Girlfriend Want To Move In With Me - Comments?

[007]

Living for free in a nice spacious condo with a guy who pays for my meals, clothes, and later for my tuition - hey, can I be the one to live with you?

No, seriously, it sounds all very nice. Go for it, if you trust her. Just remember that you'll be expected to pay for most, if not all her expenses once she's a student (if not earlier). I'd be worried about the time that I'm not in Pattaya - is there anything worth selling in your condo?

An age gap doesn't seem to be an issue in Thailand. But it's important to set rules. Good luck!

[noob7]

Living for free in a nice spacious condo with a guy who pays for my meals, clothes, and later for my tuition - hey, can I be the one to live with you?

No, seriously, it sounds all very nice. Go for it, if you trust her. Just remember that you'll be expected to pay for most, if not all her expenses once she's a student (if not earlier). I'd be worried about the time that I'm not in Pattaya - is there anything worth selling in your condo?

An age gap doesn't seem to be an issue in Thailand. But it's important to set rules. Good luck!

Wasn't the rule "You make me happy, I make you happy?"

[Basil B]

Two important things I see here:

Trust,

Move your stuff out when go home will tell her you do not trust her.

Getting a copy of her ID card is another way to tell her you do not trust her.

My suggestion would be to introduce her at the Juristic office for your condominium as a person sharing with you and may be using your room when you are not there , they will probably want to take a copy of ID card.

She will be studding at Uni, so is not likely to skip town and if she does move out with half or even all your stuff, if you reported her to the police you would be making a lot of trouble for her.

Question is, when you meet her on a dating site were you or/and her mentioning longterm "till death do use part" relationship or just fun?

[noob7]

Two important things I see here:

Trust,

Move your stuff out when go home will tell her you do not trust her.

Getting a copy of her ID card is another way to tell her you do not trust her.

My suggestion would be to introduce her at the Juristic office for your condominium as a person sharing with you and may be using your room when you are not there , they will probably want to take a copy of ID card.

She will be studding at Uni, so is not likely to skip town and if she does move out with half or even all your stuff, if you reported her to the police you would be making a lot of trouble for her.

Question is, when you meet her on a dating site were you or/and her mentioning longterm "till death do use part" relationship or just fun?

I do see this situation like a 'good girl' situation, not a 'spoiled bar girl' situation. (Out of the intro from OP)

And out of my experience, university is minimum 4 years. Plus the year, to get the paper, maybe!

I do not see, that she will steal, rob, whatever, from the apartment.

As long the relationship is useful and good, for her.

There might be the one or the other small thing go missing, but mostly more because of visitors during his absence. Looking (only) personal important things somewhere could help.

Also university is 2 terms, a year. As soon his travel time is during the off time, she will move to her old area, with old friends. Or to the family.

My calculation about the costs for a young girlfriend, in this case, would be about 6-10k in cash/month. The difference is because of 'have to send money back home' or not.

He offers university and free living, maybe the family can live with it!

Also the university fees, the mobil plus some refills, plus all the needed things (shopping, cinema, shopping, dinner,scooter, gasoline, ....), that happens in a relationship, with a 'housewife'.

Hint: twice a week 50 baht is more, as one time 100 baht. The 'one time' 100 baht will become a 2 times 100, anyway. And she will, even after the transfer of 50/100 baht to her, say thank you only with a r-call. The money is for people, that do not call back, after you r-called them! And for own r-call requests from friends. b/c she has Farang bf!

Plus additional fines, if get caught for (assumed?) Gig adventures. Maybe the one or the other Baht in Gold will blend that, then.

Edited December 29, 2012 by noob7

[Chivas]

No No No AND NO AGAIN..........!!

Dont let them move in.........Take it from me it is an utter nightmare and expensive and opens you up to a myriad of "loss of face claims" should you want to remove her from your place or the relationship breaks up..........!

[luudee]

Wow, so much envy and negative talk here !

OP, go for it, and enjoy it as long as it lasts. Use common sense, get a

copy of her ID card, give her some money ... who cares ? She is happy

you are happy, everybody is a winner.

