Trusting The Wife

[MyFriend You]

I think there is a huge difference between trust and BLIND trust. I have a friend right now who is being who is being taken advantage of and he doesn't know it. I'm not saying anything.

Some years back, a wise American said "Trust but verify".

I know the score on this point. I've seen lots of overseas men meet their "darlings" on dating sites or in tourist bars or tourist joints, and they have no idea as to the girl's real "background".

Like you so wisely imply, BLIND trust is folly.

Background? Do you do background checks on people? Are you the CIA?

Girls are girls are girls. If you can't find out about someone through communication and instincts you deserve what you get. I have never been out with anyone that I needed to find out their background to give me judgement.

Never again will I tell someone their significant other is running around on him or her - did that once in the Army and sure enough, the couple (she was a stunner from Bangkok) got divorced, and his lawyer got him a good settlement - she got to keep the car, he kept the house and the money - but almost a year later, I met him in Pats at a beer bar, and he repaid me buy pouring a vial of heroin in my rum & coke, when I went ofr a piss - if it wasn't for a waitress I tipped very often and generously 'accidently' knocked my drink over cleaning the table, I would have died........took the glass to CID and he was arrested, yelling I ruined his life for not minding my own business - that was 1975 and I learned a valuable lesson.............mind your own business, I wouldn't tell my own brother if I knew his wife was screwing aro und on him.

[TommoPhysicist]

Yes, I trust my wife, just am not married to her in the traditional sense. We own property together, joint bank accounts, beneficiary on each others insurance - Okay, I paid for hr policy, but why have insurance on only one member of the family - as for Kids????? Who needs them, there are plenty of kids in the world without parents,

If you aren't married, the question of trusting your wife doesn't crop up, as you don't have one.

[TommoPhysicist]

If you can't find out about someone through communication and instincts you deserve what you get. I have never been out with anyone that I needed to find out their background to give me judgement.

Oh dear, what about the vast majority of us men that have crap instincts and no judgment at all.

Do we really deserve to have our assets and money taken from us?

[payak]

If you can't find out about someone through communication and instincts you deserve what you get. I have never been out with anyone that I needed to find out their background to give me judgement.

Oh dear, what about the vast majority of us men that have crap instincts and no judgment at all.

Do we really deserve to have our assets and money taken from us?

yes

[payak]

If you can't find out about someone through communication and instincts you deserve what you get. I have never been out with anyone that I needed to find out their background to give me judgement.

Oh dear, what about the vast majority of us men that have crap instincts and no judgment at all.

Do we really deserve to have our assets and money taken from us?

yes nothing is taken, its given, then complained about at the end when the relationship is over

[NoshowJones]

Mine has truly earned it.

However it not only has to be earned, one must also be willing to give it and be trustworthy yourself.

Not easy !!!

Yermanee

Is there anybody posting right now who can honestly say that their wives would allow them to go to Pattaya with their friends without her? Although I have taken her with me sometimes, she knows I don't go to the girlie bars (I don't drink alcohol). Before someone asks me why I go there, there is more to Pattaya than girlie bars.

[transam]

Mine has truly earned it.

However it not only has to be earned, one must also be willing to give it and be trustworthy yourself.

Not easy !!!

Yermanee

Is there anybody posting right now who can honestly say that their wives would allow them to go to Pattaya with their friends without her? Although I have taken her with me sometimes, she knows I don't go to the girlie bars (I don't drink alcohol). Before someone asks me why I go there, there is more to Pattaya than girlie bars.

Surely you've not found a 1969 Hemi Dodge Charger there ? ............................

[belg]

your kids, you know from day 1, birth..

your wife... who really knows what she is thinking, education or lack off

why does this country allow thai people to buy up land and houses, start businesses 100% owned without problems in other countries

why is it that there are laws telling you farang, you cannot own land to put a house you paid for , you can only own 49% of your own company...

guess this is to ensure some poor thais can get rich on the stupid farang in the short or long term

yes farang, you can buy your condo, with a limited % of farangs in your building, but who wants to live in a small box ?

