I hate roosters !!

In BKK/Sukhumvit the corner villa across my building kept for years a truly obnoxious species that never ate nor slept as ithey were crowing non-stop 24/7.

Finally he had to make the noise machines disappear when a nice condo got built facing his rookery.

In Pattaya the villa on the back of my small rise has kept three vociferous roosters over all the years I've lived there. Made many tenants leave ...

Thais have very small cocks, farang have big ones.

Hahaha..very funny indeed :-)

Lots of then raised for fighting I suspect

Correct. Opposite my house in the country there is a cock fighting farm and every weekend, they have cock fights. You can imagine that I get up every morning around 4 to make myself a cup of tea. Near my house in BKK, there is a similar one. Cock fighting in Thailand and the associated gambling is illegal, but the police don't give a sh&t. i wouldn't report it either as I value my houses, but it might be one option for you to consider - find the farm and report it. You can bet that almost all the crowing in Thailand is due to cock fighters.

"Hoary old chestnut"

Not so hoary as you might think.

My friend.

I was referring to this fox:

You really ought to let your mind wander more often.

Don't always stick to the straight and narrow.

Don't take everything so literal.

Roosters are at their worst when one is hung over.

Trying to sleep it off at about 8.

Easy solution.

Marry a Thai sheila.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NHAee2OUzU

The Dutch have a saying about Indonesians; it's "East Indies Deafness".

..an ability to block out all unwanted sounds.

I wish I could learn how to do this without resorting to earplugs. I have the usual problem with the hounds howling next door, but also the open-air workshop in front of my house, with an electric saw, buzzers, etc going until 9pm. The rosters are just audible, but not too bad.

A strange business, in the middle of a residential area.

Yes, I could close the windows and doors, but I would also like some cool night air.

But as Rudyard Kipling's poem states:

"And the end of the fight is a tombstone white

With the name of the late deceased

And the epitaph drear: "A fool lies here Who tried to hustle
the East. "

A lot of the above replies have nothing to do with the subject.

I think a lot of Thais are not aware that Roosters are not required for hens to produce eggs. I am plagued with Roosters roosting in the Tree outside my Bedroom. They start crowing around 2 am and continue until daylight. Thais can sleep through this annoying noise. In most civilized countries, Roosters are banned from Town areas...hopefully Thailand will follow suit one day.

The Muslim call to Prayers is also an archaic habit invented when there were no clocks or mobile phones. A totally unnecessary old habit.that has outlived any useful purpose other than to be a noisy annoyance to non Muslims

This thread hit a nerve. When living in Sisaket, there was a rooster just outside my window. I used to come up with all of these fantasies about killing it. It was sonic torture pure and simple. I couldn't read, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think. It was my own personal Edgar Allan Poe story. I found the journal entry I made one day after I finally snapped. (Please skip this if you don't want to read something 1/2 page long or find journal entries about killing roosters tedious--it was related to the thread topic so I posted it.)

****

I am now plotting the death of the rooster. Can I just kill it with a Machete? Whack it with a stick? The rooster calls again, and it pierces my cranium.

"Honey, can I please kill the rooster? I can'tsleep."

My girl looks at me perplexed. She simply tunes it out. The farm cacophony is like a lullaby to these people. Much like when I used to live next to the elevated train in Chicago...you just get used to it.
"Why you want to kill boy chicken?" she asks.
"Because the rooster is driving me nuts. I mean, boy chicken making me
ting tong mak mak! I swear to God that the boy chicken has some kind of
internal clock that makes him scream every eleven seconds."
She just says, "Mai kaojai."
"You know, like a clock. The boy chicken has some kind of clock inside
of him that makes him scream every eleven seconds. It's making me
crazy. I'm sick. I can't sleep. i want to go back to Bangkok where
it's quiet."

After a long pause, I can see the wheels turning in my girlfriends head. She is trying to comprehend what I am saying, to which she replies

"You funny. Chicken don't own a watch."
*Facepalm*
"I know the chicken doesn't own a watch."
"But you just say that boy chicken have a clock. Chickens can't tell time."
"Can I just kill it please?"
"I don't know whose chicken it is. Maybe they get mad if you kill somebody's chicken."
"It's not yours or your neighbors?"
"No, boy chicken just like to walk around and boom boom lady chicken. Then they have baby chicken."

