Do Thai-Farang Marriages Survive The Menopause

[MAJIC]

My friend has a Thai wife who is going through the Menopause,Screaming, demanding, fits of temper,shrieking,showing him up in company,being totally unreasonable,accusing him of alsorts,threatening him,etc. He tells me about her problem,and all I can do is sympathise with him.Fact is I don't have the heart to tell him,that's the way she has always been!

[SunSeek01]

Oh Guys! I am probably going to marry my 43 yo TGF this year! If she goes bonkers I don't think I can take it. I'm 54. We've spent a lot of time together, 8 months living in her room once not long ago (a nice room as far as rooms go) and we only had about 2 or 3 big fights so not too bad. She, and most women if you ask me, get angry about silly things but that's the way of the woman!

I was thinking on this topic even before I read this. I'll just have to take the chance, younger gals are OK with me for fun but I like my GF at her age so I hope she does not change too much!

[Sheryl]

At 43 most Thai women are already in the peri-menopause so if she's OK now that is a good sign. It is worth noting that women vary greatly in how much difficulty they have in the peri-menopause and menopause. Some women sail serenely through both with very few symptoms.

If she doesn't know suffer from bad mood swings/fits of rage in the days prior to her period now then she'll probably be OK until actual menopause. She may be fine then too, but of she does at that point suffer hot flashes, vaginal dryness, mood issues then you know what to do -- get her to a doctor for treatment.

I am sure there are tons of information out there, in Thai, on the menopause but as I do not read Thai well I can't locate it for you. Samitivej and Bumrungrad websites would likely have something.

There is a Thai herb which is supposed to help with menopausal symptoms. I can't verify that claim but may not hurt to try:

Pueraria mirifica (Kwao Krua Kao)

Its efficacy is for menopausal symptoms, not the PMDD which many women experience prior to menopause. Important to distinguish between these things.

[Neeranam]

What age does the average Thai woman start peri menopause?

My wife is 35.

[stoneyboy]

What age does the average Thai woman start peri menopause?My wife is 35.

Mines 40 and 6 months pregnant so I guess we're doing ok.

[transam]

What age does the average Thai woman start peri menopause?My wife is 35.

Mines 40 and 6 months pregnant so I guess we're doing ok.

Wait for the flack.

[NancyL]

Once I overheard Hubby talking about this subject with some male friends. He said "menopause was a lot easier than I thought it would be". (hah, as if he was the one going thru it and furthermore he no longer had to endure monthly mood swings.

My major symptom was hot flashes, for about six months. Fortunately, it was during the winter in the northern U.S. and Hubby got used to me stepping out onto the porch at random times that winter.

No, I'm not Thai, but I think the issues are similar.

[Huayrat]

My wife is 21 so ill probably be dead before she reaches that.. Lucky me

[TommoPhysicist]

I knew a girl who had her menopause at age 18 ..... poor thing.

[borisloosebrain]

http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/menopause.html

[davejones]

Are you guys actually serious about tossing a woman to the curb because of a natural change in life termed menopause? Nice. Real classy.

If the woman was stricken with cancer, would you make a run for the door too? Whatever, happened to marrying someone and staying with them in sickness or in health? And yet some of the lotharios laughing at abandoning a woman in menopause would expect that same woman to care for every need and whim if the man was ill. Lovely double standard.

How would you feel if that was your mother abandoned? Is it any wonder that some kids grow up hating their western fathers and why some males are unable to understand the concept of family etc.?

Ok, maybe some of you guys think it's funny, but it isn't. This topic speaks volumes about how creepy and awful some men are. I pity the children burdened with such a father and can understand why the children distance themselves from such a person. On the other hand, I know no one that would sever a relationship because of menopause and for that I give thanks. I look at some of the older foreign couples I see, and despite the usual strains of a long term relationship, I can see that they are happy. It seems that happiness will never come to those that think of women as disposable possessions.

Well said. But most replies are what you'd expect from TV posters though.

[Pacificperson]

I couldn't tell the menopausal moods swings from the normal mood swings, so I guess that menopause wasn't so bad for me. Its over now, but the mood swings are still around.

[virtualtraveller]

The topic was about dealing with Thai wives in menopause, man I wish they would moderate all this troll junk properly! I can say, from mine and several other's anecdotal experiences, once the kids come along the wife generally loses interest in sex and intimacy. Not sure if that's typical wife, typical Thai wife, or me, but fortunately this is Thailand and there are some discreet solutions. She's a good wife and mother my misses, but needs a good few whiskies before she gets frisky.

[realenglish1]

I went through this. My Thai wife of 11
years was going thought this and it ended in divorce.

I can take being yelled at. I can take
being the bad guy in her eyes sometimes. But I cannot take a
relationship without sex.

She was 45 and going through menopause
and was totally not interested in Sex to a point where there was no
sex in our relationship.

So I divorced her. I dont care how old
someone is at least for me but we need sex and if your wife is not
going to give it to you then what the hell is marriage for Playing
checkers.

So although I made mistakes in the
marriage she got a divorce.

Now I know why then call it Menopause.

Its because we as MEN half to PAUSE
for a long time LOL

You get the idea !

[Sheryl]

It is quite likely that sex was actuallu painful for her, or at least very uncomfortable. As per my prior posts, this happens in menopause and is easily treated, but many Thai women are unaware of this and too shy to ask a pharmacist.

