Girls With Poor English

[Neeranam]

there seems to be an overwhelming belief here that thai girls that speak English are BG or have had previous relationships.

If they have had previous relationships who cares, however it's not always the case, there are some very educated girls here and lets face it BG cannot at all speak good English.

my real question is how on earth can people form a relationship with someone who cannot speak English, and even further how do they hold it together, I would go insane,thats just me.

communication is everything in a real relationship, how do people sit there all day trying to make petty small talk about nonsense, just looking for something to say that they may understand, wouldnt it be easier to just find an English speaker

I have some Thai female friends that speak English better than Thai, as they were educated abroad. The 'overwhelming belief' you have must be talking about guys in Pattaya. OF COURSE there are MANY girls that speak English that aren't prostitutes - what an ignorant thing to assume.

To answer your real question my relationship with my wife has lasted 13 years - when we met, she couldn't speak English but I could speak reasonable Thai. She started going to English classes and I, of course, taught her. My Thai fluency increased dramatically too. It was fun, and there were situations when communication was a problem but I honestly think if we could communicate 100% in those early days, we wouldn't be together now. When our first kid came, my wife could speak reasonable English and I started only to speak English in the house, apart from a few important matters. Now, my wife is fluent in English. My Thai has suffered actually as I rarely speak in now - English at home and at work.

I know many relationships where the girl speaks little English and the guy speaks little Thai. Some of these have lasted many years - language of the heart.

[Payboy]

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Could the OP please define what he describes as 'Poor English' in quantitative terms?

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I think he's referring to the plight of those poor girls with the English.

[cdnvic]

Many girls who speak English simply learned it in school, especially those with a university education.

[payak]

Many girls who speak English simply learned it in school, especially those with a university education.

you are aware that this is what i was saying yes, I was having a dig at the large number of negative comments that are made against good english speakers, and pointing out that englisg does not mean bar girl or farang ex boyfriends.

and asking how people got by without communication, what was the attraction without knowing each other.

yet to get a single answer in 64 posts, to many people got there guard up, this should be a civil conversation.

I ask a simple question, no harm intended, and get called such things as a poor high school drop out, by a stranger.

Edited December 3, 2012 by payak

[Morakot]

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Could the OP please define what he describes as 'Poor English' in quantitative terms?

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I think he's referring to the plight of those poor girls with the English.

Quantitative? Would that mean for example 5 English men? At what rate? Goodness!

[payak]

im curious if people cannot really speak well at all, how can they really know each other well enough to commit.

not saying its wrong or right, but i can ask, thats my right.

[Neeranam]

im curious if people cannot really speak well at all, how can they really know each other well enough to commit.

not saying its wrong or right, but i can ask, thats my right.

Do you really expect those who can't communicate with their wife or girlfriend to post here about it?

Rather sanctimonious - saying that any such relationship is not 'real'.

Remember when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 pointing back at you.

[cheechoo]

Payak, how do you communicate over here?

hand over the pension........................lol.

[cdnvic]

Let's not get into name calling shall we?

[arthurwait]

Non verbal language is also important but it still difficult to have relation without verbal communication , for example how to express : I don't want to ask you to clean all dish , I just want you to volunteer helping me , if I ask you to do it meaningless . : by non verbal language .

Thai men don't do dishes ..... a classic example of why you don't want a girl who previously dated a foreigner.

The neighbors would be totally shocked to see a man washing or cleaning, an insult to both parties.

My best Thai mate does the dishes and cooks. Very modern well educated guy. Maybe because he isn't stuck in the dark ages he is happily married to a beautiful, kind, very elegant, well educated lady (western masters same as him) who earns more than he does.

I sure all the local laos khao swillers who maybe think he may not be man enough are geting on just as succesfully as him.

[nontabury]

a girl will not be offended if you do a little cleaning either,

And if a stranger comes to your house,do you run outside barking?.

[cdnvic]

I always wondered about the viability of these couples I see who hardly speak a word of common language between them, but on the other hand we all know many couples who could only benefit by not knowing what the other is talking about.

