Please Help

[Mobi]

Tuky, first and foremost, you know deep down that you will never truly solve this problem and be able to get on with your life until you have solved your drinking problems.

The nightmare wife and the booze problems are feeding each other.

You will never be able to act rationally and decisively until your head is clear and free of alcohol for a sustained period.

Having said that, here is my considered suggestion.

As others have advised, change your email account and close any others that your ex knows about. Then the next times she sends you an email she will be advised that it could not be delivered.

She will try again and again, and when each attempt fails she will try other means to make contact. Does she have your phone number or your friends’ or parents phone numbers? If so, ask them to change them or to refuse any calls from Thailand that come from unknown numbers.

Once all her efforts to contact you have failed and time has passed, she will eventually get the message that you have moved on, and she will almost certainly give up.

In the meantime, if you really wish to take action to gain custody of your children, then do as others have advised and engage the best possible Thai lawyer you can locate, and have him engage PI’s to obtain evidence of the mother’s ill treatment of the children.

But please understand that the criteria for judging a ‘good parent’ in Thailand will be vastly different to that in western countries. If the children are fed, clothed, and educated and they are not subject to physical mistreatment, then it may be difficult to prove your case. The fact that she is an addict and has multiple boyfriends and spends little time at home may not matter in the eyes of the Thai courts, provided someone is there to take care of the children’s needs.

But nothing ventured, nothing gained, and I strongly advise you to talk to a very good Thai lawyer and see what he has to say about your situation. Remember, if you succeed in cutting off her means of contact, she will assume you have given up, and her guard will be down. Also, you will be able to use the element of surprise, if and when you decide to take action – which could include removing the children to a ‘safe’ house, if your investigations reveal that they are at risk.

If, at the end of the day, your efforts end in failure – especially if it transpires that the kids are reasonably well looked after - at least you know that you have done everything possible to sort out your problems, and hopefully you will feel a bit better about it and be able to move on.

Remember, you are not the first person who has had to lose their children (and all contact) to an estranged spouse, and like the others, you just have to grit your teeth and get on with your life and hope for the best.

It is also not fair to your new wife if you do not take decisive action as soon as possible. You may end up losing her as well.

After all these years, it is high time that you put all this behind you - one way or another.

We have known each other for many years and I hope you will take my advice in the spirit in which it is intended.

Good luck, mate.

Mobi

[sirchai]

First of all, get off the booze. Alcohol doesn’t help you at all; think about her “ice problem”. Addiction is addiction. Full stop.

I can only imagine that your whining will also destroy your new relationship, considering the fact that you’re still legally married in Thailand.

Your chances to get full custody are very slim as you can’t really proof that she’s still taking drugs.

But all I’ve understood was that you’d like to see your kids, right?

Take a good lawyer in Thailand, stop drinking and start now.

Good luck!

Edited July 12, 2012 by sirchai