Financial or loving relationship; which do you have?

[Southerndrawl]

I have had a few long term relationships with Thai women (1 year or more), and for the most part, sadly, I felt as if they were more financial arrangements rather than the loving type of relationship I had with my farang ex wife. Maybe because I was with women who were 20 years my junior, but I just didnt fell the pulsing heart or the passion I felt with my ex farang wife. Maybe its just me.

Im just wondering what types of relationships other expats have with their Thai wives/gf. Did you feel passionate (lots of hugs and kissing) when you first met them? Or was it just a meeting, then arranged type of marriage, then life on an even keel, with not much passion?

Should I just be resigned to the fact that if I eventually find a Thai wife, they dont like much affection, PDA, or passion? Or ws it me or the women I have been with? I bought my first Thai gf a large flower bouquet, but she told me not to buy any more, they just die after a week! What a passion killer.

What do you do to get romantic with your Thai girl? I know the standard answer, take her to an ATM, but Im being serious.

[meom]

Sometimes it takes a while for passion to develop.

Once they take a dump with the bathroom door wide-open you're in the clear though and anything goes.

[chris1dna]

Been married to my Thai wife for twelve years. Things have toned down a lot since the early days. A five year old son and life have toned down the fervor o our passions. More like a maturing. Smoother. Calmer. More consistent. But the first several years before children it was full on huggleing as she called it. Kissing and sitting close all the time. Albeit mostly when we're were in private. Still a no no in public. Hope this helps.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[Songhua]

Been with my wife 23 years, married for twenty of them. We've worked hard for our money and rarely had an argument over it.

Kids are now 21 and 18 and we still have much the same passion we had when we made them. She likes being romanced as do most women.

Actually, she's never been my 'Thai wife' - just my wife, just as I am her husband.

[robblok]

Thai's like other females have enough passion and kiss and hug enough if you have the right one. Remember they need some excitement too a guy twice their age is going to satisfy them financially but physically its a different story.

For the right guy Thai females are as passionate as your western wives, thing is because there is a smaller income gap in the west females more often then not go for real attraction not money. Here because of the large income gap they often go for money and act like they don't care about the other stuff (just have an extra guy when their sponsor isnt watching).

You can make sure you are not one of those guys by not offering them money then you rule out the money part (if you want a relation based on attraction). If you are ok with spending money on a real sexy girl that pretends to love you and says age is just a number and i like your big belly then so be it. Good valid choice but make sure she does not find a way to get your money without you (like divorce when you just build a house). Keep baiting the hook and you will be fine.

As long as its your choice and your aware of what your doing and the risks you can go either way. I would not mind baiting the hook and giving money for a real sexy young one but id know she would not stand next to me when the money is gone. (and accept that of course)

[overherebc]

Should I call my relationship a financially loving relationship because we both love money ?

[Southerndrawl]

Thai's like other females have enough passion and kiss and hug enough if you have the right one. Remember they need some excitement too a guy twice their age is going to satisfy them financially but physically its a different story.

For the right guy Thai females are as passionate as your western wives, thing is because there is a smaller income gap in the west females more often then not go for real attraction not money. Here because of the large income gap they often go for money and act like they don't care about the other stuff (just have an extra guy when their sponsor isnt watching).

You can make sure you are not one of those guys by not offering them money then you rule out the money part (if you want a relation based on attraction). If you are ok with spending money on a real sexy girl that pretends to love you and says age is just a number and i like your big belly then so be it. Good valid choice but make sure she does not find a way to get your money without you (like divorce when you just build a house). Keep baiting the hook and you will be fine.

As long as its your choice and your aware of what your doing and the risks you can go either way. I would not mind baiting the hook and giving money for a real sexy young one but id know she would not stand next to me when the money is gone. (and accept that of course)

This is an awesome post. Maybe its time I did a reality check and I need to start dating older women if that will solve the passion problem.