[patongphil]

I know a BG who has been working full time in the bars doing you know what for at least the last 13 or so years and her English is still terrible to say the least.

Others only been in the bars for a few weeks and fairly good English.

Hard to tell

[yermanee]

Haven't read all the posts here, but it strikes me that first O.P. and some others claim that you have to speak the same language as your partner to be able to communicate.

I tend to disagree. First I have to tell you I'm fluent in 4 languages and get by in a couple of others. I have been married twice in the home country with partners who spoke the same language as I did and both marriages failed because we didn't understand each other in the true sense of the word. Getting along requires more than language alone. It's as much about reading the body language, facial expressions, sensing mood swings, accepting that your partner may tell you some white lies from time to time, as understanding the words.

There's a lot more to it than speaking the same language, and if you're happy with pidgin whatever so be it.

Just my 2 cents

Yermanee

Edited December 3, 2012 by yermanee

[payak]

so it seems conversation with the partners is not a high priority here.

yes there are ways to communicate, point at things, etc etc, but what about good conversation with a partner.

[krisb]

there seems to be an overwhelming belief here that thai girls that speak English are BG or have had previous relationships.

Or you could also say,

Your Thai isnt any good.

I also dont see where you get the 'overwhelming belief here' bit from.

Long as your happy with your relationship what does it matter to you what anyone else does?

Almost border line troll post.

[HardenedSoul]

It's as much about reading the body language, facial expressions, sensing mood swings, accepting that your partner may tell you some white lies from time to time, as understanding the words.

There's a lot more to it than speaking the same language, and if you're happy with pidgin whatever so be it.

Just my 2 cents

Yermanee

Yeah try relying on that when trying to discuss where your kids are gonna go to school.

I dunno - is a relationship where two people share a common language more likely to foster the kind of understanding you say was missing from your two failed marriages than one where both parties haven't got much of a clue of what the other is trying to express?

Duh!

[payak]

there seems to be an overwhelming belief here that thai girls that speak English are BG or have had previous relationships.

Or you could also say,

Your Thai isnt any good.

I also dont see where you get the 'overwhelming belief here' bit from.

Long as your happy with your relationship what does it matter to you what anyone else does?

Almost border line troll post.

if its a troll post move on, seriously please move on or wake up.

dont tell me you have not heard many comments here and elsewhere about girls having good english being bg.

its not in my imagination, saw it on here again last week, it happens so raising it is not trolling is it.

how is it trolling, perhaps i should have said no english rather then poor but i forgot everything must be spelt out here.

funny how people here will spot every spelling mistake, but cant get what a post is about.

[payak]

so what most of you are saying is talking to your wife well is not important, that you can use sign language and other things instead.

good communication is not important as long as you are still together and how dare payak raise the issue.

I thought the days of sitting around the fire pointing at your food and grunting was left behind in the prehistoric era.

There is no way you can truly claim to know a person if you cannot converse with them,no way.

[chiangmaikelly]

so what most of you are saying is talking to your wife well is not important, that you can use sign language and other things instead.

good communication is not important as long as you are still together and how dare payak raise the issue.

I thought the days of sitting around the fire pointing at your food and grunting was left behind in the prehistoric era.

There is no way you can truly claim to know a person if you cannot converse with them,no way.

Hugh just got engaged to the lady on the far right.

[yermanee]

It's as much about reading the body language, facial expressions, sensing mood swings, accepting that your partner may tell you some white lies from time to time, as understanding the words.

There's a lot more to it than speaking the same language, and if you're happy with pidgin whatever so be it.

Just my 2 cents

Yermanee

Yeah try relying on that when trying to discuss where your kids are gonna go to school.

I dunno - is a relationship where two people share a common language more likely to foster the kind of understanding you say was missing from your two failed marriages than one where both parties haven't got much of a clue of what the other is trying to express?

Duh!

Please read my post again.

I did say that common language does not automatically mean you understand each other.

