Girlfriend Want To Move In With Me - Comments?

[cigar7]

I am a 58 year old guy who has been living alone in a condo in Pattaya for several years, but I only stay about 6 to 8 months each year in Pattaya.

I got tired of picking-up 1 or 2 women every week and I wanted to find one good woman for a long-term relationship. I found a nice girl, 22 years old, on an internet site in Sept. 2012. She is a commercial school teacher in Bangkok, her students were 3 - 6 years old learning about computers. She came to visit me and stayed with me every weekend until now. I do treat her nicely, take her out for entertainment, dinners etc.. She seems to be very nice, never asks for money or anything expensive, she doesn't smoke, nor drink alcohol, nor do drugs. She dresses clean, neat and tidy. She claims I am her only 3rd BF and she only wants 1 good man. I have met 2 of her friends and they seem nice too. We all went out for dinner twice and her friends actually paid for all of us once and I paid another time. It wasn't like some of these other situations where the falang always pays for everything. She does seem like the type, of woman I would like to keep permanently. But as we all understand Thai women are good actresses, and it takes time to understand their true intentions.

Her teaching position ends in Dec. and she wants to go to University and earn a BA in Tourism starting in January 2013. She has commented that she would like to attend Dusit Thani in Pattaya and stay with me. She has not asked me to pay her tuition.

I was thinking that it would be nice to have her live with me, I enjoy her companionship, but I want to understand the downside of this type of relationship. Does anyone have direct knowledge of a similar relationship? I think things will be ok when I am with her, but I do return to Canada for up to 2 months at a time, several times a year, so there would be an exposure that she moves out with all of my stuff when I am in Canada. Also I want to understand the legal issues related to cohabitation. Can we be classified as common-law married after a certain point in time? Could I be exposed to litigation if I kick her out in 6 months, or 1 year or 2 years?

[Swiss1960]

58 and 22... now think 10 down the road and you will see the issues... and when she moves in, you WILL be paying... rent, food, some clothes, school fees... will happen slowly but steady...

And since you already have second thoughts about litigation, throwing here out etc... looks to me like you know the answers already...

Sent from my HTC One XL using Thaivisa Connect App

[Forkinhades]

sounds like heaven

[TommoPhysicist]

58 and 22... now think ........

I think 5555555

There's one born every minute!

As a 58 yo man what do you think a 22 yo woman sees in you?

Do the decant think, pay for her tuition and all her expenses until she finishes uni and leaves you for a young Thai guy, same as the older Thai sponsors do with these young college girls. Rent her own place for her, don't give her access to your stuff. it's a fairly standard deal over here.

Edited December 27, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[LaoPo]

sorry: decided to withdraw my initial comment.

To the OP:

Think twice.

Let her come to Pattaya in January 2013 but advise her to find herself a room or small studio amongst other Thai youngsters first.

Renting a room is not expensive and in such a situation you and her can still see each other but you will feel safer to keep a certain distance when you are away, back to Canada.

A friend of mine has a relationship with a Thai girl and she has a regular job in a hotel and my friend has his own apartment but the girl found herself a very nice studio for little money in Pattaya North. She pays for this studio herself!

When my friend is in Pattaya, she stays with him; when he's gone, she goes back to her own place, amongst a lot of other young Thai !

Everybody happy!

You avoid the risk that when you return your apartment is either empty or her whole family moved in....

Edited December 27, 2012 by LaoPo

[honda99]

Go for it man you only live once and at your pushing on years now it's nice to have a young bit of skirt hanging around the place, but just make sure you keep your finances out of view.

[simple1]

In Thailand relationships are only legally recognised after registering a marriage. If you are concerned about your property you can always arrange storage whilst overseas, you can say concerned about theft during the day so not to offend. In my location foreigners have had bar girls living with them and when they end the arrangement the BG, on occasion, called police contacts to negotiate a payout. Police turn up in a police vehicle and uniform! You are saying girlfriend is not a BG so leave that with you.

At the end of the day if you like the company of the female, enjoy while you can. If in the future you come to the conclusion that she is exploiting the relationship to the detriment of your personal well being just move along. She may come to the same decision regards you.

Edited December 27, 2012 by simple1

[cigar7]

58 and 22... now think ........