[Yooyung]

Well....most relationships have a financial component. To live life you need money. I have a 5 year old son, I need to provide for him, I need to work. If I stopped work and just sat on my ass drinking Thai whiskey my wife would probably end up leaving me for a man that can provide some level of security. My wife also works but, me being a farang means that my earning potential is more. Is this an advantage for my wife or any other Thai woman for that matter? Sure it is. Men have always needed to provide for women, 1000 years ago when they went out to collect berries, we went out to hunt for meat....even then we were providing more, in relation to the calories/energy we could provide for our family. Having a man that can provide is still a huge part of a relationship for any woman. Ok, it is changing and women are now becoming more equal blah blah blah. You have to be a realist about such matters. I personally dont have a problem with it.

Now, did my wife look at me solely through the eyes of a prehistoric hunter gatherer when she first met me? Possibly in some ways. However, I am only 5 years older than my wife. By the time I met her my Thai was pretty reasonable and meeting up, chatting, having dinners was all pretty easy stuff for me. I was and still am a reasonably attractive bloke...even if i do say so myself. I would say that all things considered my wife thought...

1 He doesnt look too bad

2 He is around my age

3 He can speak Thai well enough

4 He isnt a lunatic and knows how to handle himself within the contect of Thai culture

5 He has a job, and is therefore somewhat responsible.

As far as passion goes, yes there DEFINITELY has been and still is in our relationship. We have been married for 8 years now. After having a kid and being with the same person for a long time though.... the flame does die a little, that is inevitable. I however dont expect everyday to be the best day of my life.....man! I am a realist about such things. Perhaps the frequency is not the same but the quality is definitely better.

Fear not. There are some very decent Thai women out there, inspite of what others on this board will tell you from their caravans in Palookasville.

[Southerndrawl]

And my congratulations to Song and Chris for your long term relationships. I hope it happens for me some time again.

[Yooyung]

...and by the way, there are literally....millions of single Thai women in the 30 - 45 year age bracket that are in the hunt for a decent man. In Thai culture, by the age of 30, a woman is considered 'old'. If I were a single man now.....oh yeah...I shouldnt even think about it...

[Southerndrawl]

Well....most relationships have a financial component. To live life you need money. I have a 5 year old son, I need to provide for him, I need to work. If I stopped work and just sat on my ass drinking Thai whiskey my wife would probably end up leaving me for a man that can provide some level of security. My wife also works but, me being a farang means that my earning potential is more. Is this an advantage for my wife or any other Thai woman for that matter? Sure it is. Men have always needed to provide for women, 1000 years ago when they went out to collect berries, we went out to hunt for meat....even then we were providing more, in relation to the calories/energy we could provide for our family. Having a man that can provide is still a huge part of a relationship for any woman. Ok, it is changing and women are now becoming more equal blah blah blah. You have to be a realist about such matters. I personally dont have a problem with it.

Now, did my wife look at me solely through the eyes of a prehistoric hunter gatherer when she first met me? Possibly in some ways. However, I am only 5 years older than my wife. By the time I met her my Thai was pretty reasonable and meeting up, chatting, having dinners was all pretty easy stuff for me. I was and still am a reasonably attractive bloke...even if i do say so myself. I would say that all things considered my wife thought...

1 He doesnt look too bad

2 He is around my age

3 He can speak Thai well enough

4 He isnt a lunatic and knows how to handle himself within the contect of Thai culture

5 He has a job, and is therefore somewhat responsible.

As far as passion goes, yes there DEFINITELY has been and still is in our relationship. We have been married for 8 years now. After having a kid and being with the same person for a long time though.... the flame does die a little, that is inevitable. I however dont expect everyday to be the best day of my life.....man! I am a realist about such things. Perhaps the frequency is not the same but the quality is definitely better.

Fear not. There are some very decent Thai women out there, inspite of what others on this board will tell you from their caravans in Palookasville.

