fletchsmile Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 GH, I think it's more the circles you mix in and the way you choose to live your life. Fletch, I think the responses in this thread demonstrate very well that the truth of the observation has nothing to do with my own personal choices in the way I live my life. I have asked if we actually understand each other and have given the examples of different ways of life here in Thailand as example - The responses indicate the underlying truth in my observation - It is clear that many really do not have a clue about the lives of their fellow expats. The issue is as much about City Dwelling Expats not understanding Country Living Expats as it is about employed/retired/self funded expats. Not sure the responses are really that conclusive GH: of the 50 posts a good proportion are tongue in cheek. Personally I can relate more to tmd5855's perspectives on life, and wearing different hats/ trying different things. One of the things I've really enjoyed in Thailand is the opportunities to do so much more than back home, in so many ways and to such contrasts. In my time here I've been: - expat/ halfpat/ LHFN and local for packages - big salary/ small salary/ no salary - working/ not working/ student at university/ did a few weeks hands on TEFL teacher training, retired are all different statuses - big place to live with private 4 bed house/ small 1 bed place - city based, but travelled/ stayed up country for extended times. Even a week or so up country, sleeping on the floor in concrete "houses", no air con, scooping water from a big tub as a "bath", chickens running around waking you up at 5am etc gives you an understanding of life like that. As does visiting and staying with upcountry rural friends - single party guy / married no kids/ family man When I look at many of my friends I'm not alone in choosing to do and try new things and experiment. I came on a nice 2 year contract as a single guy. After that finished it was me that chose not to move on, and stay and do different things. That's why I'd say it's more down to the choices you make. I know from your background, you've a decent job, and move from time to time on good packages. The key driver for you is your job, and you make a good lifestyle out of it. While your job is your focus, it sort of gets in the way of experiencing other ways of life. For others, though they have a different focus, and the job is not the key. Once you get more flexible and change your focus, then you get flexible with your lifestyle and with that the understandings of different people you meet. That's a key point. You could choose to try and understand. Your priorities are just different and you choose not to. Thailand is full of contrasts and opportunities. As a foreigner it's your call where you put your priorities, and you can be many things here you couldn't so easily be back home. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I don't understand that when l tell farang folk that l am not one of the rich guys, they blow me out . And yes l laugh, l am one that took a chance, because of stuff, and am OK. These so called countrymen really are the pits in my eyes. ooooooooop's am l on topic or nooooo. ? Must confess that my Thai friends treat me with huge respect for who l am and where l come from, embarrassing at times but l ensure that they feel l am no better than them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotandhumid Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. This is getting worrying now, as I agree with all of that as well On my trips back home (I am an expat that does go home from time to time to see the family) I detect a level of respect and admiration from certain people I know and meet there, mainly because they know they would never have the balls to do what I did themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tmd5855 Posted August 28, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. No need to be quiet, you should speak up more, since what you wrote down made perfect sense... As said in the earlier post. You cannot pigeon hole people into groups. The "starting gate" is a good analogy, we all start from different tracks, different venues and decide to move for our own reasons? Could never put my finger on it .... but I never felt 100% at ease back in the UK, had the house, the car, big boys toys etc, etc, but something was missing. Had always travelled abroad owing to my line of work which I enjoyed doing. Coming back to the UK on leave was filled with DIY, m/bikes, rugby etc. If not for my ex pushing me to go for a tax free status (also p*ss off) would never of taken a posting in Jakarta, Indonesia. Made my base in Thailand ... The rest you can say is history. Company pay me more than enough money to do whatever I want, have replaced engines on tractors, plumbed houses in villages after fitting pressure controls on the only pump at the village well. Been woken up when the mosquito net drops down onto me owing to something that landed ... then left... it were big?? Have shared rural/farm food and amenities for weeks at a time. Learnt Thai, speak good enough to joke with the locals. I find I have no stress, at peace with myself and living food wise with beer on less than 200bhat a day. But ... When I go back to work with photos of my off time, see some colleagues roll their eyes and point to healing inscect bites on my arms?? Some others are riveted on my tales, want to try... but are scared......... Why ... the "unknown" I would think, scared to try, leave their cosy, safe little world. I am glad I will spend the remaining years of my life here. Everything is coming together as planned. House I have built is only 3hrs 30mins away from Bangkok, Korat 45-50mins. After a couple of weeks up there come back pattaya for late nights and bodily abuse. You can be anyone you want to be here in Thailand, if you have the resources but most of all, if you like the country and the people at grass roots level. Just remember (those TV posters who see themselves so Hi-So)....... when you are in your nice car in bangkok or wherever, looking down at the poor, black skinned Thais from the villages. You are just like them, born of a woman, eat and s**t the same and will die the same. I am not a number!