Cheers,

luudee

[davejones]

I live with my Thai gf and have been away on business a few times, and my stuff was always there when I got back. I had no reason to think it wouldn't be and it never crossed my mind. You're 58 years old, so surely you have enough experience to be able to judge people. I doubt she'll run away with your stuff. If you earn more than her, of course you'll have to pay for some things, but that's the same in any culture, even UK, USA etc. If she's not a bar girl then there's no reason you should have any problems at all. Only problem I can see is the huge age difference. She obviously wants some security, as do all people. Hell, even I'd shack up with an older woman if I was poor and she was rich. Doesn't mean money would be the only reason. Relationships are complex and not all about love at all, even in Western societies. People marry and stick together for lots of other reasons. If you're both happy with living together, then go for it. I can't see that you have anything to lose. I can't see the point of renting a room for it. That's just a solution for paranoid people. Either you want to be with her or you don't. You're old enough to make this decision yourself.

One additional thing. If you break up she'll just move out. Seen it plenty of times. Never seen any drama. There's nothing really different about Thai women in that respect. But I'm talking about non-bar girls. I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

So please don't listen to all the rubbish posted on this forum that claims all Thai women are the same. Many on here have never even met a decent Thai woman.

[BookMan]

Two important things I see here:

Trust,

Move your stuff out when go home will tell her you do not trust her.

Getting a copy of her ID card is another way to tell her you do not trust her.

My suggestion would be to introduce her at the Juristic office for your condominium as a person sharing with you and may be using your room when you are not there , they will probably want to take a copy of ID card.

She will be studding at Uni, so is not likely to skip town and if she does move out with half or even all your stuff, if you reported her to the police you would be making a lot of trouble for her.

Question is, when you meet her on a dating site were you or/and her mentioning longterm "till death do use part" relationship or just fun?

I do see this situation like a 'good girl' situation, not a 'spoiled bar girl' situation. (Out of the intro from OP)

And out of my experience, university is minimum 4 years. Plus the year, to get the paper, maybe!

I do not see, that she will steal, rob, whatever, from the apartment.

As long the relationship is useful and good, for her.

There might be the one or the other small thing go missing, but mostly more because of visitors during his absence. Looking (only) personal important things somewhere could help.

Also university is 2 terms, a year. As soon his travel time is during the off time, she will move to her old area, with old friends. Or to the family.

My calculation about the costs for a young girlfriend, in this case, would be about 6-10k in cash/month. The difference is because of 'have to send money back home' or not.

He offers university and free living, maybe the family can live with it!

Also the university fees, the mobil plus some refills, plus all the needed things (shopping, cinema, shopping, dinner,scooter, gasoline, ....), that happens in a relationship, with a 'housewife'.

Hint: twice a week 50 baht is more, as one time 100 baht. The 'one time' 100 baht will become a 2 times 100, anyway. And she will, even after the transfer of 50/100 baht to her, say thank you only with a r-call. The money is for people, that do not call back, after you r-called them! And for own r-call requests from friends. b/c she has Farang bf!

Plus additional fines, if get caught for (assumed?) Gig adventures. Maybe the one or the other Baht in Gold will blend that, then.

What is an 'r-call' Noob?

[BookMan]

4k?

Yeez, I never realised my right hand was that valuable.

I'm guessing YOUR right hand isn't Jbrain

[TommoPhysicist]

I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

So please don't listen to all the rubbish posted on this forum that claims all Thai women are the same. Many on here have never even met a decent Thai woman.

If you have no bar girl experience, how do you know they don't act like all the other girls?

[davejones]

I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

So please don't listen to all the rubbish posted on this forum that claims all Thai women are the same. Many on here have never even met a decent Thai woman.

If you have no bar girl experience, how do you know they don't act like all the other girls?

From the comments on forums like this and what I have heard and read from other farangs who have had horror stories with bar girls. I never hear horror stories from people in relationships with non-bar girls. I'm sure there are some, as there are everywhere, but they are the exception not he rule. Common sense should be enough to know that prostitutes are not the same as non-prostitutes. Surely you know that.

[TommoPhysicist]

From the comments on forums like this and what I have heard and read from other farangs who have had horror stories with bar girls. I never hear horror stories from people in relationships with non-bar girls. I'm sure there are some, as there are everywhere, but they are the exception not he rule. Common sense should be enough to know that prostitutes are not the same as non-prostitutes. Surely you know that.

Most of the foreign guys in Thailand have no idea who was a bar girl and who wasn't.

(they also can't tell the other forms of prostitutes ..... which covers about 20x more girls than the 'bar girl' occupation).

Just because a girl once worked as a prostitute, doesn't mean she is dishonest.

[MichelBangkok]

Yes, I am willing to pay for her tuition.

That was the important one!

Have a great time.

Expect to spend 200-300k per year.

Lets do some simple maths here, take 200k per year as being what he will pay.

Pattaya BF and LT rate of say 4k.

200k/4k = 50.

