Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya

[detinu68]

I'm 50 years old, and working as an ICT and History teacher at an international school in Pattaya.

I met my "partner" 2 years ago in a bar in Soi 7, Pattaya, just off Beach Rd. She's 33 years old.

She was a bar girl then and still is. The difference is that back then I was on holiday, but we stayed in touch. Now I live with her. I love her, absolutely no question about it. I know what she does when she goes to work, no problem. I was just one of her many customers.

I don't earn much, 35k Baht a month. She earns about the same...plus occasional Western Union remittances from her other "boyfriends". We share the money we earn and certainly by Thai standards have a very good lifestyle. She works about 20 evenings a month in a bar on Beach Road.

I'm not the jealous type and we're very happy together.

The problem is, I can share this reality here, anonymously, but I would never tell my family the truth back home in England. They would never understand. I send them photos of us together by Instagram and email and tell them she works for Pattaya City Council.

I'm not seeking approval...but there must be others like me out there in the same position?

Edited April 12, 2013 by detinu68

[metisdead]

Seems since you are in Pattaya, this is related to Pattaya forum, moving topic there.

[USNret]

lol, Pattaya City Council. Great cover story! Safe to assume she will never meet your family.

I once heard that the definition of a yacht is any boat you own that the person you're talking to is never likely to see. I dunno, it just popped into my head. Anyway, I'm glad you are happy together as long as you are realistic about your future prospects.

[Deserted]

I think there are lots of people in the same boat. Don't wish to burst your bubble but I've never seen it work long-term. I've seen people stay together long-term but that were clearly unhappy. If it works for you then that's great but as mentioned I've never met anyone who's had a healthy relationship with a bar-girl survive over the years. I just assumed it wasn't possible.

[detinu68]

Thanks for your replies.

She's stunning and I'm 17 years her senior.

I'm realistic about it. If she's prepared to wait 15 years she can live with me off my pension money, no worries.

If not, then there's a good chance I'll find another one in the meantime.

Edited April 12, 2013 by detinu68

[arthurwait]

lol, Pattaya City Council. Great cover story! Safe to assume she will never meet your family.

I once heard that the definition of a yacht is any boat you own that the person you're talking to is never likely to see. I dunno, it just popped into my head. Anyway, I'm glad you are happy together as long as you are realistic about your future prospects.

Makes a change from she works in a bank.

[Beetlejuice]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom if and when having sexual intercourse with prostitutes and even this method is not 100% guaranteed safe.

And this is the main reason why I would not want to be in a relationship with a working girl.

I am absolutely by no means being derogatory towards these particular group of woman, it`s only common sense and a fact that by sleeping with a person, male or female who has multiple sexual partners, you are placing yourself at considerable risk.

For those in the same situation as yourself, I would certainly insist that your partners go for regular medical health and HIV tests. Your life may depend on it.

Edited April 12, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[chickenslegs]

Thanks for your replies.

She's stunning and I'm 17 years her junior.

I'm realistic about it. If she's prepared to wait 15 years she can live with me off my pension money, no worries.

If not, then there's a good chance I'll find another one in the meantime.

You are 50, she is 67? Better marry her before someone else snaps her up.

[detinu68]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom if and when having sexual intercourse with prostitutes and even this method is not 100% guaranteed safe.

And this is the main reason why I would not want to be in a relationship with a working girl.

I am absolutely by no means being derogatory towards these particular group of woman, it`s only common sense and a fact that by sleeping with a person, male or female who has multiple sexual partners, you are placing yourself at considerable risk.

For those in the same situation as yourself, I would certainly insist that your partners go for regular medical health and HIV tests. Your life may depend on it.

You're right.

I got oral herpes years ago, in England...it flares up maybe every 2-3 years, just a blister on my lip. Nothing I can do about it now.

But I practice safe sex. ALWAYS with a condom

[detinu68]

Thanks for your replies.

She's stunning and I'm 17 years her junior.

I'm realistic about it. If she's prepared to wait 15 years she can live with me off my pension money, no worries.

If not, then there's a good chance I'll find another one in the meantime.

You are 50, she is 67? Better marry her before someone else snaps her up.

Well spotted. 17 years my junior...sorry :-) have updated my post

[fotog]

Well she doesn't stay with you for the money, so that is a plus. I know all the stories / reasons for not getting involved with a bar girl and for the most part it is good advice. One concern I would have is she is in a prime environment to meet other men who may offer her a deal she can't refuse; however as long as she stays with you; that says she might, just might be the one in a million that is different.

Where I come from in farang land the woman I met / knew were not bar girls at all but they were gold diggers just the same, never satisfied and always looking for something more and more and MORE. The last I heard the traditional marriages to 'good' girls are not working out too well either with divorces, separations, cheating wives and children being turned against the father in many cases. So if you are happy for the moment; and that is all you can ask because nothing lasts forever and there are no guarantees in life; then good on you. Enjoy it for as long as you possibly can.

[HeavyDrinker]

Fair play to you lad!!!!

Enjoy it!

[Ohyesuare]

I am in a similar position as you except I am in my late 20's and she is in her early 20's. I don't see anything wrong with it if she is doing it of her own free will. I have my freedom to do what I want and she has hers.