Thanks for this. Its very valid... maybe part of my problem (in a humorous but serious way) is that my ex gf (20 year age difference) thought and said many times:

1 He is fat, hairy, and smells bad because he doesnt shower 3 times a day

2 He is an old fart waaay too old for a hot girl like me

3 He doesnt speak my language and thats ok because I dont really like to talk to him

4 He is a barbarian and the sooner he goes home the happier I will be as long as the western union keeps coming

5 He has a job but the money is just sufficient enough to put with his unpleasantries

As much as she didnt like me, I still loved her in a caring sort of way. She was just brutally honest and laid out why its not such a great idea for an older guy to try to date a much younger, narcissistic and highly attractive girl..

I hope this doesnt sound like a troll post, because its not.

Edited August 22, 2013 by Southerndrawl

[robblok]

Thai's like other females have enough passion and kiss and hug enough if you have the right one. Remember they need some excitement too a guy twice their age is going to satisfy them financially but physically its a different story.

For the right guy Thai females are as passionate as your western wives, thing is because there is a smaller income gap in the west females more often then not go for real attraction not money. Here because of the large income gap they often go for money and act like they don't care about the other stuff (just have an extra guy when their sponsor isnt watching).

You can make sure you are not one of those guys by not offering them money then you rule out the money part (if you want a relation based on attraction). If you are ok with spending money on a real sexy girl that pretends to love you and says age is just a number and i like your big belly then so be it. Good valid choice but make sure she does not find a way to get your money without you (like divorce when you just build a house). Keep baiting the hook and you will be fine.

As long as its your choice and your aware of what your doing and the risks you can go either way. I would not mind baiting the hook and giving money for a real sexy young one but id know she would not stand next to me when the money is gone. (and accept that of course)

This is an awesome post. Maybe its time I did a reality check and I need to start dating older women if that will solve the passion problem.

Problem might be that there is no passion from you then, like i said its all a choice.

The Thai guys with their younger gf check them a lot. One incident i know of is that the girl was required to give her phone and got a new sim deleting all her phone nrs. If the older guy found out she contaced her younger bf again it would be over. But that older guy also had a wife already and his new young gik was a looker. He did pay her a lot though but he knew what it was all about and used the money to keep her in check.

An other example was an younger girl went with a lot older guy but she got a house and 2 cars. It was purely financial. Both were co workers of my wife at a tour-company that did a lot of work for the Thai government and both guys were high up the food chain in the government.

They were happy with girls that pretended to love them, there are enough guys who like it that way it is just not for everyone. I am not sure what I would do if the current wife and I were to stop. A real young plaything is tempting and as long as I keep paying and checking her there should not be a problem. Plus you can change her for a new one once in a while if its purely financial.

[robblok]

I smell a troll anyone who lets a girl say that about him is either a troll or crazy.

[Southerndrawl]

I smell a troll anyone who lets a girl say that about him is either a troll or crazy.

The latter...

[ABCer]

Humans are very complicated systems.

A man and a woman are so much different.

Apart from age differences, cultural differences, needs and expectations, biological differences, etc.

Bring two of such systems together and you always have problems, Thai or not.

Long lasting 'love' = staying together is always a compromise.

One is always giving, tolerating, expecting more than the other.

In fact, one is never sure whether the relationship is 'love' or a 'deal' or a bit of both.

There is an absolute test: - never give her anything! Very soon you will see the result.

I wonder how many couples will stay together (percentage wise, not individuals).

Hope this answers your southerndrawl...

Nothing personal. It is an eternal question from the dawn of times... We are all in this together including 'them'.

Edited August 22, 2013 by ABCer

[Yooyung]

Well....most relationships have a financial component. To live life you need money. I have a 5 year old son, I need to provide for him, I need to work. If I stopped work and just sat on my ass drinking Thai whiskey my wife would probably end up leaving me for a man that can provide some level of security. My wife also works but, me being a farang means that my earning potential is more. Is this an advantage for my wife or any other Thai woman for that matter? Sure it is. Men have always needed to provide for women, 1000 years ago when they went out to collect berries, we went out to hunt for meat....even then we were providing more, in relation to the calories/energy we could provide for our family. Having a man that can provide is still a huge part of a relationship for any woman. Ok, it is changing and women are now becoming more equal blah blah blah. You have to be a realist about such matters. I personally dont have a problem with it.