Yermanee

[Berkshire]

so it seems conversation with the partners is not a high priority here.

yes there are ways to communicate, point at things, etc etc, but what about good conversation with a partner.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I do believe good communication is pretty essential in a meaningful relationship. In fact, I would say it's the single most important aspect in a healthy relationship. So in Thailand, being able to communicate in Thai would be hugely beneficial in a relationship with a normal Thai girl.

The dating dynamics here are such that it could be a tad confusing. It's rather easy to find a Thai woman who wants to be with you for financial security, or as they say, to "take care." But is that love? What makes a woman fall in love with a man? The answer would be a combination of things, such as looks, personality, compatibility, wit, intelligence, character, and yes, financial success. But if I had to nail it down, I'd say it's the more intangible things like chemistry, connection...call it what you want. And that requires exceptional communication at a profound level. Most farangs are not capable of communicating in Thai at this level. So why would Thai women be interested in farangs at all?

I do notice that the most attractive Thai women in Thailand are with Thai guys. And most of these guys are not particularly wealthy. In fact, they're rather impoverished by my estimation. Yet, these hot young Thai girls are with these guys and are most likely in love with them. How can that be when the farangs on this forum insist that Thai women are only about money? Hmmmm.

[chiangmaikelly]

so it seems conversation with the partners is not a high priority here.

yes there are ways to communicate, point at things, etc etc, but what about good conversation with a partner.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I do believe good communication is pretty essential in a meaningful relationship. In fact, I would say it's the single most important aspect in a healthy relationship. So in Thailand, being able to communicate in Thai would be hugely beneficial in a relationship with a normal Thai girl.

The dating dynamics here are such that it could be a tad confusing. It's rather easy to find a Thai woman who wants to be with you for financial security, or as they say, to "take care." But is that love? What makes a woman fall in love with a man? The answer would be a combination of things, such as looks, personality, compatibility, wit, intelligence, character, and yes, financial success. But if I had to nail it down, I'd say it's the more intangible things like chemistry, connection...call it what you want. And that requires exceptional communication at a profound level. Most farangs are not capable of communicating in Thai at this level. So why would Thai women be interested in farangs at all?

I do notice that the most attractive Thai women in Thailand are with Thai guys. And most of these guys are not particularly wealthy. In fact, they're rather impoverished by my estimation. Yet, these hot young Thai girls are with these guys and are most likely in love with them. How can that be when the farangs on this forum insist that Thai women are only about money? Hmmmm.

Not me. I didn't say that.

[krisb]

there seems to be an overwhelming belief here that thai girls that speak English are BG or have had previous relationships.

Or you could also say,

Your Thai isnt any good.

I also dont see where you get the 'overwhelming belief here' bit from.

Long as your happy with your relationship what does it matter to you what anyone else does?

Almost border line troll post.

if its a troll post move on, seriously please move on or wake up.

dont tell me you have not heard many comments here and elsewhere about girls having good english being bg.

its not in my imagination, saw it on here again last week, it happens so raising it is not trolling is it.

how is it trolling, perhaps i should have said no english rather then poor but i forgot everything must be spelt out here.

funny how people here will spot every spelling mistake, but cant get what a post is about.

I said borderline.

The only reason anyone complains about a Thai not speaking good English is those who cant speak Thai.

Living and visiting in Thailand and complaining about non English speakers makes no sense.

[GarryP]

there seems to be an overwhelming belief here that thai girls that speak English are BG or have had previous relationships.

Or you could also say,

Your Thai isnt any good.

I also dont see where you get the 'overwhelming belief here' bit from.

Long as your happy with your relationship what does it matter to you what anyone else does?

Almost border line troll post.

if its a troll post move on, seriously please move on or wake up.

dont tell me you have not heard many comments here and elsewhere about girls having good english being bg.

its not in my imagination, saw it on here again last week, it happens so raising it is not trolling is it.

how is it trolling, perhaps i should have said no english rather then poor but i forgot everything must be spelt out here.

funny how people here will spot every spelling mistake, but cant get what a post is about.

I said borderline.

The only reason anyone complains about a Thai not speaking good English is those who cant speak Thai.

