The Positive Ex-Pats..........

[theblether]

You know......there's too much made of the negative stereotype of the ex-pat in Thailand. I'm not blind to the fact that there are some serious undesirables however I can find that sort just about anywhere I go.

There plenty of guys who have done their shift and instead of fading away in a flat on a cold winters day they take a chance to make the most of their lives. Many of these gentleman bring nothing but goodwill and civility with them......I know this to be true as I have met them in Thailand.

In fact, I have met them all over the world......people who never give up on life, and keep looking for the new adventure. Every winter when I go to CM I meet several elderly couples and elderly people from the UK who make their way there every year. There's one couple who come over for an extended period to visit their grandchildren, and the gentleman in particular must be knocking on for 80 years of age. He's frail.....but I love having breakfast with him as he regales me with his stories of Asia 40 and 50 years ago. ( he worked for a major international bank, he was flying back in forth when it was still fashionable to get dressed up for the flight ).

There is one delightful lady I meet every year and I'm not sure of her age, but she won't see 65 again, I'm sure of that. Every winter she takes off around the first week in December and disappears into some Asian country. She was in the habit of flying into Vietnam and making her way alone up through Cambodia and Laos then eventually on to CM. This year she disappeared ( I mean literally ) into Burma.......by her own words she had next to no internet access, and very very sporadic telephone access. The last night she was in Rangoon that enormous factory fire took place just down the road from her hotel and she had to be evacuated as a precaution. Was she fazed?......not a bit......and she loved Burma, for all it's rudimentary facilities.

I know I have just described two regular visitors to Thailand instead of ex-pats. I'm a bit loathe to get into details about CM ex-pats that I know as it is certain that someone here will recognize who I am talking about, and that would be bad form on my part. However, that being said......I can say with certainty that there are many special people living in Thailand who have done their shift and they are living out their twilight years in the Sun, spreading goodwill and civility everywhere they go.

Ladies and Gentlemen all.....and not only do they enrich their own lives by living in Thailand, they also enrich the lives of the people who take the time to sit down and have breakfast with them.

I say three cheers for the positive ex-pats!!!......and keep living your lives to the full

[pigeonjake]

her her,, well said that man,

ive allways been drawn towards elder folk, when i was a lad i used to take my self of to the alotments to meat farrow brothers tom and george, my son in england is named after them,

they were the best pigeon fanciers for a long way round our way, but i used to love listening to there stories, about what they did in the war, allsorts, you dont get many carictors nowadays,

good on yeh mate, you keep enjoying there company, because i bet they enjoy yours, they love a good listener,,,

jake

[Yooyung]

The biggest moaners I came across while living there were the ones that just refused to integrate on any level. You know the guy, you probably met him, the one needs his girlfriend to order kao pad moo for him, the girlfriend he met in a bar, the one with all the gold and a brain size that would barely enable a dinosaur to function...the guy that is always broke and hungover, the guy that hates it there but hasnt been home in 12 years...the guy thats on overstay or the one teaching with a fake degree at a government school in a non airconditioned class with 50 kids...the one thats moving to Vietnam cause theyre a better quality of people over there...the one that gets bashed by a group of Thais for drunkenly exposing himself in a bar, the one that bought a bar, the one that paid 200,000 baht sin sot to a woman he met 3 months ago....then she disappeared....in other words idiots that cant get their shit togehter whatever country they are in and blame anyone else but themselves for their predicament.

[cdnvic]

This is supposed to be about the positive ones.

[Yooyung]

Oh yes....

Well there are a lot them about let me tell you. Usually you dont hear about them though as they keep to themselves and just go about their business without talking too much about it.

A guy that I respected a lot over there was fluent in Thai, reading and writing had set up his own business that was doing pretty well. Some of the more negative people thought he had become too Thai. He could joke about the ridiculousness of some of the things that went on in Thailand but he did it in a way that didnt bring others down. He was always helpful to me and gave me many tips on learning Thai. An all round positive bloke that didnt have the time or inclination to moan.

I hope to catch up with him and others like him when I head back next year.

[theblether]

Thanks very much Yooyung......that's exactly the kind of gentleman that I'm talking about........many do fly below the radar however if you ever manage to engage them you can it can certainly make your day.