I figure we are at least above many Thai men in Pattaya who take all their working "girlfriends" money to buy whiskey and drugs. Or foreigners who support their girlfriends who are still freelancing or cheating on them anyway.

[Potosi]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom...

Condoms of course don't offer protection against oral herpes, TB, or even a common cold. To achieve better protection you should not only wear a condom during intercourse, but also a face mask.

[pattayadingo]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom if and when having sexual intercourse with prostitutes and even this method is not 100% guaranteed safe.

And this is the main reason why I would not want to be in a relationship with a working girl.

I am absolutely by no means being derogatory towards these particular group of woman, it`s only common sense and a fact that by sleeping with a person, male or female who has multiple sexual partners, you are placing yourself at considerable risk.

For those in the same situation as yourself, I would certainly insist that your partners go for regular medical health and HIV tests. Your life may depend on it.

I hope he does not practice oral sex on her.

Personally, I'd not put my mouth anywhere near her vaginal area.

[Pattaya28]

Thanks for your replies.

She's stunning and I'm 17 years her junior.

I'm realistic about it. If she's prepared to wait 15 years she can live with me off my pension money, no worries.

If not, then there's a good chance I'll find another one in the meantime.

You are 50, she is 67? Better marry her before someone else snaps her up.

Well I hope she enjoys your pension at 82

[marstons]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom...

Condoms of course don't offer protection against oral herpes, TB, or even a common cold. To achieve better protection you should not only wear a condom during intercourse, but also a face mask.

I would be wearing condoms with the emphasis on the plural. great quote not the jealous type and the other half is getting laid 20+ times per month with anybody and everybody with a grand, that has to be an understatement. your either having a laugh posting this or need to grab hold of some self respect

[PoodMaiDai]

Whatever makes you happy mate. You have one life, live it however you want to so long as you're not hurting anyone else. Best of luck to the two of you.

[wooloomooloo]

That was my point. Thirty-three years old one minute and forty-eight the next.

[krisb]

Pattaya city council:lol

Since we are now part of your story, what exactly does she do at the council? You know just incase your family ever ask us we need to get the facts straight now.

[ThaidDown]

Pattaya city council:lol

Since we are now part of your story, what exactly does she do at the council? You know just incase your family ever ask us we need to get the facts straight now.

'Customer Relations' would sound appropriate.

[BookMan]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom if and when having sexual intercourse with prostitutes and even this method is not 100% guaranteed safe.

And this is the main reason why I would not want to be in a relationship with a working girl.

I am absolutely by no means being derogatory towards these particular group of woman, it`s only common sense and a fact that by sleeping with a person, male or female who has multiple sexual partners, you are placing yourself at considerable risk.

For those in the same situation as yourself, I would certainly insist that your partners go for regular medical health and HIV tests. Your life may depend on it.

Of course you are right. How many of the guys who frequent BGs like to boast of not wearing protection?

The guy himself might already have an STD, prior to meeting his now GF, as I assume he frequented BG establishments prior to meeting his now GF.

[tolsti]

Pattaya city council:lol

Since we are now part of your story, what exactly does she do at the council? You know just incase your family ever ask us we need to get the facts straight now.

'Customer Relations' would sound appropriate.

Mattress tester and part time hotel room inspector.

[fredob43]

If it work's for you go for it big time. At least you know were you stand unlike most of the sucker's that think they have won the lotto with their ladies. There in lie's 1 mil: stories

Only one problem that I can see is when the money sending chappy(s) come's over to see her she will have to go on the missing list for the duration. But just think of the enjoyment you'll have once you have sold their lastest offering's of gold.

Best of luck.

Edited April 13, 2013 by fredob43

[CharlieH]

And what happens when you go out together somewhere, maybe for a meal, and one guy smiles and says hello, then another, then another starts a conversation, and all the time you know or must be thinking they have all slept with her, bet that,s a real comforting experience.

Those kind of girls are like monkeys, keep a good grip on one branch, until they get a firm grip on the next.

In my opinion you are deluding yourself, when something better comes along she,ll be gone, and just like cars we have all had rentals at some point, but no one would buy one cos they have been abused and the mileage is too high.

How are you gonna feel if she comes home hardly able to walk, because a punter or group of lads was drunk and went too far.

Besides all that, where is your self respect ?

Edited April 13, 2013 by CharlieH

[krisb]

Pattaya city council:lol

Since we are now part of your story, what exactly does she do at the council? You know just incase your family ever ask us we need to get the facts straight now.

'Customer Relations' would sound appropriate.

Yeah well filling holes with loads from their dump trucks usually men's work.

[Ohio]

Does sharing her income from the Farang sending it make you a PIMP ??

I don't judge I'm just curious where the lines are drawn

[angiud]

Few more replies deleted. Hot issue, be polite and avoid trolling

[chris2004]

I have a live in thai girlfriend who was an EX bar girl. I could never have a relationship with one who still worked. You must be a special person if you don't mind what she does every day. If she was serious about you surely she could get a "normal" job even if it meant less money.

[villagefarang]

During my single years in Thailand I found myself in this situation on many occasions. It can be a great learning experience as one deals with the issues that come up. You will definitely learn a lot about yourself and others.

I would hope, if she finds someone willing to give her more of a future, you would not stand in her way. In my opinion it is best not to be too clingy in these kinds of relationships and when the time comes, wish her the best and move on.