Fiancee Wants Salary

[mikemellow]

Going by the OP's original post and the follow up he's paying for dayly living expenses , travel + Some pocket money ( unknown figure ) would love to know that figure ...

Age you and her ?

Location bigger City small village ?

Are you working ?

What was she earning before you met her ?

All factors relevant to what and how her needs for spending $ is

No one in their right mind likes not having some form of independence in the form of $ to spend and some form of $ securety for worst case scenario in the future .. EA you might drop dead get run over by a car or even run of with a younger model Leving her with nothing

But 10k on top of pocket money and all expenced paid sounds to me like profiteering on the basis of being with a for foreigner

Personaly I'd Run leving her now and laugh while doing

[Terry Newman]

An absolute NO. I see twits doing this all the time, they fail all the time.

[somtampet]

I dont know what the complete circumstances are, so will not comment on OP.

My wife needs to work and get her own income to feel good, be confident and feel not just to be a burdon, to have her independance. I dont think there is anything wrong with that.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

very good post,pay your fiance to wash and scrub and to have sex, not in my lifetime.Some thai ladies are what u say mate,some dont know that lol

[mikemellow]

Going by the OP's original post and the follow up he's paying for dayly living expenses , travel + Some pocket money ( unknown figure ) would love to know that figure ...In the last 2 weeks I have put about 10,000 in her purse but she has paid all the small cash things I could not put on my card as well as her own needs.....time to reload her purse any day now

Age you and her ? I am average looking 66 year old she is very good looking 46 year old---no kids no family to support.

Location bigger City small village ? Bangkok area

Are you working ? I am retired...social security from USA

What was she earning before you met her ? I have gotten different answers to that question from 3,000 to 30,000 per month. She works from home sewing ladies hair pieces and dresses. (anyone have an idea what that pays here in BKK?)

All factors relevant to what and how her needs for spending $ is

No one in their right mind likes not having some form of independence in the form of $ to spend and some form of $ securety for worst case scenario in the future .. EA you might drop dead get run over by a car or even run of with a younger model Leving her with nothing----best of those options would seem be the model for me.

But 10k on top of pocket money and all expenced paid sounds to me like profiteering on the basis of being with a for foreigner-----that's what concerns me

Personaly I'd Run leving her now and laugh while doing

[Tanaka]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

Did you meet her in a bar? Do you want/need a maid? If so, pay her a salary but cut her pocket money and let her pay her own expenses. As for an emotional relation, she is a non-starter. Try to find a decent lady, they are around.

[mikemellow]

If she wants 10k a month now, how much is she going to demand after you get married? Infact I would love to know how much the dowry is going to be.

I was in your position 4 years ago, before I got married, and I ended up giving my now ex-wife 5k a month, but only because she gave up her job and had to support her son back in the village. This was on top of me paying all the bills and spending money ect. After getting married, things got worse, and no matter how much I spent, or gave her, it was never enough. She always went on about how her friends were getting more money/gold than her.

this is what concerns me...getting into the same situation you did with your ex .... Mike

[mikemellow]

Once my girlfriend (now my wife) and I established a firm relationship, I would keep her purse in cash, usually around B$10,000. She then paid for virtually everything we did, whether just having diner or drinks, or shopping and travel. I generally carry no more than B$3 to B$4000 on me at any time. She has never given me any reason to doubt her honesty or frugality. Frankly, she is pretty careful with money. She has always put money away for the future, long before she met me. When we are buying something for the household, she sits down and calculates whether we can afford it now, or should wait till later. Now that we are married, I involve her in understanding the investments I have made in stocks and savings, as well as preparing the yearly tax returns we must file. She also has access to accounts with an ATM card and a VISA and AMEX. I want her to understand these in case anythiing happens to me. As to the OP, salary may be an unfortunate choice of words. At least she is thinking about the future. With my wife, we talked long and hard about our future. I believe she thinks of it in the same vein as I do, which is marriage is a partnership. We need to think together as much as possible to make this a success.

