Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[IrishIvan]

I am very attracted to Thai women, especially the darker Isaan women with high cheakbones and rice farmer thighs. Now if I were to meet a very rich isaan woman I would actually quite happily tell everyone that would listen that I have a beautiful and rich Thai woman. Who wouldnt? Its similar females. They are happy to get into a relationship with a guy that drives a ferrari. But looks arent as important to women. Its more about financial security

[lemoncake]

My across the street neighbor said she was force into Patpong as a teenager and an orphan. I am not from Phillipines I am from India. I have been here for a few months (travelling around the world) and I don't claim to be an expert on anything 'Thai'

Every bar girl i have met claims to be poor and yet has the latest iphone along with ipad.

[Ringmybells]

My across the street neighbor said she was force into Patpong as a teenager and an orphan. I am not from Phillipines I am from India. I have been here for a few months (travelling around the world) and I don't claim to be an expert on anything 'Thai'

Every bar girl i have met claims to be poor and yet has the latest iphone along with ipad.

They make good money why not have fancy expensive tools:-)

[pattayadingo]

Is it really that hard to tell the difference between a bargirl (a girl who works in a bar whose job is to have sex for money) and a regular girl?

Dress, vocabulary, attitude and current employment combined paint a pretty clear picture to me.

I do not frequent bars but my "whore radar" is finely tuned....others, not so much it seems.

When you look at all those students selling themselves in some places, I'd not know the difference between those who do and those who do not if I saw them all in uniform.

Its easy, look out for the one who is winking and smiling at you

I'm so hansum they ALL wink and smile at me

[fire and ice]

Most tourists from the west who DONT freqnent girlie bars have NO CLUE what is all about - most will even sit at a beer bar in (say) Phuket and dont even get it that the women are up for rent. Less likely at a beer bar in Bangla but the quieter ones near their hotel will not get suspected. They usually only suspec the agogos which are few & far between in Phuket.

[Konini]

What a ridiculous assumption.....everyone knows hardly any were bar girls.....they were cashiers!

Hardly?

I admit to thinking the same before I came to Thailand for the first time, and after I'd gone home. It's not until I lived in Chiang Mai that my views changed. We've had a lot of family and friends from Australia and England come to visit. Without exception they believe all Thai's with westerners are working girls, or in the case of older couples of a similar age, ex-working girls.

I've also come across a lot of older men who really have no idea that their wife/girlfriend was in the trade. It's not an act, they really believe it.

Like Bookman, I'd never heard the word 'bargirl' before I came to Thailand. It's only an alternative identifier than prostitute.

And on semantics, Karl Marx once wrote a piece on all of the proletariat prostituting themselves for 10 hours a day - in that sense we are all prostitutes; giving our mind and bodies to someone else (employer) to do what they want us to until hometime.

[weecree]

Was the gentleman Scandinavian? They aren't know for their tact when it comes to discussing delicate matters.

If he's been travelling Thailand for 3 months, he is more than just a tourist, chances are he has had many encounters with prozzies.

In a huge and accurate sample size of three people, i can claim with 100% certainty* that swedish people are incredibly honest and are genuinely curious people*. If he was a brit on the other hand (as i suspected), he would have been deliberately winding you up. Swedes though are honest to god, salt of the earth lovely*. But maybe a bit taboo free*. Ive never disliked a swedish person. Theyre all round, open, sincere, and lovely*

*sample size of 3/9,453,000.

[Theoutsider]

Even in the UK I will get asked how we met. I told one guy we met on-line ( lie ) and told him that I had a 6 month guarantee with her and I had the option of trading her in for a newer model. The guy believed me and for 5min he was going "really" till I crushed his little fantasy. some people are so gullible

But I never go around asking people how they met there partner.

It just because you mention she Thai then all the salacious fantasies come out.

Ping pong anyone.

Yup, I play, You admit you did not " met on-line", so where did you buy her from ?

