really guys .... if you wear shorts to play a sport ... it is meant for women!

really guys .... if you wear shorts to play a sport ... it is meant for women!

Your having a laff aint ya? American football players, wear lycra leggings, reserved only for ballet dancers and fancy dress parties

Really a man that size should never be seen in public wearing leggings or for that matter lycra

Yep.the big fatties need padding to tackle.They have all the aerobic fitness of a fat puppy and are as hard as Jelly.

In rugby Union and League, you can still (almost) get away with a high shot.Not in American Football though.All you do is smack into a helmut....what's the point in that??The joy of the cheap shot is gone.....

If I had wantedt o go to a 4 hour long Chess match, I would buy a DVD of Spasky playing.Why does you game take an eternity to play, with more rules than I got brain cells...just!

If you are too "slow" to follow the game than get yourself one of them there checked balls and short shorts and run around for five hours.

C'mon you North American wed wetting types.Prove me wrong.

I am a complete idiot for trying to respect other poeple's perferences. You don't get it, you don't get it, let it rest.

Rugby League Hits

Above is some of the smaller hits I could find.It takes a bit to download.

thaibebop,

If you keep going on like this, we will all think that American football fans are either devoid of a SOH, or can't take a gentle knee in the ribs...if you get my drift!

Ah.....I was joking. Hello, is this thing on?

Actually, until rugby players can stop the game, stand toe to toe, beat each other to a bloody pulp, and only get sent off for five minutes, they have no place calling anyone pussies.

cv

Cdn, now you are havin a laugh. In the UK, Hockey is only played by girls (or guys who act like girls). So surely playing it on Ice, is just like putting a Walt Disney Show on Ice. Like the Snow Queens. That blood on the guys face is Pantomime blood

:D I have see ice hockey players fight and they just slap each other, pussies. And nobody apart from Americans and Canadians can understand a <deleted> thing that is going on

If these comments were coming from a european country who was good at hockey (most of them) I would take it seriously. It comes however from the capital of prancing footballers falling to the ground in agony anytime another player brushes past them, and wrinkles their pleated stockings.

cv

If these comments were coming from a european country who was good at hockey (most of them) I would take it seriously. It comes however from the capital of prancing footballers falling to the ground in agony anytime another player brushes past them, and wrinkles their pleated stockings.

cv

Come on now vic, what has ever come out of Canada that was any use? Have Canadians ever invented any decent games? Well apart from the run as fast as you can from the invading Germans........ Oh no sorry that was the French, you boys just happen to speak the same language Really mate who in their right mind would want to be associated with French people

I will give you Lana lang from Smallville, she is Canadian so its not all bad i guess. So come on stick up for your country and tell us some good things that have come out of your homeland

Ohhh one more famous thing to cme out of Canada........... Canadian Jesse, thankfully he went back again

Come on now vic, what has ever come out of Canada that was any use? Have Canadians ever invented any decent games? Well apart from the run as fast as you can from the invading Germans........

Hmmm... you guys made it to Dunkirk pretty fast yourselves. Left most of your equipment there too. Good thing we had these fellows sent over to protect you until you repaced the equipment you abandoned to the Germans.

Oh no sorry that was the French, you boys just happen to speak the same language Really mate who in their right mind would want to be associated with French people

Yes, we've also mastered english, and are patiently waiting for you to catch up.

I will give you Lana lang from Smallville, she is Canadian so its not all bad i guess. So come on stick up for your country and tell us some good things that have come out of your homeland

A partial list I ripped from another site:

acrylics (Plexiglas/Perspex/Lucite) - William Chalmers

CPR Dummy - Dianne Croteau, Richard Brault and Jonathan Vinden

air-conditioned railway coach - Henry Ruttan (1858)

antigravity suit - Wilbur R. Franks (1940)

Balderdash - Laura Robinson and Paul Toyne (1984)

basketball - James Naismith (1892)

batteryless radio (AC radio tube) - Edward Samuel Rogers Sr. (1925)

bovril

Canadarm (Space shuttle arm)- SPAR and the National Aeronautical Establishment (1981)

calcium carbide and acetylene gas (production of) - Thomas L. "Carbide" Wilson (1892)

carcino embryonic antigen (CEA) blood test - Dr. Phil Gold (1968)

cardiac intensive care unit (first)

cobalt bomb - University of Saskatchewan and Eldorado Mining and Refining (1951)

compound marine engine - Benjamin Franklin Tibbets compound revolving snow shovel (trains)

computerized braille

crash position indicator (C.P.I) - Harry T. Stevinson and David M. Makow (1959)

