Do Thais Judge Farang On Their Appearences?

[ColPyat]

While thai men use prostitutes, as far as I am aware, they do not date/marry them, and to be seen with them and such is to lose face? Is this correct?

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification.

Which "Thai men" are you talking about?

Thais, as humans in general, have many educational backgrounds and come from many social classes. People generally marry within similar educational backgrounds and social backgrounds, and even more so in the rather strict Thai society. There are of course some exceptions, but not many.

Most prosititutes are from the lower classes, and do usually marry men from their own background, and area. Yes, many Thai men do marry ex-prostitutes, but that is often less visible to the visitor, or the expat moving exclusively in middle/upper class urban society.

It very much depends on the area. In many villages it is almost a tradition now that young women go into prostitution, and therefore most men have little choice other than marrying a returning prostitute.

Most Thai men of the urban middle upper classes obviously marry into their own class, and would rarely marry a woman from the rural poor classes, regardless of her being a prostitute or not. Of course there are the occasional exceptions, of which i know a few. But there the men's families are unusually tolerant.

Very important to note there is also that Thailand has many forms of prostitution, some that fall into a greyzone that is very difficult to count under the definition of prostitution, such as the professional minor wifes (my own term), who, after being temporary minor wife for changing partners regularly end up even being the one and only of someone even far higher up her own social class.

Appearances are of course very important in Thailand's face culture, more so than in the west. The past of a person often matters less than the present appearance. In that way, an ex-prostitute that behaves according to her present status will be shown respect according to her present status. People will still gossip, but they do this anyhow as gossiping is something of a national sport here.

In case of Farang married with Thai women, it is almost automatically thought at first, in general, that she was a prostitute. Which is somewhat understandable due to the huge percentage of farang actually married with ex-prostitutes. Some people might be judgemental about it, but i would avoid generalisations there.

Many lower class men are resentful as their viewpoint is that a farang marryied a Thai woman that should be marryied to one of their own, or because many Thai men from this social background have had wifes/girlfriends leaving them in order to go into prostitution.

Many people from middle class backgrounds are resentful as the are somewhat amused about farang marrying far below their social status.

Though of course not all are resentful. It is part of Thai culture not to interfere into the other's personal affairs. But gossip will of course not stop. It never does in Thailand.

Most importantly, people will judge you by appearances and the presence.

Over time, it matters less if the wife was a prostitute, than how she acts and behaves now in her present situation. In practice - if your wife/girlfriend behaves like a prostitute, dresses like a prostitute, talks like a prostitute, people will treat her accordingly, and will try to avoid being seen with you and your wife.

If your wife behaves according her present role, behaves like a wife, dresses like a wife, talks like a wife, people will have no overt issues with her past.

Which should be common sense.

I also would somehow forget about the traditional Thai behavioral rules regarding relationships, they are disappearing fast. Thailand has changed tremendously in this aspect in the last few years. Urban Thailand is regarding relationships between the sexes almost the same as in the west, even though faces are still kept up.

Premarital sex is almost common now in urban areas, and the villages do not lack behind much either.

Edit:

What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

Edited April 2, 2006 by ColPyat

[jumbo]

Yeah right. My wife usually tells me some time after the fact. She probably doesn't think it would be wise to stop and fight with everyone. As I said, they are muttering, and even my wife probably can't hear every word and call them to account. As in many situations here, it is probably good that I can't understand Thai. I wouldn't have that much restraint.

It's very probably good for many guys that can't understand what is being said. I often can understand and have to practise restraint often.

Can you imagine a Thai man and a farang woman going into a restaurant in farangland and the waitresses welcoming the woman only, only giving the woman the menu as it's written in farangian, taking the money from the man then giving the change to the woman! - and then scowling when they get a tip of 20 baht!

This happened to us last night in a top Khon Kaen hotel. I'm just having a vent, I know the reasons for this Still it gets fcukin annoying when it happens everyday and what they are thinking.

neeranam

Know what you mean dude

So... I gave the wife a debit card and she pays the bill, check is in and such, it helps thai understand she is more than just a 'hooker'

and sometimes just for fun I hold out my hand for fun....usually they hesitate giving me the change

but seriously, what do guys expect when in farangland women ay their own bill have their own money and here it is not that usual....

So give het a debit or even a credit card to make herself believable towards wherever you are going unless....you do not trust her...