[bangkokburning]

110% - but I still guard the bulk of assets snd will do so into my 70s. Ints not that I don't trust her, it's more my own paranoia, my own lessons learned from people I have known and ancedotes on the Internet.

★Really, the main reason...Thai government screws us from the outset so who can be blamed for protecting their ass? Buy some land and a house? Set up.a business... I dont think so. Even in best of divorces, it is hers. Why take that risk unless you are really old and can afford to.not lose a nights sleep over it?

Even before I was married, my girlfriend cum wife offered to loan me money to make a visa more easily here (I keep my money in usa). Currently, we have a Visa card in my name, secured to be able to.rent cars in.usa. Half that is her money. Our joint acct, half is her money.

Edited November 11, 2012 by bangkokburning

[SiameseCurios]

I think there is a huge difference between trust and BLIND trust. I have a friend right now who is being who is being taken advantage of and he doesn't know it. I'm not saying anything.

Some years back, a wise American said "Trust but verify".

I know the score on this point. I've seen lots of overseas men meet their "darlings" on dating sites or in tourist bars or tourist joints, and they have no idea as to the girl's real "background".

Like you so wisely imply, BLIND trust is folly.

Background? Do you do background checks on people? Are you the CIA?

Girls are girls are girls. If you can't find out about someone through communication and instincts you deserve what you get. I have never been out with anyone that I needed to find out their background to give me judgement.

Hmmmm. Not sure if I agree with your here.

Judging people "through communication and instincts" sounds fine, but what happens if you're in a foreign country and the culture is alien in more ways that you might imagine?

Instincts won't help. And communication is something you can forget unless you're fluent not only in the local language but also the million and one cultural nuances.

[richardjm65]

I guess the topic of trust is a bit like deciding whether you're a pessimist or an optimist. If you think about it, being a pessimist means that, no matter what, you can never really be disappointed.

Being an optimist means plenty of disappointments in life.

So I choose pessimism and truly believe I'm happier for that choice.

By the same reasoning, I am reluctant to entirely trust anyone, but would be saddened to find that someone could not trust me!

[bangkokburning]

Mine has truly earned it.

However it not only has to be earned, one must also be willing to give it and be trustworthy yourself.

Not easy !!!

Yermanee

Is there anybody posting right now who can honestly say that their wives would allow them to go to Pattaya with their friends without her? Although I have taken her with me sometimes, she knows I don't go to the girlie bars (I don't drink alcohol). Before someone asks me why I go there, there is more to Pattaya than girlie bars.

Yes, witbout doubt. I still have a few friends in Pattaya as well as a few more that come over from states from time to time. In 3 yrs of our relationship Ive not gone down cause Pattaya bores the F out of me. My wife has given the big OK to me going down for the evening as well. Perhaps after ten years it will be different and she will roll her eyes a bit. But she totally trusts me.

I did not marry her at 51 to cheat on her with some slut with herpes. If I wanted to cheat, no shortage of places in BKK...I could walk out my door and into a gishbowl in Huay Kwang in abt ten minutes. Soi Cowboy is ten minutes on MRT if I want some hags to suffer their hassles and grief.

I love my wife. I trust my wife and she can trust me.

Edited November 11, 2012 by bangkokburning

[poanoi]

My gf said i can go see my ex whenever i want, and i dont even have to tell her,

the problem is my ex dont seem to be interested

[mjj]

I think there is a huge difference between trust and BLIND trust. I have a friend right now who is being who is being taken advantage of and he doesn't know it. I'm not saying anything.

Some years back, a wise American said "Trust but verify".

I know the score on this point. I've seen lots of overseas men meet their "darlings" on dating sites or in tourist bars or tourist joints, and they have no idea as to the girl's real "background".

Like you so wisely imply, BLIND trust is folly.

Background? Do you do background checks on people? Are you the CIA?

Girls are girls are girls. If you can't find out about someone through communication and instincts you deserve what you get. I have never been out with anyone that I needed to find out their background to give me judgement.