I think 5555555

There's one born every minute!

As a 58 yo man what do you think a 22 yo woman sees in you?

Do the decant think, pay for her tuition and all her expenses until she finishes uni and leaves you for a young Thai guy, same as the older Thai sponsors do with these young college girls. Rent her own place for her, don't give her access to your stuff. it's a fairly standard deal over here.

What I think she sees in me are the advantages of an older man:

1. Maturity and Wisdom

2. Stable

3. Responsible

4. Loyal

5. Open minded

6. More time together

7. Better sex

8. More appreciative

9. Better quality of life

Yes, I am willing to pay for her tuition.

[endure]

Why are you asking anonymous strangers how you ought to conduct your life?

[poanoi]

58 and 22... now think ........

I think 5555555

There's one born every minute!

As a 58 yo man what do you think a 22 yo woman sees in you?

Do the decant think, pay for her tuition and all her expenses until she finishes uni and leaves you for a young Thai guy, same as the older Thai sponsors do with these young college girls. Rent her own place for her, don't give her access to your stuff. it's a fairly standard deal over here.

What I think she sees in me are the advantages of an older man:

1. Maturity and Wisdom

2. Stable

3. Responsible

4. Loyal

5. Open minded

6. More time together

7. Better sex

8. More appreciative

9. Better quality of life

Yes, I am willing to pay for her tuition.

I bet that's what You saw in 60 year old woman when you were in your 20's too,

and no doubt think likewise of 100 year old woman now

[cigar7]

Why are you asking anonymous strangers how you ought to conduct your life?

The more information I can obtain about a certain situation, the better decision I will make. It's called research! Have you heard that group decision are better than an individual's decision 80% of the time. That doesn't mean I'll follow the group decision or recommendations.

[noob7]

22 years old "commercial school teacher" is going for a bachelor in tourism.

Looks like a kindergarten nanny found her option, to make it to a bachelor in the very 'useful' field of tourism!

I have no idea, how much the chosen university will cost, but anyway:

This girl will be cheaper, as 1or2(woman) x 4 (weeks), methinks.

Be careful, not no 'fill the oven', and don't be surprised, that she has thai male friends.

Also be aware, that friends of her will live with her, during you aren't available!

Or she will live with fiends!

btw: she don't has to ask for money, 'cause you probably insist, anyway, to pay (I do treat her nicely, take her out for entertainment, dinners etc).

She's probably a nice girl. But she would be also a nice girl, to a 40 or 30 years old, treating her nicely, like you, too! Maybe a nicer one!

Edited December 27, 2012 by noob7

[RealisticRon]

Now then now then now then.

[govoner]

• Why is every one down on the op for wanting to live with a 22 year old. This is Pattaya its the norm. No one is giving Ron Wood (rolling stones and 65) a hard time for marrying his 34 yr old gf.
  
• A good joke about this topic.
  
• Women all say they want a man can make them laugh. Rich old guys must be hilarious.
  

[noob7]

• Why is every one down on the op for wanting to live with a 22 year old. This is Pattaya its the norm. No one is giving Ron Wood (rolling stones and 65) a hard time for marrying his 34 yr old gf.
  
• A good joke about this topic.
  
• Women all say they want a man can make them laugh. Rich old guys must be hilarious.
  

If you were a girl, wouldn't it make you laugh, that the old 'fart' has the idea, you want him because of himself?

[whybother]

The only thing that I think you should be aware of if she moves in, is that you lose the ability to go out and have a few drinks with your friends. That has nothing to do with going out to get other girls.

She will expect you to be with her all the time. She will get angry when you're not home exactly when you said you would be. She will get angry if she thinks you're out drinking and picking up other girls.

I would advise against having her move in unless you don't currently have your own social life.

[Phronesis]

"so there would be an exposure that she moves out with all of my stuff when I am in Canada"

What a ridiculous statement. I furnished my entire 3 bedroom 3 bathroom house top to bottom with new furniture for less then 3K$AUD. Brand new fridge, washing machine, kitchen appliances, sofa, bed, wadrobes etc... On top of that there are a few $500 computers I brought with me when I orignally moved here for good.