Sounds like a great relationship.. Sounds like the type of relationship I was looking for. Mike

[Seizhin]

Once my girlfriend (now my wife) and I established a firm relationship, I would keep her purse in cash, usually around B$10,000. She then paid for virtually everything we did, whether just having diner or drinks, or shopping and travel. I generally carry no more than B$3 to B$4000 on me at any time. She has never given me any reason to doubt her honesty or frugality. Frankly, she is pretty careful with money. She has always put money away for the future, long before she met me. When we are buying something for the household, she sits down and calculates whether we can afford it now, or should wait till later. Now that we are married, I involve her in understanding the investments I have made in stocks and savings, as well as preparing the yearly tax returns we must file. She also has access to accounts with an ATM card and a VISA and AMEX. I want her to understand these in case anythiing happens to me. As to the OP, salary may be an unfortunate choice of words. At least she is thinking about the future. With my wife, we talked long and hard about our future. I believe she thinks of it in the same vein as I do, which is marriage is a partnership. We need to think together as much as possible to make this a success.

Awesome relation. That's something I've been looking for too. You're one lucky man.

[WildChilli]

Going by the OP's original post and the follow up he's paying for dayly living expenses , travel + Some pocket money ( unknown figure ) would love to know that figure ...In the last 2 weeks I have put about 10,000 in her purse but she has paid all the small cash things I could not put on my card as well as her own needs.....time to reload her purse any day now

Age you and her ? I am average looking 66 year old she is very good looking 46 year old---no kids no family to support.

Location bigger City small village ? Bangkok area

Are you working ? I am retired...social security from USA

What was she earning before you met her ? I have gotten different answers to that question from 3,000 to 30,000 per month. She works from home sewing ladies hair pieces and dresses. (anyone have an idea what that pays here in BKK?)

All factors relevant to what and how her needs for spending $ is

No one in their right mind likes not having some form of independence in the form of $ to spend and some form of $ securety for worst case scenario in the future .. EA you might drop dead get run over by a car or even run of with a younger model Leving her with nothing----best of those options would seem be the model for me.

But 10k on top of pocket money and all expenced paid sounds to me like profiteering on the basis of being with a for foreigner-----that's what concerns me

Personaly I'd Run leving her now and laugh while doing

-----------/---------------------/-----------

As I see it Im worried on your behalf too 10 k in 2 weeks

by the sounds of it a top up of wallet to follow soon and she wants 10 k in bank on top of that

How long have the 2 of you been together ?

Living arangement

Rental acomadation , her house , your condo ?

Given your age to some extent I understand her worries for her future

but on the other hand as your paying for the ride as it is

she could easily work part time

( you mentioned she worked from home )

part time would alow her to earn enough to save as a security for her future

while having time for both work and play

( good chance she will live longer than your oven the 20 year diffrence in age )

On the possetive side of things she seams to be willing to work

Her Previous income

3k -30k including any number inbetween could be absolutely corect good month to the worst Month

a income comming from being self employed well even in the western world that can be up and down

What ever you deside let us know the outcome

I do hope it will make for happy ending

Storey

Kindly

Wildchilli

[Jimbo]

I work to live, not live to work. I don't particulary enjoy having to go to work every day however I need to so that I can pay the bills and save up money. I don't see any reason why I would have to let my wife go and work and let her "suffer" also. I make enough money for the 2 of us. My grand mother never worked as she took care of the house and family, same with my mother. I really don't see why some people insist that their wifes must work unless its a money issue.

I don't give my wife a salary however we both have ATM's to our joined bank account. She can take out what she needs and she doesn't need permission to do so. I I would like to point out that she has never abused my trust. She takes care of the mortgage payments, eletricity, phones, internet etc.

I guess it all depends on how much money you have to spend however I really don't have an issue if my wife spends 10k a month on clothes, food or whatever she wants to use it on. But then again, we have been together for 12 years. If I had a new gf - fiancee and they would start making demands right away then I would also have some concerns.

Edited February 7, 2013 by Jimbo

[NeverSure]

Standard Employee contract

Number of shags per week, mandatory termination if quota not met..