Met my wife in a bar and whenever people ask me I hestitated to say so becuase you could see they were thingking 'aha.....' but it never crosses their mind she was going out and so was I

In farangland most of the men meat their girls in a bar...does that mean they are BG's

[skylar]

Can you imagine a Thai man and a farang woman going into a restaurant in farangland and the waitresses welcoming the woman only, only giving the woman the menu as it's written in farangian, taking the money from the man then giving the change to the woman! - and then scowling when they get a tip of 20 baht!

This happened to us last night in a top Khon Kaen hotel. I'm just having a vent, I know the reasons for this Still it gets fcukin annoying when it happens everyday and what they are thinking.

I'm confused, Neeranam. I thought you were male?

[BKK90210]

An excellent post "ColPyat"....too true!.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2006-04-02 15:24:48) *

Can you imagine a Thai man and a farang woman going into a restaurant in farangland and the waitresses welcoming the woman only, only giving the woman the menu as it's written in farangian, taking the money from the man then giving the change to the woman! - and then scowling when they get a tip of 20 baht!

This happened to us last night in a top Khon Kaen hotel. I'm just having a vent, I know the reasons for this wink.gif Still it gets fcukin annoying when it happens everyday and what they are thinking.

I'm confused, Neeranam. I thought you were male?

I am confused now too.

I was giving an example of a male foreigner in my country.

[Kerryd]

It's not just Thais. Farangs will judge other farangs based on their appearance and the "company" they keep as well.

At first glance, many will assume the worst about someone else (oh, look at those young punks, they must be soccer hooligans because they are wearing football jerseys. Look at that old fart walking with that young girl, he must be paying her. Oh dear, that foreigner is walking with a child ! He must be a pervert !)

When I go somewhere with any of the Thais that live in my building, I assume that people (mostly farangs) will be making assumptions, about me and about the person I'm with.

If I go shopping with one of the middle-aged women, they will probably assume we are married (as they certainly don't look like they'd be working in a bar).

If I go to pay a utility bill with one of the younger (early 20's) women, people will assume she's a hooker.

If I walk to the local 7/11 and one of the ankle-biters tags along, some people will think I'm a pervert.

And oh jeesh, if I am seen walking with one of the guys that lives in the neighbourhood, some people will assume I'm gay.

People are going to think what they want to think, and most of them will go to their graves with their preconceived notions engraved on their headstones.

Very few of them will ever be able to think in terms broad enough to overcome those ideas. To them, anyone who doesn't look and act the same as they do, must be up to no good one way or another.

As far as I am concerned, they can kiss my hairy white @ss !

(Hmm what will they assume today when I go to the fair at Wat Chai with 2 older women, 2 younger women, 3 ankle-biters and old Uncle Sang ?)

Edited April 2, 2006 by Kerryd

[warriors]

(Hmm what will they assume today when I go to the fair at Wat Chai with 2 older women, 2 younger women, 3 ankle-biters and old Uncle Sang ?)

They will think you are Paying

[English Noodles]

(Hmm what will they assume today when I go to the fair at Wat Chai with 2 older women, 2 younger women, 3 ankle-biters and old Uncle Sang ?)

Your paying

[BKK Traveler]

In farangland most of the men meat their girls in a bar...does that mean they are BG's

Where are you from? Where I'm from very few people meet in a bar and meeting in a bar has a very bad reputation and many will think you must be desperate to be picking someone up from a bar. I've only known one person in my home country who married a person they met in a bar. I'm not making any judgements about people who meet their mate in a bar, just saying that it certainly isn't the place where most people meet.

[richard10365]

I live in a small village. The people here are farmers. They mostly farm rice and grow longan trees. The only ones with big houses are the ones with daughters. There are many big houses here.

When I say a girl works the bars, I am including bar girls and prostitutes just for this discussion. Although I know not all bargirls are prostitutes.

Girls who go to work the bars in Thailand or in Japan do so for their future. People who live in villages like mine understand that young girls can either go to work the farms and local factories, study in university, work the bars, or some combination of school and work. Many end up with farang boyfriends or husbands.

Most girls working in the bars earn money to buy houses, land, and other things. Some use the money to start a business.

While it will take a university girl 20 years to earn enough money to build a nice house, it will only take a bar girl 2 or 3 years.

Girls who work in the bars in my village are looked at the same as girls who go study in a university.

I think the people who normally look down on these farangs with bar girls are the ones who were not poor in Thailand. These people would normally look down on a poor person anyway. They see a bar girl who is most likely from a poor background and automatically look down on her. This is especially true of older Thais who come from Bangkok.

