I'm Still Just The Falang

[kjelljit]

I'm still just the Falang

How do I interpret that my girlfriend and her family mentions me as the falang when they're talking about me?

We have been living together for 5 years now and we live just a few blocks away from the rest of the family.

It's difficult to get close with them because they do not speak English and I not Thai.

At least they should have learned my name by now even though we do not directly talk to each other?

Think it's a bit disrespectful, it would be like if I were to mention my girlfriend as the asian when I talk about her with my friends and family.

What do you think about this?

My girlfriend is saying that they can't learn my name.

By the way, my name is Henry.

[uptheos]

Henly can be a ploblem.

Edited April 22, 2013 by uptheos

[Jingthing]

Do you mean they can't pronounce your name?

That sounds like BS.

But you could try a test.

Adopt a Thai name like so many immigrants in America do by adopting an Americanized name.

Then announce that is your name in Thailand.

THEN see if they still call you f-rang.

Dollars to donuts, they still will.

Sorry about that!

Edited April 22, 2013 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

Henly can be a ploblem.

They could say that then. Better than f-rang after 5 years!

[Banzai99]

It's not so bad Henry, I'm called the <deleted>.

[HeavyDrinker]

I just get grunted at....

[Jingthing]

I would do this. I would tell your GF that it is important to you that at least while you can hear that both she and her family should refer to you by name. If she doesn't do this for you, well, some people in your shoes would kick her to the curb.

[HeavyDrinker]

Take them all on holiday to Cambodia/Malaysia/Singapore and then start pointing at them and calling them 'foreigners'.....freaks em out to buggery that one does....

[Morakot]

Henly, try a few words of Thai to make the effort. You be a star in no time.

[Jingthing]

Henly, try a few words of Thai to make the effort. You be a star in no time.

Not a bad idea. I would say: My name is Henly ... A LOT. Rub it in.

BTW, there really is no doubt, they really ARE dissing you big time by calling you f-rang after all these years.

Edited April 22, 2013 by Jingthing

[transam]

It's not so bad Henry, I'm called the <deleted>.

Who's grassing me up.......................................

[Soutpeel]

How do I interpret that my girlfriend and her family mentions me as the falang when they're talking about me?

You have answered your own question in the OP....they are being rude and disrespectful....very obvious what they think of you..

But waiting in anticpation for the apologists to jump in and saying you have to be at one with your Thainess and embrace the culture

[Tywais]

Just refer to everyone as khon Thai.

[HeavyDrinker]

You have to be at one with your Thainess and embrace the culture.

[Morakot]

Just refer to everyone as khon Thai.

That might cause some confusion in the long run.

[Soutpeel]

BTW, there really is no doubt, they really ARE dissing you big time by calling you f-rang after all these years.

But jing, the resident TV experts keep telling us the use of the word "farang" is not degrogatory..

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Change your name to Frank.

Then it won't require any change on their part.

[MrHammer]

And so it goes, round and round again.

[doji]

Henry is not that difficult for most thais to say, …….”hen-lee” (trust me)
May be they just don’t like you for some reason….or May be they don’t like their daughter living/sleeping with you, without getting married by now…ects

But the fact that they don’t want to call by your first name after 5 yrs…it is a sign of disrespect. In addition to your GF’s excuse of them not being able to pronounce it, I think it’s just nonsense really.
The real root issue here between YOU and them…is much deeper than their inability to say “hen-lee”, I’m pretty sure. if you’re being honest to yourself and start thinking back all these past 5 yrs of all the interactions between you and them, I’m pretty sure there must be a clue or two somewhere, as for the probable cause of their disgruntle.

Edited April 22, 2013 by doji

[Morakot]

How do I interpret that my girlfriend and her family mentions me as the falang when they're talking about me?

I think there might be a slight problem if your g/f refers to you as falang. I think for a matter of common courtesy, you should insist that she refers to you as P'Farang.

[NeverSure]

Change your name to Frank.

Then it won't require any change on their part.

I think that would be Flank

[Soutpeel]

Henry is not that difficult for most thais to say, …….”hen-lee” (trust me)

May be they just don’t like you for some reason….or May be they don’t like their daughter living/sleeping with you, without getting married by now…ects

But the fact that they don’t want to call by your first name after 5 yrs…it is a sign of disrespect. In addition to your GF’s excuse of them not being able to pronounce it, I think it’s just nonsense really.

The real root issue here between YOU and them…is much deeper than their inability to say “hen-lee”, I’m pretty sure. if you’re being honest to yourself and start thinking back all these past 5 yrs of all the interactions between you and them, I’m pretty sure there must be a clue or two somewhere, as for the probable cause of their disgruntle.

Easy test, OP pull your wallet out and flash some cash as see how quick they can say your name properly...

[mr3cho]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

[yourauntbob]

It is disrespectful, and you should say something to your g/f.

After 5 years you dont speak any Thai? I have been here about the same amount of time and can at least hold a basic conversation. Try learning the language, if for nothing else but personal growth. If I was back in the USA and had a daughter with a foreign boyfriend who didnt even attempt to speak English I may lose some respect for him as well.

[BookMan]

It's not so bad Henry, I'm called the <deleted>.

From your postings , deservedly so some might say

[PoorSucker]

Bring a guava fruit and give it to them every time they say falang.

[Jingthing]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

I don't really agree with that. I knew plenty of foreigners in the USA who couldn't really speak English. I had no problem calling a guy called Jose "Jose" and not "the Mexican" ... the moment he would tell me his name is Jose, in Spanish, no problem.

Edited April 22, 2013 by Jingthing

[Berkshire]

Maybe the only time they bring up "farang" is when they're saying "Why can't that idiot farang learn to speak even some modicum of Thai after being in Thailand for 5+ freakin years??"

[mr3cho]

It is disrespectful, and you should say something to your g/f.

After 5 years you dont speak any Thai? I have been here about the same amount of time and can at least hold a basic conversation. Try learning the language, if for nothing else but personal growth. If I was back in the USA and had a daughter with a foreign boyfriend who didnt even attempt to speak English I may lose some respect for him as well.

Very good example and fully agree.

[yourauntbob]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

Jinx