Farangs Whose Thai Wives Have Become Substitutes For Their Mothers–Pitiful Or Plain Pathetic

[maprao]

It almost happened to me but I took and I am taking control again.However

she can continue cooking me delicious food

cutting my nails

taking care of me and my son

all the other stuff she does.

crocodile tears to make me feel bad included lol

Finances and big decisions are up to me. A word of warning it is hard to regain control over certain things and maintain the harmony. Having been together so long I have worked out my methods and thankfully she does not read Thaivisa!

[uptheos]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

[chiangmaikelly]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Pedo trap. New wife and child accuse the new husband of acting bad with child settle out of court for a small fortune.

[Om85]

@Chiangmaikelly:Maybe you didn't undertand my meaning, i said: IN MY EXPERIENCE, i didn't said all the farangs are like that, or this only happens to europeans, but back in my country happens more or less the same like here in Thailand, you have europeans, japanese and americans desperate for love that go and get married with prostitues, or with women that already have childrens etc, then they get ripped off and they don't know why??? sorry for them, but even a child wouldnt commit that kind of mistake.

So you know Japanese men who have married prostitutes in Thailand? It goes without saying I guess that the only men you have not seen marry Thai prostitutes are Cubans?

Yes, I know a few japanese , including some of my mates that married bar girls, and yes , I have never know of a cuban married to a Thai prostitute, in fact the only cuban that i know married to a Thai is me

[Om85]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Besides what Chiangmaikelly already told you , why on earth would you married a woman with childs when there is millions of single women out there?

[chiangmaikelly]

@Chiangmaikelly:Maybe you didn't undertand my meaning, i said: IN MY EXPERIENCE, i didn't said all the farangs are like that, or this only happens to europeans, but back in my country happens more or less the same like here in Thailand, you have europeans, japanese and americans desperate for love that go and get married with prostitues, or with women that already have childrens etc, then they get ripped off and they don't know why??? sorry for them, but even a child wouldnt commit that kind of mistake.

So you know Japanese men who have married prostitutes in Thailand? It goes without saying I guess that the only men you have not seen marry Thai prostitutes are Cubans?

Yes, I know a few japanese , including some of my mates that married bar girls, and yes , I have never know of a cuban married to a Thai prostitute, in fact the only cuban that i know married to a Thai is me

I find that amazing. During WW II with 100,000 Japanese stationed in Thailand (Japan and Thailand were allies during WWII) there is only one recorded case of marriage between a Thai woman and a Japanese soldier. I also know two Cubans who have married bar girls so I guess we are both surprised.

[uptheos]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Pedo trap. New wife and child accuse the new husband of acting bad with child settle out of court for a small fortune.

What a brilliant answer, I feel I've achieved enlightenment........thanks.

[GarryP]

He's been browbeaten by a control freak, it happens all over the world.

Looks like he's got it bad BJ, he's a lost cause. I know of dozens of examples in farang land. I sometimes wonder if the guys are masochists as they take so much sh*t thats the only explanation I can find.

Just be a pal for him when you can, you're maybe one of the few real pals he has left in the world.

Otherwise stay out of it, there's no victory for you here.

Just sayin'

You are right, he is a lost cause, most of them are, and I never become involved, wouldn`t be worth the time and effort, plus this guy is someone I would describe as an occasional friend, someone I know and his wife sometimes chats with my wife and that`s about as far as it goes.

These are only my observations of many such cases I have witnessed over years here and just wondering, are these sorts of behaviors the results of those who have somehow become or deliberately isolated themselves in Thailand to become 100% reliant on they`re partners?

I wonder what happens if their wife dies or leaves them? Do they just go into recession and fade away?

They finally breathe a sigh of relief and start to live life again.

[Om85]

@Chiangmaikelly:Maybe you didn't undertand my meaning, i said: IN MY EXPERIENCE, i didn't said all the farangs are like that, or this only happens to europeans, but back in my country happens more or less the same like here in Thailand, you have europeans, japanese and americans desperate for love that go and get married with prostitues, or with women that already have childrens etc, then they get ripped off and they don't know why??? sorry for them, but even a child wouldnt commit that kind of mistake.

So you know Japanese men who have married prostitutes in Thailand? It goes without saying I guess that the only men you have not seen marry Thai prostitutes are Cubans?

