Westerners Behaviour Towards Thai Women In Public.

[Tchooptip]

Do Westerners consider every Thai woman they pass is such an easy girls they could pick her up in minutes?

I am conscious it's a hazardous topic on TV even more so for a non native English speaker who will lack the subtleties of the language (sorry)

What do the honourable members think of some/many foreigners outrageously flirty attitude towards complete stranger Thai women in public places

Why this question ? For the time being I am in France to settle private matters, I took the opportunity to have an eye surgery that goes wrong so I am kind of stranded in France for the moment.

The topic : My wife, 45 years old, went to her parents home in north. (not in Pattaya )

Recently in a daily conversation on Skype, she told me with a laugh that some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

If the woman accepts a drink for instance, it would be different.

I know my wife is an ever smiling person. However, almost no make up, never dressed in kind of mini skirt or similar, on the contrary, often with a Thaiish long skirt down to the ground, her family being very Buddhist she more then often go to temple.

So…Was she "spotted" for being alone most of the time when shopping? (brother and sister working) Or is it a daily routine in LOS ?

I know many Western men consider Thailand kind of a hunting ground for their favourite sport :-)

But believing each Thai woman they pass can be approach in the streets or shopping centers, IMHO is a bit too much .

Last year I went to a birthday party, among the guests a few farangs utter stranger to us, particularly a few Russians. I have learned afterward, one Russian probably under the influence managed to ask her if she was somehow engaged with me. I am not unnecessarily jealous, but rather slightly irritated by the coarseness. Do some of you shared the same experience with their wifes/GF ? If yes how did you react?

[true blue]

good topic,it does go a lot with terrority(country)and there seems to be a lot more predators out on the streets lately,especially at the supermarkets,feel sorry for the thai women to some extent.

[NanLaew]

Indeed, you wife does have a charming smile and dresses conservatively and I admit to perhaps being a bit boorish and asking her if she had a boyfriend. Please don't judge me on this and I do apologise if you are somehow offended, regardless of the fact that she wasn't.

Heaven forbid that my wife should find out!

[Poo Ying FeFe]

It just seems like you have good taste and you're wife is very attractive without even trying. I think this happens all over the world, not just Thailand. Times are changing and everyone is more up-front about their feelings.

[richard_smith237]

On one extreme some blokes are predatory and lecherous on the other extreme a lot are gentlemen being innocently polite. Some fit the grey area between and might be looking for an opener.

Whichever it is, it's hardly anything for the Op to be annoyed at unless it really is an regular and annoying issue, there really is nothing anyone can do about it unless they are with their Wife or Partner.

That said, I do understand the Ops curiosity as I often see men in shopping Malls being overtly flirtatious with an awkward looking female shop assistant. But I think the answer is quite simple, Thailand has a reputation, some men fail to recognise the difference between 'type of woman' and fail be respectful of their surroundings. This very same type of character usually has such a clumsy personality he'll make an idiot of himself anywhere !....

Edited January 15, 2013 by richard_smith237

[Trembly]

Thai men do it too. Actually, Thai women also do it.

Usually it's only teenage boys and girls with raging hormones or those who still cling to the memory of raging hormones that do it to complete strangers, and it's usually given and taken as harmless banter (with the option to escalate). In my experience and observations it often does nothing worse than to cause a blush and a secret confidence boost.

There are a couple of middle-aged Thai lady teachers in my school who are constantly verbally (sometimes physically) pinching my arm and making cheeky comments, but you know what, they're actually quite funny and the exchanges always end in laughs.

Guys do it to waitresses, and if the waitress gives as good as she gets the whole table will get a laugh at the guy's expense. Good vibes all round. I've never met a girl who, all things being equal, didn't know how to let a man know that there's a line that he's not allowed to cross. Some do it with more style than others.

Apart from the international problem of people who actually become pests (which is another matter altogether) the only problem I can see regarding farang and this kind of behaviour is that sometimes the farang don't speak enough Thai and the Thais probably don't speak enough English to make it banter. The fact that such open and casual play-flirting can be rather awkward to do in some western societies probably doesn't help either.

Edited January 15, 2013 by Trembly

[mistephenso]

Thai men do it too. Actually, Thai women also do it.

Usually it's only teenage boys and girls with raging hormones or those who still cling to the memory of raging hormones that do it to complete strangers, and it's usually given and taken as harmless banter (with the option to escalate). In my experience and observations it often does nothing worse than to cause a blush and a secret confidence boost.

