How do you live with permanent depression (obesity)

[rascalman]

There is great meds. that work I.e. paxil. However you will die early if you do not get help with your weight. I wish you luck, get help please.

[rascalman]

It's very difficult to lose weight and harder to keep it off.I'm no expert but have been a 'fatty', lost it and yo yo it again.As I get older I put on weight, I'm not obese but have a tummy and love handles that I'd love to lose.You just need to eat properly and exercise. Easier said than done when you want a Big Mac rather then a green salad.Just be happy with who you are. Life is short and too short to worry.Good luck mate.

Wrong conclussion. He Can live longer lf HE chooses to get well. Then be much happier!

[Sheryl]

A callous and unhelpful post has been removed.

If you have nothing constructive to say, don't post.

[Gsxrnz]

OP - I was fat from the age of 12 to 35. Had a lifestyle change and managed to shed 35 kilos and kept it off with no bounceback in nearly 20 years. Here's the trick - lose the weight, you've done it before so whatever you did actually worked and you can do it again. Try and regain that feeling of high self-esteem that you talked of and make that your focus. Do whatever it takes, dig deep, use screwy diet fads if you want, chain yourself to the bed, have your jaw wired together.......Ok that's extreme, but Mate you WANT to do it, only YOU can do it, start right now - go to the fridge and your food stocks and throw out anything that tastes good or is fattening!!! Don't go near a food shop for 3 days and you'll be on the road to recovery!!

My secret was simple, I stopped putting excessive amounts of food in my mouth and started doing moderate exercise such as walking only. Had tried numerous diet fads, just didn't work. The guaranteed way to lose weight is to eat less calories than you use in a day - simple stuff really - DON'T PUT TOO MUCH FOOD INTO YOUR MOUTH.

Keeping the weight off is another story. I became slightly obsessive and weighed myself every day for probably 10 years. Every day was a realisation that if I was 200g heavier than the day before, that's a little less I can eat today. You have to make sure you lock in that godawful fear of getting fat again. Being 200g heavier today means you may be 200g more the next day.........that's 6kg in a month if you get into denial.

Even now I weigh myself once a week. I have a "trigger weight". If I am approaching my trigger weight, I immediately cut down food intake and recheck more frequently. If I ever get past my trigger weight, it's rarely by more than 500g and I take INSTANT action to stop it getting any worse. Drink water, exercise, eat very minimal food.

If you're below the trigger weight you can enjoy all the foods you love, but as you approach it, you just cut down slightly. I eat copious amounts of the stuff that's bad for you but can still keep the weight off by not going into denial when you first realise that the weight is creeping up on you.

BTW, my trigger weight is 2kg more than my usual/ideal weight. I occasionally get 2kg below my ideal weight so I have a 4kg range - that's a lot of mackers

Make a promise to your self that your hands will not get within a foot of your mouth unless you're brushing your teeth, picking your nose, shaving, or drinking water. Semi-serious, you just have to have that willpower and realise that nobody is gonna do it for you, no book, no diet fad, no crazy food, no fairy Godmother.

[theblether]

He's certainly Mister Angry. I don't think he likes his life. Shame that, I love mine.

You love being 150 kilos plus?Doubtful!

Laughably obsessed.

Edited June 24, 2013 by theblether

[BradinAsia]

From my experience, along with everyone else I know, the very WORST approach is trying to starve yourself.

When you sharply cut down on food intake, your body has sensors that detect that right away. The sensors

send signals to your body saying, "Hey, the bastards are trying to starve you." Your body immediately turns

on its natural survival mechanisms.

The survival mechanisms immediately slow your metabolism way down in order to extract as much fuel as it

possibly can from the available supply. Also, your body stops burning fat. Stored fat is a survival mechanism

for emergencies.

When you try to starve yourself slim, you will always lose (unless you are locked in a cage) because your body

will fight you to the bitter end to ensure "survival." The body's natural defenses are much much stronger than

a person's willpower alone.

Don't starve ever! Always eat smart.

[BradinAsia]

Being fat is a serious no-no.