Whatever makes you feel better than me:)

I met her at customs.

[hgma]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Good on you!

And good follow up question: How would you respond if a farang you do not know, out of the blue suggests your wife was an ex pro?

Now that's a good macho question........beating him up or??????? have a background check done ..something people should do in the first place or just find your decent drinking buddy...buddy

[Dr Wanchai]

The fact of the matter is a significant proportion of expats are married to what you

called "ex-working girls". And to hear someone saying he/she never heard about (Thai)

"bar girls" or what not is preposterous.

[chiang mai]

The fact of the matter is a significant proportion of expats are married to what you called "ex-working girls". And to hear someone saying he/she never heard about (Thai) "bar girls" or what not is preposterous.

Do you have statistics or a link to prove that fact? Because if yoiu don't (which you don't) the second part of your sentence is preposterous!

[DoctorG]

sorry, tried to get an amusing photo in here - didn't work

Edited May 3, 2013 by DoctorG

[bra]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Good on you!

And good follow up question: How would you respond if a farang you do not know, out of the blue suggests your wife was an ex pro?

Now that's a good macho question........beating him up or??????? have a background check done ..something people should do in the first place or just find your decent drinking buddy...buddy

Please explain why being asked if your wife is an ex "bar girl" is so insulting? If someone asked me that I would most likely tell him to mind his own business - but I would not be drinking with him in the first place.

Well my wife to be is an ex "bar girl" I am proud to say, but she, like all of the women in the world is an individual - not a label. Yes some you would be ashamed to walk down the soi with - but you should see some of the young women in Australia dressed in next to nothing, drunk and swearing at the top of their voices. If you don't look so good either then she feels ashamed too.

My wife to be dresses well, looks great, converses in good English, is clever (Degree from good private Uni). Yes there is a significant age difference, but if I say so without modesty I don't look too bad either and do not dress like a cheap Charlie. Yes we get the looks from tourists - mainly wives - but that's insecurity and my GF and I don't notice it all now.

As far as Thai's are concerned most do not look that much and are nearly always friendly - because we are friendly towards them. My Thai business contacts ask if I have a live dictionary when I try to converse in my very basic Thai. But then we go to their favourite luxurious club where the girls are all white skinned from the north and get paid for their services too. What label do they have?

The best put down of tourists I have heard was made by a Canadian business partner. We were in a BKK 5 star hotel executive floor lounge with two drop dead gorgeous well dressed young Thai ladies and the lounge was somewhat full. As we had room where we were sitting a waitress brought over two middle age couples and asked if they could join our lounge area. Before we could say OK one of the wives said" no thanks we don't sit with whores". Our "whores" missed what was said but the waitress did not and apologised to us later. On the way out my friend said to the offending wife "my friend and I work in sales and marketing so I guess you could call us whores, but we don't mind if you did not want to sit with us, as we don't sit with arrogant ignorant insulting racist <deleted>. Have a nice day!"

[Dancealot]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Good on you!

And good follow up question: How would you respond if a farang you do not know, out of the blue suggests your wife was an ex pro?

Now that's a good macho question........beating him up or??????? have a background check done ..something people should do in the first place or just find your decent drinking buddy...buddy

Please explain why being asked if your wife is an ex "bar girl" is so insulting? If someone asked me that I would most likely tell him to mind his own business - but I would not be drinking with him in the first place.

Well my wife to be is an ex "bar girl" I am proud to say, but she, like all of the women in the world is an individual - not a label. Yes some you would be ashamed to walk down the soi with - but you should see some of the young women in Australia dressed in next to nothing, drunk and swearing at the top of their voices. If you don't look so good either then she feels ashamed too.

My wife to be dresses well, looks great, converses in good English, is clever (Degree from good private Uni). Yes there is a significant age difference, but if I say so without modesty I don't look too bad either and do not dress like a cheap Charlie. Yes we get the looks from tourists - mainly wives - but that's insecurity and my GF and I don't notice it all now.

