Thai f/friend in Bkk looking for a foreign boyfriend, what to advise her, places to go etc. ?

[rubberduck]

Advise needed - I know her for long time, 20 years or so, perhaps she isn't a supermodel but an intelligent and most honest, spontaneous and joyful 47 years, well-educated lady from Bangkok with a good job and recently even picked up a new study to improve herselves. She has an absolutely great sense of humour and loves to laugh and is the most loyal and supportive lady a man can get and absolutely no golddigger but wise with her own money. Yet she is still single as long as I know her and sometimes sadly watching her life go by without a man to enjoy with. She asked me so many times 'please you help finding me a foreign man', but what to advise her ?

I told her 'try discover the places where the expats go' and 'try connect with groups joined by foreigners' but I absolutely know nothing of Bangkok, the places where foreigners go. What should I advise her ?

What I would like to know: in Bangkok are there any expat clubs, cafés, groups or frequent gatherings of any kind where she could go to intermingle with foreigners ? She is a quite traditional and decent lady and shy (or reserved) but her other side is very spontanous when she know someone better. Far as I know clubbing and disco's are not her thing and defenitely no bar/café scenes. Hopefully some Bangkok residents out here can suggest me some places to go so I have something more to advise her.

Many thanks !

[benalibina]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

[rubberduck]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

Long time ago she and her best friend visited me in the Netherlands for 3 times for a holiday and meeting friends, managed her own visa with my help, She loves travelling but for sure it depends on the partner if she wants to and can live abroad, when she meets a sincere and stabile person who can give her a secure feeling she might be willing to start a new life abroad. But anyway she is very, very careful and somehow scared to start a new adventure. She is great with young kids yes, she has none of her own.

But as you say your current marriage isn't even over yet perhaps you should ask yourself if it's normal to look further that fast. (supposed you are not a joker) Anyway, she defenitely won't travel abroad to meet someone she'd never met I know her well enough for that, the only chance to meet new people will be in her city Bangkok.

Cheers, take care.

[MrWorldwide]

She really needs to have her bullshit detector firmly in place and be prepared to walk away from 'Mr Right' the instant it goes off. If that seems harsh, consider the advice given by so many men re Thai women - why would we expect women to be less cynical of our motives than we are of theirs ? C'est La Vie.

[benalibina]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

Long time ago she and her best friend visited me in the Netherlands for 3 times for a holiday and meeting friends, managed her own visa with my help, She loves travelling but for sure it depends on the partner if she wants to and can live abroad, when she meets a sincere and stabile person who can give her a secure feeling she might be willing to start a new life abroad. But anyway she is very, very careful and somehow scared to start a new adventure. She is great with young kids yes, she has none of her own.

But as you say your current marriage isn't even over yet perhaps you should ask yourself if it's normal to look further that fast. (supposed you are not a joker) Anyway, she defenitely won't travel abroad to meet someone she'd never met I know her well enough for that, the only chance to meet new people will be in her city Bangkok.

Cheers, take care.

Thanks for the reply. Did not expect to receive 1. Especially not from a fellow ...... man.

The time that i joined TV a couple of months ago have made me realize a couple of things about all the mistakes i have made in my life. Future planning is 1 of them. I try to correct that and reading your OP, i thought CHANCE OF A LIFETIME !!! The profile of your friend is what i am looking for in a woman so that is why i respond again for a short explanation. In all honesty my intentions are pure and sincere.

[rubberduck]

She really needs to have her bullshit detector firmly in place and be prepared to walk away from 'Mr Right' the instant it goes off. If that seems harsh, consider the advice given by so many men re Thai women - why would we expect women to be less cynical of our motives than we are of theirs ? C'est La Vie.

Agree, and she realizes that very well. Just two months ago she was approached via Facebook by some scammer 'I stay at Bangkok Airport for meeting you but ran out of money please you send me some' bullshti appeared to be a notorious scammer as I found out after short search. It scared the shti out of her and was totally confused, disappointed and scared, hence I want keep trying to help her meet new people, she is one of the few Thai women that are 100% OK. Just Bangkok is long time ago for me and I don't know the places.