I have no respect for people who look down on the poor people (to include the bar girls). There is no loss of face when I meet people like that. There is only my disgust for their trashy sence of value.

If not for the places a girl could work like that, there would be a lot more poor people in Thailand.

[jumbo]

In farangland most of the men meat their girls in a bar...does that mean they are BG's

Where are you from? Where I'm from very few people meet in a bar and meeting in a bar has a very bad reputation and many will think you must be desperate to be picking someone up from a bar. I've only known one person in my home country who married a person they met in a bar. I'm not making any judgements about people who meet their mate in a bar, just saying that it certainly isn't the place where most people meet.

I think the question should be where are you from........I mean are you serious??? sorry I generalized I just thought it was so from experience and tales from the brothers, where do you all meet?? at work

but to satisfy your need to know I come from the Netherlands where it is common to meet girls in bars.....

J

[The Dude]

A lot of ppl do "meat" their girls in bars. These bars are often referred to as "meet markets". LOL

[Mister Doom]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

[richard10365]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

[Mister Doom]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

[richard10365]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

[BKK Traveler]

I think the question should be where are you from........I mean are you serious??? sorry I generalized I just thought it was so from experience and tales from the brothers, where do you all meet?? at work

but to satisfy your need to know I come from the Netherlands where it is common to meet girls in bars.....

J

I'm from a small town in the U.S. Many people do go to a bar and pick up a girl, usually a one night stand. People where I'm from typically don't go to a bar looking for a serious relationship. For a serious relationship they find someone in a more ordinary everyday place...such as work, school, supermarket, church, organization, via friends, etc.

Maybe things are different in other parts of the U.S., or in the big cities, but still except for one case I've never heard of a serious relationship that started in a bar. Maybe some have but the person was just too ashamed to admit it due to the negative image in most people's minds of meeting someone from a bar.

[Mister Doom]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

You obviously speak adifferent version of English to me.

Where, in my one sentence, home spun little homily, did I say or imply that someone who earns respect is not initially deserving of respect?

A footballer will earn respect if he scores a few goals. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good player beforew he scored the goals.

An actor will earn respect if he acts well in a few plays. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good actor to start with.

A Prime Minister will earn respect by improving the lot of his people. That doesn't mean he wasn't deserving of respect before he started his tenure. (I'm not talking about Thaksin BTW)

Need I go on??????

Jesus.....I'M DOOMED!!!

[Donz]

i judge on appearances

[britmaveric]

Most shocking bit in this thread is Kerry has a white hairy arse!

[bbigman21]

We don't fit the stereotype, but any time we go out in public she can still hear the muttering by the Thais. They tell each other that she is not attractive, but is still a prostitute.

So, what you are telling us is that when you go out, Thai people talk amongst themselves that your wife is unattractive and a prostitute.

And she or you say nothing, yeah right........

Well I get mad but my wife saves the day. She says it is just talk. And it is

[richard10365]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

You obviously speak adifferent version of English to me.

Where, in my one sentence, home spun little homily, did I say or imply that someone who earns respect is not initially deserving of respect?

A footballer will earn respect if he scores a few goals. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good player beforew he scored the goals.

An actor will earn respect if he acts well in a few plays. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good actor to start with.

A Prime Minister will earn respect by improving the lot of his people. That doesn't mean he wasn't deserving of respect before he started his tenure. (I'm not talking about Thaksin BTW)

Need I go on??????

Jesus.....I'M DOOMED!!!

I guess we do speak a different english. You said exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time. To me that means your implying they have don't have the respect to begin with.

Why not say that people in general will earn respect over time instead of implying that it is a problem that only exprostitutes and farangs have.

In your orginal statement you are stereotyping exprostitutes and farangs when in reality respect is something everyone new in a village has to earn.

[Bryan in Isaan]

Good advice. I live here and try and maintain a respectable appearance, mostly for the sake of my wife.

Bryan, you said in an earlier post that when you go out, Thai people say your wife is unattractive and a prostitute, maybe you are still wearing your ' Good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to Pattaya' T-Shirt.

I guess I'll finally have to change my T-shirt. It's so comfortable though.

To clarify (wife might read this someday), she is actually attractive, but we are both in our late 40's and don't always wear nice new clothing, jewellry and such. We also like gardening and don't use skin whitener, so have a nice healthy tan. For those reasons, here in Thailand many people would think of us as being unattractive.

[Thaising]

In my humble opinion, not all prostitutes are bad and some are honest to win your heart, they maybe much better then your sweetheart. We could miss many good things in life by having the wrong attitude toward misconception on people occupation and class.