As far as Thai's are concerned most do not look that much and are nearly always friendly - because we are friendly towards them. My Thai business contacts ask if I have a live dictionary when I try to converse in my very basic Thai. But then we go to their favourite luxurious club where the girls are all white skinned from the north and get paid for their services too. What label do they have?

The best put down of tourists I have heard was made by a Canadian business partner. We were in a BKK 5 star hotel executive floor lounge with two drop dead gorgeous well dressed young Thai ladies and the lounge was somewhat full. As we had room where we were sitting a waitress brought over two middle age couples and asked if they could join our lounge area. Before we could say OK one of the wives said" no thanks we don't sit with whores". Our "whores" missed what was said but the waitress did not and apologised to us later. On the way out my friend said to the offending wife "my friend and I work in sales and marketing so I guess you could call us whores, but we don't mind if you did not want to sit with us, as we don't sit with arrogant ignorant insulting racist <deleted>. Have a nice day!"

/enquote

Point taken.

Good luck!

Edited May 3, 2013 by Dancealot

[JLCrab]

As per the above story from Dance and Bra:

Back in the 70s or 80s my golfing parents were vacationing in Mallorca, Spain, and they were paired up with another couple to play a round. As they approached the first tee, the other couple looked at them with aghast which confused my parents. They very quietly introduced themselves to the English couple and said they were "E & M from America". At that the English couple gave a sigh of relief and basically said "Sorry ... We thought you were GERMAN!"

So it takes all kinds.

[lemoncake]

My across the street neighbor said she was force into Patpong as a teenager and an orphan. I am not from Phillipines I am from India. I have been here for a few months (travelling around the world) and I don't claim to be an expert on anything 'Thai'

Every bar girl i have met claims to be poor and yet has the latest iphone along with ipad.

They make good money why not have fancy expensive tools:-)

Because

1. Poor people do not have fancy tools

2. They supposedly do it to support the family, surely have better use for 50k

3. Since they forced as you claim, funny they would need fancy tools

[TheSpade]

Because

1. Poor people do not have fancy tools

2. They supposedly do it to support the family, surely have better use for 50k

3. Since they forced as you claim, funny they would need fancy tools

Last time I was in Cambodia (PP) the girls that worked in the bar beside my hotel were always pleading poverty. Only get paid $80 a month, stay in a room with 12 girls, can only eat once per day etc...yet they all have multiple smart phones and designer hand bags. One girl had an iphone 4S, blackberry and another phone. She'd just been to the dentist for $300 dental treatment. Poor indeed.

I think when they come from such poverty then end up with a bit of cash they just get carried away and buy everything they can.

Back to the subject at hand. Most Western guys don't have much contact with any girls outside the sex scene and do marry ex bar girls so why is it so strange that tourists think this?

[Neeranam]

As per the above story from Dance and Bra:

Back in the 70s or 80s my golfing parents were vacationing in Mallorca, Spain, and they were paired up with another couple to play a round. As they approached the first tee, the other couple looked at them with aghast which confused my parents. They very quietly introduced themselves to the English couple and said they were "E & M from America". At that the English couple gave a sigh of relief and basically said "Sorry ... We thought you were GERMAN!"

So it takes all kinds.

As per the above story from Dance and Bra:

Back in the 70s or 80s my golfing parents were vacationing in Mallorca, Spain, and they were paired up with another couple to play a round. As they approached the first tee, the other couple looked at them with aghast which confused my parents. They very quietly introduced themselves to the English couple and said they were "E & M from America". At that the English couple gave a sigh of relief and basically said "Sorry ... We thought you were GERMAN!"

So it takes all kinds.

I remember Germans getting a hard time when I was at primary school in Scotland in the 70s. Hardly surprising is it? Only 25 years since the end of the war. And remember what havoc they caused with leaving their towels on the sun-loungers on their way home from the bar. Edited May 4, 2013 by Neeranam

[Neeranam]

Was the gentleman Scandinavian? They aren't know for their tact when it comes to discussing delicate matters.