I rub my temples. Inside, I am really happy that my girlfriend is pretty, because at times like these, I am convinced she is retarded.
Now the rest of my girls family comes outside to eat. They ask her why I am angry and she explains to them in Lao/Isaan, that I want to kill the boy chicken.
"My mom say boy chicken taste no good. Why you want to kill it?"
We go back and forth for ten minutes about chickens owning watches, my un-Buddhist desire to extinguish a creatures life simply because it annoys me, and in the end, the guy who wires the Western union money every month (Me) wins out. My girl's mom gives me the nod. I have permission to kill the rooster. I grab a huge, cast iron machete, and begin to walk towards the soon to be dead rooster. There is some Lao/Isaan conversation going on, followed by laughter. I turn around and ten people are watching me. Then more kids from neighboring houses show up and soon the crowd has grown to 20. I am thinking of the George Orwell scene where he has to go kill the elephant.
"Why is everybody laughing?" I ask
"Because you bring big knife to kill little boy chicken," My girl hands me a long stick that they use to walk the water buffalo with. "Use this instead."
I trade my Machete for the stick and now there are even more people who have come to see the strange white man execute the boy chicken because it talks too much. I approach the Rooster. I don't want to kill it, but my sanity demands it. I decide to give it one last chance. I close my eyes and send the rooster a mental projection. I tell the rooster in my mind, that it is driving me crazy. That If it limits its calling to dawn only, that I will let it live. This every 11 seconds thing is a form of psychic torture, and I will kill it if it doesn't shut the Hell up.
I open my eyes and raise my stick. I am going to kill it the next time it cock a doodle doo's. I wait, and wait, and wait some more. It doesn't make a sound. I turn around to the crowd of onlookers, and shrug my shoulders.
"Go ahead and kill it." my girl says.
"No, I'm good. I think it stopped. I talked to the chicken with my
mind and told it to be quiet or I would kill it. I think it understands
now."
My girlfriend translates this into Lao/Isaan for the crowd of people. They nod as if this was a good outcome. No chickens had to die today. One man asks my girl something to ask me.
"This man want to know if you can talk to his wife. He says she never shuts up either."

******

There are no atheists in fox holes.

That's all I know about the subject of prayer.

FYI...foxes dig fox holes. Soldiers dig 'fighting holes'.

There is a very large, magnificent looking rooster stalks around my house most of the day screaming out in English every 30 seconds or so, yes in English, I swear it: "Faaaarkin' AAARse 'ole". I don't know who owns him, but that MF is headed to the Tom Yum pot in the near future.

"This man want to know if you can talk to his wife. He says she never shuts up either."

Classic.......very funny

We are the exception that proves the rule being the owners of the only crowing cockerel in the village, he's pretty reliable going off at about 5AM each morning. He does set off the geese and guinea fowl too, monks are already up and banging their gong so we are not actually disturbing anyone

The neighbours have actually commented that it's nice to have the alarm clock back and are surprised to learn he lives at 'Baan Farang' Everyone else who used to keep the beasts has moved over to the quieter varieties which lay bigger eggs.

Our chap and his 'wife' are of the fighting type given to us by Wifey's mum, but he won't be doing any boxing, they're pets.

A lot of the above replies have nothing to do with the subject.

I think a lot of Thais are not aware that Roosters are not required for hens to produce eggs. I am plagued with Roosters roosting in the Tree outside my Bedroom. They start crowing around 2 am and continue until daylight. Thais can sleep through this annoying noise. In most civilized countries, Roosters are banned from Town areas...hopefully Thailand will follow suit one day.

The Muslim call to Prayers is also an archaic habit invented when there were no clocks or mobile phones. A totally unnecessary old habit.that has outlived any useful purpose other than to be a noisy annoyance to non Muslims

In Pattaya I bought the best Songkran water gun I could find a few years ago and I shoo-spray my neighbors' roosters from my 3rd floor back balcony when they venture within striking distance in his backyard. It's a small revenge and it takes the boomboxes away for a while. My present steady TGF doesn't mind the nightly racket. I'm used to that in my Ubon village, she says. Me I wear earplugs.

The previous 24/7 crowing monsters in BKK I tried to poison a couple times with rice laced with rat poison that I was throwing over the fence in their pen. Didn't work. Anyway they're gone now - certainly because of complaints when that upscale condo across from the roostery was built.