There are a couple of middle-aged Thai teachers in my school who are constantly verbally (sometimes physically) pinching my arm and making cheeky ccomments, but you know what, they're actually quite funny and the exchanges always end in laughs all round.

Guys do it to waitresses, and if the waitress gives as good as she gets the whole table will get a laugh at the guy's expense. Good vibes all round. I've never met a girl who, all things being equal, didn't know how to let a man know that there's a line that he's not allowed to cross. Some do it with more style than others.

Apart from the international problem of people who actually become pests (which is another matter altogether) the only problem I can see regarding farang and this kind of behaviour is that sometimes the farang probably don't speak enough Thai and the Thais probably don't speak enough English to make it banter. The fact that such open and casual flirting can be rather awkward to do in some western societies probably doesn't help either.

Wow - well said.

If you aren't the best looking person you might find you have a problem too, but don't let that stop anyone!!

Game on... ;o)

[Trembly]

Thai men do it too. Actually, Thai women also do it.

Usually it's only teenage boys and girls with raging hormones or those who still cling to the memory of raging hormones that do it to complete strangers, and it's usually given and taken as harmless banter (with the option to escalate). In my experience and observations it often does nothing worse than to cause a blush and a secret confidence boost.

There are a couple of middle-aged Thai teachers in my school who are constantly verbally (sometimes physically) pinching my arm and making cheeky ccomments, but you know what, they're actually quite funny and the exchanges always end in laughs all round.

Guys do it to waitresses, and if the waitress gives as good as she gets the whole table will get a laugh at the guy's expense. Good vibes all round. I've never met a girl who, all things being equal, didn't know how to let a man know that there's a line that he's not allowed to cross. Some do it with more style than others.

Apart from the international problem of people who actually become pests (which is another matter altogether) the only problem I can see regarding farang and this kind of behaviour is that sometimes the farang probably don't speak enough Thai and the Thais probably don't speak enough English to make it banter. The fact that such open and casual flirting can be rather awkward to do in some western societies probably doesn't help either.

Wow - well said.

If you aren't the best looking person you might find you have a problem too, but don't let that stop anyone!!

Game on... ;o)

Allowing for different personality archetypes, it doesn't stop the Thais that I know!

[NanLaew]

The hub of hitting on maybe?

[manarak]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

Edited January 15, 2013 by manarak

[Tchooptip]

On one extreme some blokes are predatory and lecherous on the other extreme a lot are gentlemen being innocently polite. Some fit the grey area between and might be looking for an opener.

Whichever it is, it's hardly anything for the Op to be annoyed at unless it really is an regular and annoying issue, there really is nothing anyone can do about it unless they are with their Wife or Partner.

That said, I do understand the Ops curiosity as I often see men in shopping Malls being overtly flirtatious with an awkward looking female shop assistant. But I think the answer is quite simple, Thailand has a reputation, some men fail to recognise the difference between 'type of woman' and fail be respectful of their surroundings. This very same type of character usually has such a clumsy personality he'll make an idiot of himself anywhere !....

You are right Maybe "such a clumsy personality they'll make an idiot of themselves anywhere "!....I haven't seen it that way

[rene123]

If you think Thailand is bad then you should visit some Middle eastern countries where the local men are total louts when it comes to western women. There have been some good replies here and if I was the OP I wouldn't worry too much. His wife obviously knows how to douse the guy's flame. There is nothing really wrong with a man approaching a woman in a friendly way, or even asking if she has a husband or boy friend. All she needs to do is smile and say "yes, I have a husband.". If the guy persists then that is when she needs to make herself a little more clear. Some of the boorish Russian louts in Pattaya can't seem to understand a firm "NO!"

[Tchooptip]

Thai men do it too. Actually, Thai women also do it.

Usually it's only teenage boys and girls with raging hormones or those who still cling to the memory of raging hormones that do it to complete strangers, and it's usually given and taken as harmless banter (with the option to escalate). In my experience and observations it often does nothing worse than to cause a blush and a secret confidence boost.

There are a couple of middle-aged Thai lady teachers in my school who are constantly verbally (sometimes physically) pinching my arm and making cheeky comments, but you know what, they're actually quite funny and the exchanges always end in laughs.