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 No need to be quiet, you should speak up more Thanks very much tmd5855........I find it difficult to express my opinions on the forum. I rarely ever comment as I'm a quiet sensitive chap. I will certainly consider finding the courage to post more on Thaivisa. Thank you very much for your encouragement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 No need to be quiet, you should speak up more Thanks very much tmd5855........I find it difficult to express my opinions on the forum. I rarely ever comment as I'm a quiet sensitive chap. I will certainly consider finding the courage to post more on Thaivisa. Thank you very much for your encouragement. I'm speechless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 No need to be quiet, you should speak up more Thanks very much tmd5855........I find it difficult to express my opinions on the forum. I rarely ever comment as I'm a quiet sensitive chap. I will certainly consider finding the courage to post more on Thaivisa. Thank you very much for your encouragement. I'm speechless! Me too That's because I is shy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty awful,and taking the P*** considering he never had: "got on your bike" in his lifetime,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! You obviously was too young to grasp that era? Edited August 28, 2012 by MAJIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty rich,and taking the P*** considering he never "had to get on his bike" in his life,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! I'll just let that comment pass MAJIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty awful,and taking the P*** considering he never had: "got on your bike" in his lifetime,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! You obviously was too young to grasp that era? You mean when the UK made the transition from manufacturing industry to bugger all industry? Yeah I remember it....and many towns and villages in Scotland have never recovered from the fallout. I'm sure its the same in the North of England.....you don't need to be that old to remember those times.....none of us understood the whole loadsamoney character either... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty awful,and taking the P*** considering he never had: "got on your bike" in his lifetime,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! You obviously was too young to grasp that era? You mean when the UK made the transition from manufacturing industry to bugger all industry? Yeah I remember it....and many towns and villages in Scotland have never recovered from the fallout. I'm sure its the same in the North of England.....you don't need to be that old to remember those times.....none of us understood the whole loadsamoney character either... You got it! and there's much, much, more,that can't be discussed on this topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You guys......you're just trying to annoy me I'm not going to fall for it I'm on my best behaviour you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty rich,and taking the P*** considering he never "had to get on his bike" in his life,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! I'll just let that comment pass MAJIC Sorry buddy! but circa 45 year olds? often mistakenly think Tebbit and Maggie was the greatest since sliced bread. Sorry about the slight deviation off topic. Edited August 28, 2012 by MAJIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty rich,and taking the P*** considering he never "had to get on his bike" in his life,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! I'll just let that comment pass MAJIC Sorry buddy! but circa 45 year olds? often mistakenly think Tebbit and Maggie was the greatest since sliced bread. Sorry about the slight deviation off topic. Oh well you've started it now MAJIC so I may as well rise to the bait........so my family were employed in the steel industry in Motherwell, I was an apprentice engineer at Ravenscraig steel works, my father was the local chair of ASTMS. So we were both union card holders. Other members of my family were employed in texstyle's and mining. So there you go, card carrying union men, all of us......what's your point? I suggest you be very careful making it as you may find yourself in a battle that will embarrass you.......go ahead. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeonjake Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 GMB here,, for whats its worth now, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post NaMah Posted August 28, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2012 Note to self: Must read theblether's posts. Will ask my assistant for the summary later Good plan.......Semper suggested that I use less words.....I managed it for two posts but my blethery nature got the better of me. I read your post...very well said. I had the opportunity to move mock and stock to Thailand three years ago but didn't as the conditions and future of the opoortunity looked sketchy to me. When I do, it will be with everything in place to give me the best opportunities for a happy retirement in Asia. Note I wouldn't limit myself to Thailand for that. Spending a few months reading on ThaiVisa has made me question the need for a permanent move to Thailand and I've started to consider the idea of just visiting and continuing to earn money in my home country. I might be able to take advantage of the best of both worlds and stay up a bit higher on the economic scale than if I just moved to TL full-time. I definitely admire the guys who have made a home in the LOS but I also notice the posts written by those who are desperate to leave. At my age (52) I suppose I've still got a few good working years left in me and am starting to think I should just earn as much money as I can in North America. If I can find a MNC gig in Thailand I would probably give that a try but living on my modest pension alone is sounding less and less viable the more I read about hospital bills and other unforeseen expenses one can incur in Thailand. For now I'm planning on just taking extended vacations of perhaps 2-3 months at a time and developing some experience with the place. If I was to meet the right lass my outlook could change but my philosophy lately is that a man's freedom is proportional to his mobility and that real mobility requires a significant income. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) You know though......there is one thing that unites everyone who has chosen to live an ex-pat life, on a company package or otherwise.......each and every one of you has had the bottle to have a go. As Norman Tebbit said, you " got on your bike ", and you got on your bike to make a better life for yourself or family. The motivation could have been travel, employment, retirement whatever, the bottom line is that you stepped out of the norm and tried. Far too many people go through lives in the starting gate, you can't say that about ex-pats. Many ex-pats shot out of their starting gate as soon as they could, ( villagefarang is a prime example, finished Uni then took off to Thailand where he has now lived for 35 memorable years ), many may have lived conventional lives in their own countries for a substantial period before moving, however every single ex-pat has one thing in common......eventually they went through the departure gate. So that unites all of you, you have all had the bottle to go through that departure gate and try..............and that's a far better way to live your life than entrapping yourself within small horizons. I'll be quiet now. I have to say Blether your quote from Norman Tebbit was pretty rich,and taking the P*** considering he never "had to get on his bike" in his life,and probably never had to stoop so low,even as an analogy either! I'll just let that comment pass MAJIC Sorry buddy! but circa 45 year olds? often mistakenly think Tebbit and Maggie was the greatest since sliced bread. Sorry about the slight deviation off topic. Oh well you've started it now MAJIC so I may as well rise to the bait........so my family were employed in the steel industry in Motherwell, I was an apprentice engineer at Ravenscraig steel works, my father was the local chair of ASTMS. So we were both union card holders. Other members of my family were employed in texstyle's and mining. So there you go, card carrying union men, all of us......what's your point? I suggest you be very careful making it as you may find yourself in a battle that will embarrass you.......go ahead. As you know Blether we are going to go off Topic big time on this one,so I will be happy to engage this subject at,another time. As long as the Topic is within TV rules,embarrass me,by all means, if that is your intention,but of course the members will always decide. And by the way there was no bait for you to rise to,merely my comments! on a particular obnoxious MP,of that particular era, of which you seem a bit tetchy about. Edited August 28, 2012 by MAJIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 I know from your background, you've a decent job, and move from time to time on good packages. The key driver for you is your job, and you make a good lifestyle out of it. While your job is your focus, it sort of gets in the way of experiencing other ways of life. For others, though they have a different focus, and the job is not the key. Once you get more flexible and change your focus, then you get flexible with your lifestyle and with that the understandings of different people you meet. That's a key point. You could choose to try and understand. Your priorities are just different and you choose not to. Thank you for your contribution. You've given the exact pre-loaded assumptions, off the shelf view that demonstrates the point I'm making. - I could not have hoped for a better example of an expat not understanding another expat. Again thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokburning Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Two types of people I do not know or understand: The corporate types New hansum arrivals, flush with cash drawn here for the cheap booze and cheaper floozies Often divorced many times they scoff at marriage as it is for fools. They do everything they can to avoid the culture, makes no difference if its Thailand or Cuba. Cant say I much care for or about either, obviously they care not a wit about me. I dont usually read Stick but came across a good blog abt how bkk.expats have changed. For better for worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I like Guesthouse but he often seems to bring up social class in a discussion. Seems to be an English thing. Like many Thais, he seems like a nice well meaning person, but has to continually remind you and himself of his special upbringing and good breeding. As an American, we tend to give more credit to those who achieve things themselves and don't consider being born to a wealthy family as an achievement, but obviously in a heavily class society like England or India or Thailand, it is of great importance. Even that famous Thai musician and author who is undoubtedly more of an intellectual than I could ever dream of being can't help but drop comments about his bloodline. It's just a social quirk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 As an American, we tend to give more credit to those who achieve things themselves and don't consider being born to a wealthy family as an achievement, You are saying that as a poor American, people from rich American families are even bigger snobs and wouldn't even talk to you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I tried to google-translate this topic, to no avail. I was redirected back here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 You are saying that as a poor American, people from rich American families are even bigger snobs and wouldn't even talk to you. There are plenty bad apples (like those on Wall Street) but plenty too whom have dedicated themselves to charity like Gates and Buffet and numerous others. But you miss the point. Class is celebrated in Thailand throughout all classes. It is not