As long as he gets laid more than once a week he is in profit.

Its all the other BS he will have to endure along the way than only he can answer if its worth it.

Anybody serious here? 4K? 50 times a year? Three times a week ? Viagra ? Are most TV esteemed contributors only obsessed by sex ? What about the relationships, the friendships, the emotions? How much do you put a price tag on these ? On a per/day, per/month or per/year basis ?

[MichelBangkok]

I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

So please don't listen to all the rubbish posted on this forum that claims all Thai women are the same. Many on here have never even met a decent Thai woman.

If you have no bar girl experience, how do you know they don't act like all the other girls?

And many Thai women have never met a decent Foreigner...

[noob7]

I do see this situation like a 'good girl' situation, not a 'spoiled bar girl' situation. (Out of the intro from OP)

And out of my experience, university is minimum 4 years. Plus the year, to get the paper, maybe!

I do not see, that she will steal, rob, whatever, from the apartment.

As long the relationship is useful and good, for her.

There might be the one or the other small thing go missing, but mostly more because of visitors during his absence. Looking (only) personal important things somewhere could help.

Also university is 2 terms, a year. As soon his travel time is during the off time, she will move to her old area, with old friends. Or to the family.

My calculation about the costs for a young girlfriend, in this case, would be about 6-10k in cash/month. The difference is because of 'have to send money back home' or not.

He offers university and free living, maybe the family can live with it!

Also the university fees, the mobil plus some refills, plus all the needed things (shopping, cinema, shopping, dinner,scooter, gasoline, ....), that happens in a relationship, with a 'housewife'.

Hint: twice a week 50 baht is more, as one time 100 baht. The 'one time' 100 baht will become a 2 times 100, anyway. And she will, even after the transfer of 50/100 baht to her, say thank you only with a r-call. The money is for people, that do not call back, after you r-called them! And for own r-call requests from friends. b/c she has Farang bf!

Plus additional fines, if get caught for (assumed?) Gig adventures. Maybe the one or the other Baht in Gold will blend that, then.

What is an 'r-call' Noob?

ring and wait for you to call back

U know, in case, you stop the call, after the people answered it, in the first sec. it was free of charge?

That's r-call for advanced user. Or in case, the answer was to quick!

Edited December 29, 2012 by noob7

[BookMan]

I do see this situation like a 'good girl' situation, not a 'spoiled bar girl' situation. (Out of the intro from OP)

And out of my experience, university is minimum 4 years. Plus the year, to get the paper, maybe!

I do not see, that she will steal, rob, whatever, from the apartment.

As long the relationship is useful and good, for her.

There might be the one or the other small thing go missing, but mostly more because of visitors during his absence. Looking (only) personal important things somewhere could help.

Also university is 2 terms, a year. As soon his travel time is during the off time, she will move to her old area, with old friends. Or to the family.

My calculation about the costs for a young girlfriend, in this case, would be about 6-10k in cash/month. The difference is because of 'have to send money back home' or not.

He offers university and free living, maybe the family can live with it!

Also the university fees, the mobil plus some refills, plus all the needed things (shopping, cinema, shopping, dinner,scooter, gasoline, ....), that happens in a relationship, with a 'housewife'.

Hint: twice a week 50 baht is more, as one time 100 baht. The 'one time' 100 baht will become a 2 times 100, anyway. And she will, even after the transfer of 50/100 baht to her, say thank you only with a r-call. The money is for people, that do not call back, after you r-called them! And for own r-call requests from friends. b/c she has Farang bf!

Plus additional fines, if get caught for (assumed?) Gig adventures. Maybe the one or the other Baht in Gold will blend that, then.

What is an 'r-call' Noob?

ring and wait for you to call back

U know, in case, you stop the call, after the people answered it, in the first sec. it was free of charge?

That's r-call for advanced user. Ot in case, you answer to quick!

Ahh, yes, thanks for answering. I know it as 'prank calling'. I had to teach my current GF the technique

[tingtongtourist]

My only comment is that I am unable to deal with women acting like kids. It can be funny as a one-off, but as an regular occurrence would drive me nuts. Maybe I have no patience to help someone grow up.

Whatever happens, good luck.

hmm...how long does it take them to grow up then?

My ex, 33 years, like a spoilt brat but for certain does throw a very scary tantrum when she dont get her own way. After live with her and got away i decide i will NEVER put myself through this again

Sadly, have not met another since then who do not act in this very same way and loose all hope to even find someone sane

To the OP, you are old enough now, trust me this situation you consider will make you to age very quickly!!

