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Dilemma

bubblegum

By bubblegum
in Family and Children

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bubblegum Platinum Member

bubblegum

Posted
Posted

So what to do ?

Mind my own business or do something for the sake of a 2 year old ?

I know of this Thai / Western couple who have a 2 year old boy. The boy is not the brightest I've ever seen and still does not talk much.

Now the man works on and off, 1 month home, 1 month off kind of work and when he's at home all seems nice and good. But everytime he's off to work the place turn into an illigal casino.

At any time between 2 p.m. and 2 a.. there will be about 20 Thai "ladies" playing cards and the kid does not get out at all. At times he is even locked into the bathroom !! As not to disurb the players.

This is what I think at times like that : " Stay out of it ! It's not your family, you are not a snich ! Nobody will appreciate you if you tell " and so on an on. Then the other side of my brain kickes in and starts talking " Look at the poor boy he hasn't got a life !! "

It's driving me bonkers

So what would you do ?

Nothing

Tell the dad

Tell the police

Tell his countries embassy

??????????????

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David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

In your own words ... "Mind my own business"

It's nice that you care ... wai.gif

... but how another couple raise their child is not your business.

If you have a Thai partner ... what does he/she say?

.

  • Like 3
Phronesis Gold Member

Phronesis

Posted
Posted

A home casino, or BON as it is called in Thai is illegal.

Take some photos and have some one pen a description in Thai and then drop an envelope containing these details into the provincial police station.

A raid on the Bon should ensue, thereby releasing the mother from her gambling commitments to focus more satisfactorily on parenting.

Or she will go to the monkey house and the father will have to arrange an alternative childcare arrangement.

Either scenario is a positive outcome for the kid.

  • Like 1
bubblegum Platinum Member

bubblegum

Posted
  • Author
Posted

This is NOT farangland and the sooner folk who come here realize that the better. coffee1.gif

I guess you miss the point that the kid is 50 % falang, reading is a gift.

cooked Platinum Member

cooked

Posted
Posted

I hate to agree with David but in Thailand, more than in a lot of other countries, 'making a fuss' is to be avoided. If nobody in the neighbourhood cares, if your wife doesn't care, then you can't do much. I can imagine the police reaction: 'locked in the bathroom? I was put in a cesspit'.

I would talk to the husband but don't imagine that he will welcome your 'interference'.

I went through a similar experience years ago in Switzerland, nobody was interested.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

patongphil Gold Member

patongphil

Posted
Posted (edited)

Tell the Dad!!!

I am in a similar postion with a young girl and sometimes I too work away. I would be very pissed off in the least if no-one had the courage to tell me under the circumstances - Xxxx hope it is not me - oh yeah you said young boy.

Kiddies deserve support from all and to just standby makes you in some way complicit in what is going on.

Edited by metisdead
  • Like 2
Mario2008 Star Member

Mario2008

Posted
Posted

A child has a thousand parents. If a child is in danger it is everyone's responsibility to act.

But as has been said, do be careful. Interfering in family disputes can turn against you in a blink of an eye.

  • Like 2
KarenBravo Diamond Member

KarenBravo

Posted
Posted

A child has a thousand parents. If a child is in danger it is everyone's responsibility to act.

But as has been said, do be careful. Interfering in family disputes can turn against you in a blink of an eye.

So...........are you saying yes, or, no?? Sounds like you are actually sitting on the fence.

Khun Watchaporn Senior Member

Khun Watchaporn

Posted
Posted (edited)

So far I see that Thai people tell me to stay out while we falang care more about the boy.

Who's live do you value more?

Yours, or possibly the boys?

Answer, then go with it.

Edited by Khun Watchaporn
David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

Firstly bubblegum ... do you have a Thai partner?

If yes, what does he/she think of the situation with the neighbours child?

What does he/she say that you should do?

Is he/she unconcerned about what you see the situation is next door and you have come to the members seeking justification for your feelings if they differ from your partners?

'The boy is not the brightest I've seen' ... exactly how have you determined that?

The boy is two and average development for linguistics is approximately 2 or 3 words in a sentence ... and that is presuming that he is spoken to in English at home.

Huge difference between 'an illegal casino' and 'some ladies playing cards'. Yes, I know that card playing ladies can get a bit carried away. If it was an illegal casino ... don't you think the cops would discretely know about it?

"At times he is even locked into the bathroom !! As not to disurb the players." ... you know this for a fact? Maybe it was for something else.