Now, did my wife look at me solely through the eyes of a prehistoric hunter gatherer when she first met me? Possibly in some ways. However, I am only 5 years older than my wife. By the time I met her my Thai was pretty reasonable and meeting up, chatting, having dinners was all pretty easy stuff for me. I was and still am a reasonably attractive bloke...even if i do say so myself. I would say that all things considered my wife thought...

1 He doesnt look too bad

2 He is around my age

3 He can speak Thai well enough

4 He isnt a lunatic and knows how to handle himself within the contect of Thai culture

5 He has a job, and is therefore somewhat responsible.

As far as passion goes, yes there DEFINITELY has been and still is in our relationship. We have been married for 8 years now. After having a kid and being with the same person for a long time though.... the flame does die a little, that is inevitable. I however dont expect everyday to be the best day of my life.....man! I am a realist about such things. Perhaps the frequency is not the same but the quality is definitely better.

Fear not. There are some very decent Thai women out there, inspite of what others on this board will tell you from their caravans in Palookasville.

Thanks for this. Its very valid... maybe part of my problem (in a humorous but serious way) is that my ex gf (20 year age difference) thought and said many times:

1 He is fat, hairy, and smells bad because he doesnt shower 3 times a day

2 He is an old fart waaay too old for a hot girl like me

3 He doesnt speak my language and thats ok because I dont really like to talk to him

4 He is a barbarian and the sooner he goes home the happier I will be as long as the western union keeps coming

5 He has a job but the money is just sufficient enough to put with his unpleasantries

As much as she didnt like me, I still loved her in a caring sort of way. She was just brutally honest and laid out why its not such a great idea for an older guy to try to date a much younger, narcissistic and highly attractive girl..

I hope this doesnt sound like a troll post, because its not.

You sound like quite a catch....

If 65 year old hairy, smelly man that cant speak Thai cant work out that a 22 year old woman isnt with him for his money then, quite frankly he deserves a good kick in the pants....

I mean really...

[NeverSure]

OP. There are so many available women in Thailand that if one wasn't treating me well I'd dump her right now. As said, in the culture any single woman much over the age of 30 is damaged goods and you have your choice of lots of them.

Now read the post #15, please.

Edited August 22, 2013 by NeverSure

[David48]

I smell a troll anyone who lets a girl say that about him is either a troll or ...

It's walking like a duck ...

Give it time ...

Interesting to read ... my-gf-has-been-cheating;-what-did-you-do-when-it-happened-to-you

The poor guy seems to have been educated in the University of hard knocks.

I like his spirit though ... keeps coming back for more.

My white towel would have been tossed a long time ago ...

[theblether]

Thai's like other females have enough passion and kiss and hug enough if you have the right one. Remember they need some excitement too a guy twice their age is going to satisfy them financially but physically its a different story.

For the right guy Thai females are as passionate as your western wives, thing is because there is a smaller income gap in the west females more often then not go for real attraction not money. Here because of the large income gap they often go for money and act like they don't care about the other stuff (just have an extra guy when their sponsor isnt watching).

You can make sure you are not one of those guys by not offering them money then you rule out the money part (if you want a relation based on attraction). If you are ok with spending money on a real sexy girl that pretends to love you and says age is just a number and i like your big belly then so be it. Good valid choice but make sure she does not find a way to get your money without you (like divorce when you just build a house). Keep baiting the hook and you will be fine.

As long as its your choice and your aware of what your doing and the risks you can go either way. I would not mind baiting the hook and giving money for a real sexy young one but id know she would not stand next to me when the money is gone. (and accept that of course)

This is an awesome post. Maybe its time I did a reality check and I need to start dating older women if that will solve the passion problem.

Excellent post by Robblok........