I lived with girls when i was in 40's and is bad enough, i could not put up with their BS at and old age

[tingtongtourist]

I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

So please don't listen to all the rubbish posted on this forum that claims all Thai women are the same. Many on here have never even met a decent Thai woman.

If you have no bar girl experience, how do you know they don't act like all the other girls?

yes good observation..all these knowalls truelly know everything but yet they never had a bad girl or been in a bad situation themself

I was once drinking with a table of farang guys some time ago. 1 guy only been here a week or so, the rest has been here for years. So the new guy asks how is the Thai lady in behaviour as compared to western GF and woman in general?

I tell him IMO at least from my experience..you can take the most crazy and psycho nutjob western GF you ever did know and then times this by 100fold...then that will give you some idea what to expect

all the others did agree, thinking this very accurate description

[Honkie]

Cigar7....not envy of you, go ahead and enjoy yourself and do whatever you see fit but stop kidding yourself the girl wants to be with you for the LOVE of YOU.

Then again some of us might be wrong , who knows , there are bound to be somebody who wins the lottery so you might strike gold this time ,

good luck.

[tingtongtourist]

I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

So please don't listen to all the rubbish posted on this forum that claims all Thai women are the same. Many on here have never even met a decent Thai woman.

If you have no bar girl experience, how do you know they don't act like all the other girls?

From the comments on forums like this and what I have heard and read from other farangs who have had horror stories with bar girls. I never hear horror stories from people in relationships with non-bar girls. I'm sure there are some, as there are everywhere, but they are the exception not he rule. Common sense should be enough to know that prostitutes are not the same as non-prostitutes. Surely you know that.

the trouble with your logic sir is sometimes you meet a girl in the 30 or 40s, doesnt work anywhere near the bar, has a normal job but later you will find out she did work in Pattaya bar scene when in her 20s. I think this is the case more times than we think

[sirchai]

I'd only let her move in your condo AND pay for all expenses for her Thai lover, kids, mother's expensive medication, treatment for sick buffaloes, some nice lingerie, pocket money, etc if she'd told you that he'd love you too much.

Why would you buy a whole cow, if you only want to drink a glass of milk? It's that easy.--

[noob7]

I do see this situation like a 'good girl' situation, not a 'spoiled bar girl' situation. (Out of the intro from OP)

And out of my experience, university is minimum 4 years. Plus the year, to get the paper, maybe!

I do not see, that she will steal, rob, whatever, from the apartment.

As long the relationship is useful and good, for her.

There might be the one or the other small thing go missing, but mostly more because of visitors during his absence. Looking (only) personal important things somewhere could help.

Also university is 2 terms, a year. As soon his travel time is during the off time, she will move to her old area, with old friends. Or to the family.

My calculation about the costs for a young girlfriend, in this case, would be about 6-10k in cash/month. The difference is because of 'have to send money back home' or not.

He offers university and free living, maybe the family can live with it!

Also the university fees, the mobil plus some refills, plus all the needed things (shopping, cinema, shopping, dinner,scooter, gasoline, ....), that happens in a relationship, with a 'housewife'.

Hint: twice a week 50 baht is more, as one time 100 baht. The 'one time' 100 baht will become a 2 times 100, anyway. And she will, even after the transfer of 50/100 baht to her, say thank you only with a r-call. The money is for people, that do not call back, after you r-called them! And for own r-call requests from friends. b/c she has Farang bf!

Plus additional fines, if get caught for (assumed?) Gig adventures. Maybe the one or the other Baht in Gold will blend that, then.

What is an 'r-call' Noob?

ring and wait for you to call back

U know, in case, you stop the call, after the people answered it, in the first sec. it was free of charge?

That's r-call for advanced user. Ot in case, you answer to quick!

Ahh, yes, thanks for answering. I know it as 'prank calling'. I had to teach my current GF the technique

So you ring her, she calls back?

I know it as 'reverse call charge', from the old days, with no mobil phones

Sometimes I think, the invention of caller-ID's was a big scam!

Edited December 29, 2012 by noob7

[Chivas]

One additional thing. If you break up she'll just move out. Seen it plenty of times. Never seen any drama. There's nothing really different about Thai women in that respect. But I'm talking about non-bar girls. I don't have any bar girl experience, so can't comment. But from reading these forums, it seems that is is mostly bar girls and uneducated people that cause problems. Dating an educated girl is no different to dating back home. That's my experience and that of others I know that are in the same situation.

Well let me tell you a story !!!!!