I have been with my girl for three years and even if I came home from the beach tomorrow and EVERYTHING was gone, I wouldn't begrudge her theft because it is only 3K worth of junk...and a very fair settlement in my eyes. If I shacked up with a girl in Australia I stand to lose half of everything and legal fees on top of that to fight a defacto relationship claim.

Do you rent your condo? Is the furniture even yours?

Man up. Enjoy your time with that beautiful young girl (while it lasts). And if you have any gold, important documents, hard drives, or other precious or sentimental items, rent a safety deposit box to put them in while you are in Canada.

If the furniture in your condo is in fact yours, big deal, you come back from Canada and you have lost what?....5K worth of junk....big deal...how much would you pay PER DAY for the company of a lovely 22 year old back in Canada?

Edited December 27, 2012 by Phronesis

[Honkie]

SUGAR DADDIES don't need to justify their actions . They are mature and full of wisdom . better in bed, etc ,etc....or thats what they think they are !!!!

[Headgame]

OK, here's looking down the road.

I am 68 and my lady is 33. It must be my lifelong immaturity finally paying me a dividend but we have lots in common, never a dull moment, lots of fun with a sweet, loyal, loving, faithful and beautiful lady. Will it last? Two years and counting. Does she love me? All the love I can handle. Is this a typical scenario? Hell no but if it ended tomorrow for whatever reason, zero regrets and there will be lots of beautiful memories with pictures.

[KKvampire]

Op will be sucked in and blown away.walk away from the request.you are being used.no doubt with that seductive thai smile

Sent from my LG-P350 using Thaivisa Connect App

[cigar7]

The only thing that I think you should be aware of if she moves in, is that you lose the ability to go out and have a few drinks with your friends. That has nothing to do with going out to get other girls.

She will expect you to be with her all the time. She will get angry when you're not home exactly when you said you would be. She will get angry if she thinks you're out drinking and picking up other girls.

I would advise against having her move in unless you don't currently have your own social life.

One option is go out when she is in school. Most of my mates are my age, several have live-in GFs, so we don't out go out bar hopping most nights anyway. If a tourist friend comes to town, my gf is welcome to come along. However, she doesn't like bars or noisey places, so she may chose to stay home.

[cigar7]

Op will be sucked in and blown away.walk away from the request.you are being used.no doubt with that seductive thai smile

Sent from my LG-P350 using Thaivisa Connect App

Why do you say this?

[Mobi]

Not sure if its been mentioned, but Thai law doesn't recognise common law marriages so she will have no claims on you if the relationship breaks up, unless she can prove that you have taken something that clearly belongs to her.

After many years of research, during which time I have had many marriages and dozens of relationships with Thai women much younger than myself, I have come to the conclusion that the older the woman is, the better the chance of the relationship succeeding.

IMHO most Thai women do not mature emotionally until they are in their late 20's and before that age they tend to behave like teenagers. Of course there are always exceptions but in my experience, single Thai ladies in their early twenties pretty much live for today, and their main aim is to have a good time, and go out and enjoy themselves with their friends.

It is only when they reach their late 20's - which is considered old by many Thais in terms of their eligibility to find a husband.- that they start to take life more seriously and plan for the future. This is even more so when they reach their early 30's as by this point, in their minds they are definitely 'over the hill' and are getting desperate to find a stable relationship that will provide them with security. They have also sowed all the wild oats and have largely got it out of their system.

So I would always recommend that middle aged farangs look for girls in the age range 27-35 if they want to find a pretty young thing that will keep them happy in the old age and are less likely to turn into the promiscuous wife from hell.

With are large age gap there will always be a high risk that the relationship will fail, but do not forget that such gaps are more acceptable in Thai society than they are in the west, and there are hundreds of thousands of middle aged and elderly Thais who have respectable marriages to women half or a third of their age - it isn't just post bellied, bald headed farangs who do this. So the culture is more accepting of marriages with a wide age gap and the women do not shake their heads in horror at such a relationship, like so many do in the west.

Also the hypocrisy on this subject in the west is staggering as celebrity after celebrity and millionaire after millionaire marry women a fraction of their age and nobody dares say a word, yet the minute they hear of an elderly farang in Thailand marrying a young Thai girl, they accuse him of sex exploitation, paedophilia and God knows what else besides. In Victorian times in the UK, marriages between 50 +year old men and teenage young women was commonplace.