Thanks.

[TobiasML]

If she would like to get to know foreigners on a more activity based gathering I would recommend her to check out meetup.com. Meetup is offering their members to join local groups for all kind of events. Be it weekly sport activities or monthly get together. In my opinion it is a great way to get to know people without the intention to "pick up" women or men. They have language groups, business groups, sport groups, photography groups, social groups, etc.

Good luck to her.

[banned1000]

She really needs to have her bullshit detector firmly in place and be prepared to walk away from 'Mr Right' the instant it goes off. If that seems harsh, consider the advice given by so many men re Thai women - why would we expect women to be less cynical of our motives than we are of theirs ? C'est La Vie.

Agree, and she realizes that very well. Just two months ago she was approached via Facebook by some scammer 'I stay at Bangkok Airport for meeting you but ran out of money please you send me some' bullshti appeared to be a notorious scammer as I found out after short search. It scared the shti out of her and was totally confused, disappointed and scared, hence I want keep trying to help her meet new people, she is one of the few Thai women that are 100% OK. Just Bangkok is long time ago for me and I don't know the places.

Thanks.

she lives in bkk and has never met a scammer b4, you gotta be kidding us.

anyhow tell her to join and participate her at thaivisa , more farangs here than you can poke a stick at. sooner or later she'd get a bite. not for me though, any friend of yours could never interest me.

Edited July 27, 2013 by banned1000

[banned1000]

oh yeah ask her how many million the dowry is? ha ha ha

Edited July 27, 2013 by banned1000

[benalibina]

She really needs to have her bullshit detector firmly in place and be prepared to walk away from 'Mr Right' the instant it goes off. If that seems harsh, consider the advice given by so many men re Thai women - why would we expect women to be less cynical of our motives than we are of theirs ? C'est La Vie.

Agree, and she realizes that very well. Just two months ago she was approached via Facebook by some scammer 'I stay at Bangkok Airport for meeting you but ran out of money please you send me some' bullshti appeared to be a notorious scammer as I found out after short search. It scared the shti out of her and was totally confused, disappointed and scared, hence I want keep trying to help her meet new people, she is one of the few Thai women that are 100% OK. Just Bangkok is long time ago for me and I don't know the places.

Thanks.

she lives in bkk and has never met a scammer b4, you gotta be kidding us.

anyhow tell her to join and participate her at thaivisa , more farangs here than you can poke a stick at. sooner or later she'd get a bite. not for me though, any friend of yours could never interest me.

Personal vendetta ?

Silly man you are !

[banned1000]

She really needs to have her bullshit detector firmly in place and be prepared to walk away from 'Mr Right' the instant it goes off. If that seems harsh, consider the advice given by so many men re Thai women - why would we expect women to be less cynical of our motives than we are of theirs ? C'est La Vie.

Agree, and she realizes that very well. Just two months ago she was approached via Facebook by some scammer 'I stay at Bangkok Airport for meeting you but ran out of money please you send me some' bullshti appeared to be a notorious scammer as I found out after short search. It scared the shti out of her and was totally confused, disappointed and scared, hence I want keep trying to help her meet new people, she is one of the few Thai women that are 100% OK. Just Bangkok is long time ago for me and I don't know the places.

Thanks.

she lives in bkk and has never met a scammer b4, you gotta be kidding us.

anyhow tell her to join and participate her at thaivisa , more farangs here than you can poke a stick at. sooner or later she'd get a bite. not for me though, any friend of yours could never interest me.

Personal vendetta ?

Silly man you are !

thanks, but i got better things to do.

[HughJass]

is she good looking and what about her English skills?

[greg71]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

[EBlair48]

Sorry to say I'd agree, her use by date has expired. Foreign men here demand far younger women, and get them, too.

One wonders why she looks specifically for foreigners? With the stigma attached to Thais who partner with foreigners, rather dubious as to her true intentions.