[notmyself]

Good thread.

[cdnvic]

Thanks very much Yooyung......that's exactly the kind of gentleman that I'm talking about........many do fly below the radar however if you ever manage to engage them you can it can certainly make your day.

They make it easier to deal with the bitter ones too.

[notmyself]

Yet to find one who plays cribbage though. Or chess for that matter.

[theblether]

Yet to find one who plays cribbage though. Or chess for that matter.

I play chess......but I'm pathetic at it. It's a good way to while away a few hours though

[notmyself]

Yet to find one who plays cribbage though. Or chess for that matter.

I play chess......but I'm pathetic at it. It's a good way to while away a few hours though

I take it you mean you know how all the pieces move?

[meatboy]

Oh yes....

Well there are a lot them about let me tell you. Usually you dont hear about them though as they keep to themselves and just go about their business without talking too much about it.

A guy that I respected a lot over there was fluent in Thai, reading and writing had set up his own business that was doing pretty well. Some of the more negative people thought he had become too Thai. He could joke about the ridiculousness of some of the things that went on in Thailand but he did it in a way that didnt bring others down. He was always helpful to me and gave me many tips on learning Thai. An all round positive bloke that didnt have the time or inclination to moan.

I hope to catch up with him and others like him when I head back next year.

yes i met one of them blokes on my first visit to thailand i owe him so much and so does my wf.i thought i knew it it all how wrong was i but jimmy made my life heaven the only regret i never had the chance to tell him.r.i.p.jimmy mac.

[draggons]

Good thread theblether

Away from the tourist resorts/towns there are plenty of positive expats living. Guys who have managed to intigrate with the locals (as much as one can). Sure we all have the odd bitch when things arn't going right but on the whole we get on with it.

Guess the true fact is some of us came here to do something with our lives, fully aware that things aren't the way they are back home, wherever that may be.

" Head down, arse up an get on with it"

[bkkjames]

I remember the "ignorance is bliss" days.

[canuckamuck]

I'm special

[lovelomsak]

You have chosen a good topic. I much like Yooyung get tired of meeting many of the ex pats. I cannot enjoy their company.It is so nice when I meet a person who I can believe what they say and have a real conversation. I had a friend who came from England to Chiang Mai in the 50's to assist in the teak logging at the time.He was old, educated and a sheer joy to spend time with.i could sit and listen to what he had to say and not be concerned about sorting fact from fiction for I firmly believed it was all fact. I met him thru racing at the yacht club. He always came in last but was revered as much as the first place sailors and I believe a lot of the respect came from the fact he was a sincere,honest man.

I was able to learn a lot from him. I think a person will find the level of integrity that an expat has will be often directly related to their level of education. It appears that way to me anyways. I also feel there is much to be gained by searching out the positive expat. Life can be seen in a good light,with positive reinforcement,and enjoyed more. One thing that seems to be a great factor in the favor of positive expats is if you show respect for them you get respect from them. I find many expats of lesser character seem to think respect can be bullshitted into being or aggresively attained. I much prefer positive feed back to attain mutual respect and enjoy pleasant company.They can be found, but as you say arenot out there blowing there horns about their greatness.

Edited August 26, 2012 by lovelomsak

[CharlieH]

Cribbage, wow, now there's a game I havnt played in years, or even heard about in years come to think of it.

[Yooyung]

Nothing to do with ignorance. You get to the stage where you understand that your sometimes being called foreign birdshit or whatever and you realise that there are <deleted> everywhere. In the main Thais and most expats are ok. I didnt have many bad experiences but then I am not the type of person that gives my trust to others easily. I have a good bullshit detector. If some dont then I pity them. If after however many years of living there you only just come to the realisation that some try to take advantage of others ignorance then you should have opened your eyes a bit wider. The attitude that everyone is a scammer, and that all Thais are only interested in you for money speaks volumes about the type of people one chooses to associate with, more than the reality of being there...on the ground..man.

Heres to all decent folk of all nationalities....a toast lads and lasses.

[Thaddeus]

Yet to find one who plays cribbage though. Or chess for that matter.

