O.K., etiquette question GOM needs to set the scene:

face down naked as a jaybird in aircon massage room, only a towel covering grumpy's eye-scorching white bum when all of a sudden, massive gas buildup during the massage.

Whats the etiquette here?

A. let it rip and hope the cute massage girl laughs and says something funny............."parcheesi" !

(which leads me astray to the other night when a girl asked what my ring tone was, I said pink like most, pretty forward question I thought.....)

B. try and squeeze let it out slowly and quietly, but then the fragrance might just get another "parcheesi" !

C. suffer through the bout and hope it dissipates.

What do you guys do?

Probably just cock my leg and let it all out, Im pretty sure a lot of these massage ladies have seen it all anyways

Jeez.......not that hard.

Get up and tell the masseuse you need to visit the hong-nam for a p1ss and will be back in a minute.

If you are a pig with no self respect you would let it all out and laugh!!

Do what any self respecting and respectful human would do... Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.

The average human dispels 1.5 liters of 'gas' per day. I imagine concern of the odd ‘massage table slip’ is not uncommon.

Never been to a massage :-(

Better out than in.

Actually it would depend on the state of the toilet, if it was one of those yong yong (squat squat) style toilets, then IMO they are far more offensive than any fart i have brewed....if it were a nice clean horng nam then I would be tempted to use it...if it was an inevitable fart then you really have no choice, you might as well make a joke out of it

1) Ask if the lady wishes to see an science magic. When she says yes, light up an match and let the gas out with an explosion. Explain that the gas was methane and you are planning make millions by turning it to LPG.

2) Let the gas out quietly. When the smell fills the room, stare the lady with most disapproving way indicating it was her who farted. She'll get so confused that she forgets to blame you on the incident.

3) Let the gas out. Say <removed> and tell that's I'm sorry in Swedish, in your native language.

Edited August 3, 201213 yr by Guest
English only - as per forum rules

Just let it out, she'll find it hilarious and laugh her head off!

Ask her to "pull your finger".

Seriously, pretty sad when someone has to come on a public forum and ask when to fart. How has the OP managed to get this far through life?

nothing to with Phuket. Trolling, and closed.