No I wont but take it from me Rich Thai Girls or Poor Bar Girls react identically when for whatever reason you want them out.....................!

The Rich one reacting so badly I have not seen my son since 2007......

[NanLaew]

The OP should keep his own space and she should keep hers; up to him if he wants to pay her rent. I did this with girlfriends in the UK, Brazil and the US (never paid anyone's rent though). Only in LOS does there seem to be an overwhelming amount of older guys that are so besotted that they can't imagine not having their squeeze in their sight 24/7... and paying for everything as well. Having said that, there's also a fair sized contingent of the younger, stalker type foreigner who will probably deny that they seek a well-fit, live-in as well.

"I come home after a long day and few beers with my fellow boilermen and there she is watching telly, all pretty and pert in the lingerie I bought specially for her, with her little plates of leaves, wichety grubs and the long-dead fish.... Oh, I am so blessed here in paradise."

[raro]

The tantrum throwing seems to be rampant among Thai girls. Had only one before with this problem and yes, we split up because I couldn't take it any longer. All other girls I was with did not have this problem.

I know horrific stories from friends, though. I believe it's the symptom of an underlying inferior complex. As soon as it shows, show her the door.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

[Headgame]

I really didn't want to jump again into this thread but here goes.

A lot of the "advice" is just so wrong.

First the always popular age issue. Is it a factor" of course if you don't have any common interests, etc. etc.But that's not relevant unless at 58, you've just become so set in your ways that you've checked out. I'm 68 and consider myself "in the game" both physically, emotionally, culturally, etc. Young at heart.

Can a young lady be interested in an old guy? Well, it must be so for some and that includes me. Does my 33 year old sweetie love me. Well she says she does all the time but in reality, it probably is a very strong affection for me and everything I do for her. This is where Thai culture comes in and don't let anyone tell you women are all the same around the world - same, same but different.

I am fortunate that she has no children, does not want children and does not, I repeat, does not, support momma and poppa back in the village. I have no problem making sure she has a few thousand baht in her purse at all times, buying her nice clothes, traveling with her, helping her improve her english and making sure she has the skills to continue to be independent after I'm gone. I do not consider her to be someone that just looks good on my arm although she surely does. We have a blast together. She is the most caring and loving person and I am one lucky guy. BTW, she doesn't have an email account or Facebook page and her cell phone is not beeping all day with SMS messages or calls.

And so here is the key issue for so many insecure westerners who believe one's occupation defines who the person is. Yes, she was a bar girl. However, not the scheming, lying, conniving, take all your money, never to be trusted person that many comment on. IOW, since she was a bar girl, she is a bad person and therefore you will get what you deserve because she was a bar girl - you idiot or you old fool.

Do bar girls get a jaded attitude so stereotypically presented by poster after poster? yes, they do but just as often because they have been lied to by so many guys making promises they never keep. Always two sides to every story.

I was a lawyer for 25 years, one of the least respected professions in the world as documented in survey after survey. However, does that make me someone to not be respected as a person. Seriously, how ridiculous.

Most men are just so freaking insecure about sex - grow a pair.

So my advice to the OP - do whatever you want to do, just be cautious as anyone would be in any new relationship and let the trust build over time. If you don't have any money, and every stang is precious, probably not a relationship for you. However so many posters here must get their currencies confused. We are talking baht not US dollars or euros. Really, are you taking the money with you?

My ex wife in CA was the cost of a harem in TH and i mean a large harem. Is everyone so worried about mis-spending their money? No risk, no reward. However, never invest more than you can afford to lose.

I, for one, sincerely hope it works out for you. Maybe, just maybe, you will be as happy an idiot and old fool as I am.

[Phronesis]

Why would you buy a whole cow, if you only want to drink a glass of milk? It's that easy.--

Because it is not a cow. It is a lovely, young, farm fresh calf.

[raro]

@ headgame: excellent post and thanks for putting things back into proportion.

As for the OP, go for it and see. Don't get put off by all the naysayers around here.

I like to add, NONE of my ex girlfriends were living off my money, all were working and had their own income. My wife for almost seven years works hard with me in our own business, a part time job, mother and housewife and although she comes from a very conservative background she is a very open minded and outspoken person. Some moderators on this board are actually shitscared of her

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

[Traxster]

Girlfriend move in with you ?

No, No, No, No ,No...................ad infinitum....NO !!

[marstons]

make sure the balcolny railing are high and secure, also get some non slip flooring in the bath room area. Also dont forget to post on here when you feel a bowel movement coming on whether you shold go to the loo or not.