I visited a friend recently who has a wife that's in a compatible age band. My friend is 64, I'm not too sure of his wife's age but I'm guessing around 50. Every day is the same for this gentleman, he's met with a kiss and a cuddle every morning. I watched her fussing around in the morning making sure everything was just so for him when he got up, ( she's an early bird ), and all through the day the key component of the relationship was in place........

He was always in her mind.

She was always one step ahead of him, always making sure he was okay. Sure she was capable of pulling his ear too but it was done in jest. She can't get over the fact that he still can't eat spicy food, he can't get over the fact that she can eat so much food full stop.

I sat back and watched both of them going about their business, and their business was always each other. This wasn't a one way street. I loved watching them interact, and I complimented them both on many occasions. That man freely admits that he could take or leave Thailand, but what he has with his wife he could never leave.

There's no worse feeling than feeling that your doing everything you can, but you are still alone. I think that's a feeling you are used to. The answer is two fold.

Find a partner that is age compatible......and once you find her pay attention to that most obvious of things, are you in her mind?

Does she call you when she's out and ask do you want anything? Does she fuss about needing to go down to Tesco Lotus because she's worried she's going to run out of your favourite food? Does she wander over and give you a cuddle? Does she walk up to you while your on the laptop and put her hand on her shoulder as she watches the screen with you? The one I like best as I think it's beautiful and comical, does she guide you across the road, holding you cos she's scared you'll get knocked down? On that subject, is she always at you to be careful about life in Thailand?

There's a long list of indicators as to whether or not you have a genuine relationship, every man in a loving relationship here will have his own little treasured moment that he loves about his wife.

Mercedes Girl ( my lady ) is actually older than me. She would do anything for me, I love the care and attention that she shows me. Love it. Of course I'll come on here and moan about her talking too much but hey nobody is perfect.

All of the best relationships I see here are age compatible, we did a poll on TV last year and age compatibility band was a lot narrower than you would expect.

If you truly want that feeling again, change the age band you are dating, and give yourself a chance. There are many professional and business women in Thailand in their 40's and 50's looking for a gentleman for companionship and love. They're lonely, they want the same thing you do. Go after them, go after an equal.

Find an equal and you've knocked it off, good luck.

[Notstupid30]

Been in a relationships for some time now we are both still young I myself being 31 and she turning 29 next month, We really don’t talk much about money these days as it’s not that important for us and we help one and other with all the bills 50/50 in all honesty and that’s how things should be done in this day and age.

Even when we go out for a meal like a date night we take it in turns on picking up the bill plus we are not that bothered about partying these days and would rather put our money away for the future for when we do decided we want children ..

I will also be getting married to her soon because we love one and other not because of any financial gains or for a Uk passport for that matter as she would like to stay in Thailand same as I would like to stay in Thailand too there will be no big fancy wedding or dowry as everybody is financially okay..

I’ve also been back in the United Kingdom since the end of April and only got two more weeks to go now and really can’t wait to be back home in Thailand and the reason I say that because been living in Thailand for 10 years now..

Just about everything has changed in the United Kingdom these day’s cost of living is so high these days it’s kind of shocking in all fairness compared to what you may earn from you monthly wage even if you wanted to go out it’s something in the region of about 10,000THB also you got people on welfare and I’m shocked how people can survive in the United Kingdom you have young people who can’t get a job or in some cases are homeless but anyway I think I have said what I’ve wanted to say .. It will just be good to get back to Thailand for us ..

[pattayadingo]

I too had the same problems as the OP with many relationships here over the years. Always trying some angle or another, be it financial or general scheming. Deceit? Plenty of them know all about that. Not one worked in a bar but these ladies knew how to work a man and that is why they were all dumped eventually.

It took me a a long time to find a really good one.

33 years old.

The only twin I've ever met in my life (she has a twin sister).

Caring, attentive. Full on the lips kisses. Snuggled up in bed every night. Holding hands everywhere even in the house.

Great with my friends.

Able to laugh and joke.

Good financially.

She has a good hearted family too.

