Plane Spotting - The Quiz

[chiang mai]

Mmmmm, nice!

[Jay Sata]

Here is one for you experts.

I took this en route from Khon Kaen to Nakhon Sawan.

What is the aircraft? The instruments will help you and tell you something about the type of airframe. (It's not military)

[smoochy]

Diamond?

I don't know GA very well so it's just a guess.

[David48]

Just for fun and I'm sure you've read them before ...

Hysterical Air Tower Instructions

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"



Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"



From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f....ing bored!"

Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f....ing stupid!"

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747:"United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."

United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."



A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked,"What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff?"



A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.

San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

(That Thai flight in from China on Sunday could have also used that bit of advice ... )

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):"Because you lost the bloody war!"

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... We've already notified our caterers."



One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.

The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said: “What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot.

They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):"Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206: (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."


While taxiing at London 's Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:

"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway!

You turned right on Delta!

Stop right there.

I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:

"God! Now you've screwed everything up!

It'll take forever to sort this out!

You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771.

Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: ... "Wasn't I married to you once?"

[SinglePot]

Here is one for you experts.

I took this en route from Khon Kaen to Nakhon Sawan.

What is the aircraft? The instruments will help you and tell you something about the type of airframe. (It's not military)

Beechcraft?

[Jay Sata]

Nope. It's not a Diamond or a composite.

It has been modified. The instruments give a hint and the altitude

[SeaVisionBurma]

Nope. It's not a Diamond or a composite.

It has been modified. The instruments give a hint and the altitude

Rockwell?

[SinglePot]

Nope. It's not a Diamond or a composite.

It has been modified. The instruments give a hint and the altitude

In level flight at 20,000 ft.

Over to the experts.

[Dancealot]

Anatov.

No idea the model without googling it.

It's been a week, can I disclose the identity of my photo?

I gave up already! Please thrill me.

[Jay Sata]

Single pot is correct it at fl20 or 20 thousand feet.

Which means it's pressurised.

It's got one engine and flight level 20 to 23 is optimum but it can go higher.

As you can see it's not too big up front.

[Dancealot]

Here is one for you experts.

I took this en route from Khon Kaen to Nakhon Sawan.

What is the aircraft? The instruments will help you and tell you something about the type of airframe. (It's not military)

Beechcraft?

Modified Embraer?

[smoochy]

Anatov.

No idea the model without googling it.

It's been a week, can I disclose the identity of my photo?

I gave up already! Please thrill me.

Not really thrilling, it's an A300-600F.

http://www.aslaviationgroup.com/index.php/media/single/asl-expands-its-operations-to-the-far-east

Air Contractors Ltd. from Ireland. Currently operating HKG-SGN-PEN and occasionally HKG-BKK on behalf of DHL.

Cheers.

[SinglePot]

Nice one transam.

Can you help us out with the plane made from balsa wood that has a ceiling over 23,000 ft?

[SinglePot]

Nice one transam.

Can you help us out with the plane made from balsa wood that has a ceiling over 23,000 ft?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, The Hurricane and Mosquito were made of wood but don't know about ceilings.

Useful tip for you trans.

Above 20,000 ft chances of catching Dengue Fever are remote.

I am just recovering now.

Hope you are well.

[GrantSmith]

Always enjoy listening to the ATC, a good mate of mine is the Senior Safety Officer at Sydney. They get away with saying some seriously funny shit...

I remember listening one morning awaiting the arrival of a Thai bird *boom tish... thank you.. thank you very much...* and the Thai pilot came on with his broken english requesting permission to land... Before the ATC can come on, my mate jumps on and faking an eqaully broken asian accent remarks "herro thai" and timed it perfectly as the ATC started confirming the details straight after...

Still makes me giggle... Though highly unprofessional, gives the guys and girls in the ATC tower a bit of a kick too...

As for Jay's intstruments pic...

Got me stumped, pressurised GA... Going for a Cessna Citation...

[cdnvic]

[smoochy]

I love low pass videos. The F1 video is crazy but the noise of the Merlin on the Spitfire again makes me feel all tingly.

[SinglePot]

Early morning on what looks like a very rural airfield.

Looks like serious money involved.

[cdnvic]

There is. It's days, if not hours away from beginning it's flight test program.

[Jay Sata]

Always enjoy listening to the ATC, a good mate of mine is the Senior Safety Officer at Sydney. They get away with saying some seriously funny shit...

I remember listening one morning awaiting the arrival of a Thai bird *boom tish... thank you.. thank you very much...* and the Thai pilot came on with his broken english requesting permission to land... Before the ATC can come on, my mate jumps on and faking an eqaully broken asian accent remarks "herro thai" and timed it perfectly as the ATC started confirming the details straight after...

Still makes me giggle... Though highly unprofessional, gives the guys and girls in the ATC tower a bit of a kick too...

As for Jay's intstruments pic...

Got me stumped, pressurised GA... Going for a Cessna Citation...

So you've spotted it's a turbine....

Congrats

#It's a turbo prop single engine

Here is the wing and if you are interested that one of the lakes near Khon Kaen

[Jay Sata]

Have I made this too hard?

[smoochy]

Nice ride.

[GrantSmith]

Have I made this too hard?

Modified for ferrying?

[SinglePot]

Have I made this too hard?

Socata?

[smoochy]

Have I made this too hard?

Modified for ferrying?

Looks like a weather radar in the pod.

[smoochy]

Just a guess but the C-jet from Bombardier.

[SinglePot]

http://cseries.com/bombardier-targets-september-16-for-cseries-aircraft-maiden-flight/

I'm on something a little less new to LHR on Monday.

[SinglePot]

Yes transam. The statistics for mortality in economy class on a Lancaster are frightening.

Respect.

[khaosai]

Have I made this too hard?

Modified for ferrying?

Looks like a weather radar in the pod.

TBM 700 ?

Lovely looking machine. Any chance of a go in it ?

[smoochy]

There is. It's days, if not hours away from beginning it's flight test program.

So....did I win?