If he's been travelling Thailand for 3 months, he is more than just a tourist, chances are he has had many encounters with prozzies.

In a huge and accurate sample size of three people, i can claim with 100% certainty* that swedish people are incredibly honest and are genuinely curious people*. If he was a brit on the other hand (as i suspected), he would have been deliberately winding you up. Swedes though are honest to god, salt of the earth lovely*. But maybe a bit taboo free*. Ive never disliked a swedish person. Theyre all round, open, sincere, and lovely*

*sample size of 3/9,453,000.

I have noticed that Swedes seem to be very inquisitive. I agree they are generally great people, especially the ones with Snus and the ones that know 50 ways to cook a herring.

[F4UCorsair]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Good on you!

And good follow up question: How would you respond if a farang you do not know, out of the blue suggests your wife was an ex pro?

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

dancealot, as I read it, he didn't suggest the wife was an ex bar girl/pro, but ASKED. I don't see a problem with that, because he may have been asking for a good reason, i.e., he has a bar girl and he's wondering about his prospects, just sounding out how a bar girl has adapted to a non 'working' life.

mancub, I think it's an accurate assumption too because whilst there are many 'decent' Thai women married to foreigners, from my observation, there are a lot of foreigners who couldn't hold together a relationship back home (wherever that is) who are married to bar girls. Bar girls are their only chance.

[akspace]

So to put things into perspective.

I think the Thai population currently stands at 65 million, so it is fair to assume that half of that, or 32.5 million, are women

Someone above said that it is considered that 2 million are in the "service" industry, so indeed 15 times more or 30 million of them are having a normal job.

Now most of those 2 million , not all but let's say more than half,are located in tourist areas and very much of them get married or in some way related to a foreigner.

Are there any known figures about how many foreigners are married or have a relationship with a Thai lady ?

Your numbers are all wrong, it's generally stated that 80-90% of the sex workers in Thailand and not involved in in the foreign trade, they work in the Thai only industry. So given your 2 million number only about 200,000 - 400,000 work in the foreign market. Much smaller then the 1 m you postulated.

[Dancealot]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible xxxx the guy was.

How would others respond?

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

dancealot, as I read it, he didn't suggest the wife was an ex bar girl/pro, but ASKED. I don't see a problem with that, because he may have been asking for a good reason, i.e., he has a bar girl and he's wondering about his prospects, just sounding out how a bar girl has adapted to a non 'working' life.

But asking alone is very rude and impolite. By asking one implies or suggests. Clearly you see this different from me.

Very clear.

[chiang mai]

So to put things into perspective.

I think the Thai population currently stands at 65 million, so it is fair to assume that half of that, or 32.5 million, are women

Someone above said that it is considered that 2 million are in the "service" industry, so indeed 15 times more or 30 million of them are having a normal job.

Now most of those 2 million , not all but let's say more than half,are located in tourist areas and very much of them get married or in some way related to a foreigner.

Are there any known figures about how many foreigners are married or have a relationship with a Thai lady ?

Your numbers are all wrong, it's generally stated that 80-90% of the sex workers in Thailand and not involved in in the foreign trade, they work in the Thai only industry. So given your 2 million number only about 200,000 - 400,000 work in the foreign market. Much smaller then the 1 m you postulated.

The 2 million number is way off, the following talks in terms of 200/300,000, of which 80/90% are involved in the Thai only part of the industry.

http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?cc=mfsfront;c=mfs;c=mfsfront;idno=ark5583.0012.005;rgn=main;view=text;xc=1;g=mfsg

[lemoncake]

Because

1. Poor people do not have fancy tools

2. They supposedly do it to support the family, surely have better use for 50k

3. Since they forced as you claim, funny they would need fancy tools

Last time I was in Cambodia (PP) the girls that worked in the bar beside my hotel were always pleading poverty. Only get paid $80 a month, stay in a room with 12 girls, can only eat once per day etc...yet they all have multiple smart phones and designer hand bags. One girl had an iphone 4S, blackberry and another phone. She'd just been to the dentist for $300 dental treatment. Poor indeed.