Yes, I know a few japanese , including some of my mates that married bar girls, and yes , I have never know of a cuban married to a Thai prostitute, in fact the only cuban that i know married to a Thai is me

I find that amazing. During WW II with 100,000 Japanese stationed in Thailand (Japan and Thailand were allies during WWII) there is only one recorded case of marriage between a Thai woman and a Japanese soldier. I also know two Cubans who have married bar girls so I guess we are both surprised.

WWII was a few decades ago, if you know those two cubans, please help to get in touch with them, I miss speaking in spanish, and besides me I don't know any other cuban here

[stiggy]

If he's happy leave him be. If he ask's advice tell him to man up.

[chiangmaikelly]

So you know Japanese men who have married prostitutes in Thailand? It goes without saying I guess that the only men you have not seen marry Thai prostitutes are Cubans?

Yes, I know a few japanese , including some of my mates that married bar girls, and yes , I have never know of a cuban married to a Thai prostitute, in fact the only cuban that i know married to a Thai is me

I find that amazing. During WW II with 100,000 Japanese stationed in Thailand (Japan and Thailand were allies during WWII) there is only one recorded case of marriage between a Thai woman and a Japanese soldier. I also know two Cubans who have married bar girls so I guess we are both surprised.

WWII was a few decades ago, if you know those two cubans, please help to get in touch with them, I miss speaking in spanish, and besides me I don't know any other cuban here

I think they are back in Mexico where they both sell condos. Sorry. They are Cuban/Americans born in Cuba and went to school in Miami.

[CharlieH]

There are few on this thread that are either "bating" for a reaction or, and probably more accurate, just plain morons.

There are even some that, in my opinion, should be beaten within an inch of their lives, and introduced to a life support machine or better still just executed and put out of their pitiful misery.

I am quite used to seeing absolute garbage being stated but seldom is so much shit in one pile.

[Om85]

@Chiangmaikelly : Cubans Americans? Maybe that explain why they got married with bargils, but of course in my country there is plenty of stupid people too, is the same everywhere.

[giddyup]

There are few on this thread that are either "bating" for a reaction or, and probably more accurate, just plain morons.

There are even some that, in my opinion, should be beaten within an inch of their lives, and introduced to a life support machine or better still just executed and put out of their pitiful misery.

I am quite used to seeing absolute garbage being stated but seldom is so much shit in one pile.

Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel.

[chiangmaikelly]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Pedo trap. New wife and child accuse the new husband of acting bad with child settle out of court for a small fortune.

What a brilliant answer, I feel I've achieved enlightenment........thanks.

It is a common scam in Thailand, the Philippines, Cambodia and the US. I feel sorry for the women with children but I would stay away; not worth the chance.

[mauGR1]

Good thread, although i am afraid it will not last long, as i guess the OP is hitting more than a few nerves.

TBH, i find the marriage dynamics appear more obvious in Thailand, but they work the same everywhere.

You can see the same patterns in many marriages, only in a more subtle way.

Personally, while i am attracted to women with a strong personality, i would never marry one, when they start building a cage around me, i start to develop some quite nasty trait, finally they run away.

I have often compared the joy of marriage and the joy of freedom, in my case freedom wins.

[true blue]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Pedo trap. New wife and child accuse the new husband of acting bad with child settle out of court for a small fortune.

What a brilliant answer, I feel I've achieved enlightenment........thanks.

wow thats got to be a first

[Neeranam]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Besides what Chiangmaikelly already told you , why on earth would you married a woman with childs when there is millions of single women out there?

There are just SO many reasons not to marry a Thai woman with kids, ESPECIALLY if they are male.

[Neeranam]

Some years ago, this guy used to be a very extrovert and adventurous person, then over a period of time, he has become totally reliant on his Thai wife, although he continually complains about how cruel she treats him, as if to say, please have pity for my situation. But if visiting Immigration for his visa, a hospital or doctor, the local supermarket, buying and choosing cloths, even having to make a decision as to what colors or types of clothes he should wear when going out and dealing with any general inquiries he requires the support of his wife and would now never make an attempt to deal with home matters or venture to certain places on his own. As for going out alone or with friends, this guy has begun to suffer from anxiety and will never stray too far from home or stop out late without his wife.

This is what happens if you don't learn the language. Sad, and I also know many that it has happened to.