Edited April 2, 2006 by Thaising

[Mister Doom]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

You obviously speak adifferent version of English to me.

Where, in my one sentence, home spun little homily, did I say or imply that someone who earns respect is not initially deserving of respect?

A footballer will earn respect if he scores a few goals. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good player beforew he scored the goals.

An actor will earn respect if he acts well in a few plays. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good actor to start with.

A Prime Minister will earn respect by improving the lot of his people. That doesn't mean he wasn't deserving of respect before he started his tenure. (I'm not talking about Thaksin BTW)

Need I go on??????

Jesus.....I'M DOOMED!!!

I guess we do speak a different english. You said exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time. To me that means your implying they have don't have the respect to begin with.

Why not say that people in general will earn respect over time instead of implying that it is a problem that only exprostitutes and farangs have.

In your orginal statement you are stereotyping exprostitutes and farangs when in reality respect is something everyone new in a village has to earn.

NO I'M NOT!!!!!

Jesus - I was referring to the excellent Mr Colpyat's post, which I partially quoted, but left out the main body in the interests of saving space. I now quote him below:

Over time, it matters less if the wife was a prostitute, than how she acts and behaves now in her present situation. In practice - if your wife/girlfriend behaves like a prostitute, dresses like a prostitute, talks like a prostitute, people will treat her accordingly, and will try to avoid being seen with you and your wife.

If your wife behaves according her present role, behaves like a wife, dresses like a wife, talks like a wife, people will have no overt issues with her past.

Which should be common sense.

And I was simply agreeing with him by saying:

exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time.

Got it yet?

First of all you accuse me of implying that farangsand prostitutes are not deserving of respect, and then you accuse me of stereotyping farangs and prostitutes.

And here's me, enjoying a nice little harmless Sunday afternoon on the TV Forum, contributing what I thought were innocuous, well considered posts. But I guess I didn't consider the likes of you.

I'M TRULY DOOMED!

[richard10365]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

You obviously speak adifferent version of English to me.

Where, in my one sentence, home spun little homily, did I say or imply that someone who earns respect is not initially deserving of respect?

A footballer will earn respect if he scores a few goals. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good player beforew he scored the goals.

An actor will earn respect if he acts well in a few plays. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good actor to start with.

A Prime Minister will earn respect by improving the lot of his people. That doesn't mean he wasn't deserving of respect before he started his tenure. (I'm not talking about Thaksin BTW)

Need I go on??????

Jesus.....I'M DOOMED!!!

I guess we do speak a different english. You said exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time. To me that means your implying they have don't have the respect to begin with.

Why not say that people in general will earn respect over time instead of implying that it is a problem that only exprostitutes and farangs have.

In your orginal statement you are stereotyping exprostitutes and farangs when in reality respect is something everyone new in a village has to earn.

NO I'M NOT!!!!!

Jesus - I was referring to the excellent Mr Colpyat's post, which I partially quoted, but left out the main body in the interests of saving space. I now quote him below:

Over time, it matters less if the wife was a prostitute, than how she acts and behaves now in her present situation. In practice - if your wife/girlfriend behaves like a prostitute, dresses like a prostitute, talks like a prostitute, people will treat her accordingly, and will try to avoid being seen with you and your wife.

If your wife behaves according her present role, behaves like a wife, dresses like a wife, talks like a wife, people will have no overt issues with her past.

Which should be common sense.

And I was simply agreeing with him by saying:

exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time.

Got it yet?

First of all you accuse me of implying that farangsand prostitutes are not deserving of respect, and then you accuse me of stereotyping farangs and prostitutes.

And here's me, enjoying a nice little harmless Sunday afternoon on the TV Forum, contributing what I thought were innocuous, well considered posts. But I guess I didn't consider the likes of you.

I'M TRULY DOOMED!

Yes....I think if you cannot quote orginally what you comment on then you are truly doomed.

Do you expect people to guess what your thinking when you type something? Look at your orginal post that I responded to. Try to imagine how it looks. You must be drinking to think thats a well considered post.

[Mister Doom]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

You obviously speak adifferent version of English to me.

Where, in my one sentence, home spun little homily, did I say or imply that someone who earns respect is not initially deserving of respect?

A footballer will earn respect if he scores a few goals. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good player beforew he scored the goals.

An actor will earn respect if he acts well in a few plays. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good actor to start with.