I think when they come from such poverty then end up with a bit of cash they just get carried away and buy everything they can.

Back to the subject at hand. Most Western guys don't have much contact with any girls outside the sex scene and do marry ex bar girls so why is it so strange that tourists think this?

Really most western guys do not have much contact?? and you arrived at that how exactly?

[F4UCorsair]

dancealot said,

"But asking alone is very rude and impolite. By asking one implies or suggests. Clearly you see this different from me. Very clear."

I think it's no more rude than asking where one is from, e.g., "Are you from America/Australia, etc." It's a legitimate question.

Your grasp of the language is quite different from mine if you say that asking implies or suggests. If you ask somebody on his deathbed if he's feeling OK, you're implying or suggesting what? That he's well or almost dead? If you ask somebody if he's going to Chinag Mai for the weekend, you are implying that he is???? Seriously???

[BradinAsia]

If you think most foreigners meet their future wives in bars, no wonder your have

screwy assumptions.

Thais don't automatically assume that the farang's lady is a former BG. The don't

have to assume. They'll usually know at first glance if she is a former bargirl or not.

I'm not Thai but even I can easily distinguish the ex-bargirls in most cases.

and I think your delusional and it appears you know very little, if I had to put a number to it, I would say 60 to 70% of farangs have married "ex-bar girls" "cashier's in bars", "waitress'in a bar" or just use whatever symantic you want to use.

Oh and BTW how does one easily distingish an ex-bar girl...is it the secret wai they do or do they have the bar name tattooed on their bottom or the soles of their feet and does one get a receipt of proof of purchase from said bar ?

This is becoming rather comical.

I suspect that farangs who've never lived outside a tourist area may not be able to

distinguish between a bargirl and a regular Thai lady. If, however, you've lived in

non-tourist areas as long as I have, you would not have this problem.

I have never lived in tourist area in the 12 years I have been here....have in fact been very surprised when i have found out that certain young ladies, who have a good education, wai farangs and do all the things "good" Thai girls are suppose to do, are on the game or have been on the game...

so please take your all knowing generalisations and...you know the rest.

My all knowing generalizations... or yours?

[BradinAsia]

ALL Thai girls married to 'foreigners' are 'working girls'. Sorry to break the illusion but its not that difficult to understand.

Finally, the ultimate TV xenophobe.

This is pure, blatant racism at it's finest.

[belg]

a friend of my wife (back in home country) also thai, was not a BG, but they talked and it came out that the girl had a lot of boyfriends and she deceided to move to his home country (mine) when she found the right one, meaning, the one with a good job and house ... probably, the richest she ever met lol

so no BG but opportunist anyway

[BradinAsia]

a friend of my wife (back in home country) also thai, was not a BG, but they talked and it came out that the girl had a lot of boyfriends and she deceided to move to his home country (mine) when she found the right one, meaning, the one with a good job and house ... probably, the richest she ever met lol

so no BG but opportunist anyway

Pure, blatant racism award #2.

[TimTang]

Is it really that hard to tell the difference between a bargirl (a girl who works in a bar whose job is to have sex for money) and a regular girl?

Dress, vocabulary, attitude and current employment combined paint a pretty clear picture to me.

I do not frequent bars but my "whore radar" is finely tuned....others, not so much it seems.

When you look at all those students selling themselves in some places, I'd not know the difference between those who do and those who do not if I saw them all in uniform.

Its easy, look out for the one who is winking and smiling at you

I'm so hansum they ALL wink and smile at me

In case you haven't noticed...We're ALL handsome and they wink and smile at ALL of us. If you don't have the finances, you won't seal the deal.