If the bathroom is being used as a 'detention centre', the child will begin to fear that and taking the child to the bathroom will become an issue. Presuming this issue will be then played out when the Father takes the child to the bathroom. If the Father starts asking why the child is scared of the Bathroom, the story, as you perceive it will come out and your moral dilemma is resolved.

"" Look at the poor boy he hasn't got a life !! "" ... maybe, more correctly, a life as you were raised.

Well, you weren't raised in Thailand ... were you?

bubblegum ... I'm not having a go at you. You are trying to rationalise in your mind and heart a situation which you perceive to be morally wrong, and to right that wrong.

But, I might suggest that you are not in possession of all of the facts.

If you speak Thai, then get invited to the game and get some more intel. Discretely ask around a little.

If you don't speak Thai, but have a partner who does ... get them invited to the game.

If you don't speak Thai, don't have a partner who agrees with your analysis of the injustice that you perceive is occurring next door ... then, I would do, as I suggested in my first post ... nothing.

... or, if you are so concerned about the child's welfare ... offer to baby-sit the kid ... problem solved!

.

David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

A child has a thousand parents. If a child is in danger it is everyone's responsibility to act.

But as has been said, do be careful. Interfering in family disputes can turn against you in a blink of an eye.

Great advice ...

In Thailand. More so then in Western countries ... many hands are involved in raising a child.

Neighbours become honorary Aunts (and Uncles).

Sisters become mothers

Grandmothers become mothers again.

The advice about 'Family Disputes' should be ignored at your personal cost.

David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

Actually bubblegum ... I wrote the above response as if you were the neighbour ... a flaw in my thinking.

If you are not the neighbour ... just how have you discovered the information that you tell us in the OP?

Have you witnessed it first hand ... or relied on someone else describing the situation to you?

.

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mad mary Silver Member

mad mary

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

A kid is getting neglected and the majority of you say stay away none of your business .This beggars belief.

  • Like 3
candypants Gold Member

candypants

Posted
Posted (edited)

The messenger always gets shot...............eventually.

i would be willing to take the bullet if the child is truly neglected.

i certainly hope someone would step up for my child, though she will never find herself in that position

that said, i chose a good partner, something few here seem to do if all the stories are to be believed

Edited by candypants
  • Like 1
David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

A kid is getting neglected and the majority of you say stay away none of your business .This beggars belief.

Hold on there Mary ... don't get Mad just yet.

Let the OP come back with a few facts before we hung, drawn and quarter the mother of the young boy in question ... OK?

.

Loptr Gold Member

Loptr

Posted
Posted

I saw a Thai woman being beaten by a male companion one day in Bangkok. A farang tried to intervene to prevent the woman from being injured any further. The woman and the man turned on the farang and began beating him. As much as it rubs against the grain, it's best to mind you own business, especially in a place like Thailand where things can go pear shaped very quickly.

mad mary Silver Member

mad mary

Posted
Posted

A kid is getting neglected and the majority of you say stay away none of your business .This beggars belief.

Hold on there Mary ... don't get Mad just yet.

Let the OP come back with a few facts before we hung, drawn and quarter the mother of the young boy in question ... OK?

.

I've heard enough & I wouldn't be waiting on the blessing of a forum before I acted.If a child is at risk how long do you wait before it is to late?

David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

A kid is getting neglected and the majority of you say stay away none of your business .This beggars belief.

Hold on there Mary ... don't get Mad just yet.

Let the OP come back with a few facts before we hung, drawn and quarter the mother of the young boy in question ... OK?

.

I've heard enough & I wouldn't be waiting on the blessing of a forum before I acted.If a child is at risk how long do you wait before it is to late?

I wait long enough to know the facts ...

.

mad mary Silver Member

mad mary

Posted
Posted

A kid is getting neglected and the majority of you say stay away none of your business .This beggars belief.

Hold on there Mary ... don't get Mad just yet.

Let the OP come back with a few facts before we hung, drawn and quarter the mother of the young boy in question ... OK?

.

I've heard enough & I wouldn't be waiting on the blessing of a forum before I acted.If a child is at risk how long do you wait before it is to late?

I wait long enough to know the facts ...

.

Yeah and social services did the same regarding baby peter here in the uk ...granted different country & hopefully not the same outcome.

OP do what your gut /heart tells you ,folk who ignore this sometimes live to regret it.Act now,Stuff all this scaremongering .If you are concerned enough to raise it here you seem like a person that will act and not let this pass you by.

  • Like 1

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