A Prime Minister will earn respect by improving the lot of his people. That doesn't mean he wasn't deserving of respect before he started his tenure. (I'm not talking about Thaksin BTW)

Need I go on??????

Jesus.....I'M DOOMED!!!

I guess we do speak a different english. You said exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time. To me that means your implying they have don't have the respect to begin with.

Why not say that people in general will earn respect over time instead of implying that it is a problem that only exprostitutes and farangs have.

In your orginal statement you are stereotyping exprostitutes and farangs when in reality respect is something everyone new in a village has to earn.

NO I'M NOT!!!!!

Jesus - I was referring to the excellent Mr Colpyat's post, which I partially quoted, but left out the main body in the interests of saving space. I now quote him below:

Over time, it matters less if the wife was a prostitute, than how she acts and behaves now in her present situation. In practice - if your wife/girlfriend behaves like a prostitute, dresses like a prostitute, talks like a prostitute, people will treat her accordingly, and will try to avoid being seen with you and your wife.

If your wife behaves according her present role, behaves like a wife, dresses like a wife, talks like a wife, people will have no overt issues with her past.

Which should be common sense.

And I was simply agreeing with him by saying:

exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time.

Got it yet?

First of all you accuse me of implying that farangsand prostitutes are not deserving of respect, and then you accuse me of stereotyping farangs and prostitutes.

And here's me, enjoying a nice little harmless Sunday afternoon on the TV Forum, contributing what I thought were innocuous, well considered posts. But I guess I didn't consider the likes of you.

I'M TRULY DOOMED!

Yes....I think if you cannot quote orginally what you comment on then you are truly doomed.

Do you expect people to guess what your thinking when you type something? Look at your orginal post that I responded to. Try to imagine how it looks. You must be drinking to think thats a well considered post.

And why did I quote and make reference to ColPyat comments, whose very long post was only two above mine, if I wasn't discussing it? Maybe you just read the oneliners and skip the long ones.

I don't drink. Everything I write is written stone cold sober.

Just imagine what I could say if I was drunk

Maybe you drink; that's what makes you so sensitive and think that every farang is out to make insulting comments.

Sorry Richard10365, I may be doomed, but you aint got no sense of humour.

I'd rather be DOOMED!

(back to the thread guys)

[richard10365]

That is a bit of a misconception, and more than a oversimplification........................

.............................What i forgot to add to mention is, that, especially when living in Thailand, a proper command of Thai is more than helpful to break stereotypes and misconceptions down quickly.

An excellent post, par excellence, amongst several good ones.

You've just about covered all the angles, and speaking from decades opf experience in Thailand, I concurr with your comments 100%

My earlier post was a feeble attempt at a pat generalised answer to the OP.

I also firmly believe that ex porostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time. Certainly by the Thais who are genuine and good hearted - and they're the only ones that really matter.

I think exprostitutes and their farangs husbands have about as good of chance of earning respect as a Thai woman with a university degree and her farang husband.

You agree with one poster about stereotypes and misconceptions then you go and imply that prostitutes and farang husbands initially are not deserving of respect.

Which side of the fence are you on?

That's a pretty big implication you are implying.

Didn't say anything of the sort about anyone intially not deserving of respect. You seem to be a might sensitive, if I may say so.

In certain circumstances, you're quite right about university girls being in the same situation.

I was thinking of the situation where the Thais in question were fully aware of the girl's background - i.e family and friends from the village etc.

So Sorry if I didn't make it all crystal clear.

Perhaps I did not understand what you meant when you said, "ex prostitutes and their farang husbands can earn respect and acceptance over time". It seems you are saying, initially, they do not deserve respect when first meeting someone. I'm glad you cleared up my confusion by adding they don't initially deserve respect from their family and friends in their village.

You obviously speak adifferent version of English to me.

Where, in my one sentence, home spun little homily, did I say or imply that someone who earns respect is not initially deserving of respect?

A footballer will earn respect if he scores a few goals. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good player beforew he scored the goals.

An actor will earn respect if he acts well in a few plays. That doesn't imply that he wasn't a good actor to start with.

A Prime Minister will earn respect by improving the lot of his people. That doesn't mean he wasn't deserving of respect before he started his tenure. (I'm not talking about Thaksin BTW)

Need I go on??????

Jesus.....I'M DOOMED!!!

I guess we do speak a different english. You said exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time. To me that means your implying they have don't have the respect to begin with.

Why not say that people in general will earn respect over time instead of implying that it is a problem that only exprostitutes and farangs have.