[Beetlejuice]

My belief is, that many of these types of men become sexually dysfunctional at an earlier age than other guys and socially do not interact well with people outside their own circle, almost to the point of having a fear of personally addressing situations head on. Then they cocoon themselves into what that consider as a safe environment with the constant need of a partner to provide emotional support for them even if that partner is lacking in judgment or good sense and perhaps feebleminded. It`s just the comfort of knowing that the person is there, again something like a mother image to them. Many of these men prefer to live a lifestyle that they lived in their home countries and avoid anything Thai altogether. For example, you would more likely see one of these guys eating at a MacDonald’s rather than a Thai noodle stall.

Over the years, I have noticed that there seems to be an extraordinary large number of these types over here, perhaps more than we realise that explains why so many old farangs live in self contained units and appear to be anti social. Even my Thai wife has commented, saying that some of the farangs I have known here seem to be weird and best avoided. So in fact could Thailand be a final grazing ground for the misfits of the Western world? Because so many don`t appear as what I would consider to be the norm of my circles back in my home country.

[uptheos]

or with women that already have childrens etc.

What on earth is wrong with marrying someone who has a child?

Besides what Chiangmaikelly already told you , why on earth would you married a woman with childs when there is millions of single women out there?

There are just SO many reasons not to marry a Thai woman with kids, ESPECIALLY if they are male.

Personally, I wouldn't marry someone with kids, I have my own plus grandchildren so I've done my bit.

But there's nothing wrong if people do, it's their choice.

I will agree on the boy thing though, I don't think I would want to raise a Thai boy.......but if someone does, it's a personal choice.

[crazykopite]

I see it all the time when out shopping in Tesco the thai lady giving down the banks to the farang husband/partnert just for the sake of it and the older the farang the worse it seems.It would not surprise me if some of these woman are slowly feeding there partners with rat poison in the hope of getting there money quicker, sometimes I feel sorry for the farangs and indeed none of them who I regarded as a friend took my advice and left her she was sucking him dry but at the time he could not see the writing on the wall because he relied on her to much,he was with her so that he could live on an extended visa little did he relize that he could do this without her.

[jacktrip]

So in fact could Thailand be a final grazing ground for the misfits of the Western world?

thats very good, einstein. you can add to that pedos, sex addicts, slobs and every other known disfunction viewed from a western standpoint. the rest end up leaving if they do visit because they cant stand being around the scumbags, sleaze and bastards, or they seclude in oceanfront estates if the are well to do.

ive given up on male friends after being here a year. even people who appear normal end up being backhanders who are angling for a continued stay by causing problems in the hope of getting you financially loose.

what can i wxpect when there are no well paying jobs here? it may be different in an older age bracket that have pensions or established income.

the others cannot be trusted and try to gain access to women you may be seeing for sexual reasons. loyalty and ethics you would see in the west go out the door here. either foreigners lose them after they arrive or you are getting deviants picked from a large population who are attracted to the country.

Edited October 29, 2012 by jacktrip

[KarenBravo]

The first small step is being reliant on the wife for communication. Unable to talk any Thai is the beginning of a slippery slope.

For older fellas, it ends with a fear of being alone. Whereby to stay with someone.....anyone, is better than being alone.

If you speak enough Thai to get by and you have no fear of being alone, none of this will ever happen to you.

[Om85]

The first small step is being reliant on the wife for communication. Unable to talk any Thai is the beginning of a slippery slope.

For older fellas, it ends with a fear of being alone. Whereby to stay with someone.....anyone, is better than being alone.

If you speak enough Thai to get by and you have no fear of being alone, none of this will ever happen to you.

Thats why when I came here the first thing I did was to buy some books and start to learn Thai, if you can't speak the language you r gonna be completely isoleted.

[harryfrompattaya]

The first small step is being reliant on the wife for communication. Unable to talk any Thai is the beginning of a slippery slope.

For older fellas, it ends with a fear of being alone. Whereby to stay with someone.....anyone, is better than being alone.

If you speak enough Thai to get by and you have no fear of being alone, none of this will ever happen to you.

Thats why when I came here the first thing I did was to buy some books and start to learn Thai, if you can't speak the language you r gonna be completely isoleted.

Are yoiu making million of dollars in the Rice Bussiness? I known it important to speak Thai But boy I am glad I learned to speak yiddish the language of Bankers and Diamond Merchant.