Maximum weight before mandatory termination.

Built-in reduction in wage as her assets depreciate.

Your right to use short-term temps in event of her unable to perform duties due to sickness.

One months notice on either side.

If it's a business, she needs a contract!

On the other hand, nagging ........ just dump her or buy yourself an ipod plus earphones.

More seriously

This is the marriage and divorce forum, I really can't see marriage as a way forward for your relationship.

Hahah Tommo.

"This is the marriage and divorce forum, I really can't see marriage as a way forward for your relationship."

But if someone didn't get married, there couldn't be any divorces and this forum would die. I say marry her.

[NeverSure]

Only the very lucky avoided making the mistakes you listed.

Some of us can learn from our mistakes.

Others are doomed to repeat them.

I don't understand some guys. When I married a Western woman, she had her RN and bachelors, and quickly got a master's degree and went into health care management. She was (is) 11 years younger than I, has about another 11 years left to work, and earns well into 6 figures, $US. I didn't get taken for a dime, and all the years we were together that income was super.

I don't get it why guys marry broke gals in LOS either. There are gals with master's degrees or farms or...

Maybe they just need someone to take care of. I don't.

[rct99q]

Again not judging. just saying. Get her a job in a bar or something where she can make a lot more money and will not have to listen to her nagging you all night.

OR, tuck your balls away, give her the money and get another girlfriend you think likes you for who YOU are......

[Lizard0]

Man I drop 1k Baht on pizza sometimes lol... 2k/mo is a joke.

I don't like how little the GF gets paid, for the insane hours she puts in (at nameless bank)

I have no problems taking care of my love's expenses. That's a man's duty, just like they have their sense of duty.

Depending on their family situation. They could be 'responsible' for younger siblings, as the eldest female ends up getting the family inheritance.

If you don't want the antiquated roles, then head back West

The nagging part .... watch out lol. I would not hitch myself to that personally.

Edited February 9, 2013 by Lizard0

[transam]

Man I drop 1k Baht on pizza sometimes lol... 2k/mo is a joke.

I don't like how little the GF gets paid, for the insane hours she puts in (at nameless bank)

I have no problems taking care of my love's expenses. That's a man's duty, just like they have their sense of duty.

Depending on their family situation. They could be 'responsible' for younger siblings, as the eldest female ends up getting the family inheritance.

If you don't want the antiquated roles, then head back West

The nagging part .... watch out lol. I would not hitch myself to that personally.

Ah, a Hi-So farang eh. Drop by my place sometime for a 1k tip for a pizza. I will soon learn how to cook a pizza. Gawd, one born every day.

[Thailand Bound]

Give her the cash but be ready for her asking for a raise once every month.

[rgs2001uk]

Man I drop 1k Baht on pizza sometimes lol... 2k/mo is a joke.

I don't like how little the GF gets paid, for the insane hours she puts in (at nameless bank)

I have no problems taking care of my love's expenses. That's a man's duty, just like they have their sense of duty.

Depending on their family situation. They could be 'responsible' for younger siblings, as the eldest female ends up getting the family inheritance.

If you don't want the antiquated roles, then head back West

The nagging part .... watch out lol. I would not hitch myself to that personally.

the eldest female ends up getting the family inheritance.

Suggest you read up on Thai inheritance law.

Many farang mugs are told its the youngest daughters responsibility, I suppose the closer you get to Cambodia the more the story changes.

I have no problems taking care of my love's expenses.

Excellent, rak duay gan jing jing.

Wait until you get hit up for 1 million sin sot, 50k every month mama money.

Mia farang expenses, pua noi needs a new motor cycle, buffalo sick, well run dry, brother him need ladyboy operation.

Always good to hear from such informed posters.

[Lizard0]

Lol I don't tip 1000, that's all in. Just saying that 2,000 isn't much.

Her family has money, so I won't get ripped by the Sin Sod.

She works and has a degree, it's just she gets paid 10% of what that job is back home at bank.