in the USA. There are plenty of snobs sure but we aren't very impressed by them. Remember, we were a bunch of rednecks who threw the King and his well dressed tea sipping "soldiers" out of the country and have not looked back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) I like Guesthouse but he often seems to bring up social class in a discussion. Seems to be an English thing. Like many Thais, he seems like a nice well meaning person, but has to continually remind you and himself of his special upbringing and good breeding. We all like ro be liked and I thank you for that, but 'special upbringing and good breeding' - I have to chuckle at that. That asside, the observation I have made has no relationship at all to social class - I've gone as far as to explain a discussion on social class would be a different thread which I have no desire to start as there are so many Brits around (noting their sensitivity to the socisl class thing). Edited August 29, 2012 by GuestHouse 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMA_FARANG Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) Humans are complicated and understanding others can be very difficult. I don't think this issue is specific to people who reside in (or visit) Thailand. ----------------------- That I understood! Human beings were born in, grew up in, and have taken their "norms"....ideas of what is normal behaviour....from a mixture of all those influences they have experienced. Havong worked and lived in litterally a dozen countries since I left my "home" in the Northeast U.S.A. over 40 years ago I've had to adapt to many percieved "norms" since that time. For example, the "norm"....normal behaviour pattern...is quite different from living in, for example, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia and Bangkok, Thailand. Sometimes people forget that their everyday behaviour...their "norm"....depends on their current experiences. When they do that that's when they have problems trying to understand and communicate with other people. It's just that their pre-concieved "norms" get in the way of attempting to understand the pre-concieved norm of that other person. Usually, it's possible to work around these pre-conceptions...and arrive at some kind of compromise with that other person on a shared "norm". I've had to do that most of my life. I'm 66 years old now and retired in Bangkok...so I've had a lot of practice in making such mutual compromises. It's definately not something unique to Thailand. Edited August 29, 2012 by IMA_FARANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxme Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I'll be quiet now. That will be the first... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuckamuck Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I understand people from all walks. I don't agree with much of them, but I understand. Someone said earlier that people are more interested in getting you to understand them then they are in understanding you. This is so true, especially here in Thailand. You would be amazed at how many conversations you can have with people without contributing more than two sentences and occasional nods. People don't give a crap about what the other guy has to say, it's all me, me, me. or sometimes my agenda, my agenda, my agenda. Lately I have given up making any points in a face to face conversation, it is a waste of time. if I have to talk to someone, I let them say their piece and move on. Folks don't even ask your name any more. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overherebc Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I understand people from all walks. I don't agree with much of them, but I understand. Someone said earlier that people are more interested in getting you to understand them then they are in understanding you. This is so true, especially here in Thailand. You would be amazed at how many conversations you can have with people without contributing more than two sentences and occasional nods. People don't give a crap about what the other guy has to say, it's all me, me, me. or sometimes my agenda, my agenda, my agenda. Lately I have given up making any points in a face to face conversation, it is a waste of time. if I have to talk to someone, I let them say their piece and move on. Folks don't even ask your name any more. Read somewhere that "everyone is the sum of all the people they have ever met " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchsmile Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I know from your background, you've a decent job, and move from time to time on good packages. The key driver for you is your job, and you make a good lifestyle out of it. While your job is your focus, it sort of gets in the way of experiencing other ways of life. For others, though they have a different focus, and the job is not the key. Once you get more flexible and change your focus, then you get flexible with your lifestyle and with that the understandings of different people you meet. That's a key point. You could choose to try and understand. Your priorities are just different and you choose not to. Thank you for your contribution. You've given the exact pre-loaded assumptions, off the shelf view that demonstrates the point I'm making. - I could not have hoped for a better example of an expat not understanding another expat. Again thank you. Haha.. easy young man. I was just trying to suggest a few reasons for why YOU don't understand your fellow expats. Many of us do... You made the quote: But it goes both ways, while my very best friend here in Thailand is what I shall refer to as a privately funded expat, not yet retired but not working, I actually don't really know another folk like him (beyond superficial acquaintance). So aside from one friend who is unlike you, you don't know any other privately funded expats as friends. So what's the reason then for you not having other friends in such varied lifestyles? Why is it you don't understand, when many of us do? Isn't that the question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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