genuine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaa09 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I hope for his sake she is genuine. Genuine...?? What do you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I hope for his sake she is genuine. Genuine...?? What do you mean? As in not a scammer that'll leave him worse off than he was before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I hope for his sake she is genuine. Genuine...?? What do you mean? In Thailand that might be a gender issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I hope for his sake she is genuine. In Thailand that might be a gender issue. Funny, but not relevant in this case, only an idiot would use "hope" for that context, whatever makes him happy is a good thing for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somtamnication Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 The headline says gf, not bg. So, yes. I hold the hand of my wife while my son runs the show while walking towards a toy store. Slow news day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post canman Posted June 4, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 4, 2012 I make mine walk behind. 10 metres behind? Chivalry is not dead.... Reminds me of this story: Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walters vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?" The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes and without hesitation said, "Land mines." MORAL OF THE STORY: BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 It just goes to show the effects of a simple typo. I think what he intended to write was "What's wrong with farangs & their gfs holding hands all the time"; one wrong would make it right... SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 It just goes to show the effects of a simple typo. I think what he intended to write was "What's wrong with farangs & their gfs holding hands all the time"; one wrong would make it right... But that isn't what he meant at all if you look at the OP, he used to think it indicated that the GF is a BG, and that it was the GF who was initiating it. I still maintain this is a person who did not grow up in a farang culture. Has anyone noticed that the only people holding hands while walking around are almost ALWAYS Falangs with their BG-looking GFs/wives? No other couples I see hold hands while walking. Are all the BGs being trained in the same school that encourages hand holding? Any idea what's going on here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 When my wife, as she does, frequently slips her hand into mine, I am surely not going to let go and inform her hand holding in public is to be avoided in Thailand. Likewise my children.....so onlookers better get used to it......or turn away in disgust if they feel affronted Not long ago I was in a restaurant in Kanchanaburi. There in front of me was a Farang with his Thai gf/wife. He looked about mid 50's...she late 20/early 30's. He looked quite sad, that look of a man that's been through a hard life. She went off to the toilet or something and he sat there looking like a shattered man. She walked up behind him and stroked his head then sat beside him and held his hand. The way his face lit up you could see she meant everything to him. It's one of those moments that stuck in my mind. I don't judge anymore. I don't know their lives, never walked a mile in their shoes. He's happy, she's happy and probably her family is happy, everyones happy so what's the problem? The only ones that are not happy are the people that judge them! Live and let live I say, one day we could be the ones being judged. If not he's likely gonna end up balcony diving. Provided she doesnt sell the condo out from underneath him and kick him out...then he may not have a balcony to dive off... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I still maintain this is a person who did not grow up in a farang culture. <deleted> is a farang culture ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StreetCowboy Posted June 4, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted June 4, 2012 I still maintain this is a person who did not grow up in a farang culture. <deleted> is a farang culture ? Mould on a guava 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 My wife and I are in our 40s and still hold hands and even sit with our arms around cuddled up in the cinema! With her coming from a well heeled, we'll to do (Thai structures are hard eh!) family I would never have initiated it however on our 3rd or 4th date she did. I don't know (as never thought to ask something of such small importance) if this was adopted from several trips to Paris, America, Australia, from her 6 year relationship with her American ex or from tv/movies. She sometimes pats my arse in public,when no one's looking just to laugh evilly at the look of shock on my face! Sent from Android, please excuse errors in type or judgement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xthAi76s Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 It just goes to show the effects of a simple typo. I think what he intended to write was "What's wrong with farangs & their gfs holding hands all the time"; one wrong would make it right... But that isn't what he meant at all if you look at the OP, he used to think it indicated that the GF is a BG, and that it was the GF who was initiating it. I still maintain this is a person who did not grow up in a farang culture. Has anyone noticed that the only people holding hands while walking around are almost ALWAYS Falangs with their BG-looking GFs/wives? No other couples I see hold hands while walking. Are all the BGs being trained in the same school that encourages hand holding? Any idea what's going on here? Johnny, your logic here is not sound, my friend. I'm not sure how where I grew up has anything to do with my question. Anyway, I just happened to catch this occurrence again through my condo window and it was the lady who initiated the hand holding. Perhaps she grew up in Farang culture ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagwan Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 How sad that so many contributors here cannot rise above their sad little lives where only bar ladies exist. Does it not ever occur to them that they have to buy fleeting moments of passion because they are so unattractive as persons that no worthwhile ladies will consort with them? They seem to be totally unaware of the multitude of decent Thai ladies with high moral standards that exist and that many joyfully marry and cohabit with farangs who treat them as equal partners in a loving and civilised manner. It seems to me that cynicism rules their every thought - if they ever have any that doesn't make themselves the centre of things and the innocent party in all the bad things that happened in their lives. Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for - and the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more. I reckon perhaps its time we stopped making fun of the sad, lonely and unloved. I think we should show them more care and compassion. I suggest you go out, find a fat, balding sexpat in a Singha singlet, and hold his hand SC Strangely enough I do not make fun of the sad, lonely and unloved. The sight of them however does at times generate a sense of pity that the decisions that they made in their lives and their general attitudes is responsible for their condition. Most had the same opportunities that my contemporaries did and they have not taken advantage of them. I do not feel compassion for them; they are adults, in terms of age at least, and have the freedom to make their own decisions and as far as I am concerned they have to live with them. BTW I am not into bald especially when it is unnatural by being shaved. That my hair now only grows around the edges of my head is a matter of regret but I find that I can live with that, as if I had a choice. Most people spread out a bit as they advance in years, I certainly have, but thanks to my state of mind, I make sure that my Body Weight Index does not qualify me as being classified as obese. I'll take a rain check on holding hands with anybody who thinks it attractive to cover their body with just a singlet if you don't mind. That would upset 'her that does the ironing' for starters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krobert6 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 So many generalisations going on here. I think we should consider all as individuals, BG's and Falangs alike. I was lucky enough to find a non BG lady who had 2 children to her past useless Thai boy - I am not obese but I am far older than her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnniey Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 (edited) So many generalisations going on here. I think we should consider all as individuals, BG's and Falangs alike. I was lucky enough to find a non BG lady who had 2 children to her past useless Thai boy - I am not obese but I am far older than her. Why do you think you are lucky to find a non BG lady? There are millions in this country. If one frequents brothel - bars, then the likelyhood of hooking up with a bar-prostitute is high. Surely her having 2 children already is very unlucky? Edited June 4, 2012 by Johnniey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I really don't know if my wife and I hold hands when out in Public... It's something I've never really thought of. It happens when it happens naturally. I suspect sometimes we do, sometimes we don't, sometimes we do the 'arm in a loop' thingy. My point is that in Thailand holding hands is not an overly flamboyant show of affection. Many people hold hands in Thailand, I see many older couples holding hands, many youngsters and also many mixed couples, it looks natural, I also see many who don’t, it also looks natural. What doesn’t look natural is that which stands out and we notice it more. Its the Old Guy with a Young Girl. Its perhaps that which is more noticeable. The question could also be – Why do some guys parade their latest escapade up and down Sukhumvit road for all to see, are they really that proud of their latest splay-toed-flat-nosed accomplishment? Who are they trying to kid that this is the ‘real-deal’? Is the guy really pulling the wool over his own eyes?... 'Its the 'girlfriend' experience' !! For some, holding hands might give them the belief that they are presenting some form of legitimacy by holding hands, but in reality by their behavior, body language, dress and general demeanor the give away is plain for all to see. So – IMO: its not the holding hands that is noticed, it’s the ‘whole package’ a couple presents which is noticed, often the holding hands is juxtaposed against such contrasting body language it looks ‘odd’ and becomes highly noticeable. I question your whole premise. There's nothing wrong with buying or selling sex, much less long-term companionship. Just because the couple is a fat old 90 year old white guy and his 18-year-old stunner is fresh off the rice farm, they should conceal their in-your-eyes illegitimate relationship? Why should anyone care what others think, much less be ashamed? Good for him, good for her, if they both feel proud of having landed a fish that matches their target profile why not show off to the world? You're the one that should be ashamed for being so judgemental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Why do you think you are lucky to find a non BG lady? There are millions in this country. If one frequents brothel - bars, then the likelyhood of hooking up with a bar-prostitute is high. Surely her having 2 children already is very unlucky? How so unlucky? Nothing wrong with taking care of your SO's children from a previous marriage, most admirable that a guy's willing to treat them as his own. The way the Thais do it here as if genetics are the basis for love is despicable why would you go along with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 So many generalisations going on here. I think we should consider all as individuals, BG's and Falangs alike. I was lucky enough to find a non BG lady who had 2 children to her past useless Thai boy - I am not obese but I am far older than her. Why do you think you are lucky to find a non BG lady? There are millions in this country. If one frequents brothel - bars, then the likelyhood of hooking up with a bar-prostitute is high. Surely her having 2 children already is very unlucky? Can I score points off people for ... I don't know; having a wife who is about the same age as me? Still being married to the same lady after 20 years? I just feel left out with all this point scoring. Maybe I'll just go back to the cricket thread,,, they don't seem so judgemental over there. SC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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