Treated me with great care especially with any health problems.

A good homemaker too.

Problems? Yes, she has a few. Especially her 'hot heart' that created some problems but nothing that could not be resolved. None of us are perfect.

She was a great lady. Sadly and with a heavy heart, I have to leave her behind.

This one I would have married and coming from me, that is a great compliment to her.

If she finds another man, I sincerely hope he appreciates how good she is and what a great heart she has too.

[Roadman]

I also agree that it is more than likely the different age band. While there are loving age difference relationships IMHO the norm is generally that it is considered financial.

And if you are fortunate enough to find a loving Thai wife I would suggest that once you get past the initial thai shyness you will find a greater level of affection, loving and passion than what is available in the culture you have been raised in.

And what gets my dark eyed Beauty's affections flowing isn't flowers or the ATM but what thai's rate at....food...Bluff oysters, crayfish, a fresh snapper or blue cod and mix in friends and family and the Karoke (spelling?) and ....well happiness is.

Robblok and Theblether's post pretty well nail it.

[seajae]

the problem is the big age difference, it might boost your ego getting some one half your age but you really need to question why they are with you. My wife is in her forties, I am 60 but look & act like I am in my forties and we get on great, many same interests, enjoy being with each other and tend to do a lot together. I do not have money, in fact she earns more than me, our relationship has never been about money, it is based on love, makes all the difference and it is why we enjoy each others company. If you want to have a good relationship it needs to be based on feelings not ego. Just look at the amount of oldies(60 plus) with girls young enough to be their daughters/grandkids and you soon get your answer of why they dont work out, great for you self image and ego but when you cannot give them what they want/need(apart from money) it falls flat.

The good ones are out there but you have to look outside bars and clubs, I was lucky at a chance meeting and we just hit it off from the start. If you have hobbies etc try looking at places where you can practice them and see if you cant find someone with the same likes, bars will only give you sex and money chasers in most cases. For a great relationship you need to have a partner that feels the same way about you as you do about her, usually someone closer to your own age or with the same interests that is mature enough to know what life and love involves, someone that does base their life/love on your finances.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

All depends how desperate you are to have a female companion.

If you are willing to settle for the first woman who will have you, its likely financial.

If you are willing to take your time, there could be a real love match out there for you.

in the end most get what they deserve

[Southerndrawl]

Humans are very complicated systems.

A man and a woman are so much different.

Apart from age differences, cultural differences, needs and expectations, biological differences, etc.

Bring two of such systems together and you always have problems, Thai or not.

Long lasting 'love' = staying together is always a compromise.

One is always giving, tolerating, expecting more than the other.

In fact, one is never sure whether the relationship is 'love' or a 'deal' or a bit of both.

There is an absolute test: - never give her anything! Very soon you will see the result.

I wonder how many couples will stay together (percentage wise, not individuals).

Hope this answers your southerndrawl...

Nothing personal. It is an eternal question from the dawn of times... We are all in this together including 'them'.

Thank you for this. I know for a fact that if I never gave a (younger) girl anything, she would leave me for sure because of the "face" thing. Its hard for them to work out that a guy can really love them and not give them any money. I have very few friends that dont support their other half in one way or another, but then again, they are all with women much their junior, more than the 20 year age gap.

Can I find a lady in her 40's or 50's who is self supportive? Probably. I just havent tapped that age group yet. Maybe its time.

[andrew]

I smell a troll anyone who lets a girl say that about him is either a troll or ...

It's walking like a duck ...

Give it time ...

Interesting to read ... my-gf-has-been-cheating;-what-did-you-do-when-it-happened-to-you

That link was useful. No, this guy's not messing around. He's for real.

His ex apparently said:

... He is fat, hairy, and smells bad because he doesnt shower 3 times a day

... He is an old fart waaay too old for a hot girl like me

.. He has a job but the money is just sufficient enough to put with his unpleasantries

===============================

So who's right and who's wrong?

You have to remember that this is Thailand. It's all about face and appearances.