Living and visiting in Thailand and complaining about non English speakers makes no sense.

Yep. My wife does not speak English. I came here, I live and work here, and intend to remain here, in a country where the national language is Thai, so I taught myself the local language. Without Thai I would be lost and it would be no one's fault but my own.

[payak]

so it seems conversation with the partners is not a high priority here.

yes there are ways to communicate, point at things, etc etc, but what about good conversation with a partner.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I do believe good communication is pretty essential in a meaningful relationship. In fact, I would say it's the single most important aspect in a healthy relationship. So in Thailand, being able to communicate in Thai would be hugely beneficial in a relationship with a normal Thai girl.

The dating dynamics here are such that it could be a tad confusing. It's rather easy to find a Thai woman who wants to be with you for financial security, or as they say, to "take care." But is that love? What makes a woman fall in love with a man? The answer would be a combination of things, such as looks, personality, compatibility, wit, intelligence, character, and yes, financial success. But if I had to nail it down, I'd say it's the more intangible things like chemistry, connection...call it what you want. And that requires exceptional communication at a profound level. Most farangs are not capable of communicating in Thai at this level. So why would Thai women be interested in farangs at all?

I do notice that the most attractive Thai women in Thailand are with Thai guys. And most of these guys are not particularly wealthy. In fact, they're rather impoverished by my estimation. Yet, these hot young Thai girls are with these guys and are most likely in love with them. How can that be when the farangs on this forum insist that Thai women are only about money? Hmmmm.

dont know, I dont claim all thai girls are about many, many but not all.

as for talking on a profound level, some thai have the english to do this.

[payak]

there seems to be an overwhelming belief here that thai girls that speak English are BG or have had previous relationships.

Or you could also say,

Your Thai isnt any good.

I also dont see where you get the 'overwhelming belief here' bit from.

Long as your happy with your relationship what does it matter to you what anyone else does?

Almost border line troll post.

if its a troll post move on, seriously please move on or wake up.

dont tell me you have not heard many comments here and elsewhere about girls having good english being bg.

its not in my imagination, saw it on here again last week, it happens so raising it is not trolling is it.

how is it trolling, perhaps i should have said no english rather then poor but i forgot everything must be spelt out here.

funny how people here will spot every spelling mistake, but cant get what a post is about.

I said borderline.

The only reason anyone complains about a Thai not speaking good English is those who cant speak Thai.

Living and visiting in Thailand and complaining about non English speakers makes no sense.

Yep. My wife does not speak English. I came here, I live and work here, and intend to remain here, in a country where the national language is Thai, so I taught myself the local language. Without Thai I would be lost and it would be no one's fault but my own.

I agree that if you live in thailand you should speak, can you show me in this post where I made any comments about that at all, the issue is about 2 people who cannot understand each other.

lets get it right because it seems some here are struggling with this post, god knows how you handle talking to your wives.

I'm refering to those that really cannot understand each, must say huh, what, sorry, 5 times per sentence,and just have no clue as to what each other is saying really at all.

not refering to broken english.

[GarryP]

The title of the thread is Girls With Poor English. My wife fits the bill. Perhaps, it would have been better to name it "Couples who can't communicate with each other". Just sayin'. Then there would be no argument.

Edited December 3, 2012 by GarryP

[TommoPhysicist]

.......... what was the attraction without knowing each other.

yet to get a single answer in 64 posts,

My wife had a really nice farm and house.

There you go, now you have one answer ...... I married her for her money (property wise).

[TommoPhysicist]

It's as much about reading the body language, facial expressions, sensing mood swings, accepting that your partner may tell you some white lies from time to time, as understanding the words.

There's a lot more to it than speaking the same language, and if you're happy with pidgin whatever so be it.

Just my 2 cents

Yermanee

Yeah try relying on that when trying to discuss where your kids are gonna go to school.

Not all of us live in places where there is a choice of schools.

As for where they go to university, up to me, being the man of the house (and the one paying).

Edited December 3, 2012 by TommoPhysicist