I play chess......but I'm pathetic at it. It's a good way to while away a few hours though

I take it you mean you know how all the pieces move?

I like the ex-pats who know that backgammon isn't a type of bacon.

[ThailandMysteries]

The biggest moaners I came across while living there were the ones that just refused to integrate on any level.

I know who you mean.

These men usually come to Thailand for the girls. They're just men who can't get girlfriends in their own country. When they come here, they almost always get burned or stung. Then they get depressed. Then they start drinking. Then they become bitter.

I think that to live successfully here in Thailand you must have hobbies. And you must regard the girls as secondary, and you must try to stay off the alcohol.

What really amazes me is the number of expats who don't even like Thai food.

[lovelomsak]

Gee guys please try and keep this thread on topic. There is good out there if you look for it. Give yourselves a break from being gossipers and negative thinking and work on keeping this thread about positive in a positive way.

[arthurwait]

Bah humbug.

[transam]

Me.................. ..............................

[billd766]

Me.................. ..............................

There are lots of us around but mostly living with out Thai families away from the farang ghettos that just get on with life in Thailand.

If you want to find us you have to travel and we are even found on TVF butnot on the big forums.

Look for threads on rural life, farming and topics like that then read what is put there. Most of us don't give a rats about big cities and how "I was ripped off by a taxi/tuktuk/jetski/motorcycle etc".

We find much more interesting things to do than whine that I can only buy 6 bottles of beer at a time, only 2 packs of cigarettes (that was me) etc.

Life is there for the living and for enjoyment. Go do it as you are a long time dead.

If you make a mistake or screw up, learn from it and don't do it again.

[cardholder]

Yet to find one who plays cribbage though. Or chess for that matter.

I play chess......but I'm pathetic at it. It's a good way to while away a few hours though

I take it you mean you know how all the pieces move?

I like the ex-pats who know that backgammon isn't a type of bacon.

It isn't ???????????

[thequietman]

her her,, well said that man,

ive allways been drawn towards elder folk, when i was a lad i used to take my self of to the alotments to meat farrow brothers tom and george, my son in england is named after them,

they were the best pigeon fanciers for a long way round our way, but i used to love listening to there stories, about what they did in the war, allsorts, you dont get many carictors nowadays,

good on yeh mate, you keep enjoying there company, because i bet they enjoy yours, they love a good listener,,,

jake

Same here, old people are a joy to listen to. I love their stories and their old time values. If I had to pick a downside, it would be the fact that they repeat themselves alot or they forget they told you that story last week. still, a small price to pay for interesting conversation.

[TwoDogz]

I know an expat that has been here circa 30 odd years.

Runs his own successful business and bribes the local constabulary so he can employ all his foreign staff without work permits.

I admire his dedication to the lifestyle here.

[chrisinth]

I'm special

And very transparent.................

[theblether]

I know an expat that has been here circa 30 odd years.

Runs his own successful business and bribes the local constabulary so he can employ all his foreign staff without work permits.

I admire his dedication to the lifestyle here.

In of itself.......he sussed out how to operate in his vicinity and got on with it. Rather than howling at the moon, he made his own life.

Sounds very wise to me.

[chrisinth]

Yet to find one who plays cribbage though. Or chess for that matter.

I play chess......but I'm pathetic at it. It's a good way to while away a few hours though

I take it you mean you know how all the pieces move?

Well I can play crib but am not that old. As for chess, I know what the pieces are called but not advanced enough to know how they all move................

But there you have raised a good point in that not everyone knows everything.

Blether has made reference to old people and listening to their tales; I am in total agreement that it is great to hear of their experiences and furthermore learn from them. My old man always told me, always listen to advice and never turn your back on someone giving that advice. It is the next step that is important and that is choosing what advice is good and what is bad, what to retain and what to dismiss. He was a drunken old fool at times but I have always heeded that principle.

As for Thailand, I think Yooyung summed it up nicely earlier when he said:

"Well there are a lot them about let me tell you. Usually you dont hear about them though as they keep to themselves and just go about their business without talking too much about it".

If you are lucky enough to know some of these people, old or not-so-old, then they can make understanding Thailand a lot easier. I would just like to thank the ones who gave me the advice I needed (without me fully understanding at the time).