The OP seems to be going into this relationship with his eyes wide open - which in my experience very few do - so he is giving himself a fighting chance of making a go of it though I do worry about the very young age of the girl, but there are always exceptions.

On the matter of who will be paying for the school fees etc, I suggest that the OP simply asks her. If she can't come up with a believable source of funds or tries to avoid the question, then her intentions will become pretty obvious.

Good luck - you're going to need it.

[thenervoussurgeon]

at 58 where else would you get a 22 year old to live with you ? go for it ,but try not to fall in love with her ,you will get hurt and when she does walk out just remember the good times ,but on the other hand if you want someone to look after you as you get older ,go for one in her mid thirties, they tend to stick around. .

[bob4you]

"so there would be an exposure that she moves out with all of my stuff when I am in Canada"

What a ridiculous statement. I furnished my entire 3 bedroom 3 bathroom house top to bottom with new furniture for less then 3K$AUD. Brand new fridge, washing machine, kitchen appliances, sofa, bed, wadrobes etc... On top of that there are a few $500 computers I brought with me when I orignally moved here for good.

I have been with my girl for three years and even if I came home from the beach tomorrow and EVERYTHING was gone, I wouldn't begrudge her theft because it is only 3K worth of junk...and a very fair settlement in my eyes. If I shacked up with a girl in Australia I stand to lose half of everything and legal fees on top of that to fight a defacto relationship claim.

Do you rent your condo? Is the furniture even yours?

Man up. Enjoy your time with that beautiful young girl (while it lasts). And if you have any gold, important documents, hard drives, or other precious or sentimental items, rent a safety deposit box to put them in while you are in Canada.

If the furniture in your condo is in fact yours, big deal, you come back from Canada and you have lost what?....5K worth of junk....big deal...how much would you pay PER DAY for the company of a lovely 22 year old back in Canada?

"so there would be an exposure that she moves out with all of my stuff when I am in Canada"

What a ridiculous statement. I furnished my entire 3 bedroom 3 bathroom house top to bottom with new furniture for less then 3K$AUD. Brand new fridge, washing machine, kitchen appliances, sofa, bed, wadrobes etc... On top of that there are a few $500 computers I brought with me when I orignally moved here for good.

I have been with my girl for three years and even if I came home from the beach tomorrow and EVERYTHING was gone, I wouldn't begrudge her theft because it is only 3K worth of junk...and a very fair settlement in my eyes. If I shacked up with a girl in Australia I stand to lose half of everything and legal fees on top of that to fight a defacto relationship claim.

Do you rent your condo? Is the furniture even yours?

Man up. Enjoy your time with that beautiful young girl (while it lasts). And if you have any gold, important documents, hard drives, or other precious or sentimental items, rent a safety deposit box to put them in while you are in Canada.

If the furniture in your condo is in fact yours, big deal, you come back from Canada and you have lost what?....5K worth of junk....big deal...how much would you pay PER DAY for the company of a lovely 22 year old back in Canada?

If she will take a 68 year old give her my name, I even have an extra bedroom when she is on PMS.

[cigar7]

"so there would be an exposure that she moves out with all of my stuff when I am in Canada"

What a ridiculous statement. I furnished my entire 3 bedroom 3 bathroom house top to bottom with new furniture for less then 3K$AUD. Brand new fridge, washing machine, kitchen appliances, sofa, bed, wadrobes etc... On top of that there are a few $500 computers I brought with me when I orignally moved here for good.

I have been with my girl for three years and even if I came home from the beach tomorrow and EVERYTHING was gone, I wouldn't begrudge her theft because it is only 3K worth of junk...and a very fair settlement in my eyes. If I shacked up with a girl in Australia I stand to lose half of everything and legal fees on top of that to fight a defacto relationship claim.

Do you rent your condo? Is the furniture even yours?

Man up. Enjoy your time with that beautiful young girl (while it lasts). And if you have any gold, important documents, hard drives, or other precious or sentimental items, rent a safety deposit box to put them in while you are in Canada.

If the furniture in your condo is in fact yours, big deal, you come back from Canada and you have lost what?....5K worth of junk....big deal...how much would you pay PER DAY for the company of a lovely 22 year old back in Canada?