A girl wants to be able to show off her man. She wants her friends and colleagues to comment on how slim he is. And how tall he is. And how smart he is. And how clean he looks. And how fresh he looks.

If a girl ends up with a bummer, she loses face. Sure, she might stay with the bummer for a bit cash, but she'll hate him.

===========================

The obvious solution, then, is not to be a bummer.

[Southerndrawl]

Well....most relationships have a financial component. To live life you need money. I have a 5 year old son, I need to provide for him, I need to work. If I stopped work and just sat on my ass drinking Thai whiskey my wife would probably end up leaving me for a man that can provide some level of security. My wife also works but, me being a farang means that my earning potential is more. Is this an advantage for my wife or any other Thai woman for that matter? Sure it is. Men have always needed to provide for women, 1000 years ago when they went out to collect berries, we went out to hunt for meat....even then we were providing more, in relation to the calories/energy we could provide for our family. Having a man that can provide is still a huge part of a relationship for any woman. Ok, it is changing and women are now becoming more equal blah blah blah. You have to be a realist about such matters. I personally dont have a problem with it.

Now, did my wife look at me solely through the eyes of a prehistoric hunter gatherer when she first met me? Possibly in some ways. However, I am only 5 years older than my wife. By the time I met her my Thai was pretty reasonable and meeting up, chatting, having dinners was all pretty easy stuff for me. I was and still am a reasonably attractive bloke...even if i do say so myself. I would say that all things considered my wife thought...

1 He doesnt look too bad

2 He is around my age

3 He can speak Thai well enough

4 He isnt a lunatic and knows how to handle himself within the contect of Thai culture

5 He has a job, and is therefore somewhat responsible.

As far as passion goes, yes there DEFINITELY has been and still is in our relationship. We have been married for 8 years now. After having a kid and being with the same person for a long time though.... the flame does die a little, that is inevitable. I however dont expect everyday to be the best day of my life.....man! I am a realist about such things. Perhaps the frequency is not the same but the quality is definitely better.

Fear not. There are some very decent Thai women out there, inspite of what others on this board will tell you from their caravans in Palookasville.

Thanks for this. Its very valid... maybe part of my problem (in a humorous but serious way) is that my ex gf (20 year age difference) thought and said many times:

1 He is fat, hairy, and smells bad because he doesnt shower 3 times a day

2 He is an old fart waaay too old for a hot girl like me

3 He doesnt speak my language and thats ok because I dont really like to talk to him

4 He is a barbarian and the sooner he goes home the happier I will be as long as the western union keeps coming

5 He has a job but the money is just sufficient enough to put with his unpleasantries

As much as she didnt like me, I still loved her in a caring sort of way. She was just brutally honest and laid out why its not such a great idea for an older guy to try to date a much younger, narcissistic and highly attractive girl..

I hope this doesnt sound like a troll post, because its not.

You sound like quite a catch....

If 65 year old hairy, smelly man that cant speak Thai cant work out that a 22 year old woman isnt with him for his money then, quite frankly he deserves a good kick in the pants....

I mean really...

Yes I do deserve a good kick in the pants. My whole family and friends agree with you and are begging not to return to Thailand because of what I put myself through every time I go there and meet a new (younger) girl. Initial cash outlay, recurring support costs, then the torment of an eventual breakup.

[Southerndrawl]

OP. There are so many available women in Thailand that if one wasn't treating me well I'd dump her right now. As said, in the culture any single woman much over the age of 30 is damaged goods and you have your choice of lots of them.

Now read the post #15, please.

I am just not a player. I cant find it easy to dump a girl, even when she has wronged me. I am applying western morals and logic to a bad asian girl, and it has never worked for me, but thats just the way I am.

[Southerndrawl]

I smell a troll anyone who lets a girl say that about him is either a troll or ...

It's walking like a duck ...

Give it time ...

Interesting to read ... my-gf-has-been-cheating;-what-did-you-do-when-it-happened-to-you

The poor guy seems to have been educated in the University of hard knocks.