Hmmmm. Not sure if I agree with your here.

Judging people "through communication and instincts" sounds fine, but what happens if you're in a foreign country and the culture is alien in more ways that you might imagine?

Instincts won't help. And communication is something you can forget unless you're fluent not only in the local language but also the million and one cultural nuances.

Why would you marry someone you can't communicate with? Ah, yes I know, but that is not a good basis for a marriage is it? We also know that marrying someone without having sound knowledge of their culture is a bad idea also. Not just for trust issues, but for a good relationship.

[TommoPhysicist]

Why would you marry someone you can't communicate with? Ah, yes I know, but that is not a good basis for a marriage is it? We also know that marrying someone without having sound knowledge of their culture is a bad idea also. Not just for trust issues, but for a good relationship.

The best basis for a marriage would be to extend your families power, influence and property holding. No need for the bride and groom to have ever met or spoken before the wedding arranged by their parents. (Well that's what marriage was invented for in the first place)

Edited November 11, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[mjj]

Why would you marry someone you can't communicate with? Ah, yes I know, but that is not a good basis for a marriage is it? We also know that marrying someone without having sound knowledge of their culture is a bad idea also. Not just for trust issues, but for a good relationship.

The best basis for a marriage would be to extend your families power, influence and property holding. No need for the bride and groom to have ever met or spoken before the wedding arranged by their parents. (Well that's what marriage was invented for in the first place)

That may be, but I'm a romantic. Still logical, but a romantic all the same. I married for love and so did my wife, well so she says, but you just can't trust them can you. Lol

[how241]

Marriage is all about trust and understanding.

She doesn't trust me & I don’t understand her.

Funny but true in many cases.

[Chupup]

The short answer is NO, if you rent its not so painfull when reality strikes, anything that can be sold or pawned will be if the FAMILY so decree and YOU are the last on the list except when money is needed.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The short answer is NO, if you rent its not so painfull when reality strikes, anything that can be sold or pawned will be if the FAMILY so decree and YOU are the last on the list except when money is needed.

And I like the others find it very sad for those who knowingly choose to put themselves in that kind of situation.

There are so much better ways to set things up so you actually get what you want without subjecting yourself to what you're talking about, it's really not that hard with a bit of knowledge and planning.

But to each their own.

[bangkokburning]

Why would you marry somne you can't communicate with? Ah, yes I know, but that is not a good basis for a marriage is it? We also know that marrying someone without having sound knowledge of their culture is a bad idea also. Not just for trust issues, but for a good relationship.

The best basis for a marriage would be to extend your families power, influence and property holding. No need for the bride and groom to have ever met or spoken before the wedding arranged by their parents. (Well that's what marriage was invented for in the first place)

That is not the reason. That came to be A huge reason for landed and wealthy, the original reason people paired was to know who the father is (obligation to care for the unit ) and to reduce STIs which were back then a cause of death, preventable.

Now we have Hep C-E, HIV, syphlis and clap that are all nearing or already impossible to cure. So, all you single guys and married playboys - good luck with that.

Even an untreated case of Chlamydia can be in/direct cause of death for a woman.

Edited November 12, 2012 by bangkokburning

[HeavyDrinker]

My word what a horrible thread this is.

Misogyny at it's worst especially bangkokburning for thinking all women are just VD addled animals.

Shame on you sir. I thought better of you.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Good to be well-informed about these dangers, take proper precautions and get regular tests, but yes I think some people are overly doom-and-gloom about the dangers.

Manage risks in life, try to eliminate them and you're not living AFAIC.

[Payboy]

Can you trust posts from anonymous people on a anonymous forum?

I would never doubt anything you wrote.

[uptheos]

The only thing I dont trust my wife to do, is unplug me when the time comes.

Her head has been filled with religious mumbo jumbo and respect for doctors.

She is gradually coming to grips with the religious side of things, and now realizes doctors arent Gods, and hospitals are nothing more than money making machines.

Keep a minimum in your account - she'll soon see the light when she's using her money.