Well, the furnture(300K), appliances(50K), electronics(70K) and effects(80k) in the place are estimated at about US$15K. Yes I do own the condo and contents. Insurance sounds like a good idea. I'll get a photo copy of her ID card etc. too.

[Payboy]

Heck, I'm a sugar daddy too. But I do try to spread my cubes around.

[meatballs]

Marriage SUCKS. Trust me. I feel like I have a ball and chain attached to my ankle. Stay single.

[Kaoboi Bebobp]

As someone else points out, we cannot tell you what to do. So . . .

What do you want? Do you want a girlfriend/wife for long-term? As far as I'm concerned, a 22-year-old is too young and will not be so dependable. Also there will be times you will fork out thousands of baht whether by direct request or subtle manipulation. Overall, in terms of financial support and dependability, a girl in her mid to late 30s will be a better bet.

If you just want a shag body, well, any age will do. But it should be someone you can just walk away from. Personally, I can't work that way.

I find guys who came from destroyed relationships in the west are less likely to want a long-term live-ins. I did not come here with a background of wives and kids. So I am more inclined to look for long-term companion because I never had that. (Also, I am tired of the bar/booze/girl scene.) Here, I kept my eye out for someone I could live with long-term. I think I got lucky one night. My TGF is 42 and a great and devoted companion.

[cigar7]

Not sure if its been mentioned, but Thai law doesn't recognise common law marriages so she will have no claims on you if the relationship breaks up, unless she can prove that you have taken something that clearly belongs to her.

After many years of research, during which time I have had many marriages and dozens of relationships with Thai women much younger than myself, I have come to the conclusion that the older the woman is, the better the chance of the relationship succeeding.

IMHO most Thai women do not mature emotionally until they are in their late 20's and before that age they tend to behave like teenagers. Of course there are always exceptions but in my experience, single Thai ladies in their early twenties pretty much live for today, and their main aim is to have a good time, and go out and enjoy themselves with their friends.

It is only when they reach their late 20's - which is considered old by many Thais in terms of their eligibility to find a husband.- that they start to take life more seriously and plan for the future. This is even more so when they reach their early 30's as by this point, in their minds they are definitely 'over the hill' and are getting desperate to find a stable relationship that will provide them with security. They have also sowed all the wild oats and have largely got it out of their system.

So I would always recommend that middle aged farangs look for girls in the age range 27-35 if they want to find a pretty young thing that will keep them happy in the old age and are less likely to turn into the promiscuous wife from hell.

With are large age gap there will always be a high risk that the relationship will fail, but do not forget that such gaps are more acceptable in Thai society than they are in the west, and there are hundreds of thousands of middle aged and elderly Thais who have respectable marriages to women half or a third of their age - it isn't just post bellied, bald headed farangs who do this. So the culture is more accepting of marriages with a wide age gap and the women do not shake their heads in horror at such a relationship, like so many do in the west.

Also the hypocrisy on this subject in the west is staggering as celebrity after celebrity and millionaire after millionaire marry women a fraction of their age and nobody dares say a word, yet the minute they hear of an elderly farang in Thailand marrying a young Thai girl, they accuse him of sex exploitation, paedophilia and God knows what else besides. In Victorian times in the UK, marriages between 50 +year old men and teenage young women was commonplace.

The OP seems to be going into this relationship with his eyes wide open - which in my experience very few do - so he is giving himself a fighting chance of making a go of it though I do worry about the very young age of the girl, but there are always exceptions.

On the matter of who will be paying for the school fees etc, I suggest that the OP simply asks her. If she can't come up with a believable source of funds or tries to avoid the question, then her intentions will become pretty obvious.

Good luck - you're going to need it.

Your research is on the money; this one behaves like a teenager, gets upset easily if I identify and issue or problem with what she has done, loves attention and affection. She also has strong opinions about what she likes and doesn't like. I like learning about her attitude, behaviour and personality, it's quite fascinating. I probe, test and challenge her thinking, to learn how to get her more psychologically attached to me.

I also agree with your age range personalities. I agree there is a high risk of failure, but until that point, it should very enjoyable, if the past experiences are an indicator of the future.