Wedding One-liners

[pimmel]

How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Marriage is grand, divorce is about 10 grand.

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Husband to friend: Do you know what it means to me to go home to a really good meal in a clean and tidy home?

Friend: You've gone to the wrong house?

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- I've never forgotten the day I got married - and don't think I haven't tried hard!

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- The only thing my husband and I have in common is we got married on the same day!

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- Our marriage was a love match. plain and simple, she was plain and I was simple!

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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months--I don't like to interrupt her.

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A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life

thinking they had no faults at all.

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Why is marriage is like a violin? After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

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Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

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Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

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Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a woman's finger ... and two under the man's eyes.

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Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

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I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and by then, it was too late.

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Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

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Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

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All marriages are happy - it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

[Jai Dee]

Marriage is grand, divorce is about 10 grand.

I'd argue the point with this one....

Saying "mai mee satang" and crying in my beer...

[chumbles]

Why? How much did it cost you??