I know her expenses, and 12k is about how much her gasoline/iphone and food utilities etc costs per month. Its also exactly what her salary is, so part of the 'working poor'

She takes care of her brother's education costs too, so there's more Baht she absorbs. Not any of those silly comments are relevant ,or used by someone of status ... but maybe you haven't met one.

She is the only female, so maybe I have that info wrong about inheritance. All I know for sure is that they handle the finances. Looking things up, apparently they can get denied a land title claim with an alien spouse ... lol

I have never been directly told that inheritance info, just something from searching about Thai culture. Of course the Internet is not always a good source

Edited February 10, 2013 by Lizard0

[scorpio]

mike, how much do u give her every day / week at the minute ? me ? me and wife have joint bank accounts and we dont need to ask eachother if we can have money to buy something......<deleted> its ur wife !!!!

[WildChilli]

mike, how much do u give her every day / week at the minute ? me ? me and wife have joint bank accounts and we dont need to ask eachother if we can have money to buy something......<deleted> its ur wife !!!!

Fiancé not wife yet sugest you read the whole tread and you will find more info

Before atemting to pass judgement

And maby also read the 2 nd thread by op of the spoiled shopping trip

Despite that thread being closed its very relevant to the storey

As it describes a nightmare of a shopping day and what's to come

For OP if he stays with this ( woman )

[rgs2001uk]

Lol I don't tip 1000, that's all in. Just saying that 2,000 isn't much.

Her family has money, so I won't get ripped by the Sin Sod.

She works and has a degree, it's just she gets paid 10% of what that job is back home at bank.

I know her expenses, and 12k is about how much her gasoline/iphone and food utilities etc costs per month. Its also exactly what her salary is, so part of the 'working poor'

She takes care of her brother's education costs too, so there's more Baht she absorbs. Not any of those silly comments are relevant ,or used by someone of status ... but maybe you haven't met one.

She is the only female, so maybe I have that info wrong about inheritance. All I know for sure is that they handle the finances. Looking things up, apparently they can get denied a land title claim with an alien spouse ... lol

I have never been directly told that inheritance info, just something from searching about Thai culture. Of course the Internet is not always a good source

For Thai inheritance law, check here,

http://www.samuiforsale.com/knowledge/inheritance-laws-thailand.html

These cases can turn nasty, family ripping off family is not unheard of.

If your girl is only earning 12k per month she should try Bkk.

With a degree she will start on anywhere from 25-40k per month, how do I know this, from family members and friends working in Bkk.

If the family is so rich, why is the girl taking care of her brothers education costs?

As for not knowing someone of status, have a friend whose family owns 100+ rai of land in Chan, she works to stop herself becoming bored and because she has no interest in farming, not because of financial reasons.

Another friend has an income of 200k per month before he even gets out of bed, money reinvested as part of his retirement plan.

You are correct, dont believe everything you read here, go out and talk to the Thais, take what they say with a pinch of salt.

[candypants]

Two things wrong with a spouse that doesn't have a job:

one thing wrong with a husband who let's his wife work for others instead of taking care of her husband

it's of course a different situation if the wife's income is required to make a reasonably comfortable living.

edit:

when i made a similar statement in Thaivisa (Ladies' Forum) several years ago this was one of the react reactions:

gee, did ya have it blown up and framed?

But the real question is has the op put his wife on the firm yet?

Edited February 11, 2013 by candypants

[cheeryble]

Your right to use short-term temps in event of her unable to perform duties due to sickness.

Right to use temps under any circumstances......

[Lizard0]

If the family is so rich, why is the girl taking care of her brothers education costs?

Thanks for the link. I know 'probate law' can always get ugly, regardless of where you are.

Her family has what they need. 3 houses, few cars and motorbikes, and a papaya farm .. but they don't live like rich folk. Reminds me of well off farmers back in the prairies to be honest.

Not 100% sure why her dad doesn't take much interest in the youngest son, perhaps its because the kid is very lazy and doesn't complete anything lol. She is trying her best to get him on the right path.