It's 80% diet and 20% exercise. Go low carb - not easy in LOS, I know - and hit the gym for cardio and resistance training.

I would say that it's even 95% food and 5% exercise (from my own personal experience of loosing 50 kg in a 6-months period).

I was used to avoid eating rice/noodles here, whenever I was eating out then I would order specifically without rice (mehao kao), and usually 4 or 5 portions, mostly meat.

Exercise is what makes you lose weight, and keep it off.

It also cures depression, which often causes eating too much.

Once you get the exercise level right, your desire to eat will decrease, and your weight gains will be stopped.

Stop eating all fried food now, no gassy drinks at all (yes, no beer and no coke), avoid beef and pork dishes.

No bread, no pastry, no pies, nothing made from wheat.

When you eat out, divide the rice portion in half, leave that on the plate.

At the weight you are, swim for 1 hour every day until you are down to 100kg.

Most other forms of exercise will likely cause knee and ankle injury at your current weight.

I used to be fat, when in my 40s and 50s (nearly 100kg), now I'm 80Kg, hoping for 75Kg soon.

Today I've eaten a snickers bar and 1 latte yen (mai waan), that's it, energy food for walking through the jungle to Wat Doi Suthep.

(I did take a banana leaf meal with me, cow man sang kayaar, sticky rice in coconut oil with sweet egg custard, but didn't feel the need to eat it)

Just thinking about having my one and only meal of the day. Probably nam prik ong with sticky rice.

You make some good points here, especially your advice about swimming. But I don't

think some of your other ideas (such as eating once a day) will work for everybody.

In my experience, I lost the weight by watching my diet (without exercise) and I have

been able to keep it off by exercising. I didn't start exercising until I lost the weight.

[F4UCorsair]

Armedian, my thoughts on this problem may be different from other posters, but I haven't read all posts.
Forget whether your obesity is the cause or result of depression, and instead focus on wanting to stay alive, because you will surely die prematurely if you don't shed a lot of weight.

That thought may not do your depression any good, but there is a chain reaction here, lose weight so you'll live better and longer, and as a consequence you'll feel better about yourself, as well as just feel better health, and I'd be prepared to bet the depression will take care of itself.

I'm not sure what I'd be like if I didn't exercise regularly, but with overweight parents, and a brother who died from a heart attack at 57, I'd guess I'd be a lot more than 73 kgs at 178 cm. Exercise for me is a way of life, and I feel lousy if I don't do something everyday.

It's won't be easy, and I won't pretend it will be, but diet control and moderate exercise are the tried and true formula. There is nothing like success to create the will to go on.

Good luck.

Edited June 24, 2013 by F4UCorsair

[robertson468]

I think that most people would agree that running is a real chore at times. I have been running most days since I was 15 and at the grand age of 68, still do it, but still find it tedious and have a mental arguement with myself every morning if I am going for the run today. Once the shorts are on, I know I am committed and by then my running partner (a labrador) is jumping all over me whoping and yelping to get going. I run 15 minutes with him (mind you there are three hills included in the run) and then home to change partners, I also have a little "hairy heinz variety" terrier type thingy and she gets a 10 minutes run. Now comes the important part because the rest of the routien is anarobic (weights) for 40 minutes. What I have done, is taken most of the mind numbing boredom out of my exercise regime and whilst it still requires a certain amount of discipline, there is also a fun factor in it, which seems to make it less of a grind. So, look at what you are doing and if your heart sinks at the mere thought of running for 30 minutes in one go, then break it down to maybe one session, then stop for water and stretching and then off you go again and see how much better you feel for it. And remember the anarobic bit is also burning off those sticky carbs. Remember, whatever your routine, it must be achievable without killing you - you should have a feeling of well being once you finish your routine and remember that feeling. We are all rooting for you Buddy and wish you the very best of luck. If you live on Samui, I would be more than happy to come and give you a hand to get you going again.

[Jingthing]

To keep this in perspective, agreeing obesity is a serious health risk, statistically SMOKING is a A LOT worse. Just saying ...

