Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[Neeranam]

Last night I met a 60 year old guy who was visiting Thailand for 3 months. We had a drink together and started talking about my being married. I told him I had been married for 12 years and he was totally shocked saying wow it lasted that long. He then asked if she had ever worked as a bar prostitute! I mean <deleted>, how ignorant and rude can you get. Got me thinking how many tourists think like this. I'll add that I'm not in Pattaya, where I could understand such an assumption.

[Morakot]

Never meet anyone in Thailand or abroad who made such an assumption. To be honest never heard about (Thai) "bar girls" or what not, until I found this forum.

Edited May 2, 2013 by Morakot

[Dancealot]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

[Neeranam]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Edited May 2, 2013 by metisdead
Profanity

[Dancealot]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Good on you!

And good follow up question: How would you respond if a farang you do not know, out of the blue suggests your wife was an ex pro?

[krisb]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible <deleted> the guy was.

How would others respond?

I would have punched him in the face.

[mancub]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

[Kitsune]

One minute ago I read a post assuming that all expats were males.

How rude !

[Neeranam]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

I would have punched him in the face.

I think that is over-reacting. If my wife was there, then I probably would.

[maprao]

While many were never BGs or Pros. Unfortunately 95% were pro ams! especially if they went to University

Also if your non BG wife ( Not the Op's) speaks 3 European languages it is highly unlikely she learnt them in school.

(Citation if required a couple of decades personal experience in Asia; Thailand, PI, Indonesia).

Edited May 2, 2013 by maprao

[Neeranam]

One minute ago I read a post assuming that all expats were males.

How rude !

I hope you were true to yourself and made an exit.

[mancub]

The trouble is that guys like the 60yr old mentioned by the OP are exactly the type that give the wrong impression and create the stereotype. I've only been married 4 years myself and the best way to deal with these ignorants is to speak Thai and piss on their parade .!

[DLock]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

I would have punched him in the face.

Without a doubt that's what I would have done.

Neeranam, but I think his comment says more about him than anything.

It's sad that many guys never venture much farther than the bar areas, so their limited views on Thailand and it's women has not evolved beyond the women they encounter and sometimes marry.

[kurnell]

Perhaps not so much today, but 20 years ago hookers were the wife of choice

[willyumiii]

Tourist are myopic.

When they come to find bargirls and prostitutes, they see all Thai women as being BGs and pros!

Should we all assume they all have fat, disgusting, greedy, piggish wives waiting for them to return home after their sex-tourist vacation in LOS?

[ragamuffin]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

[brewsterbudgen]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long
as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an
unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

[Soutpeel]

But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

Unlike the TV resident expats who are upstanding, politically correct, non-racist, non-judgmental, non-self righteous individuals ?...

[maxme]

I´m sorry but this is common behavior of many European tourists visiting Thailand. Their unwillingness and ignorance in learning facts about the country's people and culture is what we refer to as being "uneducated".

[Morakot]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Edited May 2, 2013 by Morakot

[KarenBravo]

In the UK, if you mention that your wife is Thai, it will be presumed she was a prostitute, or a mail-order bride and that you are a whore-monger, or a loser.

Thailand has a bad reputation in the rest of the world and is renowned for it's sex industry.

Ignorant......but that's the way it is.

You can see it on here on Thaivisa. When anyone refers to their wife, the comment is qualified by her job, or education. Nowhere else does this happen.

Edited May 2, 2013 by KarenBravo

[machans88]

i would think a very high percentage of tourists or even people who haven't been to thailand,would make the assumption that all thai/western couples are either exbargirls or "mail order brides",this is re-enforced to them when they see older guys with much younger asian wives or westerners who have asian wives much more attractive to them.

Before thailand was the flavour of the month it was filipino wives.

It certainly seems to be that way in australia anyway.

[Soutpeel]

Tourist are myopic.

When they come to find bargirls and prostitutes, they see all Thai women as being BGs and pros!

Should we all assume they all have fat, disgusting, greedy, piggish wives waiting for them to return home after their sex-tourist vacation in LOS?

so tell us again why you came to Thailand in the first place.?..yeah yeah I am know it was the temples and beaches

[somtampet]

HOW IGNORANT AND RUDE U ARE TOO.

You have assumed everybody that has a thai gf/wife who they met in Pattaya are bargirl prostitutes,how rude and ignorant u are

[Neeranam]

i would think a very high percentage of tourists or even people who haven't been to thailand,would make the assumption that all thai/western couples are either exbargirls or "mail order brides",this is re-enforced to them when they see older guys with much younger asian wives or westerners who have asian wives much more attractive to them.

Before thailand was the flavour of the month it was filipino wives.

It certainly seems to be that way in australia anyway.

So the Ozzies took all the Filipinos . When I went to Fillipines, I thought the women were generally more attractive than Thais.

[Ulysses G.]

I don't think that all expats are married to former BGs, but I do think that quite a few are and don't know it.

[Soutpeel]

HOW IGNORANT AND RUDE U ARE TOO.

You have assumed everybody that has a thai gf/wife who they met in Pattaya are bargirl prostitutes,how rude and ignorant u are

and if a Statisitical survey was done you would most likley find that assumption is correct within 1 standard deviation

BTW not all working girls come out of bars, some actually work respectable jobs and earn a few bucks on the side...

[KarenBravo]

Are TV posters that dim to think thats its only the uneducated ones who turn tricks/work in bars ? and here we have TV finest accusing tourists of being ignorant and prejudiced

Unfortunately, I think they are.

It's amazing how many times I run across people that think ALL ex-bar-girls will eventually rip you off and that "respectable" girls won't.

I just smile and change the subject.

Edited May 2, 2013 by KarenBravo

[somtampet]

HOW IGNORANT AND RUDE U ARE TOO.

You have assumed everybody that has a thai gf/wife who they met in Pattaya are bargirl prostitutes,how rude and ignorant u are

and if a Statisitical survey was done you would most likley find that assumption is correct within 1 standard deviation

BTW not all working girls come out of bars, some actually work respectable jobs and earn a few bucks on the side...

i didnt know that, pmsl.There are still plenty who dont do freelancing too.Correct or not correect,i would have been verey angry if he said it to my face,the same anger as the op,but i would have taken it much further

[Neeranam]

Define prostitute. Is that were a women sleeps with a man for money? So after 20 years of marriage if the woman gets half a million dollar settlement does that make her a whore? Or is this term used only when its a cash transaction on the night?

Of course it doesn't make her a prostitute - prostitution is a job and involves sleeping with many men.