dental mirror

ear piercer

electric cooking range - Thomas Ahearn (1882)

electric hand prosthesis for children - Helmut Lukas (1971)

electrical car (North America's first)

electric wheelchair - George J. Klein

electron microscope - Prof. E. F. Burton and Cecil Hall, James Hillier and Albert Prebus (late 1930s)

electronic wave organ - Frank Morse Robb (1927)

explosives vapour detector - Dr Lorne Elias (1990)

fathometer - Reginald Fessenden

film developing tank

five pin bowling - Thomas E. Ryan (1909)

foghorn - Robert Foulis (1854)

frozen fish - Dr. Archibald G. Huntsman (1926)

Plastic garbage bag - Harry Wasyluk and Larry Hanson (1950s)

Gestalt Photo Mapper - G. Hobrough (1975)

ginger ale - John J. McLaughlin (1904)

goalie mask - Jacques Plante (1959)

hair tonic

heart valve operation (first)

helicopter trap (for landing on ships)

helium as a substitute for hydrogen in airships

hydrofoil boat - Alexander Graham Bell and Casey Baldwin (1908)

IMAX - Grahame Ferguson, Roman Kroitor, Robert Kerr (1968)

instant potato flakes - Dr. Edward Asselbegs and the Food Research Institute (1962)

insulation

insulin (as diabetes treatment) - Dr. Frederick Banting, Dr. Charles Best and Dr. Collip (1921)

Java scripting language - James Gosling

Jetline

jolly jumper - Olivia Poole

kerosene - Abraham Gesner (1840)

lacrosse - played since the 1600s; William George Beers set out standard rules (1860)

lightbulb (first patented) - Henry Woodward (1874)

liposomes

machine gun tracer bullet

MacPherson gas mask

margirine

Muskol

Newtsuit - Phil Nuytten

newsprint - Charles Fenerty (1838)

Nursing Mother Breast Pads - Marsha Skrypuch (1986)

pablum - Drs. Alan Brown, Fred Tisdall, and Theo Drake (1930s)

pacemaker - Wilfred Bigelow

paint roller - Norman Breakey (1940)

panoramic camera - John Connon (1887)

PHI (position homing indicator for aircraft)

Pictionary - Rob Angel (1986)

pizza telephone computer delivery services

portable high chair

3D Puzzles

radar profile recorder - NRC (1947)

radio compass

retractable beer carton handle (Tuck-away-handle Beer Carton) - Steve Pasjac (1957)

rollerskate

screw propeller

ski-binding

snowblower - Arthur Sicard (1927)

snowmobile - Joseph-Armand Bombardier (1937)

snowplow (rotary) - invented by J.W. Elliot (1869), first built by Leslie Brothers (1883)

steam foghorn

standard time - Sir Sanford Fleming (1879)

Stol aircraft - de Havilland Canada (1948)

Submarine telegraph cable

Superman - Joe Shuster and Jerome Siegel (1938)

Telephone - Alexander Graham Bell (1874) (Canadian citizen, born in Scotland, invented it in the US, so we have to share this one)

Trivial Pursuit - Chris Haney, John Haney and Scott Abbott (1982)

variable Pitch Propeller - Wallace Rupert Turnbull (1918)

Walkie-Talkie - Donald L. Hings (1942)

washing machine

wirephoto - Sir William Stephenson (1921)

zipper - Gideon Sundback (1913)

We also have the third largest aircraft manufacturer in the world. You guys are doing pretty good making parts for French airplanes though

cv

Nice one vic

Oh....... get a GRIP you lot!!!!!!!!!!!

Who's on first base, who's on second base?

WHO SAID THAT?????

nothing to do with football, mind you......

One of the most famous baseball comedy acts to ever take place was the following humorous exchange between Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. The words alone cannot do it justice, but it is still quite funny to read. The skit was originally done on the radio live (each & every time) until the legendary duo later included it on The Naughty Nineties compilation.

The general premise behind the exchange has Costello, a peanut vendor named Sebastion Dinwiddle, talking to Abbott who is Dexter Broadhurt, the manager of the mythical St. Louis Wolves.However, before Costello can get behind the plate, Abbott wants to make sure he knows everyone's name on the team...

Note: We mentioned above that words alone cannot do it justice. To that end we have included a complete audio sample of the original Who's on First? for you to listen to!

Who's On First?

by Abbott and Costello

A Word-for-Word Transcript

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: I certainly do.

Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...

Costello: His brother Daffy.