I like his spirit though ... keeps coming back for more.

My white towel would have been tossed a long time ago ...

Thanks. Unfortunately, Im still in that University getting knocked around despite my older age. Im just waiting for a miracle, or lightning to strike me, to get out of this rut.

[Southerndrawl]

Thai's like other females have enough passion and kiss and hug enough if you have the right one. Remember they need some excitement too a guy twice their age is going to satisfy them financially but physically its a different story.

For the right guy Thai females are as passionate as your western wives, thing is because there is a smaller income gap in the west females more often then not go for real attraction not money. Here because of the large income gap they often go for money and act like they don't care about the other stuff (just have an extra guy when their sponsor isnt watching).

You can make sure you are not one of those guys by not offering them money then you rule out the money part (if you want a relation based on attraction). If you are ok with spending money on a real sexy girl that pretends to love you and says age is just a number and i like your big belly then so be it. Good valid choice but make sure she does not find a way to get your money without you (like divorce when you just build a house). Keep baiting the hook and you will be fine.

As long as its your choice and your aware of what your doing and the risks you can go either way. I would not mind baiting the hook and giving money for a real sexy young one but id know she would not stand next to me when the money is gone. (and accept that of course)

This is an awesome post. Maybe its time I did a reality check and I need to start dating older women if that will solve the passion problem.

Excellent post by Robblok........

I visited a friend recently who has a wife that's in a compatible age band. My friend is 64, I'm not too sure of his wife's age but I'm guessing around 50. Every day is the same for this gentleman, he's met with a kiss and a cuddle every morning. I watched her fussing around in the morning making sure everything was just so for him when he got up, ( she's an early bird ), and all through the day the key component of the relationship was in place........

He was always in her mind.

She was always one step ahead of him, always making sure he was okay. Sure she was capable of pulling his ear too but it was done in jest. She can't get over the fact that he still can't eat spicy food, he can't get over the fact that she can eat so much food full stop.

I sat back and watched both of them going about their business, and their business was always each other. This wasn't a one way street. I loved watching them interact, and I complimented them both on many occasions. That man freely admits that he could take or leave Thailand, but what he has with his wife he could never leave.

There's no worse feeling than feeling that your doing everything you can, but you are still alone. I think that's a feeling you are used to. The answer is two fold.

Find a partner that is age compatible......and once you find her pay attention to that most obvious of things, are you in her mind?

Does she call you when she's out and ask do you want anything? Does she fuss about needing to go down to Tesco Lotus because she's worried she's going to run out of your favourite food? Does she wander over and give you a cuddle? Does she walk up to you while your on the laptop and put her hand on her shoulder as she watches the screen with you? The one I like best as I think it's beautiful and comical, does she guide you across the road, holding you cos she's scared you'll get knocked down? On that subject, is she always at you to be careful about life in Thailand?

There's a long list of indicators as to whether or not you have a genuine relationship, every man in a loving relationship here will have his own little treasured moment that he loves about his wife.

Mercedes Girl ( my lady ) is actually older than me. She would do anything for me, I love the care and attention that she shows me. Love it. Of course I'll come on here and moan about her talking too much but hey nobody is perfect.

All of the best relationships I see here are age compatible, we did a poll on TV last year and age compatibility band was a lot narrower than you would expect.

If you truly want that feeling again, change the age band you are dating, and give yourself a chance. There are many professional and business women in Thailand in their 40's and 50's looking for a gentleman for companionship and love. They're lonely, they want the same thing you do. Go after them, go after an equal.

Find an equal and you've knocked it off, good luck.

You and your friend are lucky men. There are plenty of men out there, me for one, who try to show love and affection and not get it back in return. My ex gf I would do anything for her. Took care of her family and son, but she just did not reciprocate and was cruel to me in many ways including multiple infidelities. I think you and your friend are probably good guys and treat your women well, or at least I hope you do. In the future I will try not to take my gf for granted, and try to be romantic with her more. But its hard when nothing is coming back.