[TommoPhysicist]

I didn't have a problem with the 'no sex', which is a fairly common symptom.

I did have a problem with her locking herself in a room for days on end.

I did have problems with her rage, violence and screaming along with all sorts of accusations.

I did have problems when I caught her shaking our 4 year old boy until he had almost passed out.

The information you are giving us is great Sheryl ....... but,

you can't force someone to seek or take treatment if they flat out refuse.

And refusal to acknowledge there is a problem coupled with the extreme anger and aggression make this impossible to deal with in some cases.

[Greer]

I didn't have a problem with the 'no sex', which is a fairly common symptom.

I did have a problem with her locking herself in a room for days on end.

I did have problems with her rage, violence and screaming along with all sorts of accusations.

I did have problems when I caught her shaking our 4 year old boy until he had almost passed out.

The information you are giving us is great Sheryl ....... but,

you can't force someone to seek or take treatment if they flat out refuse.

And refusal to acknowledge there is a problem coupled with the extreme anger and aggression make this impossible to deal with in some cases.

The lack of sex, the mood swings and all would be one thing, but attacking a 4 year old like that is not acceptable at all. A child has the right to safety and security.

I understand your decision.

[JDGRUEN]

This thread is a touchy subject and some have become offended. Some posters have been a bit flippant - but that is TV. But all in all there has been a lot of good information which could very well help some couples get through a life straining ordeal. For those who have been offended - please take note... it is totally one thing to be a woman who is on the inside looking out at this medical problem - it certainly colors one's perspective. But if you have never been on the receiving end of such menopause related behavior - often totally upredictible and extreme to the point of being surreal at times - then you just cannot judge how some men feel. In the U.S. we hear and read a lot about wife or girlfriend abuse and it is certainly real. But continued menopausal induced rages are also abuse - plain and simple - and no lesser abuse than that the wife/girlfriend abuse you may witness, read or hear about.

[transam]

I didn't have a problem with the 'no sex', which is a fairly common symptom.

I did have a problem with her locking herself in a room for days on end.

I did have problems with her rage, violence and screaming along with all sorts of accusations.

I did have problems when I caught her shaking our 4 year old boy until he had almost passed out.

The information you are giving us is great Sheryl ....... but,

you can't force someone to seek or take treatment if they flat out refuse.

And refusal to acknowledge there is a problem coupled with the extreme anger and aggression make this impossible to deal with in some cases.

Your second paragraph. Absolutely right. My ex turned into a stranger, l could do nothing about it, l even wrote to my wifes Consultant in confidence, he wrote back that he understands but cannot discuss it with me , patient confidentiality.

[bangkokburning]

Deleted

Sigh...

[brucestrachan]

My wife of 17 years at 54 is undergoing what appears to me to be just these sorts of symptoms, and has been for the past ~10 years. She will not discuss the matter, but went,on her own, to the shrink at the hospital, who immediately put her on Prozac. She doesn't go and consult with the doc at all, buying her Prozac at the pharmacy across the street. A couple years ago i forced her to go to the hospital with me to see the doc who told me it's just menopause, though she's still experiences menses regular as clockwork She (the doc) focused on my lack of sexual activity as if that was all that interested me and ignored my lack of intimacy, the wild mood shifts, etcetera. The result is that I now still have a wife who won't sleep, eat, walk or talk with me. My apparent purpose for her now is to just pay the bills and buy the food Every once in a while she alludes to her still loving me, but I'm beginning to wonder. I recently took a trip to Cambodia, she declined to come along, and now i'm considering moving. At 66 I'm really not interested in starting all over again, as I would have to find a job again and do a bunch of crying as i did when i lost my 1st wife to cancer.

I try to keep my spirits up by recalling that this is just another marvelous opportunity for a challenge but then I recall that change is often for the better. I wish I could afford a mia noi, but paying for love by the hour really isn't all that appealing. If I just walk away as a Thai man would, what's the chance she could find me, and would she even bother to look?

[Rupert2]

My Burrirum Wife of 12 years is the most Cup Half Empty person I've ever known.

I tell her that it's a good thing for ME that I grew up a bit sideways too. When she threatens me with a knife - bottle - I say bring it on. She is a fighter and grew up poor. School of thai Soap opra.

I / we do have 2 wonderful kids. I don't hate anyone - but she sure as hell hates me.

She has hurt me so many times I can't count. She goes for my balls - but I'm wise to that.

I had 3 stiches just a few months ago from a bowl thrown at me.

I'm OK though. I can usually hold her off when shit goes crazy. Totally dramatic shit - for no reason.

To me it seems like a Thai Soap - and I don't love someone who wishes I was dead etc..

Still - I have few regrets.

I didn't have a problem with the 'no sex', which is a fairly common symptom.

I did have a problem with her locking herself in a room for days on end.

I did have problems with her rage, violence and screaming along with all sorts of accusations.

I did have problems when I caught her shaking our 4 year old boy until he had almost passed out.

The information you are giving us is great Sheryl ....... but,

you can't force someone to seek or take treatment if they flat out refuse.

And refusal to acknowledge there is a problem coupled with the extreme anger and aggression make this impossible to deal with in some cases.

The lack of sex, the mood swings and all would be one thing, but attacking a 4 year old like that is not acceptable at all. A child has the right to safety and security.

I understand your decision.