Abbott: Daffy Dean...

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofè.

Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...

Costello: That's what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets...

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money...

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Whose wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign...

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on first?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher's name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don't want to tell me today?

Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher's name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who's got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's different.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You're not saying it...

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

Lou Costello useta appear to me when on LSD with the same sort of routine...I think that's why I named my son Louie...(also could have been ' Louie, Louie'...not sure). Lou Costello useta play with his necktie all the time...

Somebody once said that a Canadian is nothing more than an unarmed American with health insurance

can't get the fvking edit function right.

Edited April 12, 200620 yr by meom

Balderdash - Laura Robinson and Paul Toyne (1984)

bovril

ear piercer

five pin bowling - Thomas E. Ryan (1909)

Plastic garbage bag - Harry Wasyluk and Larry Hanson (1950s)

goalie mask - Jacques Plante (1959)

hair tonic

instant potato flakes - Dr. Edward Asselbegs and the Food Research Institute (1962)

jolly jumper - Olivia Poole

Newtsuit - Phil Nuytten

Nursing Mother Breast Pads - Marsha Skrypuch (1986)

Pictionary - Rob Angel (1986)

pizza telephone computer delivery services

portable high chair

retractable beer carton handle (Tuck-away-handle Beer Carton) - Steve Pasjac (1957)

Nice try vic but i'd have left some of those out of it

Somebody once said that a Canadian is nothing more than an unarmed American with health insurance

Balderdash - Laura Robinson and Paul Toyne (1984)

bovril

ear piercer

five pin bowling - Thomas E. Ryan (1909)

Plastic garbage bag - Harry Wasyluk and Larry Hanson (1950s)

goalie mask - Jacques Plante (1959)

hair tonic

instant potato flakes - Dr. Edward Asselbegs and the Food Research Institute (1962)

jolly jumper - Olivia Poole

Newtsuit - Phil Nuytten

Nursing Mother Breast Pads - Marsha Skrypuch (1986)

Pictionary - Rob Angel (1986)

pizza telephone computer delivery services

portable high chair

retractable beer carton handle (Tuck-away-handle Beer Carton) - Steve Pasjac (1957)

Nice try vic but i'd have left some of those out of it

They are just astounding , and all us poor Kiwis ever did was 'Split the Atom'

Lou Costello useta appear to me when on LSD with the same sort of routine...I think that's why I named my son Louie...(also could have been ' Louie, Louie'...not sure). Lou Costello useta play with his necktie all the time...

So, when was the last time, tutsi??

They are just astounding , and all us poor Kiwis ever did was 'Split the Atom'

It was an accident. They were just too cheap to buy two.

cv

They are just astounding , and all us poor Kiwis ever did was 'Split the Atom'

Here's some of NZ's contributions to the world.

NZ inventions and other novelties.

NZ Intellectual Property

Bungy Jumping

Walking Aid

Oval Golf Ball

Buzzy Bee

World’s Only Sheep Processing Robot

Versatile Document Holder

Puzzles and Games

Historic New Zealand Inventions

Developer of the Continuous Fermentation System

Spreadable Butter

Software

Hot Dog Software

They are just astounding , and all us poor Kiwis ever did was 'Split the Atom'

Here's some of NZ's contributions to the world.

NZ inventions and other novelties.

NZ Intellectual Property

Walking Aid

Historic New Zealand Inventions

Developer of the Continuous Fermentation System

both of these are very impotant.

The walking aid, so that people can learn to walk again after they play us in rugby.

And as for continuous fermentation...I go all misty just thinking about it.

If we hadn't of split the Atom, all you yanks would be without power and unable to fight a war...

And as for continuous fermentation...I go all misty just thinking about it.

Edited April 13, 200620 yr by Tippaporn

They are just astounding , and all us poor Kiwis ever did was 'Split the Atom'

Here's some of NZ's contributions to the world.

NZ inventions and other novelties.

NZ Intellectual Property

Walking Aid

Historic New Zealand Inventions

Developer of the Continuous Fermentation System

both of these are very impotant.

The walking aid, so that people can learn to walk again after they play us in rugby.

And as for continuous fermentation...I go all misty just thinking about it.

If we hadn't of split the Atom, all you yanks would be without power and unable to fight a war...

Don't forget being the first ones to climb everest, and winning the Americas' Cup twice when the whole country had less people than the home port of the defending champ.

Ruined of course when cooter and butterball sold out their country to the highest bidder.

cv

They are just astounding , and all us poor Kiwis ever did was 'Split the Atom'

Here's some of NZ's contributions to the world.