Guys do it to waitresses, and if the waitress gives as good as she gets the whole table will get a laugh at the guy's expense. Good vibes all round. I've never met a girl who, all things being equal, didn't know how to let a man know that there's a line that he's not allowed to cross. Some do it with more style than others.

Apart from the international problem of people who actually become pests (which is another matter altogether) the only problem I can see regarding farang and this kind of behaviour is that sometimes the farang don't speak enough Thai and the Thais probably don't speak enough English to make it banter. The fact that such open and casual play-flirting can be rather awkward to do in some western societies probably doesn't help either.

I've never met a girl who, all things being equal, didn't know how to let a man know that there's a line that he's not allowed to cross. Some do it with more style than others.

Yes yes of course that is why this type of question in superfluous ( and rude) when asked at the very beginning of a conversation, when the woman on the other hand is not supposed to draw any line beforehand.

[GooEng]

It just seems like you have good taste and you're wife is very attractive without even trying. I think this happens all over the world, not just Thailand. Times are changing and everyone is more up-front about their feelings.

Do you have a boyfriend?

[Tchooptip]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

I am sorry but I said bluntly , it has nothing to do with complicated but with politeness, if asked tactfully latter on no problem ...of course, but presently they are behaving no better than a buffalo

[kyb789]

If women were agressive the same, then men wouldn't have this reputation. Only the movies show women chasing the men so much. Until that happens in real life, then men will always be bashed for trying. Someone's got to do it or we will all be dating ourselves. Nothing wrong with a guy trying. It's up to your girl how to react.

[marstons]

No not been a problem in 13 years, plenty of younger available ladies in popular area's without guys bothering other non working ladies. Maybe a bit of wishful thinking or the old mind games they like to play whilst your away. keep you on your toe's.

I regularly get asked by nurses, optitions, check out girls etc if I am married, when i answer no always reply is go hock (Lie). In my home country this would never happen either, goes with the turf. But 45 no make up and long dresses deffinatly is not Pattaya.

Why do you think she needed to tell you that when your thousands of miles away having surgery?

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

My ex worked as a nurse's aide, and used to walk to the Skytrain to go to work every morning around 7 am... wearing not a mini-skirt but rather her white hospital uniform.

You wouldn't think, perhaps, 7 am would the prime hunting time for farang guys on the make. But she'd come home from work more than a few times telling me how some farang guy had tried to pick her up on the way to work that morning, or tried to engage her in a conversation about her personal life....

These being guys she didn't know, and hadn't seen before... not quite the same as someone who perhaps lived on the same soi and was traveling to work at the same time on the same street every day.

It does seem to me there are more than a few guys who seem to think that every female here is for sale/rent, perhaps the same as the ones they have the habit of socializing with.

Edited January 15, 2013 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[tinfoilhat]

sorry, dont see the issue in asking a woman if she has a boyfriend.

never try never know.

[Tchooptip]

No not been a problem in 13 years, plenty of younger available ladies in popular area's without guys bothering other non working ladies. Maybe a bit of wishful thinking or the old mind games they like to play whilst your away. keep you on your toe's.

I regularly get asked by nurses, optitions, check out girls etc if I am married, when i answer no always reply is go hock (Lie). In my home country this would never happen either, goes with the turf. But 45 no make up and long dresses deffinatly is not Pattaya.

Why do you think she needed to tell you that when your thousands of miles away having surgery?

Why do you think she needed to tell you that when your thousands of miles away having surgery?

We talk every single day with Skype sometimes 2 hours, she is not kind of introverted person, so she does not "needed" to tell, she just tell her every day little stories .

[Brodie]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

You ask how do I react? So far, I have not reacted at all, but I guess I'll have to do something soon.

Sheesh!

[Mooner]

If you find someone attractive i dont see the problem in asking them if they have a boyfriend. Obviously i would say hello and introduce myself first.The type of guys that annoy me are the ones who maybe are hanging out in two's or three's and you walk in withyour girlfriend and they all stare at her, have a little conversation between themselves and then continue to try and catch her eye!

[HardenedSoul]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

You ask how do I react? So far, I have not reacted at all, but I guess I'll have to do something soon.

Sheesh!

Some guys just regard "No" as a challenge but most of them get the message eventually and move on.