G O L D D I G G E R ( sol )

If she is for real , just tell her to wait for men-o-pause then she can easily go without a man in her life,in fact she'll enjoy the free time she's not acting as a servant.

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

[geriatrickid]

At 47, and independent she is not going to be interested in some guy that doesn't have either a stable career, a stable "retirement" or his feet on the ground. I would expect she is going to be open to the 40 to 60 year old male demographic, with exceptions understood for someone "special" outside that demographic. Ok, so now ask yourself where decent people "hang out" in that age demographic. The places I have seen such people are;

1. The quasi sports clubs, golf clubs, tennis clubs, sailing clubs and some of the local cycling clubs. She may want to take up one of these athletic activities.

2. Hospitals. There are a number of rather kind hearted foreigners who volunteer at some of the hospitals.

3. Benevolent organizations. The number of very respectable foreigners that help out some of the wildlife charities and animal shelter groups is impressive. There are a few refugee dedicated groups that attract some of the foreign crowd. Often they are spouses of foreign embassy staff or multinational company executives. Those ladies are often good sources of referrals. I've seen a few retired engineers and ex military males volunteering over the years.

Good luck.

[1FinickyOne]

It is sad, in that I am sure she is a lovely lady for you to go through this effort for her. The sad part is that the only advice is that the line forms to the right, most never get chosen and the young girls go to the front of the line. Even sadder is that she would likely make a much better wife than many of the young ones.

Out in the countryside, there are so many lovely ladies 30+ who would be asking the same question if they had not given up hope many years ago, though for most here, there is a language barrier. The rare time I have friends come over who are not attached, I let them find their own true love - as it seems to be gentlemans choice here...

best of luck to her.

[geriatrickid]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

Are you serious? If you think that woman at 47 is washed up, then obviously you are using your peer group as a reference point. There are plenty of women who are quite desirable even when they are older. Maybe you have never met them, but I have come in contact with plenty of independent business ladies and scientists that are still quite desirable. Many educated and secure males are not attracted to uneducated low class bar trade workers or 7-11 clerks, no matter how beautiful. After awhile, the ignorance and undeveloped social skills cause grief.

[hotlipstom]

tell her to Check out this web site!! date in Asia.com many foreign men in Thailand Use it!! Tell her to sign up and make a profile with one Clear Pic!! it free!!

[ajarnpot]

suggest she go in for casual sex and then random arguments over nothing

[USNret]

Are you serious? If you think that woman at 47 is washed up, then obviously you are using your peer group as a reference point. There are plenty of women who are quite desirable even when they are older. Maybe you have never met them, but I have come in contact with plenty of independent business ladies and scientists that are still quite desirable. Many educated and secure males are not attracted to uneducated low class bar trade workers or 7-11 clerks, no matter how beautiful. After awhile, the ignorance and undeveloped social skills cause grief.

While I am sympathic to your cause & I wish both you & her the best of luck, you quite obviously know nothing of Thailand. I'm sure she's a delightful lady, but stacked up against the competition she is probably in the bottom 20%. This is not to say anything derogatory about her, but rather that the competition is fierce. There are many beautiful, honest, intelligent, sweet ladies available, at a decade or two younger than her. All other things being equal, she's up against a tough problem.

I feel very fortunate to have found my wonderful wife in BKK; we are now living in Hawaii after spending the last 3 years in Japan. We have been together for 7 years now & very happy. We have often asked ourselves: How can a "nice" girl in BKK meet a "nice" farang (the 2 quoted words have different meanings. The nice girl is honest, educated, and not a bar girl. The nice guy has good intentions; is not exploitative of the lady and seeks a genuinely fulfilling relationship) It is truly a difficult problem; most nice girls won't go where the farang are, and if she did the nice farang wouldn't be there. I'm oversimplifying, but in general that's how I view the problem.

My wife & I met as penpals. We emailed & chatted online for a year before we met (on a short visit to BKK). Then another year before I moved there for a job. Then another year before we got married. This gave us plenty of time in low-stress settings to really get to know each other.