NZ inventions and other novelties.

NZ Intellectual Property

Walking Aid

Historic New Zealand Inventions

Developer of the Continuous Fermentation System

both of these are very impotant.

The walking aid, so that people can learn to walk again after they play us in rugby.

And as for continuous fermentation...I go all misty just thinking about it.

If we hadn't of split the Atom, all you yanks would be without power and unable to fight a war...

Don't forget being the first ones to climb everest, and winning the Americas' Cup twice when the whole country had less people than the home port of the defending champ.

Ruined of course when cooter and butterball sold out their country to the highest bidder.

cv

fully agree.The worst part is that coots has been given the boot by Alingi

American football devolved from rugby.The only thing your mob invented was Apple Pie.

Well, they did invent the snooze-fest known as Baseball as well.

Want to see millionaire sissies bitch slap each other ? Watch a baseball (or basketball) fight.

Hockey can be brutal. Frozen pucks travelling at speeds up to 100 miles an hour (160 kms/hr). Players bodychecking each other while moving at speeds close to 30 mph (50 kms/hr). Players who prime role is to beat the crap out of other players.

Players get injured, get stitched up while sitting on the bench and are back out on the ice for their next shift.

When I was playing recreational hockey in Canada, I wore the most expensive equipment I could buy in a store (my goalie gear cost about $2,700 US). I would come home from games with welts and bruises all over from stopping those frozen pucks. In one game, I took a puck off the side of my foot during the pre-game warm-up. If I left the game, the team wouldn't have had a goalie, so I stayed.

Went to the hospital after the game. X-rays showed I had a broken bone in my foot. Because I waited so long before going to the hospital, I had to wait 2 more days for the swelling to go down before the doctors would re-examine me.

Hockey, football and rugby all have a rugged physical aspect to them. Each sport has their rabid fan base that believes their sport is better than any others. It's kind of silly really, like comparing apples, oranges and pears and arguing which is the better fruit.

All 3 are far superior to soccer, baseball and basketball

fully agree.The worst part is that coots has been given the boot by Alingi

<deleted> got what he deserved.... bloody traitor

No idea of either sports (I am German after all and therefor excused...) but I can see a significant amount of yank bashing going on.

Daley, Bojangles: Well done, and keep up the good job!

Boonie: We are anxioulsy waiting for some political insights to the subject

And on a side note: Isn't it amazing that a thread can stay for that many pages more or less on topic in Bedlam?

If we hadn't of split the Atom, all you yanks would be without power and unable to fight a war...

I am glad you said fight and not win

If you really want a good laugh, Dale, take a look at this:

No small wonder some people are totally confused about sports.

If you can't play the real game then make one up. I can understand now why the Kiwis at least play rugsbie rather than football. Don't know what the excuse is in GB, but I'm sure you'd find plenty.

Edited April 13, 200620 yr by Tippaporn

fully agree.The worst part is that coots has been given the boot by Alingi

<deleted> got what he deserved.... bloody traitor

Are you sure you are Canadian ?

None of the above sounded like it had anything to do with hockey........

If you really want a good laugh, Dale, take a look at this:

No small wonder some people are totally confused about sports.

If you can't play the real game then make one up. I can understand now why the Kiwis at least play rugsbie rather than football. Don't know what the excuse is in GB, but I'm sure you'd find plenty.

Thats not the only balls, kiws have shaped like that

Well the U.K invented not only football but also rugby, which then the rest of the world then stole and either kept playing rugby or football, or butchered the game and left American football. Because lets face it Americans are crap at football and rugby, so they needed to combine the 2 games, have 60 players in a team and THE most complex set of rules in a game ever, that not even the players and crowds understand, and this is why no one outside America plays your stupid game, because it takes three days to read the rule book, and you could never get 60 real men to dress up in lycra and padding and run round giving high 5's

And on a side note: Isn't it amazing that a thread can stay for that many pages more or less on topic in Bedlam?

Not a problem, as long as it's pretty much a Yank-bashing thread!

And on a side note: Isn't it amazing that a thread can stay for that many pages more or less on topic in Bedlam?

Not a problem, as long as it's pretty much a Yank-bashing thread!

Nah just an examination of the differences between a real sport and a lesser sport.

And on a side note: Isn't it amazing that a thread can stay for that many pages more or less on topic in Bedlam?

Not a problem, as long as it's pretty much a Yank-bashing thread!

Nah just an examination of the differences between a real sport and a lesser sport.

Exactly mate, its not our fault all Americans play the lesser sport