Education costs are almost nothing in Thailand anyways. About 5% of what I pay for Univ in Canada.

BTW, she does work in BKK (which is why her cost of living is higher), but the bank pays crap salary and works them 10+ hours a day. There is a 'bonus' paid every quarter I think, directly proportional to how many MB of insurance they sell lol.

They stay for the free education & certification potential there, as they earn their salary still while training.

Still a crap deal, and I'm getting her to focus on language studies instead so she can work internationally. Think she can earn 5yrs salary in 6 months back home lol.

Edited February 11, 2013 by Lizard0

[scorpio]

mike, how much do u give her every day / week at the minute ? me ? me and wife have joint bank accounts and we dont need to ask eachother if we can have money to buy something......<deleted> its ur wife !!!!

Fiancé not wife yet sugest you read the whole tread and you will find more info

Before atemting to pass judgement

And maby also read the 2 nd thread by op of the spoiled shopping trip

Despite that thread being closed its very relevant to the storey

As it describes a nightmare of a shopping day and what's to come

For OP if he stays with this ( woman )

yea...ok , i think by reading his latest post this biatch is testing him to the limits......i would dump her and move on. it would help if he told us what age he and she were and how long they have been together.

[ice1318]

I know it's an uncomfortable practice for some, but has any one actually done the math on this.

Apologies in advance if I've missed certain details as I 've only read the thread quickly.

I'm assuming the OP is 66, the thai GF 46 and her request is for 10,000 THB a month.

(1) Assume she outlives her other half by 20 years and

(2) Assume by time this occurs when she is in her 50s/60s

and therefore is realisticallyno longer able to work and

(3) Assume she requires 5,000 USD a year.

Hey, she needs 100,000 USD. Not overnight but over an extremely lenghty period.

100,000 X 30 = 3,000,000 THB

10,000 THB x 300 months = 3,000,000 TB

300 months = 25 years.

Well, what do you know ! She'd only have to wait until the OP attains the sprightly age of 91.

No wonder she wants to get this into motion asap.

To take the OP out of this equation and sustitute a hypothetical couple who are in an already

long established relationship and the couple are intent on a future life together personally I'm

all for the hypothetical woman. Don't think it's unreasonable at all.

PS Even if my assumed facts are wrong just look at the illustration to get a good idea of financially

what's required in this type of scenario.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

So you're assuming the guy involved will die dead broke and leave nothing in the way of an estate (or life insurance proceeds) to his wife???

And likewise that he won't set aside any money for her or buy her things of value such as gold during their life together -- apart from the notion of a monthly salary...

[CWMcMurray]

So it seems that she had a job.... You asked her to quit her job and so now she had no pocket money

She is not threatening to leave you, she is threatening you to go bak to work if you do not give her any pocket money

Seems pretty reasonable on her part...

If you ask you finance / wife to quit there job and stay at home full time, you better be willing to pay the bills and give her some pocket money

This not just in Thailand but in any house wife in any western country would expect the same

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[CWMcMurray]

Just read your other topic about your recent trip to the mall...

Take my earlier post back... It seems the warnings signs are all there

Was she like this when you were dating or did she just completely change overnight once you got engaged?

Or did she change after you asked her to quit her job?

Would probably tell her you can afford to take care of both of you at a certain level, but if she wants to buy all of these 'toys' or increase savings, it may not be a bad idea for her to start working again

Then see how she reacts... And that should let you know how to proceed.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[ice1318]

Reference post 118

Yeah pretty much.

Not that I want to get involved judging the OP. I could be totally wrong. But it would seem pretty

strange that if these assets exist and if the OP has the intention to pass a sizeable share onto

Thai GF that he hasn't to date mentioned this.

I mean the whole thread is centered on whether GF is being reasonable or not. Surely in the

early part of this thread he'd have qualified himself by saying words to the effect

"she's asking for x..........despite the fact I'm going to ensure she is long-term secure by way of......"

Maybe I missed something. Maybe the OP can clarify. If he takes the view that this has gotten a little

out of hand, that it's his own business I'd respect that too.