In your orginal statement you are stereotyping exprostitutes and farangs when in reality respect is something everyone new in a village has to earn.

NO I'M NOT!!!!!

Jesus - I was referring to the excellent Mr Colpyat's post, which I partially quoted, but left out the main body in the interests of saving space. I now quote him below:

Over time, it matters less if the wife was a prostitute, than how she acts and behaves now in her present situation. In practice - if your wife/girlfriend behaves like a prostitute, dresses like a prostitute, talks like a prostitute, people will treat her accordingly, and will try to avoid being seen with you and your wife.

If your wife behaves according her present role, behaves like a wife, dresses like a wife, talks like a wife, people will have no overt issues with her past.

Which should be common sense.

And I was simply agreeing with him by saying:

exprostitutes and farang husbands can earn respect over time.

Got it yet?

First of all you accuse me of implying that farangsand prostitutes are not deserving of respect, and then you accuse me of stereotyping farangs and prostitutes.

And here's me, enjoying a nice little harmless Sunday afternoon on the TV Forum, contributing what I thought were innocuous, well considered posts. But I guess I didn't consider the likes of you.

I'M TRULY DOOMED!

Yes....I think if you cannot quote orginally what you comment on then you are truly doomed.

Do you expect people to guess what your thinking when you type something? Look at your orginal post that I responded to. Try to imagine how it looks. You must be drinking to think thats a well considered post.

And why did I quote and make reference to ColPyat comments, whose very long post was only two above mine, if I wasn't discussing it? Maybe you just read the oneliners and skip the long ones.

I don't drink. Everything I write is written stone cold sober.

Just imagine what I could say if I was drunk

Maybe you drink; that's what makes you so sensitive and think that every farang is out to make insulting comments.

Sorry Richard10365, I may be doomed, but you aint got no sense of humour.

I'd rather be DOOMED!

(back to the thread guys)

Whatever doom. You make comments in response to a quote and expect other people to search the entire thread to understand what your talking about. If you sleep better at night thinking you were right then so be it.

[Dustoff]

I'd rather be DOOMED!

YO !

Chill, dudes.. Geez.

You both make good points then go of on some offensive/defensive tangent and I can feel the moderators lurking like vultures ready to shut down a perfectly good thread because of YOU!

Yeah, both of you..

Thailand is different from the rest of the world only in cultural matters, yes? I mean, people are people and people talk about people and everyone plays the same game with only minor differences.

My wife grew up in a kinda poor town in Isaan and made her own way for many years to get an education while working at Cental Dept store and waitressing in restaurants but she still has those "poor" roots, ya know?

When we met, it was me and my falang buddy connecting with these two lovely mature women who were buddies and everything was super until my buddy and his lady got married. She was from a more wealthy family in Udorn and ended up dumping my wife as soon as "she had her's", explaining that "I only pretended to be your friend for your benefit". Aarrgghh! The very definition of bigotry and I have to admit that I was upset to say the least seeing my wife in tears for weeks on end.

Our very own Richard90210 wrote:

"I have no respect for people who look down on the poor people (to include the bar girls). There is no loss of face when I meet people like that. There is only my disgust for their trashy sence of value."

This statement struck me because I fully agree with the beginning of it but not the conclusion. I decided that it was not my place to come to this country and judge people for cultural values they grew up with which severly limits their choices. For me to put the whole class/caste system of Thailand into a box called "trashy sence (sic) of value" is not something I could ever be comfortable with.

My old buddy and I are now estranged and both likely regretting it (I know that I am) and it is terribly sad that neither of them (he and his Hi-So wife) can be open-minded enough to realize that my wife is one very, very special person in this world. Their loss.

IMHO, expressing disgust for "people like that" puts us at exactly at their same level and indicates that we don't have the patience to even try to understand where their values come from and why they are stuck in them...

Gee, just like me, eh?

[Mister Doom]

[)

Whatever doom. You make comments in response to a quote and expect other people to search the entire thread to understand what your talking about. If you sleep better at night thinking you were right then so be it.

You don't give up do you?

The paucity of your argument is mind boggling.

Whoever said anything about searching the whole thread. I've said about ten times already that I was referring to the post quoted within my post.

Now that's not searching the whole thread is it?

Good God man, I've already said I'm sorry once for causing a misunderstanding, but you just won't let go. What is it with you?

I guess I should pity you.

By the way its MISTER Doom to you.

Aint yer got no respect?

Goodnight, Richard.