[harryfrompattaya]

So in fact could Thailand be a final grazing ground for the misfits of the Western world?

thats very good, einstein. you can add to that pedos, sex addicts, slobs and every other known disfunction viewed from a western standpoint. the rest end up leaving if they do visit because they cant stand being around the scumbags, sleaze and bastards, or they seclude in oceanfront estates if the are well to do.

ive given up on male friends after being here a year. even people who appear normal end up being backhanders who are angling for a continued stay by causing problems in the hope of getting you financially loose.

what can i wxpect when there are no well paying jobs here? it may be different in an older age bracket that have pensions or established income.

the others cannot be trusted and try to gain access to women you may be seeing for sexual reasons. loyalty and ethics you would see in the west go out the door here. either foreigners lose them after they arrive or you are getting deviants picked from a large population who are attracted to the country.

As a very rich 83 years old who has both friends in Nigeria and the Americans I agree with you . Also you girl friends get BS from you so call friends wives.

[Om85]

The first small step is being reliant on the wife for communication. Unable to talk any Thai is the beginning of a slippery slope.

For older fellas, it ends with a fear of being alone. Whereby to stay with someone.....anyone, is better than being alone.

If you speak enough Thai to get by and you have no fear of being alone, none of this will ever happen to you.

Thats why when I came here the first thing I did was to buy some books and start to learn Thai, if you can't speak the language you r gonna be completely isoleted.

Are yoiu making million of dollars in the Rice Bussiness? I known it important to speak Thai But boy I am glad I learned to speak yiddish the language of Bankers and Diamond Merchant.

This is not about money, is about you living in a country in which the 98% of the people only speak Thai, so if you come here to stay you better learn the language, IMHO.

[RabC]

I have a Lao girlfriend, same as Thai ( I am a Lao American ) who lives in Laos and I live here in the States. I am a 41 y.o retiree who is doing well. I take care of her every month through a very generous allowance and flies to Asia twice a year for 3 years now. Everything is fine with us. I love her dearly. Problem is, I can never trust her. Its not really her I feel uncomfortable, its her family that I can't trust. Its all about money.

After various arguments, she finally knows what is the real deal in our relationship. Asia woman always want to be in charge. Well, from the get go, I made some serious pointers.

A- Don't ask about my income

B- I am here to take care of you and your kids. Fine. But not your family

C- One lie, you are out

D- Steal one dollar from me, you are out

Sorry I have to be blunt about it. And no, I am no caveman romantic either. I figured life is too short to be bothered with penny annie stuff. I come to visit and have a good time.

Your friend needs to be firm. The one that controls the finances, controls the relationship. JMO

When you introduce money in the equation (the "allowance"), you get literally what you paid for... that is a very materialistic relationship based on money (I would shudder calling that "love").

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

I totally agree, loads of relationships like that start every night in bars and end the following morning usually in hotel rooms. Cold hearted and self centred spring to mind.

[GFY]

I know a guy that had a nice big piece of land (2 rai) app 1- 2 km away from Jomtien Beach with a small house and swimming pool. His Thai wife convinced him to divide the land up and build a condominium for all his saved money (app 20 mill bath).

It all went tits up from the beginning, the building cost more then she expected and she had to borrow money in the bank (he didn't want to have anything to do with it).

The condominium was finished build but she had difficulties selling the units and rent out the 51% remaining units they intended to keep and not enough money was coming in to pay the mortgage.

To cut a long story short, the bank took over everything, the condos, his house, the cars and his wife ran away with app. 5 mill bath she had tucked away for a rainy day.

App. 5 people bought condos there but they never got the tittle deeds and the rich Thai/Chinese woman that bought the whole lot from the bank will most likely try to get them out (court case pending, I think).

This man is now back in EU and will most likely never come back to Thailand as he have to live on a small pension, his wife is wanted by the police for fraud. Their son was sent to EU by his mother to stay with his father.

What a mess, I fell very sorry for this man and his son. He also left all the decisions to his wife and didn't want any confrontations and what a big mistake it was.

I am not afraid to discuss any matters with my wife and in the end of the day it's my decision as I am the one earning the money but we can normally find a solution we both can accept.

Whilst laughing at others peoples misfortune is wrong I'm afraid to say your story made me laugh!