Edited June 24, 2013 by Jingthing

[Ridler]

There is a well known saying, 'eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper'. Stick to this, and start exercising. Join a gym, and start walking on a treadmill. One hour a day, slow to start with then increase the speed each week. If you are worried and self conscious about people looking at you, they're not. Good luck and the more exercise you do the better you will feel about yourself.

[yoslim]

To keep this in perspective, agreeing obesity is a serious health risk, statistically SMOKING is a A LOT worse. Just saying ...

But ciggarettes are way cheaper and mix so well with beer

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I think that most people would agree that running is a real chore at times. I have been running most days since I was 15 and at the grand age of 68, still do it, but still find it tedious and have a mental arguement with myself every morning if I am going for the run today. Once the shorts are on, I know I am committed and by then my running partner (a labrador) is jumping all over me whoping and yelping to get going. I run 15 minutes with him (mind you there are three hills included in the run) and then home to change partners, I also have a little "hairy heinz variety" terrier type thingy and she gets a 10 minutes run. Now comes the important part because the rest of the routien is anarobic (weights) for 40 minutes. What I have done, is taken most of the mind numbing boredom out of my exercise regime and whilst it still requires a certain amount of discipline, there is also a fun factor in it, which seems to make it less of a grind. So, look at what you are doing and if your heart sinks at the mere thought of running for 30 minutes in one go, then break it down to maybe one session, then stop for water and stretching and then off you go again and see how much better you feel for it. And remember the anarobic bit is also burning off those sticky carbs. Remember, whatever your routine, it must be achievable without killing you - you should have a feeling of well being once you finish your routine and remember that feeling. We are all rooting for you Buddy and wish you the very best of luck. If you live on Samui, I would be more than happy to come and give you a hand to get you going again.

Just to point out at 100+Kg you can't exercise by running.

I doubt many people could run at 90Kg.

Without getting serious and permanent joint injuries.

Edited June 24, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[robblok]

To keep this in perspective, agreeing obesity is a serious health risk, statistically SMOKING is a A LOT worse. Just saying ... 

And that makes it not a problem ? There will always be something worse.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[harrycallahan]

I probably find it hard to emphasize because I've generally found it easy to maintain a healthy weight. This year I did drop 2-3 belt holes in a few months- was glad to find out being 40 years old isn't an impediment to weight loss.

It doesn't have to be complicated.

Eat 3 modestly proportioned meals a day. That's it, outside of those meals you don't eat. No multiple serves.

Don't focus so much on eating healthy foods, eat less of all food. Those 'health' foods still add to your waistline. (rabbit food the exception)

Walk, briskly. 30-60 minutes a day. Don't even attempt jogging if obese, don't need to. Bike...

I found moving to a lesser quantity of food hardest the first week, do get used to a new normal.

[Jingthing]

To keep this in perspective, agreeing obesity is a serious health risk, statistically SMOKING is a A LOT worse. Just saying ...

And that makes it not a problem ? There will always be something worse.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

No, I'm saying don't panic, don't do any crash diets, don't bother rushing it (always backfires), think more about lifetime changes. I do think the public is misinformed about the relative health dangers of obesity. It's bad but not as bad as the public thinks.

[ozyjon]

Hello armedian,,

I hope this helps you,, firstly you are not alone,, i love food i love cooking and eating, when i travel i like to sample the countries cullenery delights which result in me being overweight, being a westerner doesn't help either and i'm sure you know the rest, blah blah blah, you've herd it all so where now,,, don't be or get depressed because i'm older than you and i'm pissed off i can't do the things i used to do when i was younger, that will really piss you off,, recently i met up with a girl and her mother i know in Bangkok, we spent a few days together with them before i went up north,, one day the daughter asked me to go to Bangkok city with her,, we got in a taxi and the chatting started with the driver, i could not understand but noticed we did a detour around the city and crossed the river, we ended up in a Hospital,, i thought OK go with the flow,, it turned out my friend went to get a supply of slimming tablets from a reputable Hospital, and i didn't think she was fat, she had a normal body, what gives,, OK moving on,, the beauty industry in Thailand is becoming the number one industry after Japan and Korea so do what the locals do go to the Hospital, http://www.yanhee.net/home take a Thai with you if you can but they speak English there and ask for "make slim medicine" they will know exactly what you are after, they will perform a physical on you to determine you won't die then watch the fat fall off,, believe me i've seen it on another friend of mine who was obese and slimmed down before her wedding and still slim to this day,, the medicine they give you (tablets) has a special ingredient that i can explain to you in private but it's legal in Thailand.