Still, going on what I recall from your thread in the CM forum, I'm sure your Thai GF has more than enough experience to know how to deal with unwanted attention. I'm not saying that she's reluctant to deploy that experience on account of, perhaps, actually being flattered but a fair number of Thai women won't take as much shit off foreign guys as they will off their Thai counterparts.

The only justification for you getting involved would be if he gets physical with her.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.

Edited January 15, 2013 by HardenedSoul

[IrishIvan]

Im far from attractive but I found that women in SE asia hit on me quite a lot. For instance in Singapore where I was working it was a daily occurance for attractive women to come up to me and strike up a conversation. In the Philippines I would be beating them off with a stick. Even when I was walking around with my (then) GF. Local women would come up to me say stuff like, what you do with her?? When I was back packing through Japan it was the same deal, like shooting fish in a barrel, Maybe asian women are a bit more randy and upfront

[manarak]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

I am sorry but I said bluntly , it has nothing to do with complicated but with politeness, if asked tactfully latter on no problem ...of course, but presently they are behaving no better than a buffalo

"asked tactfully later on"

and when is "later on"?

In 99% of cases, there is no later on for chance encounters - personally I think asking for contact details is more indiscrete than asking if someone has a boyfriend.

And I don't understand why asking about a boyfriend is impolite.

Quite the contrary, it gives the lady a chance to stall the discussion right there. If she says that she has no boyfriend, that is an invitation for the guy to offer meeting her later for dinner or a drink, whatever, and to ask for contact details.

What would be your advice to a guy who sees a hot lady at a mall for example?

[Tchooptip]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

You ask how do I react? So far, I have not reacted at all, but I guess I'll have to do something soon.

Sheesh!

Some guys just regard "No" as a challenge but most of them get the message eventually and move on.

Still, going on what I recall from your thread in the CM forum, I'm sure your Thai GF has more than enough experience to know how to deal with unwanted attention. I'm not saying that she's reluctant to deploy that experience on account of, perhaps, actually being flattered but a fair number of Thai women won't take as much shit off foreign guys as they will off their Thai counterparts.

The only justification for you getting involved would be if he gets physical with her.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.every

​I hope everybody understood I did not worry at all, not one second! Me and my wife were not the subject in fact. It was generally speaking. It seems (thought I) some men once they have crossed the Thailand border, see almost every woman female, as a potential hooker. Understandable in some places. I gave an example in a birthday party, the Russian saw she was not alone, however managed to ask if he could see her later on. My education forbid me to behave like that with an other guest to whom I have talked to in a party, it was not a bar but a restaurant not open this very night to the public. Maybe he would have done the same in his home country ? Maybe it's me ? I prefer the old school behaviour but won't change

[MrRealDeal]

I think pretty women in the west are asked if they are single in grocery stores more than you think.

But I guess I would agree after thinking about it for longer than most posts ..... That the type of person Thailand attracts would lend itself to people who are more risk taking in general and probabbly more flirty as well , not so much because they think every girl will date them , but because of the increased risk taking personality and because Thailand attracts people looking for dates !

I might compare it to kids on spring break , the ones who go are a little more adventerous and looking for dates so they act accordingly. They know the proportion of people who might say yes in increased , somewhat similar to here , so they would be inclined to ask more often and perhaps also ask when it's inapropriate more often as well.

I go to the mall all the time and observe behavior and at least here in the outskirts of Bangkok I really don't see western men acting inapropriately flirty at all. I would imagine in Pattaya you would see more.

[Dancealot]

In a way i feel ashamed westerners behave like dogs towards Thai woman.

In the places i venture now i feel glad i do not have to feel ashamed anymore.

[MrRealDeal]

Well my point dance is that it's s function of the place just as much as the men ...... Vacationers in general act differently , vacationers in Vegas different than ones in Apsen.

I guess I would say that it's hard to turn Thailand into the Sex Capitol of Asia , and then complain because the men you attract are looking for dates.

I am saying the blame if your looking for it, is not really on the people coming to get what you made for them, but on yourself for making it.

When I walked down the road in Parpong and was asked frequently if I wanted to see the .... fish in pussy show ...... I wasn't embarrased as much for the men seeing it but for the people putting it on for them.

Edited January 15, 2013 by MrRealDeal

[tingtongtourist]

If no-one was allowed to ever ask a woman if they have a BF then how would the world ever get any population??

The other option would be to not mention anything about BF or GF and just to keep sweet talking..then you would be more angry