"FYI...foxes dig fox holes. Soldiers dig 'fighting holes'."

I patiently keep telling you guys.

I'm not talking about fighting holes.

I'm talking about this:

Gee Willikers!

Can we please get on the same page here?

Someone is truly incredibly creative to come up with so many BS topics. This is easily one of them. This is Bs to the max.

Someone is truly incredibly creative to come up with so many BS topics. This is easily one of them. This is Bs to the max.

Flattery will get you nowhere

SC

There is really not much one can do about roosters in the city, or around a gated community housing development.

The reason I broached this topic was that the sounds these birds make is truly incredibly annoying.

I am daily listening to one of them from about 4 AM to maybe 10 AM, and then for good measure just random calls when least expected.

I happen to be used to this having suffered for so many years. But decades ago when I was younger it really did rattle me.

I too used to dream up all types of measures and retribution. But in the end one never really acts these plans out.

We also have heard stories about people bringing these birds on passenger flights in the past, and this is true.

If I had it to do over again, I think I might try a BB gun, or maybe some sort of non lethal sonic energy weapon developed by the FBI for crowd control.

I AM sure everyone has a rooster story who lives in Asia, and in Asian cities.

If you have plenty of money, then you can just buy off your neighbors, I suppose.

The only answer I had to noisy cockerels in the past was to move. I picked my place carefully visiting it different times of the day to make sure there were no dogs, temple speakers and definitely no damned cockerels. I have been happy ever since. My neighbour brought a cockerel home one day, and I was devastated, I thought my tranquility was about to be broken, luckily that bird was for the pot.

This is why Asia needs zoning laws, and enforcement of existing zoning laws.

You are correct that once you invest money and time to purchase a property or a house, and then you learn there are roosters next door, this can be devastating because this noise is about the worst.

This is why Asia needs zoning laws, and enforcement of existing zoning laws.

You are correct that once you invest money and time to purchase a property or a house, and then you learn there are roosters next door, this can be devastating because this noise is about the worst.

You are lucky - I live right next to a mosque that rattles on 3 times a day starting at about 4 am - however, living here for 4 years means i don't hear it anymore.

that's why there's much cock fight?

Purchase any problem bird. Cut its head off. Give corpse to an old woman. Problem solved.

The biggest 'cock' on here is the OP.

One of my neighbours here in the uk has a rooster but he's generally a good boy.Only noisey between 6 & 9 am.

Someone is truly incredibly creative to come up with so many BS topics. This is easily one of them. This is Bs to the max.

Flattery will get you nowhere

SC

In a bizarre way, I'm warming to OldChinaHam ...

It would be a boring 'ole Forum if everyone was the same.

.

"It would be a boring 'ole Forum if everyone was the same."

It would be even more boring if some were not so bizarre.

Anyway, back to the topic. OP, I suspect you're a victim of fowl play.

10 million stray dogs, no problem.

70 million derro dog owners, that's the problem.

Live the chooks alone, the're good tucker and excellent cockpit fighters.

This is why Asia needs zoning laws, and enforcement of existing zoning laws.

You are correct that once you invest money and time to purchase a property or a house, and then you learn there are roosters next door, this can be devastating because this noise is about the worst.

Perhaps this is why Asia needs a tolerant population. Or ear plugs. Zoning laws are surely a bit of a sledgehammer to crack the nuts of noisy roosters.

To be honest, you're suggestion is typically Asian: rather than actually deal with the problem, introduce unnecessary hurdles for the law-abiding, that will be ignored by the people at fault in any case

SC

To be honest, you are correct.

I did not come to Asia to enjoy the zoning laws.

And, you are correct.

The thing I enjoy most about Asia, especially China, is that there are very few laws governing the individual. Before a society becomes developed, one does feel truly free. Next we become developed and are plagued with cycle helmet rules, and many other rules which restrict our feelings of being free.

The first thing I noticed when I left the west is that I immediately felt unburdened of the thousands of nitpicking laws, rules and regulations which a modern developed society seems to always have.

Again, you are right that even though I do not like to be awakened by loud birds in the morning, I still definitely do not want zoning laws, and building codes, and other quagmire restrictions.

One nice thing about Asia that I have noticed, too. I am rarely awakened by leaf blowers in the places I usually enjoy living.

Ta Ta For Now.