I think your best hope is to introduce her to someone who doesn't live in Thailand. Someone whom you know is a "nice" guy. Casting about on a website like this is just going to end up breaking her heart, as your only lead so far has been from a married guy. So who do you personally know, of an eligible age, who is seeking a life partner? See if you can make an online introduction.

[SOTIRIOS]

.......don't get involved...let her find someone....or not...on her own.....Thais are very good superficially.....

[nosatisfaction]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

Long time ago she and her best friend visited me in the Netherlands for 3 times for a holiday and meeting friends, managed her own visa with my help, She loves travelling but for sure it depends on the partner if she wants to and can live abroad, when she meets a sincere and stabile person who can give her a secure feeling she might be willing to start a new life abroad. But anyway she is very, very careful and somehow scared to start a new adventure. She is great with young kids yes, she has none of her own.

But as you say your current marriage isn't even over yet perhaps you should ask yourself if it's normal to look further that fast. (supposed you are not a joker) Anyway, she defenitely won't travel abroad to meet someone she'd never met I know her well enough for that, the only chance to meet new people will be in her city Bangkok.

Cheers, take care.

Maybe one SERIOUS and possibly interesting option would be to join one of the Embassy - Thai clubs, BelgoThai, french one, i'm sure there are other ones I don't know. Perhaps worth a try.

Anyway big step to make in a big city

[ezzra]

Best bet will be the on-line dating websites, that will give a snapshot of he worth sort to speak

on the wanted/coveted " I want you" ladder of social placing, there she will learn first hand

what cannot be thought in school, how to tell a good person from a dickwade,

what you teach her however, to be vigilant, switched on and generally aware of someone

that doesn't add up or doesn't feel right, and by all means, consult a friend for advise and

another per of eyes and ears,

at 47, if she look half decent, healthy have her own money/job/security and a bit of English

she can do well with the 50-70 years old retirees that are here by the thousands.

[nosatisfaction]

have a look at my previous post about Embassy clubs

[transam]

Those here who talk about the lady being too old or passed it really are so stupid, I can't believe they wrote it.

[GAZZPA]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

Are you serious? If you think that woman at 47 is washed up, then obviously you are using your peer group as a reference point. There are plenty of women who are quite desirable even when they are older. Maybe you have never met them, but I have come in contact with plenty of independent business ladies and scientists that are still quite desirable. Many educated and secure males are not attracted to uneducated low class bar trade workers or 7-11 clerks, no matter how beautiful. After awhile, the ignorance and undeveloped social skills cause grief.

How right you are. There are many foreign men in Thailand who come here purely on the lookout for women, why? It's simple, they are most likely to have more money then a local man, even a modest income in the West goes a long way here and it gives them a chance to hitch up with a beautiful young woman who at home would be way out of their league. I see hundreds of older men with seemingly very young and beautiful women which i would very rarely see at home (excluding the minority millionaires). Of course not all men here are like this but i suspect this is the demographic that is being referred to. From the description she is an intelligent, independent 47 year old woman who has not yet found a man for whatever reason. There are plenty of men who will see this as attractive, she just needs to start socializing to find him. I am not sure of the exact places to go but a good start will be to join some kind of group that she is interested in, such as sports, art, traveling or even church. She will meet someone sooner or later and probably enjoy herself along the way. Good luck to her.

[realenglish1]

She will have a problem I agree that most men can easly get a younger woman I am 60 and have a 33 year old Finance so she had better consider an older guy in his late 60s or 70s then they will believe they have a younger woman

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

suggest she go in for casual sex and then random arguments over nothing

i resemble that remark

[EBlair48]

^ Stupid, or realistic? One wonders why the dating site ads here and everywhere else on Thai forums feature pics of practically pubescent females.

Sure one or two guys would look past her age for her personality. Maybe even three, but western foreigners are not renown for their raised consciousness.

[ThommoPerth]

I am available, divorced 18 years, 1 grown up kid. I am not looking for a young woman as I find they are not mature enough to have a full time relationship with an older man.