[BuriramRes]

I think most depresion is caused by worry. Years ago I read a book titled "How to stop worrying & start living" by Dale Carnegie?

In there it said the following:

(1) 95% of the things you worry about never ever happen

(2) if you are worried about some thing, ask yourself "if this comes about, can I live with it?"

(3) if the answer is "Yes" then forget about it.

My philosophy about depression is to train yourself to be strong enough to ignore it. If you go to a phychiatrist they will pump you full of drugs and if one does not work, then they withdraw you from it & try another one.

I had a partner 15 years ago who was a manic depressent. We lived on an island off the coast of Brisbane, QLD and she was under the treatment of a phychiatrist who would not allow me to be part of the team. One Saturday morning she rang up this phycho, they talked for about an hour, then she told me that phycho wanted to talk to me. I talked to him for about 10 mins, then he asked to talk to my partner again.

I told him that she had gone down to the beach (we had a beachfront property) to which he said "it's more important you be with her than talk to me".

I went down to the beach (Morton Bay, still water) but couldn't see her. A neighbour told me she had swum out to some boat moorings 50 mtrs out. The area is subject to severe tidal rips but I swam out (not being a good swimmer) calling out to her.

She finally called back to me, she was holding on to one of these moorings & I grabbed her & pulled her back to the beach.

She told me later that she was going to commit suicide but when I swam out she did not want me to die by drowning also, so she answered my call.

The island ambulance was called & she was taken to the local hospital before being transferred to the mainland by helicopter ambulance.

It's only part of the storey but I am sure that if that phycho had have worked with me, instead of isolating me, she could have been cured.

She never recovered from her depression. The last time I saw her she lived the life of a hermit!! Very sad!!

[Jingthing]

I am very skeptical. Why can't you just NAME this medication?!?

[manarak]

consider a change in lifestyle instead of a diet mindset

this.

get your mind off eating by doing a captivating activity.

[geriatrickid]

Everyone's a diet guru, so I won't even mention garcinia cambogia!

At least you didn't go down the colonic irrigation and enema road.

Obese people are vulnerable. They are desperate to shed the kilos and are easy prey for hucksters, charlatans and others that hover about seeking to exploit the vulnerable.

As human beings, we can help by being respectful, considerate and politely refusing to enable the obese person's self destructive behaviour.

[Neeranam]

I am very skeptical. Why can't you just NAME this medication?!?

It's some kind of amphetamine, I heard.

Also some put a drug that makes you not hungry - my wife tried a course but she looked terrible, couldn't sleep and had heart palpitations and dizziness.

Very dangerous in my opinion.

Edited June 24, 2013 by Neeranam

[Neeranam]

I have a good solution for your problem, but its up to you if you succeed.

You can take diet after diet, but it wont work for you, as it looks like.

Start your life with weatgrass powder. its also for sale in Thailand.

Its the most healthy superfood you can find. I dont sell it, i am a user myself.

Everything you really need you will find in weatgrass powder. I changed my daily eat patron.

I start with a weatgrassshake and some fruit. 1 time per day dinner and 1 shake again. you ll hungry again take another shake.

You will feel great after a while.

You eat things your body cant handle.

Good luck, whatever you choose to do

Also try apple cider vinegar - it worked a treat for my wife.

[Rice60640]

I have been obese all my life and continues my battle with my weight. I know we all have our experiences with weight loss and gain but everyone is different. My suggestion would be to seek professional help -- a therapist for the depression (understand yourself and your wants and needs, be happy again!) and a nutritionist about your food intake, metabolism, caloric count, etc. etc. The key to losing weight is to burn more calories than you take in -- basic truth. As for exercise, find what you like to do and do it. I hate gyms but don't mind biking and walking outdoors for an hour a day or more. Find some new friends that will also be your cheerleaders -- being recognized for the hard work you put into loosing weight is a booster. Once you start moving and get used to it, you'll want to move more and more and that will cause the weight to come off.

[Jingthing]

I am very skeptical. Why can't you just NAME this medication?!?

It's some kind of amphetamine, I heard.

Also some put a drug that makes you not hungry - my wife tried a course but she looked terrible, couldn't sleep and had heart palpitations and dizziness.

Very dangerous in my opinion.

Speed kills or so I've heard.

[Neeranam]

There is always an underlying reason behind every behavior, I would suspect you would know what it is (ie stress, anxiety etc..) - for me I eat too much because of stress and lack of planning (over-committing).

This is one of the best resources I have seen online in terms of depression support.

http://www.findingoptimism.com/blog/depression/how-to-support-someone-with-depression/

Find the cause, treat the symptoms.

Another idea is to shock yourself by getting a full Dr wellness check at Bumrungrad or other hospital. Nothing like a physician telling you how long you'll live for to motivate.

Good luck.

Stress and anxiety are just nice words to try to cover up 'fear'. There's nothing wrong with being scared - admit what it is and address it.

A life changing book is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I never use them anymore and my life is much better.

[how241]

Where I live (in the sticks) There is a Thai about the same age and weight you are. He always has a smile on his face and happy. He makes my day whenever I see him. No one seems to look down on him. I certainly don't.

+1....Good luck---you can lose it again...

[BradinAsia]

Hello armedian,,

I hope this helps you,, firstly you are not alone,, i love food i love cooking and eating, when i travel i like to sample the countries cullenery delights which result in me being overweight, being a westerner doesn't help either and i'm sure you know the rest, blah blah blah, you've herd it all so where now,,, don't be or get depressed because i'm older than you and i'm pissed off i can't do the things i used to do when i was younger, that will really piss you off,, recently i met up with a girl and her mother i know in Bangkok, we spent a few days together with them before i went up north,, one day the daughter asked me to go to Bangkok city with her,, we got in a taxi and the chatting started with the driver, i could not understand but noticed we did a detour around the city and crossed the river, we ended up in a Hospital,, i thought OK go with the flow,, it turned out my friend went to get a supply of slimming tablets from a reputable Hospital, and i didn't think she was fat, she had a normal body, what gives,, OK moving on,, the beauty industry in Thailand is becoming the number one industry after Japan and Korea so do what the locals do go to the Hospital, http://www.yanhee.net/home take a Thai with you if you can but they speak English there and ask for "make slim medicine" they will know exactly what you are after, they will perform a physical on you to determine you won't die then watch the fat fall off,, believe me i've seen it on another friend of mine who was obese and slimmed down before her wedding and still slim to this day,, the medicine they give you (tablets) has a special ingredient that i can explain to you in private but it's legal in Thailand.

Thais love shortcuts and all kinds of scam medicines are very popular here.

Weight loss pills are not effective long term and often have many bad side effects.

Reputable doctors in the west tend to discourage weight loss pills.

Edited June 24, 2013 by BradinAsia

[GoodWesternGuy]

Try this: Lose weight and record your journey onto a YouTube channel. When you get to 80 Kilos contact me and I will personally help you create a course showing how you did it. I will build a website and create a business for you out of it. I will take 50% share. FYI People would pay me $20K just to write the sales copy.

If you do your part - I will do mine and You will create a lot of money in the process.

[LisuLover]

We all struggle with different stuff: looks! height! shyness! skin condition! willy size! confidence, memory etc.. Your weight is your primary life challenge. Meet it head on and never let it take over. Tackle it every day and keep on top. It's a battle and you must allocate enough resources for battle. Enough time, enough energy, enough money.

And to the first replying poster who's only words were, "There's a separate forum for fat people", I hope you suddenly develop 10 stone testicles.